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"Watch out. You will get loads of fellas writing to you now, because you have admitted to sending replies. ( I do when time allows and the message is well written, but I never mention the fact) ssshhhh. "I am afraid I do normally delete if they are not what I am asking for, it just avoids nasty comebacks better than any other strategy - but I was touched by his sweetness and wanted to encourage him - I wish more of them would take that approach. | |||
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"the last time I opened up my box to 'young men' all I got was 'great rack...fancy a fuck ' "Funnily enough I find the older guys are often the worst offenders, like the one this morning with a 'poke yer eye out' avatar and nothing but four 'poke yer eye out' cock pics on his profile. You think they'd know better by the age of fifty!  | |||
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"the last time I opened up my box to 'young men' all I got was 'great rack...fancy a fuck '
Funnily enough I find the older guys are often the worst offenders, like the one this morning with a 'poke yer eye out' avatar and nothing but four 'poke yer eye out' cock pics on his profile. You think they'd know better by the age of fifty! "I hear ya! but in response to your actual post, I always respond to messages, although many of them are followed by a block to discourage conversation  | |||
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"the last time I opened up my box to 'young men' all I got was 'great rack...fancy a fuck '
Funnily enough I find the older guys are often the worst offenders, like the one this morning with a 'poke yer eye out' avatar and nothing but four 'poke yer eye out' cock pics on his profile. You think they'd know better by the age of fifty!
I hear ya!
but in response to your actual post, I always respond to messages, although many of them are followed by a block to discourage conversation "Good for you. I don't block, I just delete and rarely have a problem. But if I am so outraged I feel the need to say something stern in response then I block! | |||
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"Do I classify maself as a young buck to you Ms Frisky "You are a veritable toyboy! | |||
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"I must be honest, getting a reply does mean a lot! Like I genuinely take the time to read the profile and write a message (not just some copy and paste). "  | |||
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Just goes to show that a needle can be found in a haystack | |||
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"googled the word "reply". had no idea what one was "Awww lol!! | |||
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"Do I classify maself as a young buck to you Ms Frisky
You are a veritable toyboy! "Well that's a turn up for the books, I've never been called veritable before | |||
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"Bitch ignored me "Haha, you accusing me you lying git? | |||
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"Bitch ignored me
Haha, you accusing me you lying git? "Who me | |||
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"Bitch ignored me
Haha, you accusing me you lying git?
Who me "Yeah right, play the innocent..... | |||
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"You know you e just hinted that you read your messages. And you also reply. Your inbox is now full. "It's OK - only the nice young men read the forums! | |||
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"With my maths and the formula I put together (Mxf/(m-d2) ) with the ration of men, take into account how many the op would be attracted to, and also the fact some will go unlos and that mail will constantly arrive. I conclude. I should be next to get a reply. "See- the glass is half full already!! | |||
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"Awww, some polite young man sent me a sweet message, so I thought I would at least reply to say that I was sorry, Iwas not looking for young bucks right now.....and he said I made his day! So here's a shout out to all the gorgeous young men sending out dozens of messages in the vain hope of ever getting a reply even if it's no......take heart all of you - we the undersigned wish you luck in your quest!!!! "Maybe even I count as a young buck in your world, if that's not too cheeky or rude to say | |||
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"I know I'm a cynical arsehole but really, if getting a polite no thanks from a lady on a swinging site really "made his day" he needs to evaluate his life choices "Harsh but fair! | |||
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"I know I'm a cynical arsehole but really, if getting a polite no thanks from a lady on a swinging site really "made his day" he needs to evaluate his life choices "I'm sure it was just a figure of speech, but the male ego is a delicate little flower lol, they need nurture!!  | |||
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"Awww, some polite young man sent me a sweet message, so I thought I would at least reply to say that I was sorry, Iwas not looking for young bucks right now.....and he said I made his day! So here's a shout out to all the gorgeous young men sending out dozens of messages in the vain hope of ever getting a reply even if it's no......take heart all of you - we the undersigned wish you luck in your quest!!!!
Maybe even I count as a young buck in your world, if that's not too cheeky or rude to say "Nah, you're over the watershed hun, you're just fair game! | |||
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"Ha ha aww bless What about us jolly old chaps who find most block our age group "Bless you too, as long as you don't have nothing but 'poke yer eye out' cock pics or action pics on your profile! | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! " Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's." Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? | |||
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"the last time I opened up my box to 'young men' all I got was 'great rack...fancy a fuck '
Funnily enough I find the older guys are often the worst offenders, like the one this morning with a 'poke yer eye out' avatar and nothing but four 'poke yer eye out' cock pics on his profile. You think they'd know better by the age of fifty! "We never learn...watch your eye | |||
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"Awww, some polite young man sent me a sweet message, so I thought I would at least reply to say that I was sorry, Iwas not looking for young bucks right now.....and he said I made his day! So here's a shout out to all the gorgeous young men sending out dozens of messages in the vain hope of ever getting a reply even if it's no......take heart all of you - we the undersigned wish you luck in your quest!!!!
Maybe even I count as a young buck in your world, if that's not too cheeky or rude to say
Nah, you're over the watershed hun, you're just fair game! "Ooooh I like the idea of being fair game | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? " Yep. | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's." Why do people treat the FAQs on this site as if the descended down to owners of Fab on a marble tablet from heaven? | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Why do people treat the FAQs on this site as if the descended down to owners of Fab on a marble tablet from heaven? " Haha | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep." So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. | |||
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"Your the first female I've heard of replying to a single male on here I no of one in 2007 but she is no longer on site If anyone else has replied to a single male let me no please " Loads have replied to me,but yhen again loads havnt | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep. So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. " Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep." And unfortunately even that gets abuse in return  | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep. So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. " What exactly is the difference between "answer the message you want to answer/don't speak to people you don't want to" and what's currently in the FAQs? If people are ignoring those they don't want to speak to they are literally doing what you've suggested. Personally even if it stated in the FAQs that not replying was rude as fuck I still wouldn't do it. It's a massive waste of my time and theirs if I'm sending messages back to people I have no intention whatsoever of ever fucking. | |||
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"Awww, some polite young man sent me a sweet message, so I thought I would at least reply to say that I was sorry, Iwas not looking for young bucks right now.....and he said I made his day! So here's a shout out to all the gorgeous young men sending out dozens of messages in the vain hope of ever getting a reply even if it's no......take heart all of you - we the undersigned wish you luck in your quest!!!! "
That's all some of us guys would like , just a sorry but no , much better than read and delete or block , xxx
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"Awww, some polite young man sent me a sweet message, so I thought I would at least reply to say that I was sorry, Iwas not looking for young bucks right now.....and he said I made his day! So here's a shout out to all the gorgeous young men sending out dozens of messages in the vain hope of ever getting a reply even if it's no......take heart all of you - we the undersigned wish you luck in your quest!!!!
