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New invention....

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By *ddit... OP   Man
over a year ago

Land of the giants... ;-)

After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Or you could just wear gloves to Chop the chilli's then take them off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or sit down to pee

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Or sit down to pee"

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law."

Pah, down with laws.

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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law."

How else would they hit the floor

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

"The Mess Bed"

Basically a rectangular paddling pool, with a drain plug and straps to fix it to a bed.

"Social Driving kit"

Blue tooth inter-car connections, integrated with the engine management. If someone does something wrong/annoying you can "ping" them. 10 pings (from different people) and their engine shuts down for 30 mins...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law."

I sit down for a wee every time.

1. My bladder always feels more empty.

2. No shaking required to get rid of the last drips.

3. No mess - ever.

4. No leaving the toilet seat up.

5. It's the only chance I get to sit down without someone bothering me.

Total win all round.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law.

I sit down for a wee every time.

1. My bladder always feels more empty.

2. No shaking required to get rid of the last drips.

3. No mess - ever.

4. No leaving the toilet seat up.

5. It's the only chance I get to sit down without someone bothering me.

Total win all round. "

Also, it gives you chance to order fresh Pot Pourri and scatter cushions, while finishing listening to the Mama Mia soundtrack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or you could just wear gloves to Chop the chilli's then take them off "

My thoughts exactly xx

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law.

I sit down for a wee every time.

1. My bladder always feels more empty.

2. No shaking required to get rid of the last drips.

3. No mess - ever.

4. No leaving the toilet seat up.

5. It's the only chance I get to sit down without someone bothering me.

Total win all round. "

Me too, but only at home. Those urinals are really uncomfortable to sit on.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"

Me too, but only at home. Those urinals are really uncomfortable to sit on."

In Germany it turned into a big deal and ended up in court. Google it.

It also started a phrase ' Sitzpinkler' meaning men who sit to pee, meaning they are less masculine in other aspects.

(Just having some fun btw)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Me too, but only at home. Those urinals are really uncomfortable to sit on.

In Germany it turned into a big deal and ended up in court. Google it.

It also started a phrase ' Sitzpinkler' meaning men who sit to pee, meaning they are less masculine in other aspects.

(Just having some fun btw)

"

Could be something in this. I've always sat to pee

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?"

Ah, that's a bit like my tissue guard 'exit strategy' for getting out of public loos without touching a door handle after washing your own hands!! Why cant they make the exits all 'push' so you can get out without touching anything else lol?

I think I might know too much about microbiology....

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law.

I sit down for a wee every time.

1. My bladder always feels more empty.

2. No shaking required to get rid of the last drips.

3. No mess - ever.

4. No leaving the toilet seat up.

5. It's the only chance I get to sit down without someone bothering me.

Total win all round. "

But it says straight on your profile.

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?

Ah, that's a bit like my tissue guard 'exit strategy' for getting out of public loos without touching a door handle after washing your own hands!! Why cant they make the exits all 'push' so you can get out without touching anything else lol?

I think I might know too much about microbiology.... "

I'm like this, I have also mastered the art of opening doors with my feet.

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By *ubSirVient-DefinitionCouple
over a year ago

dukinfield


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law.

I sit down for a wee every time.

1. My bladder always feels more empty.

2. No shaking required to get rid of the last drips.

3. No mess - ever.

4. No leaving the toilet seat up.

5. It's the only chance I get to sit down without someone bothering me.

Total win all round. "

Me too although now going forward I'm going to use this list to justify why I do it rather than I'm too lazy to stand lol

Thank you.

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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago

Swindon


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law.

How else would they hit the floor "

And the seat, and the rim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law.

I sit down for a wee every time.

1. My bladder always feels more empty.

2. No shaking required to get rid of the last drips.

3. No mess - ever.

4. No leaving the toilet seat up.

5. It's the only chance I get to sit down without someone bothering me.

Total win all round.

But it says straight on your profile. "

You clearly have not experienced this. Once you sat - you will not go back. ?

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?

Ah, that's a bit like my tissue guard 'exit strategy' for getting out of public loos without touching a door handle after washing your own hands!! Why cant they make the exits all 'push' so you can get out without touching anything else lol?

I think I might know too much about microbiology.... "

I don't wash my hands if there are taps to turn off but then again, the only thing I touch is my clothes and toilet paper.

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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago

Swindon


"

You clearly have not experienced this. Once you sat - you will not go back. ?"

This, and you can multi task two handed with your phone, work emails and dodgy web sites sort of thing....!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?

Ah, that's a bit like my tissue guard 'exit strategy' for getting out of public loos without touching a door handle after washing your own hands!! Why cant they make the exits all 'push' so you can get out without touching anything else lol?

I think I might know too much about microbiology....

I don't wash my hands if there are taps to turn off but then again, the only thing I touch is my clothes and toilet paper. "

Exactly, can do that without contamination but you still have to get out lol!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You clearly have not experienced this. Once you sat - you will not go back. ?

This, and you can multi task two handed with your phone, work emails and dodgy web sites sort of thing....! "

Good call. I never thought of that.

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford


"

You clearly have not experienced this. Once you sat - you will not go back. ?

This, and you can multi task two handed with your phone, work emails and dodgy web sites sort of thing....! "

How long are you pissing for ?

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?

Ah, that's a bit like my tissue guard 'exit strategy' for getting out of public loos without touching a door handle after washing your own hands!! Why cant they make the exits all 'push' so you can get out without touching anything else lol?

I think I might know too much about microbiology....

I don't wash my hands if there are taps to turn off but then again, the only thing I touch is my clothes and toilet paper. "

I leave the tap running.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"

I don't wash my hands if there are taps to turn off but then again, the only thing I touch is my clothes and toilet paper.

