FabSwingers.com forum: Rent a Coffin

By *innamon! OP Woman
over a year ago

no matter

After a funeral this week I am starting to think and plan my own departure.

They can be exceptionally expensive so it got me thinking.

I was chatting to the Funeral director who has dealt with several family do's wanting to know if they actually burn the coffin.

I am far too mean to burn a box I would have paid several hundred pound for .. Ohhh no no.

so now looking into cheaper options. Finding a chippy to make me a pine or ply wood box maybe! I have seen an option where it is a shelf unit till it is needed .Yes I know I do have a warped sense of humour.

The next thought was Rent a coffin- you carried in it then removed before cremation and it gets used again, this appeals to me. It does have a special liner box obviously.

I didnt realise there were so many options. Cardboard ones which I had considered are more expensive than wood

ridiculous..

You can buy a construct yourself coffin too.

good idea

I am now thinking of a themed idea Burlesque or Rocky Horror. Feathers and net facinators ..

I will now work on a living will video

That way there will be no question when I go.

Will you plan your own do or will you leave it to others to pack you off. Do you have strong feelings about the way things should be done.?

Would anyone consider Rent a coffin ?

lol .. Spect this will go down like a lead balloon.

Oh by the way.I discovered a rocket that will send your ashes a mile high.. That did make me laugh as I have never managed to join that club in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want a natural burial. One of those where you're put in a meadow or woodland. They are usually very pretty and have benches where family members can go and sit and take in the view.

I don't want a fancy coffin, a cardboard one will suffice (if strong enough!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm planning on giving my body to Liverpool uni. After they have finished with me what's left they cremate n send to whomever is my next of Kin. You don't have a funeral but you do have a memorial service with all the other family's. Xxx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

How about a wickerwork one

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"I want a natural burial. One of those where you're put in a meadow or woodland. They are usually very pretty and have benches where family members can go and sit and take in the view.

I don't want a fancy coffin, a cardboard one will suffice (if strong enough!).

Very much like my own plans, which are all recorded with my will. It's a lovely way to have others leave you

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

My ex-grandmotherinlaw is buried in a natural site in Yorkshire , it's in the middle of the Dale with a railway on one side (steam trains regularly come past) and views of the three peaks in front... When she visited the place she walked around and said 'here please', trees are planted afterward... It's a stunning place...

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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago

Swindon

I don't want a fancy coffin, a cardboard one will suffice (if strong enough!).

Had an Uncle buried in a cardboard coffin, was a worry to see it at first but was absolutely fit for purpose

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I want an IKEA coffin... Hopefully with one last spare screw before I get put in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

MDF would do me. But funerals aren't for the deceased, they're for the remaining friends and family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about a wickerwork one

Pmsl

xxx

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By *innamon! OP Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Wicker and cardboard are more expensive than the cheap wood ones come in around 5 /7 hundred.

So no one would go for rent a coffin then ? Nor burn and rocketed into he skies. ??

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By *ex_OnTheBeachCouple
over a year ago

kent ( by the seaside )

My Nan and an uncle had the wicker coffins,

They looked quite good.

Not sure how I feel about a rented coffin,

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By *ortland51Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I sell coffins and funeral services.

I could maybe start offering a Fab discount.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

My body to go for organ donation then what's left to medical science. I don't want a funeral, just a fancy dress party with a really inappropriate play list

I want people laughing and shaking their heads, commenting on how typical of me the whole thing is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all about the image, though, isn't it? My dad hated the idea of spending lots of money on a funeral, but when he died and we had to decide everything, there was no way we could put him in a cheap coffin. I can just imagine what everyone would have said about it.

I'm going to put exact instructions for my cheap-ass funeral in my will so when I'm tossed out in a collection of old 5p bags no one can say shit to anyone else.

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By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow

I had a standard coffin painted pink for my daughter, I spent more on her biodegradable urn. My aunt had a water hyacinth wicker one. My dad was bog standard. Haven't got a clue what coffin I want but got my urn already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mum requested to be cremated so she could have her ashes scattered on the summit of Mt Snowdon ...