That's all some of us guys would like , just a sorry but no , much better than read and delete or block , xxx
"Why is it better? | |||
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didn't think i was that bad
Anyway, a simple no thank you is much better then nothing at all. I can imagine some people don't take them as well and that can probably be pretty off putting.
But when you actually put effort into making everyone's message different and unique, being ignored is very disheartening | |||
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"I've stopped sending out messages, i sent one to a woman on here and got to talking to them, once i sent them a face picture they blocked me
didn't think i was that bad
Anyway, a simple no thank you is much better then nothing at all. I can imagine some people don't take them as well and that can probably be pretty off putting.
But when you actually put effort into making everyone's message different and unique, being ignored is very disheartening "Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. When I message people myself (which I do) it's crap logging in, seeing a response from someone I fancy and then reading it and they're saying no. I'd FAR rather they just delete it. | |||
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"I feel I should expand on my point... What I should have said is that I know that women get hundreds, if not thousands of messages, and replying to all those they're not interested in would be a waste of time... But, if a woman has something such as "Write 'Pumpernickel' in the header to ensure a reply" and I take the time to read a profile, see if we match accordingly, and take the time to tailor a message, including the headline, only to get ignored... Thats what I find rude. "Isn't reading a profile, seeing if you match accordingly and taking time to tailor a message literally the bare minimum people should be doing anyway though? I really don't see the rudeness in ignoring someone on that basis. | |||
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"I've stopped sending out messages, i sent one to a woman on here and got to talking to them, once i sent them a face picture they blocked me
didn't think i was that bad
Anyway, a simple no thank you is much better then nothing at all. I can imagine some people don't take them as well and that can probably be pretty off putting.
But when you actually put effort into making everyone's message different and unique, being ignored is very disheartening
Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. When I message people myself (which I do) it's crap logging in, seeing a response from someone I fancy and then reading it and they're saying no. I'd FAR rather they just delete it. "Imagine it was real life, you go upto someone start talking and they just blank you and walk off. But rather they said thanks but no thanks. I know its online but I view it as a similar situation And I know women get 100's of a messages a day blah blah blah I just prefer a no thank you to nothing at all | |||
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"I've stopped sending out messages, i sent one to a woman on here and got to talking to them, once i sent them a face picture they blocked me
didn't think i was that bad
Anyway, a simple no thank you is much better then nothing at all. I can imagine some people don't take them as well and that can probably be pretty off putting.
But when you actually put effort into making everyone's message different and unique, being ignored is very disheartening
Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. When I message people myself (which I do) it's crap logging in, seeing a response from someone I fancy and then reading it and they're saying no. I'd FAR rather they just delete it. "Ditto. l prefer that. l don't anymore time wasted. lt's irritating when they want to talk to you. | |||
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"I've stopped sending out messages, i sent one to a woman on here and got to talking to them, once i sent them a face picture they blocked me
didn't think i was that bad
Anyway, a simple no thank you is much better then nothing at all. I can imagine some people don't take them as well and that can probably be pretty off putting.
But when you actually put effort into making everyone's message different and unique, being ignored is very disheartening
Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. When I message people myself (which I do) it's crap logging in, seeing a response from someone I fancy and then reading it and they're saying no. I'd FAR rather they just delete it.
Imagine it was real life, you go upto someone start talking and they just blank you and walk off. But rather they said thanks but no thanks.
I know its online but I view it as a similar situation
And I know women get 100's of a messages a day blah blah blah
I just prefer a no thank you to nothing at all"Most women don't get that many though. | |||
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"I've stopped sending out messages, i sent one to a woman on here and got to talking to them, once i sent them a face picture they blocked me
didn't think i was that bad
Anyway, a simple no thank you is much better then nothing at all. I can imagine some people don't take them as well and that can probably be pretty off putting.
But when you actually put effort into making everyone's message different and unique, being ignored is very disheartening
Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. When I message people myself (which I do) it's crap logging in, seeing a response from someone I fancy and then reading it and they're saying no. I'd FAR rather they just delete it.
Imagine it was real life, you go upto someone start talking and they just blank you and walk off. But rather they said thanks but no thanks.
I know its online but I view it as a similar situation
And I know women get 100's of a messages a day blah blah blah
I just prefer a no thank you to nothing at all
Most women don't get that many though."I know, but that's beside the point. I still prefer a no thank you to getting ignored or blocked | |||
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"I feel I should expand on my point... What I should have said is that I know that women get hundreds, if not thousands of messages, and replying to all those they're not interested in would be a waste of time... But, if a woman has something such as "Write 'Pumpernickel' in the header to ensure a reply" and I take the time to read a profile, see if we match accordingly, and take the time to tailor a message, including the headline, only to get ignored... Thats what I find rude.
Isn't reading a profile, seeing if you match accordingly and taking time to tailor a message literally the bare minimum people should be doing anyway though? I really don't see the rudeness in ignoring someone on that basis. "Then why put the 'ensures a reply' on your profile if you're not going to take the time to bother reading or replying? | |||
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"Awww, some polite young man sent me a sweet message, so I thought I would at least reply to say that I was sorry, Iwas not looking for young bucks right now.....and he said I made his day! So here's a shout out to all the gorgeous young men sending out dozens of messages in the vain hope of ever getting a reply even if it's no......take heart all of you - we the undersigned wish you luck in your quest!!!!
