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Sub/dom vs BDSM: the differences and what do you like

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So what do we think? Where do the boundaries lie between these 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the rope comes out as opposed to the collar?

I'm teasing.... I have no clue!

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Dom/sub is just one element of BDSM - the middle letters - Bondage discipline, dominance submission, sadomasochism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the term BDSM covers a range of primarily sexual behaviour, Dom/sub comes under the D of that range.

I am not into BDSM at all, hate being restrained, or having a partner who can't participate, prefer sex (and life) to be an equal status, don't enjoy hurting people, and don't like being hurt.

Having said that, got no problem with holding someone down or being held down for a few minutes, quite happy to make or take suggestions, and like the sound of a slapped arse, at the right moment.

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Thats just like comparing a Cream Egg to Cadburys, or a Mondeo to Ford

D/s dynamics is a form of BDSM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the term BDSM covers a range of primarily sexual behaviour, Dom/sub comes under the D of that range.

I am not into BDSM at all, hate being restrained, or having a partner who can't participate, prefer sex (and life) to be an equal status, don't enjoy hurting people, and don't like being hurt.

Bdsm isn't for everyone and not always about pain Hun .its a lot more wider range than that.

I love being pinned down..... but hey ho earth to their own and all that.

Having said that, got no problem with holding someone down or being held down for a few minutes, quite happy to make or take suggestions, and like the sound of a slapped arse, at the right moment."

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I think the term BDSM covers a range of primarily sexual behaviour, Dom/sub comes under the D of that range.

I am not into BDSM at all, hate being restrained, or having a partner who can't participate, prefer sex (and life) to be an equal status, don't enjoy hurting people, and don't like being hurt.

Having said that, got no problem with holding someone down or being held down for a few minutes, quite happy to make or take suggestions, and like the sound of a slapped arse, at the right moment."

I think shows the inherent issues with discussions like this on a non lifestyle forum. Those who don't enjoy it or 'get it' don't understand the pleasure people can get from being tied up, forced to look on as others do enjoyable things to each other, spanked, caned, flogged so their are or tits are nice and glowing. They always see it as they are missing out on pleasure when they aren't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

See I'd put myself in the dom category, such as light spanking restraints and slightly forceful and maybe choking and controlling the situation, dose this mean I'm sadism masochism ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm seeking an owner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See I'd put myself in the dom category, such as light spanking restraints and slightly forceful and maybe choking and controlling the situation, dose this mean I'm sadism masochism ? "

There is much more to being a Dom than that, and no you're not sadistic ( likes inflicting pain) or masochistic ( likes receiving pain). You're just kinky but, that's ok.

There are lots of ways of enjoying a BDSM lifestyle and it's all about consent and respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm seeking an owner"

You probably would be better off looking in BDSM sites than here to be honest, while there is some cross over, there are also a lot who consider 50 shades as a training manual, I am pretty sure you wouldn't want to be owned by one of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

D/s is all about the mental connection,10% is the physical aspect,sadly some use this as an excuse to take the Domination too far,hence the increase in domestic abuse on women since 50 shades..BDSM on the other hand is all about being restrained and used for another's pleasure,and of which pain is involved...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"See I'd put myself in the dom category, such as light spanking restraints and slightly forceful and maybe choking and controlling the situation, dose this mean I'm sadism masochism ?

There is much more to being a Dom than that, and no you're not sadistic ( likes inflicting pain) or masochistic ( likes receiving pain). You're just kinky but, that's ok.

There are lots of ways of enjoying a BDSM lifestyle and it's all about consent and respect. "
yea I agree and I would like to be a more dominant and learn more aspects of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Replying to OP there is no difference there one of the same or as mentioned roles within the broad church of bdsm which is a catch all term for all fetishes .

Being dominant or a submissive is more about a natural state of mind rather than something you can learn outright... you would need to have a certain trait to be either.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Replying to OP there is no difference there one of the same or as mentioned roles within the broad church of bdsm which is a catch all term for all fetishes .

Being dominant or a submissive is more about a natural state of mind rather than something you can learn outright... you would need to have a certain trait to be either.

"
So it's more of a natural instinct within the person your saying??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The whole BDSM scene is full of labels. Describe yourself as one thing and there will be a stampede of people only too eager to tell you that you can't be because you don't follow their definition of what that means.

Call it what you like just enjoy your kink and have fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The whole BDSM scene is full of labels. Describe yourself as one thing and there will be a stampede of people only too eager to tell you that you can't be because you don't follow their definition of what that means.

Call it what you like just enjoy your kink and have fun"
about the best answer I've had so far mate nice1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what do we think? Where do the boundaries lie between these 2"

My uninformed definition of BDSM is about finding those bounderies and easing them outwards, that takes strength in the relationship and a lot of trust.

Bondage and No Strings Attached, is a difficult dynamic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"D/s is all about the mental connection,10% is the physical aspect,sadly some use this as an excuse to take the Domination too far,hence the increase in domestic abuse on women since 50 shades..BDSM on the other hand is all about being restrained and used for another's pleasure,and of which pain is involved..."

Although I would agree in regard to some forms of mental connection. I would with respect disagree with your other comments. The balance between mental and physical is a matter for the individual relationship and can differ from scene to scene. BDSM relationships are not cookie cutter and mutual respect is the ony hallmark of a successful relationship. How and what couples include as BDSM is entirely individual.

I would suggest that domestic abuse arises out of a bullying paternalistic culture than a misunderstanding of BDSM. Those in BDSM that abuse others do so either from ignorance and with education will correct their style or are bullies that inflict pain and dominate because they are bullies and can only be opposed and not helped.

As for OP'S question as most have said one is a subset of the other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"D/s is all about the mental connection,10% is the physical aspect,sadly some use this as an excuse to take the Domination too far,hence the increase in domestic abuse on women since 50 shades..BDSM on the other hand is all about being restrained and used for another's pleasure,and of which pain is involved...

Although I would agree in regard to some forms of mental connection. I would with respect disagree with your other comments. The balance between mental and physical is a matter for the individual relationship and can differ from scene to scene. BDSM relationships are not cookie cutter and mutual respect is the ony hallmark of a successful relationship. How and what couples include as BDSM is entirely individual.

I would suggest that domestic abuse arises out of a bullying paternalistic culture than a misunderstanding of BDSM. Those in BDSM that abuse others do so either from ignorance and with education will correct their style or are bullies that inflict pain and dominate because they are bullies and can only be opposed and not helped.

As for OP'S question as most have said one is a subset of the other.

"
cheers for that you seem to know your stuff on this subject, thank you

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