I don't know what I want but I do know I want as little fuss made as possible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cheapest casket on the books, and a 5 litre bottle of vodka for my ashes to be put in, spend my death soaked in vodka same as my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want a natural burial. One of those where you're put in a meadow or woodland. They are usually very pretty and have benches where family members can go and sit and take in the view.

I don't want a fancy coffin, a cardboard one will suffice (if strong enough!).

Such a great idea!

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

As I want to be cremated, I don't want money wasted on an expensive coffin, and would certainly consider renting a coffin if it was cheaper.

I do hope to be able to pay for my own funeral before I go but even at about £3000 minimum, it's a little out of my reach at the moment.

I know you can put plans in place but is there any way you can include something in your will to say you DON'T want people trying to add money for a more expensive coffin/service?

I"d much rather loved ones used the money on something for them.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad wants his ashes scattered under the Holly tree in cardingmill valley church Stretton. It's where his parents are. He took me up there a few years ago before his heart surgery. There's no stopping the old bugger now!

My mum wants to go back to the shores of Lake Geneva in the back garden of the un. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you seen the ones where they shove you in a sack and plant a sapling in there too so as you decompose you grow a tree?

I want that!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I,m being buried on top of my late husband, in a nice wooden coffin. I,m insured so it will come out of that. X

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

i like the idea of being fed to the lions in a zoo

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

After seeing this years ago, I want the full 100 denari treatment.....

https://youtu.be/6jJIvI4oGGI

I'm not kidding, I generally do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've already told my grown up children that I want a direct cremation. The last thing I want is my grandchildren looking at a wooden box.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any old box will do for me. Something that will burn nicely. Rent a coffin sounds good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sell coffins and funeral services.

I could maybe start offering a Fab discount. "

Sell them? You're nearly old enough to be in one Grampa!

I'll be up to choose my one. Mates rates remember

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By *innamon! OP Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"Any old box will do for me. Something that will burn nicely. Rent a coffin sounds good. "

Oh I am glad I'm not the only one

Obviously I was thinking more on the burning rather than the burying,but either way it is a waste of money to pay over £200, for me anyway. They even wrap you in wool sheets (Felt) biodegradeable at bloody £700 .. ridiculous. http://www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/the-ceremony/coffins/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm quite happy to go in the wheelie bin

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By *ortland51Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I sell coffins and funeral services.

I could maybe start offering a Fab discount.

Sell them? You're nearly old enough to be in one Grampa!

I'll be up to choose my one. Mates rates remember

Mates rates are only for folk who are nice to me.

Retail + 50% for you.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"I'm quite happy to go in the wheelie bin

would they take it though lol

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I've got my book of death on the go. So when I kick the bucket someone knows what to do with me. Having lived through funerals when no-one knew what to do made me not want my family/friends to be in that boat.

Morbid but necessary.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I have decided not to die, so no expense

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By *ubSirVient-DefinitionCouple
over a year ago

dukinfield

To be honest I won't car if I'm burned buried or left in the ally for the stray dogs and foxes. Why? Cos I'll be dead! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the sky burials

The idea appeals to me a lot

Basically after your funaral your taken into the hills and chopped up and left for the wild life to eat, the idea is its environmentally friendly, hyginic and your giving back to the wild life in return for what you eat of theirs and feed the next generation etc

Obviously not something we do in this country but if it was an option over here i would

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'd rent a coffin for what's left of me. I'll add it to my funeral instructions.

Mum had a policy which we took out when she went into care. It was the basic one (£3,500) and we were worried that the coffin might look ghastly when we arranged the funeral so the lovely vicar put a pall over it. The box wasn't as bad as we feared but the pall made me think we could have had anything under there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When lost mum she got the best money could buy ...me well stick e on the bonfire when I'm gone I'm gone ......but a pre paid funeral is the future so long as it's not tied to one firm (just in case they die )

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By *innamon! OP Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"I love the sky burials

The idea appeals to me a lot

Obviously not something we do in this country but if it was an option over here i would "

OMG never heard of that

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By *ordweaver2018Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

I want to be cryogenically frozen and then I can be revived when they find a way to cure old age!

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

I want to be buried in a Landrover. They can get you out of any hole, no problem.