That's all some of us guys would like , just a sorry but no , much better than read and delete or block , xxx
Why is it better?"It's better because at least the meaaage has been read and the recipient has acknowledged the message and has had the decency to reply and not be an rude or ignorant person !!! Sometime it's not all about the sexy and meet , sometime people put up statuses asking for help or information about something and when I message them nd they read and delete that pisses me off too !!! | |||
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"I feel I should expand on my point... What I should have said is that I know that women get hundreds, if not thousands of messages, and replying to all those they're not interested in would be a waste of time... But, if a woman has something such as "Write 'Pumpernickel' in the header to ensure a reply" and I take the time to read a profile, see if we match accordingly, and take the time to tailor a message, including the headline, only to get ignored... Thats what I find rude.
Isn't reading a profile, seeing if you match accordingly and taking time to tailor a message literally the bare minimum people should be doing anyway though? I really don't see the rudeness in ignoring someone on that basis.
Then why put the 'ensures a reply' on your profile if you're not going to take the time to bother reading or replying? "So very true , or will least message box !!! | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep. So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. " Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. | |||
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"I've stopped sending out messages, i sent one to a woman on here and got to talking to them, once i sent them a face picture they blocked me
didn't think i was that bad
Anyway, a simple no thank you is much better then nothing at all. I can imagine some people don't take them as well and that can probably be pretty off putting.
But when you actually put effort into making everyone's message different and unique, being ignored is very disheartening
Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. When I message people myself (which I do) it's crap logging in, seeing a response from someone I fancy and then reading it and they're saying no. I'd FAR rather they just delete it. "Thats what you'd prefer though. Try to reading what others would like. | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep. So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. " If there inbox is full of "fancy a fuck" "great tits" or "piss on me" then yea I would expect them to be ignored due to the fact its rude and not very clever. But if someone writes a message which they've tried to be nice and/or funny then a message back isn't a big ask. I don't think so anyway, but hey I could be wrong | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks " Not angst, just my opinion | |||
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"I've stopped sending out messages, i sent one to a woman on here and got to talking to them, once i sent them a face picture they blocked me
didn't think i was that bad
Anyway, a simple no thank you is much better then nothing at all. I can imagine some people don't take them as well and that can probably be pretty off putting.
But when you actually put effort into making everyone's message different and unique, being ignored is very disheartening
Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. When I message people myself (which I do) it's crap logging in, seeing a response from someone I fancy and then reading it and they're saying no. I'd FAR rather they just delete it.
Thats what you'd prefer though. Try to reading what others would like. "I don't give a flying fuck what others would like, they're deluding themselves if they think they'd actually be happier with an inbox full of polite rejections. | |||
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"I feel I should expand on my point... What I should have said is that I know that women get hundreds, if not thousands of messages, and replying to all those they're not interested in would be a waste of time... But, if a woman has something such as "Write 'Pumpernickel' in the header to ensure a reply" and I take the time to read a profile, see if we match accordingly, and take the time to tailor a message, including the headline, only to get ignored... Thats what I find rude.
Isn't reading a profile, seeing if you match accordingly and taking time to tailor a message literally the bare minimum people should be doing anyway though? I really don't see the rudeness in ignoring someone on that basis.
Then why put the 'ensures a reply' on your profile if you're not going to take the time to bother reading or replying? "Ah yes, fair point I missed that bit. I'd never put that on my profile because I have no intention of either reading or replying. But that's also why I block anyone from messaging me | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks " l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep. So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. " I don't get millions of messages but I'm still not replying if I'm not interested. It's a point of principle not of volume. | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep. So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. If there inbox is full of "fancy a fuck" "great tits" or "piss on me" then yea I would expect them to be ignored due to the fact its rude and not very clever. But if someone writes a message which they've tried to be nice and/or funny then a message back isn't a big ask. I don't think so anyway, but hey I could be wrong" I agree. I wish there was opportuniies for women to reply with the same respect as how they were contacted (i know they have too much mail) A reply button has been suggested before and I think it's a great idea. But we need two reply buttons 1 no thanks. 2 no, your a nob. | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. " My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree | |||
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"Your the first female I've heard of replying to a single male on here I no of one in 2007 but she is no longer on site If anyone else has replied to a single male let me no please Loads have replied to me,but yhen again loads havnt" they must've liked your sock | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep. So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. I don't get millions of messages but I'm still not replying if I'm not interested. It's a point of principle not of volume." That's fine. No ones asking you to. Some of us are just saying we prefer a reply. No big deal | |||
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| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep. So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. I don't get millions of messages but I'm still not replying if I'm not interested. It's a point of principle not of volume. That's fine. No ones asking you to. Some of us are just saying we prefer a reply. No big deal" And I'm just saying I prefer a delete. But apparently that doesn't count. I'll keep on treating others as I'd like to be treated - which is not wasting my time with pointless rejection messages. If that's alright with you lot. | |||
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"Wondering if Fabs software developers, have considered, when anyone is opening an email - gave them the option of pressing "Not for Me" and it auto deletes and advises sender "not for me". Similar, to pressing the delete button anyway, yet would advise all, in a split second, what everyone thought, rather than the "Ghosting" scenario..... " I think I'd find this annoying. Imagine going onto a profile which says "No one liners" or "no copy and paste message" and then getting rejected with a one liner copy and pasted message
Who knows, might be a good idea | |||
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"Wondering if Fabs software developers, have considered, when anyone is opening an email - gave them the option of pressing "Not for Me" and it auto deletes and advises sender "not for me". Similar, to pressing the delete button anyway, yet would advise all, in a split second, what everyone thought, rather than the "Ghosting" scenario..... I think I'd find this annoying. Imagine going onto a profile which says "No one liners" or "no copy and paste message" and then getting rejected with a one liner copy and pasted message
Who knows, might be a good idea"Shame you don't fit my criteria | |||
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" I agree. I wish there was opportuniies for women to reply with the same respect as how they were contacted (i know they have too much mail) A reply button has been suggested before and I think it's a great idea. But we need two reply buttons 1 no thanks. 2 no, your a nob. "Apologies - pretty much said the same thing as you. Just getting hang of the forum! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wondering if Fabs software developers, have considered, when anyone is opening an email - gave them the option of pressing "Not for Me" and it auto deletes and advises sender "not for me". Similar, to pressing the delete button anyway, yet would advise all, in a split second, what everyone thought, rather than the "Ghosting" scenario..... I think I'd find this annoying. Imagine going onto a profile which says "No one liners" or "no copy and paste message" and then getting rejected with a one liner copy and pasted message
Who knows, might be a good idea
Shame you don't fit my criteria "Feel free to broaden your horizons, who knows, may work out quite well
and if you message me I promise to reply back because thats how I am  | |||
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" I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. I don't get millions of messages but I'm still not replying if I'm not interested. It's a point of principle not of volume." I'm confused. You won't reply because you don't have to? Is that right? I agree, you can deal with mail however you want. But really? Is that how you prefer it? Or do you think their should be a better way to address the more polite gents on here? | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree" you can have your opinion, but those of us who dont reply are not mannerless just because you think so. not is it polite for you to insult us for using the site tools. I'm not going to reply, and risk abuse/another message back asking why not?/another message back thanking me for saying no ( ) which then means that person can get past my filters if I change them....