I leave the tap running. "

You leave the tap running, just so you don't need to touch it afterwards???

If it bothers you, just rinse it while your hands are still soapy, then not waste hundreds of litres of water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You clearly have not experienced this. Once you sat - you will not go back. ?

This, and you can multi task two handed with your phone, work emails and dodgy web sites sort of thing....!

How long are you pissing for ?"

Bladder like a bull elephant.

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford


"

I don't wash my hands if there are taps to turn off but then again, the only thing I touch is my clothes and toilet paper.

I leave the tap running.

You leave the tap running, just so you don't need to touch it afterwards???

If it bothers you, just rinse it while your hands are still soapy, then not waste hundreds of litres of water."

If I'm pissing , or shitting for that matter, in a toilet that is not my own it is more than likely a public toilet therefore I doubt hundred litres of water would escape before the next person enters.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"

I leave the tap running.

You leave the tap running, just so you don't need to touch it afterwards???

If it bothers you, just rinse it while your hands are still soapy, then not waste hundreds of litres of water.

If I'm pissing , or shitting for that matter, in a toilet that is not my own it is more than likely a public toilet therefore I doubt hundred litres of water would escape before the next person enters. "

Probably not, but as we are told to turn off the tap whilst brushing our teeth. This seems rather wasteful.

It could be some time before someone else enters and turns off the tap. If everyone had this attitude we would soon have issues with water supply.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"Or sit down to pee

Men must stand up to pee, it's the law.

I sit down for a wee every time.

1. My bladder always feels more empty.

2. No shaking required to get rid of the last drips.

3. No mess - ever.

4. No leaving the toilet seat up.

5. It's the only chance I get to sit down without someone bothering me.

Total win all round. "

I sit down

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford


"

I leave the tap running.

You leave the tap running, just so you don't need to touch it afterwards???

If it bothers you, just rinse it while your hands are still soapy, then not waste hundreds of litres of water.

If I'm pissing , or shitting for that matter, in a toilet that is not my own it is more than likely a public toilet therefore I doubt hundred litres of water would escape before the next person enters.

Probably not, but as we are told to turn off the tap whilst brushing our teeth. This seems rather wasteful.

It could be some time before someone else enters and turns off the tap. If everyone had this attitude we would soon have issues with water supply."

Really ?

im sure Thames water can cope with a tap running for a few minutes because I have hygiene insecurities.

Blimey you forum lot can get your knickers in a twist over the slightest of things.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"

It could be some time before someone else enters and turns off the tap. If everyone had this attitude we would soon have issues with water supply.

Really ?

im sure Thames water can cope with a tap running for a few minutes because I have hygiene insecurities.

Blimey you forum lot can get your knickers in a twist over the slightest of things.

"

I don't think anyone is getting their knickers in a twist. The other posters fair comment was that if everybody left every public tap running after they used it, then there would be a problem.

I mentioned a simple way to avoid your hygiene insecurity and not have to leave the tap running.

Conversations involving different ideas are possible.

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"Or you could just wear gloves to Chop the chilli's then take them off "

It's impossible to finely slice anything wearing gloves, the knife edge drags and the blade invariably cuts the gloves..

Having fallen foul of chilli's before after considerable handwashing following their prep and not thinking anything of whilst showering for bed which was then followed by an increasing burning and a rapid trip to the fridge, I can confirm that a muller fruit corner works wonders (not the fruit side) and it also makes a tasty midnight snack once the pain subsides....

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?"

Well, back on track, I'll give you all the money, but I want 50% of Cock Hammocks Ltd.

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By *ddit... OP   Man
over a year ago

Land of the giants... ;-)


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?

Ah, that's a bit like my tissue guard 'exit strategy' for getting out of public loos without touching a door handle after washing your own hands!! Why cant they make the exits all 'push' so you can get out without touching anything else lol?

I think I might know too much about microbiology....

I'm like this, I have also mastered the art of opening doors with my feet. "

I wait until someone leaves or enters and dive through..

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By *ddit... OP   Man
over a year ago

Land of the giants... ;-)


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?

Well, back on track, I'll give you all the money, but I want 50% of Cock Hammocks Ltd."

that's basically 1 sheet of andrex... deal..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?

Ah, that's a bit like my tissue guard 'exit strategy' for getting out of public loos without touching a door handle after washing your own hands!! Why cant they make the exits all 'push' so you can get out without touching anything else lol?

I think I might know too much about microbiology.... "

Germs Update your immune system

As you advance yearly

Tough old Boot

As saying goes X

Wealth n Safety Door silliness

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford


"After chopping some scotch bonnets the other day... panic struck as I felt the urge to pee. .. only one thing to do... I created the cock hammock... basically create a cock sling with toilet paper to direct the stream... any one else have inventions?

Ah, that's a bit like my tissue guard 'exit strategy' for getting out of public loos without touching a door handle after washing your own hands!! Why cant they make the exits all 'push' so you can get out without touching anything else lol?

I think I might know too much about microbiology....

I'm like this, I have also mastered the art of opening doors with my feet. I wait until someone leaves or enters and dive through.. "

But apparently hardly anyone visits public loos so you could be in there for days, if I combined my problem with yours I would drown in hundreds of litres of water.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"

Me too, but only at home. Those urinals are really uncomfortable to sit on.

In Germany it turned into a big deal and ended up in court. Google it.

It also started a phrase ' Sitzpinkler' meaning men who sit to pee, meaning they are less masculine in other aspects.

(Just having some fun btw)

"

She-wee; god-send for women at those boozer nite-clubs. Maybe a male version for the guys to sit down and not feel less masculine

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