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

What's wrong with a suitcase ?

You can get a large one from Sports Direct for like £40

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Keep getting bombarded by funeral plans. Can't turn on the telly without being told as over 50 should get your affairs in order: even Corrie's at it!

With my "babies" marrying and producing, another two due this year, I've decided to accept I'm not going to be around for ever so deal with it.

I'm not religious and want my life celebrated not mourned so I started looking into funeral plans and will prepay it, plan it and discuss it with my children, they wont find it morbid as my ex husband has already planned and paid for his funeral and given them copies of his will and half their inheritance.

I want a simple cremation and my ashes scattered on my son's grave.

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Bury me at dunns river falls in jamaica or in the country in jamaica be happy then

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

"I want a natural burial. One of those where you're put in a meadow or woodland. They are usually very pretty and have benches where family members can go and sit and take in the view.

I don't want a fancy coffin, a cardboard one will suffice (if strong enough!).

Such a great idea! "

With these ones everything has to be natural including any clothes the corpse is wearing...ie pure cotton only no polyester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My body to go for organ donation then what's left to medical science."

You can't do both. Most people don't realise that once organs are harvested or if there's a liar mortem then a body is useless for medical science

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The cheapest option is to have a cremation with no service. There are funeral directors who will arrange a cremation early morning, take the body direct and the cremation is done before the crematorium is even open. Costs are on the 100, don't even need a coffin.

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

"I want a natural burial. One of those where you're put in a meadow or woodland. They are usually very pretty and have benches where family members can go and sit and take in the view.

I don't want a fancy coffin, a cardboard one will suffice (if strong enough!).

Such a great idea!

With these ones everything has to be natural including any clothes the corpse is wearing...ie pure cotton only no polyester

Why worry about clothes ?

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

I can't remember the exact details but I seem to recall that it's a northern Scandinavian tradition to make your own coffin once you reach a certain age. You arrange for friends to come and hang out with you and to write messages to you on it. Until it's 'needed', you then use it as furniture.

I really like this idea (even though it seems a little morbid) as it let's you hear all of the sentiments that you'd miss when they're only said once you're gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The cheapest option is to have a cremation with no service. There are funeral directors who will arrange a cremation early morning, take the body direct and the cremation is done before the crematorium is even open. Costs are on the 100, don't even need a coffin."

That's worth knowing. Thanks!

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

"I want a natural burial. One of those where you're put in a meadow or woodland. They are usually very pretty and have benches where family members can go and sit and take in the view.

I don't want a fancy coffin, a cardboard one will suffice (if strong enough!).

Such a great idea!

With these ones everything has to be natural including any clothes the corpse is wearing...ie pure cotton only no polyester

Why worry about clothes ?

Because it's dignified

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had my way

I de say don't bother with the hearse - a van will do -

Cheapest coffin you can get, hopefully there will be a few mourners to bring me in and out of the church so won't need the men in the black suits

What I de really love is a 3 d hologram played at my funeral where I can say a few words

Cremated or buried what ever the cheapest.

And what ever money saved to have a free bar later on in the day once the funeral chasers have go home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was going to go down the cardboard route but surprised its dearer than wood

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

"i was going to go down the cardboard route but surprised its dearer than wood

Nip down to Curry's and get an empty fridge box. Done!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was going to go down the cardboard route but surprised its dearer than wood

Nip down to Curry's and get an empty fridge box. Done!

id be happy with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was going to go down the cardboard route but surprised its dearer than wood

Nip down to Curry's and get an empty fridge box. Done!

id be happy with that "

To be honest that is all a coffin is, 6' x 2' box in 9mm plywood is £10 a sheet in Wicks, add a couple of incontinence pads and a cloth cover, bit of beeswax as it is kinder to the environment than varnish , and you have a class coffin for £40, put the lid on the back, add a few shelves and you have a bookcase until you need it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love a viking funeral. Sadly not allowed.