I didn't ask them to mail me, I'm clear on my profile on what I'm looking for, so if they didnt bother to read it or mailed when the dont match they've wasted their own time, but they're not wasting mine.  | |||
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"The only thing that would make me even contemplate starting to reply to people I'm not interested in is if we had the ability to reset filters. As it is, if I send that "polite/manners cost nothing/not a stuck up bitch" reply, that person can get through my filters forever more unless I block them. And blocking people causes even more tortured forum angst than deleting." How would they get through in the first place if you had filters? | |||
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" I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. I don't get millions of messages but I'm still not replying if I'm not interested. It's a point of principle not of volume. I'm confused. You won't reply because you don't have to? Is that right? I agree, you can deal with mail however you want. But really? Is that how you prefer it? Or do you think their should be a better way to address the more polite gents on here? " I won't reply because I don't want to. Because when I message someone, if they're not interested then I prefer it to be deleted. And I do my own messaging. As I've already said, it's shit logging in and seeing messages from people you fancy and then they're rejections. I'd rather bypass that. It's got nothing to do with whether someone is polite or not. Politeness has never made me want to fuck someone. | |||
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"The only thing that would make me even contemplate starting to reply to people I'm not interested in is if we had the ability to reset filters. As it is, if I send that "polite/manners cost nothing/not a stuck up bitch" reply, that person can get through my filters forever more unless I block them. And blocking people causes even more tortured forum angst than deleting. How would they get through in the first place if you had filters?" Because I might not have had them on at the time. I have them on now, I didn't before Christmas. | |||
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"The only thing that would make me even contemplate starting to reply to people I'm not interested in is if we had the ability to reset filters. As it is, if I send that "polite/manners cost nothing/not a stuck up bitch" reply, that person can get through my filters forever more unless I block them. And blocking people causes even more tortured forum angst than deleting." I never knew that about filters. Again. It's the a holes that spoil things. | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree you can have your opinion, but those of us who dont reply are not mannerless just because you think so. not is it polite for you to insult us for using the site tools. I'm not going to reply, and risk abuse/another message back asking why not?/another message back thanking me for saying no ( ) which then means that person can get past my filters if I change them....
I didn't ask them to mail me, I'm clear on my profile on what I'm looking for, so if they didnt bother to read it or mailed when the dont match they've wasted their own time, but they're not wasting mine. "Take a step back a second. I never once said it was mannerless and I as far as I'm concerned, I haven't insulted anyone. My point during the whole of this conversation is that my personal preference is to get a "no thank you" to nothing at all. I don't see why everyone is getting there back up about it. If someone else is calling you mannerless and insulting you then that's between you and them, not me. I like to send unique messages to people to try and stand out and if i get a "no thank you" I leave them alone, if i get nothing I still leave them alone. But the fact remains that ME personally would prefer a no thank you. | |||
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" I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. I don't get millions of messages but I'm still not replying if I'm not interested. It's a point of principle not of volume. I'm confused. You won't reply because you don't have to? Is that right? I agree, you can deal with mail however you want. But really? Is that how you prefer it? Or do you think their should be a better way to address the more polite gents on here? I won't reply because I don't want to. Because when I message someone, if they're not interested then I prefer it to be deleted. And I do my own messaging. As I've already said, it's shit logging in and seeing messages from people you fancy and then they're rejections. I'd rather bypass that. It's got nothing to do with whether someone is polite or not. Politeness has never made me want to fuck someone." I have a bag full of jokes right now after that last line you just wrote. But i resist.b .
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" I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. I don't get millions of messages but I'm still not replying if I'm not interested. It's a point of principle not of volume. I'm confused. You won't reply because you don't have to? Is that right? I agree, you can deal with mail however you want. But really? Is that how you prefer it? Or do you think their should be a better way to address the more polite gents on here? I won't reply because I don't want to. Because when I message someone, if they're not interested then I prefer it to be deleted. And I do my own messaging. As I've already said, it's shit logging in and seeing messages from people you fancy and then they're rejections. I'd rather bypass that. It's got nothing to do with whether someone is polite or not. Politeness has never made me want to fuck someone. I have a bag full of jokes right now after that last line you just wrote. But i resist.b .
"Neither has jokes. | |||
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" I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. I don't get millions of messages but I'm still not replying if I'm not interested. It's a point of principle not of volume. I'm confused. You won't reply because you don't have to? Is that right? I agree, you can deal with mail however you want. But really? Is that how you prefer it? Or do you think their should be a better way to address the more polite gents on here? I won't reply because I don't want to. Because when I message someone, if they're not interested then I prefer it to be deleted. And I do my own messaging. As I've already said, it's shit logging in and seeing messages from people you fancy and then they're rejections. I'd rather bypass that. It's got nothing to do with whether someone is polite or not. Politeness has never made me want to fuck someone. I have a bag full of jokes right now after that last line you just wrote. But i resist.b .
Neither has jokes." | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree you can have your opinion, but those of us who dont reply are not mannerless just because you think so. not is it polite for you to insult us for using the site tools. I'm not going to reply, and risk abuse/another message back asking why not?/another message back thanking me for saying no ( ) which then means that person can get past my filters if I change them....
I didn't ask them to mail me, I'm clear on my profile on what I'm looking for, so if they didnt bother to read it or mailed when the dont match they've wasted their own time, but they're not wasting mine.
Take a step back a second. I never once said it was mannerless and I as far as I'm concerned, I haven't insulted anyone.
My point during the whole of this conversation is that my personal preference is to get a "no thank you" to nothing at all. I don't see why everyone is getting there back up about it.
If someone else is calling you mannerless and insulting you then that's between you and them, not me.
I like to send unique messages to people to try and stand out and if i get a "no thank you" I leave them alone, if i get nothing I still leave them alone. But the fact remains that ME personally would prefer a no thank you. "nope your right it was danjan not you apologies.
I do not understand why anyone would want to log on to messages in their inbox that just say no thanks?! thats implicit in a no response. when you reply to someone they're then past your filters. It's just easier, in many ways to skip past. | |||
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"The only thing that would make me even contemplate starting to reply to people I'm not interested in is if we had the ability to reset filters. As it is, if I send that "polite/manners cost nothing/not a stuck up bitch" reply, that person can get through my filters forever more unless I block them. And blocking people causes even more tortured forum angst than deleting. How would they get through in the first place if you had filters? Because I might not have had them on at the time. I have them on now, I didn't before Christmas." That comes back to the "auto reply button" Same effort required to say "No Thanks" or "Delete" Fabs already have the filters in place, if anyone try's to message someone, too old, too young, etc to stop them messaging - so it could be easily done to say "you messaged this person, you were knocked back/declined/you have halitosis/you look like a bushpig" you cannot message them again. just a thought ..... | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree you can have your opinion, but those of us who dont reply are not mannerless just because you think so. not is it polite for you to insult us for using the site tools. I'm not going to reply, and risk abuse/another message back asking why not?/another message back thanking me for saying no ( ) which then means that person can get past my filters if I change them....
I didn't ask them to mail me, I'm clear on my profile on what I'm looking for, so if they didnt bother to read it or mailed when the dont match they've wasted their own time, but they're not wasting mine.
Take a step back a second. I never once said it was mannerless and I as far as I'm concerned, I haven't insulted anyone.
My point during the whole of this conversation is that my personal preference is to get a "no thank you" to nothing at all. I don't see why everyone is getting there back up about it.
If someone else is calling you mannerless and insulting you then that's between you and them, not me.
I like to send unique messages to people to try and stand out and if i get a "no thank you" I leave them alone, if i get nothing I still leave them alone. But the fact remains that ME personally would prefer a no thank you.
nope your right it was danjan not you apologies.
I do not understand why anyone would want to log on to messages in their inbox that just say no thanks?! thats implicit in a no response. when you reply to someone they're then past your filters. It's just easier, in many ways to skip past."That's ok, but my blood pressure did spike a little bit there
Don't forget its not just you not replying, chances are its everyone woman in my sent messages box. I think it's a lot better to have an inbox polite "no thank you" messages then to a sent mail box full of "deleted" especially if they have also blocked you.
I get the filters don't work once you reply and it's a shame that some people on here have given you the mind set of "I dont want anymore messages from them just in case" because they really have ruined it for the people such as me who know how to take a rejection and don't expect you to drop your pants on command | |||
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"The only thing that would make me even contemplate starting to reply to people I'm not interested in is if we had the ability to reset filters. As it is, if I send that "polite/manners cost nothing/not a stuck up bitch" reply, that person can get through my filters forever more unless I block them. And blocking people causes even more tortured forum angst than deleting. How would they get through in the first place if you had filters? Because I might not have had them on at the time. I have them on now, I didn't before Christmas. That comes back to the "auto reply button" Same effort required to say "No Thanks" or "Delete" Fabs already have the filters in place, if anyone try's to message someone, too old, too young, etc to stop them messaging - so it could be easily done to say "you messaged this person, you were knocked back/declined/you have halitosis/you look like a bushpig" you cannot message them again. just a thought ..... "thats not in place though. we are just using the site tools in place. | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. " My comment wasnt about you. Thanks for thinking it was though
If people have such an issue with the FAQs perhaps someone wants to take it up with the site owners
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My comment wasnt about you. Thanks for thinking it was though
If people have such an issue with the FAQs perhaps someone wants to take it up with the site owners
"lknow you weren't. | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree you can have your opinion, but those of us who dont reply are not mannerless just because you think so. not is it polite for you to insult us for using the site tools. I'm not going to reply, and risk abuse/another message back asking why not?/another message back thanking me for saying no ( ) which then means that person can get past my filters if I change them....
I didn't ask them to mail me, I'm clear on my profile on what I'm looking for, so if they didnt bother to read it or mailed when the dont match they've wasted their own time, but they're not wasting mine. "I don't think the message is getting through to some I'm afraid. Maybe one such gentleman would offer to administrate a woman's inbox for the day and see how they get on. | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree you can have your opinion, but those of us who dont reply are not mannerless just because you think so. not is it polite for you to insult us for using the site tools. I'm not going to reply, and risk abuse/another message back asking why not?/another message back thanking me for saying no ( ) which then means that person can get past my filters if I change them....
I didn't ask them to mail me, I'm clear on my profile on what I'm looking for, so if they didnt bother to read it or mailed when the dont match they've wasted their own time, but they're not wasting mine.
I don't think the message is getting through to some I'm afraid.