Told my daughter to do whatever she wishes, I won't be there to care!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm planning on giving my body to Liverpool uni. After they have finished with me what's left they cremate n send to whomever is my next of Kin. You don't have a funeral but you do have a memorial service with all the other family's. Xxx"

I am donating my body too. Instructed my kids to deliver me in the back of a rented (please make sure it's swept out, I don't want my hair to be a mess) transit. Once done with and reduce to cremains, they are going on a pub crawl around Dublin(where I was born) with me in an urn. If they don't forget and leave me in some bar, I am to be chucked over-board on the ferry home.

The price of funerals is phenomenal and there are massive mark-ups on coffins and coffin handles. You can buy coffins on ebay and you can rent one for the day too. The body is in a cheaper cardboard (not that cheap though) or plywood inner and is removed behind the scenes to be cremated. If I can't go to the teaching hospital, I am having a natural burial, coffin made of woven willow or seagrass or similar.

Music if necessary, from Life of Brian -Always look on the bright side, Ding dong the witch is dead and lastly, (cheesy) Sinatra's I did it my way.

(Not that I have given I any thought!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm quite happy to go in the wheelie bin

would they take it though lol"

If the lid doesn't shut they won't. (not round here anyway).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly these are paupers funerals paid for by the council for people with no family or anyone to pay for the funeral. A funeral director is going to charge his fees even to do a first thing in the morning no family service. Cremation alone is about £600 as is a plot for burial. Then there's Dr fees, cost of hiring hearse, coffin ( specialist cardboard boxes still have to be paid for). Then there's the funeral directors charges to pay, they won't do it for nothing. You're looking at at least £1500 even for simple. I have worked in the trade, my late husband worked for a Funeral Director a.do have helped arrange funerals and done coroner's call outs. £100,s won't cover it. I was in the Shit when my husband died because he was a selfish bastard who wouldn't get insurance.

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By *atasha_DavidCouple
over a year ago

Slough

Funerals are for those left behind so I don't care, have an insurance plan to cover it so no load left.

Just hoping for a good death when it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no such thing as a paupers funeral. Even when local authorities pay there will still be a very minimalistic public service.

Numerous funeral directors are offering direct funerals, a couple specialise in them. They have agreements with crematoriums to cremate out if hours, costs are around a grand including basic coffin, transport (vans not hearses), body storage and the cost of getting cremation forms signed.

There is a huge market for this and a growing market for private burials because people are waking up that the funeral industry is big money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm quite happy to go in the wheelie bin

would they take it though lol

If the lid doesn't shut they won't. (not round here anyway).

id fit in the green one - and i guess thats the correct one to pop me into

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any old box will do for me. Something that will burn nicely. Rent a coffin sounds good.

Oh I am glad I'm not the only one

Crazy expensive.

I like Bike Monkey's comment about early morning cremation for £100. No service. Job done.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"I'm quite happy to go in the wheelie bin

would they take it though lol

If the lid doesn't shut they won't. (not round here anyway).

id fit in the green one - and i guess thats the correct one to pop me into

Blue ones are for recycling

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"i was going to go down the cardboard route but surprised its dearer than wood

Nip down to Curry's and get an empty fridge box. Done!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can sell your body to science I here it's a good price to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can sell your body to science I here it's a good price to."

No you can't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm quite happy to go in the wheelie bin

would they take it though lol

If the lid doesn't shut they won't. (not round here anyway).

id fit in the green one - and i guess thats the correct one to pop me into

Blue ones are for recycling

thats paper - organic matter in the green

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I want a natural burial. One of those where you're put in a meadow or woodland. They are usually very pretty and have benches where family members can go and sit and take in the view.

I don't want a fancy coffin, a cardboard one will suffice (if strong enough!)."

My Nan had this and had a wicker coffin. It looked like a gorgeous picnic basket.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MDF would do me. But funerals aren't for the deceased, they're for the remaining friends and family "

Careful, when that stuff burns the fumes are deadly...

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"MDF would do me. But funerals aren't for the deceased, they're for the remaining friends and family

Careful, when that stuff burns the fumes are deadly...

One would wake up and find themself dead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can sell your body to science I here it's a good price to.

No you can't. "

No you really can't. You have to gift it and if they don't have space or need it when you shuffle off, you have to have a contingency plan. Maybe in the USA where they pay people for blood and semen (and probably organs too)... But defo not in the UK.

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