Maybe one such gentleman would offer to administrate a woman's inbox for the day and see how they get on."my filters are pretty narrow so only about 20, 90% from a skim read of the text without opening, will be blocked when I read mail later. | |||
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"The only thing that would make me even contemplate starting to reply to people I'm not interested in is if we had the ability to reset filters. As it is, if I send that "polite/manners cost nothing/not a stuck up bitch" reply, that person can get through my filters forever more unless I block them. And blocking people causes even more tortured forum angst than deleting. How would they get through in the first place if you had filters? Because I might not have had them on at the time. I have them on now, I didn't before Christmas. That comes back to the "auto reply button" Same effort required to say "No Thanks" or "Delete" Fabs already have the filters in place, if anyone try's to message someone, too old, too young, etc to stop them messaging - so it could be easily done to say "you messaged this person, you were knocked back/declined/you have halitosis/you look like a bushpig" you cannot message them again. just a thought .....
thats not in place though. we are just using the site tools in place. "yes, I should have added that maybe it's something the site owners could or should, consider. | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree you can have your opinion, but those of us who dont reply are not mannerless just because you think so. not is it polite for you to insult us for using the site tools. I'm not going to reply, and risk abuse/another message back asking why not?/another message back thanking me for saying no ( ) which then means that person can get past my filters if I change them....
I didn't ask them to mail me, I'm clear on my profile on what I'm looking for, so if they didnt bother to read it or mailed when the dont match they've wasted their own time, but they're not wasting mine.
I don't think the message is getting through to some I'm afraid.
Maybe one such gentleman would offer to administrate a woman's inbox for the day and see how they get on. my filters are pretty narrow so only about 20, 90% from a skim read of the text without opening, will be blocked when I read mail later. "How can they even tell if they fancy you though? You have no pics. | |||
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"If I get a 'No thanks' reply, (which is rarely... Down to women not having time, (Or manners), not my good looks or sexual prowess) I always thank them for their time and have a good day/weekend/happy fabbing. I have manners, Momma didn't raise no fool! Here we go again. No reply does not indicate lack of manners. Read the FAQ's. Do you ever reply and say 'no thank you'? Yep. So you fall back on the FAQs and say by not replying it's a polite no. Sometimes I expect it does, but some time I don't. As the guys would probably think, did she politely ignore my mail. Or did she ignore it becuase i pm an arrogant ass who's waiting for someone better. (I'm not directing any of this at you.) I still think there should be a better way of helping make this place more friendly. The FAQ should make it clearer to the everyone. Be polite answer the message you want to answer. Don't speak to people you don't want to. There's too much onus on ignoring people. Not speaking to people is ignoring them. No reply is a reply but there's a lot of dummy spitting and 'manners cost nothing' all over the forums about perceived lack of them. Maybe I worded my point wrong. Maybe I'm trying hard to see it from the point of view of the guys that are spitting their dummy's out. But. I'm not in a possition to try and see it from a persons perspective that concederá replying would be a complete waste of my time. I.e. A woman who gets millions of mail. If there inbox is full of "fancy a fuck" "great tits" or "piss on me" then yea I would expect them to be ignored due to the fact its rude and not very clever. But if someone writes a message which they've tried to be nice and/or funny then a message back isn't a big ask. I don't think so anyway, but hey I could be wrong I agree. I wish there was opportuniies for women to reply with the same respect as how they were contacted (i know they have too much mail) A reply button has been suggested before and I think it's a great idea. But we need two reply buttons 1 no thanks. 2 no, your a nob. "Haha yes!!!.....But I think the first should say 'Thanks, but no thanks' - just to be polite. | |||
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"Awww, some polite young man sent me a sweet message, so I thought I would at least reply to say that I was sorry, Iwas not looking for young bucks right now.....and he said I made his day! So here's a shout out to all the gorgeous young men sending out dozens of messages in the vain hope of ever getting a reply even if it's no......take heart all of you - we the undersigned wish you luck in your quest!!!! "To be honest it's just so nice to get a reply, even if it's just saying that you're not interested, the fact that you took the time to tell us is a nice feeling | |||
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"I might start sending messages saying no thanks to random men. Why wait for them to message me first "I think you'll find that's called Tinder | |||
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"I might start sending messages saying no thanks to random men. Why wait for them to message me first
I think you'll find that's called Tinder "But they don't know you've said no thanks on Tinder, on here,they'll get a personal message from me saying I'm not interested | |||
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" Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better." Aww c'mon, everyone wants to have their existance as a human being acknowledged every now and then!! I put up the thread because I can see their point of view and I think it's a shame that anyone has to go through a disheartening experience like being ignored day after day. However, I obviously see the female perspective too - my own experience, gleaned by trial and error, is the best way to avoid nasty comebacks is to just delete if there is no match - I wish it were not so. And yes, I reserve the right not to reply to anyone who does not fulfill the criteria I have said I am looking for - surely that's axiomatic? Yes, I feel for the nice guys. Yes, I try and answer if someone has obviously made a personal effort for me, or if they made me laugh, or if they touch me in some other way. But, sorry guys, sometimes there might be days when 10 perfectly nice people contact me and I just don't want to talk to anyone that day!
I am a little OCD in that I don't like having an inbox full of 'unresolved' yellow messages, or the thought of some poor guy watching waiting to see if I will reply, so I tend to delete unless I know I am going to reply later. There is at least one person on this thread that applies to!
Yes, I too have asked admin for a 'Thanks, but no thanks' button because I think if it is an automatic response people will tend not to start demanding to know why not, and yet it does at least acknowledge their existance!!
That's what touched me today - I felt sympathy for a guy being grateful for such a little thing.
Mind you, I quite like the 'F-off you knobhead' idea too - some guys really ought to be told they are being vulgar and offensive! | |||
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"I might start sending messages saying no thanks to random men. Why wait for them to message me first "Hahaha!! Pick the cute ones then... | |||
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"Aw shucks, thanks...we love being patronised too.. "All part of the service!!  | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree you can have your opinion, but those of us who dont reply are not mannerless just because you think so. not is it polite for you to insult us for using the site tools. I'm not going to reply, and risk abuse/another message back asking why not?/another message back thanking me for saying no ( ) which then means that person can get past my filters if I change them....
I didn't ask them to mail me, I'm clear on my profile on what I'm looking for, so if they didnt bother to read it or mailed when the dont match they've wasted their own time, but they're not wasting mine.
I don't think the message is getting through to some I'm afraid.
Maybe one such gentleman would offer to administrate a woman's inbox for the day and see how they get on. my filters are pretty narrow so only about 20, 90% from a skim read of the text without opening, will be blocked when I read mail later.
How can they even tell if they fancy you though? You have no pics."beats me. especially the copy and paste'wow you're stunning' | |||
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"Guys that have angst about this, please try reading the feedback from women on the thread Thanks l've already stated that l prefer no reply. However, l just thought l'd reply saying that you, nor any other women are my boss. So l'll let my brain do my thinking for me rather than The Holy FAQs and strangers on a thread. My thoughts exactly. Apparently our opinions mean nothing when the majority don't agree you can have your opinion, but those of us who dont reply are not mannerless just because you think so. not is it polite for you to insult us for using the site tools. I'm not going to reply, and risk abuse/another message back asking why not?/another message back thanking me for saying no ( ) which then means that person can get past my filters if I change them....
I didn't ask them to mail me, I'm clear on my profile on what I'm looking for, so if they didnt bother to read it or mailed when the dont match they've wasted their own time, but they're not wasting mine.
I don't think the message is getting through to some I'm afraid.
Maybe one such gentleman would offer to administrate a woman's inbox for the day and see how they get on. my filters are pretty narrow so only about 20, 90% from a skim read of the text without opening, will be blocked when I read mail later.
How can they even tell if they fancy you though? You have no pics.
beats me. especially the copy and paste'wow you're stunning' "Blue bosoms are in.... | |||
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" Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. Aww c'mon, everyone wants to have their existance as a human being acknowledged every now and then!! I put up the thread because I can see their point of view and I think it's a shame that anyone has to go through a disheartening experience like being ignored day after day. However, I obviously see the female perspective too - my own experience, gleaned by trial and error, is the best way to avoid nasty comebacks is to just delete if there is no match - I wish it were not so. And yes, I reserve the right not to reply to anyone who does not fulfill the criteria I have said I am looking for - surely that's axiomatic? Yes, I feel for the nice guys. Yes, I try and answer if someone has obviously made a personal effort for me, or if they made me laugh, or if they touch me in some other way. But, sorry guys, sometimes there might be days when 10 perfectly nice people contact me and I just don't want to talk to anyone that day!
I am a little OCD in that I don't like having an inbox full of 'unresolved' yellow messages, or the thought of some poor guy watching waiting to see if I will reply, so I tend to delete unless I know I am going to reply later. There is at least one person on this thread that applies to!
Yes, I too have asked admin for a 'Thanks, but no thanks' button because I think if it is an automatic response people will tend not to start demanding to know why not, and yet it does at least acknowledge their existance!!
That's what touched me today - I felt sympathy for a guy being grateful for such a little thing.
Mind you, I quite like the 'F-off you knobhead' idea too - some guys really ought to be told they are being vulgar and offensive! "I can see from the responses that I'm in the minority here, I just genuinely don't get it and feel a rejection message (as the recipient) is an epic waste of my time. I don't want my existence acknowledged if it's only being acknowledged to reject me. But it's all good because these people can't message me anyway. I may put it on my profile not to bother replying to a message from me if they're not interested, since everyone else seems to think it's nice, and kind, and polite. | |||
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"Maybe one such gentleman would offer to administrate a woman's inbox for the day and see how they get on. my filters are pretty narrow so only about 20, 90% from a skim read of the text without opening, will be blocked when I read mail later.
How can they even tell if they fancy you though? You have no pics.
beats me. especially the copy and paste'wow you're stunning'
Blue bosoms are in...."glow in the dark knockers, easy to find | |||
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"I might start sending messages saying no thanks to random men. Why wait for them to message me first
I think you'll find that's called Tinder
But they don't know you've said no thanks on Tinder, on here,they'll get a personal message from me saying I'm not interested "Im not familiar with Tinder, other than as far as I know, it's a visual swipe thing "yes I would" or "no I wouldn't" I'd think people are less bothered about rejection, on that? You're right, Fabs, is more personal - "this is me, this is what I'd like" & human nature, means we expose ourselves to acceptance or rejection. As many have said, their own individual right to ignore and delete. I'm sure anyone being on the receiving end of rejection abuse, because you dared say "no" is unpleasant. That's why I think an auto "no thanks, delete message & bar from messaging again" button from Fabs, would solve it. | |||
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" Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. Aww c'mon, everyone wants to have their existance as a human being acknowledged every now and then!! I put up the thread because I can see their point of view and I think it's a shame that anyone has to go through a disheartening experience like being ignored day after day. However, I obviously see the female perspective too - my own experience, gleaned by trial and error, is the best way to avoid nasty comebacks is to just delete if there is no match - I wish it were not so. And yes, I reserve the right not to reply to anyone who does not fulfill the criteria I have said I am looking for - surely that's axiomatic? Yes, I feel for the nice guys. Yes, I try and answer if someone has obviously made a personal effort for me, or if they made me laugh, or if they touch me in some other way. But, sorry guys, sometimes there might be days when 10 perfectly nice people contact me and I just don't want to talk to anyone that day!
I am a little OCD in that I don't like having an inbox full of 'unresolved' yellow messages, or the thought of some poor guy watching waiting to see if I will reply, so I tend to delete unless I know I am going to reply later. There is at least one person on this thread that applies to!
Yes, I too have asked admin for a 'Thanks, but no thanks' button because I think if it is an automatic response people will tend not to start demanding to know why not, and yet it does at least acknowledge their existance!!
That's what touched me today - I felt sympathy for a guy being grateful for such a little thing.
Mind you, I quite like the 'F-off you knobhead' idea too - some guys really ought to be told they are being vulgar and offensive!
I can see from the responses that I'm in the minority here, I just genuinely don't get it and feel a rejection message (as the recipient) is an epic waste of my time. I don't want my existence acknowledged if it's only being acknowledged to reject me.
But it's all good because these people can't message me anyway. I may put it on my profile not to bother replying to a message from me if they're not interested, since everyone else seems to think it's nice, and kind, and polite. "Yea that will show em. You go girl | |||
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"That's why I think an auto "no thanks, delete message & bar from messaging again" button from Fabs, would solve it." Admin tried that. They just got people moaning about the lack of personalised rejection messages. | |||
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" Why is it better than nothing, though? I genuinely don't understand why a response saying no thanks is considered better. Aww c'mon, everyone wants to have their existance as a human being acknowledged every now and then!! I put up the thread because I can see their point of view and I think it's a shame that anyone has to go through a disheartening experience like being ignored day after day. However, I obviously see the female perspective too - my own experience, gleaned by trial and error, is the best way to avoid nasty comebacks is to just delete if there is no match - I wish it were not so. And yes, I reserve the right not to reply to anyone who does not fulfill the criteria I have said I am looking for - surely that's axiomatic? Yes, I feel for the nice guys. Yes, I try and answer if someone has obviously made a personal effort for me, or if they made me laugh, or if they touch me in some other way. But, sorry guys, sometimes there might be days when 10 perfectly nice people contact me and I just don't want to talk to anyone that day!
I am a little OCD in that I don't like having an inbox full of 'unresolved' yellow messages, or the thought of some poor guy watching waiting to see if I will reply, so I tend to delete unless I know I am going to reply later. There is at least one person on this thread that applies to!
Yes, I too have asked admin for a 'Thanks, but no thanks' button because I think if it is an automatic response people will tend not to start demanding to know why not, and yet it does at least acknowledge their existance!!
That's what touched me today - I felt sympathy for a guy being grateful for such a little thing.
Mind you, I quite like the 'F-off you knobhead' idea too - some guys really ought to be told they are being vulgar and offensive!
I can see from the responses that I'm in the minority here, I just genuinely don't get it and feel a rejection message (as the recipient) is an epic waste of my time. I don't want my existence acknowledged if it's only being acknowledged to reject me.
But it's all good because these people can't message me anyway. I may put it on my profile not to bother replying to a message from me if they're not interested, since everyone else seems to think it's nice, and kind, and polite.
Yea that will show em. You go girl "I'm not trying to show anyone anything. Except that, as my profile now states, I don't want no thanks messages. I'm not being argumentative, I just really dislike them. | |||
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"This is an argument that goes on in just about every 'dating' site. You can message fancy a fuck, a beautiful sonet, or a hand crafted witty tailored message referencing the profile, but it makes bugger all difference at the end of the day. You may as well write 'cat dog hippopotamus'. "To some extent yes - if it's marginal then a better message may help, but no is often just no. | |||
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" When I first joined, I'd reply to every message that I felt was personal or they've obviously taken time to write, but that ended in either abuse, further messages or follow-ups months later. It's pretty much an unwritten rule, right!? " I used to do this too & occasionally I will now once I clear my inbox down. Other reasons why I don't reply ~ well it quite clearly states it on my profile as to why & 9/10 I can't be arsed too. I'm here for fun not admin. | |||
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" When I first joined, I'd reply to every message that I felt was personal or they've obviously taken time to write, but that ended in either abuse, further messages or follow-ups months later. It's pretty much an unwritten rule, right!? I used to do this too & occasionally I will now once I clear my inbox down. Other reasons why I don't reply ~ well it quite clearly states it on my profile as to why & 9/10 I can't be arsed too. I'm here for fun not admin. "Oh yeah, totally forgot to add that I'm very lazy, too! | |||
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"I'd rather not get a "no thanks" message, either. I mean, if this was OKCupid or Match, you wouldn't be likely to receive or send a rejection mail so why should it be any different on here!? When I first joined, I'd reply to every message that I felt was personal or they've obviously taken time to write, but that ended in either abuse, further messages or follow-ups months later. It's pretty much an unwritten rule, right!? " Your referring to another website. It's different and that's why I can be different here. Isn't swinging supposed to be a social thing as well.? How are we supposed to do that off all we do is block and filter? I can actually argue this on both sides. Half of me thinks i would like to think people reply to the polite messages received in an attempt to prove that these will generally get a better response. Half of me agrees with some on this post - why do I have to? I didn't ask for you to mail me did I? Another half of me, (I know it doesn't add up at this point, I blame public schooling) i don't give a hoot, because this argument won't ever be or solved. | |||
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" When I first joined, I'd reply to every message that I felt was personal or they've obviously taken time to write, but that ended in either abuse, further messages or follow-ups months later. It's pretty much an unwritten rule, right!? I used to do this too & occasionally I will now once I clear my inbox down. Other reasons why I don't reply ~ well it quite clearly states it on my profile as to why & 9/10 I can't be arsed too. I'm here for fun not admin. "+ 1 | |||
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"Oh and here we are again, only 24 hours later, 'thanked' for saying no thank you by a message full of insults from one of the lowlifes that spoil it for everyone else..... "Just ignore the lowlifes x | |||
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"Oh and here we are again, only 24 hours later, 'thanked' for saying no thank you by a message full of insults from one of the lowlifes that spoil it for everyone else.....
Just ignore the lowlifes x"I do, but I find them very unpleasant nonetheless - I don't like any of the spite found on here, I have a hippie heart! | |||
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"Oh and here we are again, only 24 hours later, 'thanked' for saying no thank you by a message full of insults from one of the lowlifes that spoil it for everyone else.....
Just ignore the lowlifes x
I do, but I find them very unpleasant nonetheless - I don't like any of the spite found on here, I have a hippie heart! " I wish we all could get along happily. It seems an impossible notion sometimes.
Just keep doing what you do. | |||
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