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"I need zero validation for my own self worth " I wish you could bottle and sell some of your self worth, I'd buy some | |||
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"I need zero validation for my own self worth I wish you could bottle and sell some of your self worth, I'd buy some " It's taken medication, lots of therapy and mindfulness.... And ownership I sincerely hope you get there | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance." I am 100% in agreement! | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? " Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. | |||
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"I need zero validation for my own self worth " This! | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance." If only that was true. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. " Yes this drives me nuts. When people start looking for compliments then there is no hope. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. " I think everyone alive has at some point refused a compliment with the words 'yes but...'. Just one of those things. If I waited for someone on here to validate my looks I'd be waiting for ever. Bastards. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? " That is a reasonable conjecture. As incorrect as the logic is. | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance. If only that was true." Unfortunately we live in a world which promotes only the socially verified standard of 'beautiful' will succeed and be desired. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. " What about if they post negative comments 'cause they are realistic enough to realise they are not wonderful and gorgeous and that's ok? Not for validation from others. | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance. If only that was true. Unfortunately we live in a world which promotes only the socially verified standard of 'beautiful' will succeed and be desired. " Nobody ever said life was fair though did they. | |||
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"Just to play devil's advocate here.... Isn't attractiveness defined by how someone else _iews us? Self worth is introspective, attractiveness is external. They are, in some ways, defined by who is doing the appreciating (you or someone else). No?" Partially, and ideas of what constitute 'true' beauty a social constructs (eg, look at the fashion for 'Rubenesques' women in the 17th cent. vs. today's androgynous stick insects). DON'T READ BEAUTY MAGAZINES - THEY WILL MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. What about if they post negative comments 'cause they are realistic enough to realise they are not wonderful and gorgeous and that's ok? Not for validation from others." There's a difference between having one of those days when you just don't feel great and the reflection in the mirror scares you (might just be me!) and constantly putting a downer on yourself and fishing for compliments. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. What about if they post negative comments 'cause they are realistic enough to realise they are not wonderful and gorgeous and that's ok? Not for validation from others. There's a difference between having one of those days when you just don't feel great and the reflection in the mirror scares you (might just be me!) and constantly putting a downer on yourself and fishing for compliments. " That comment rings a bell. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. I think everyone alive has at some point refused a compliment with the words 'yes but...'. Just one of those things. If I waited for someone on here to validate my looks I'd be waiting for ever. Bastards. " Oh god I've done that, on more than one ocassion! It's when people post about not being attractive and that's why they can't get meets. Then you watch others fawn all over them. If I thought it would get more fawning in person, I'd give it a try | |||
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"Just to play devil's advocate here.... Isn't attractiveness defined by how someone else _iews us? Self worth is introspective, attractiveness is external. They are, in some ways, defined by who is doing the appreciating (you or someone else). No? Partially, and ideas of what constitute 'true' beauty a social constructs (eg, look at the fashion for 'Rubenesques' women in the 17th cent. vs. today's androgynous stick insects). DON'T READ BEAUTY MAGAZINES - THEY WILL MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY" They dont make me feel ugly i like looking at beautiful women. Even if they do i get over it. Its not the end of the world if other people are much better looking than you is it. | |||
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"Isn't attractiveness defined by how someone else _iews us?" So you can't find yourself attractive? Or do you mean the criteria is decided by others? | |||
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"Isn't attractiveness defined by how someone else _iews us? So you can't find yourself attractive? Or do you mean the criteria is decided by others?" You can find yourself attractive, yes. But attraction is subjective (unlike self worth). I can find myself attractive, but others may not. Or as dj said, my appearance may not be in style at that moment in time. So it wouldn't be unfair of someone to put some weight on how attractive other people find them. After all, most of us are here trying to fuck people other than ourselves. | |||
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"I need zero validation for my own self worth " This! | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. " I post self-deprecating comments a lot. They are nothing to do with how I feel about myself and certainly not posted in the hope someone will argue and say something appreciative. Mostly it's my warped sense of humour | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? " Well as they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However pretty or ugly you think you are has no bearing on your attractiveness as that's an observers opinion. | |||
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"I need zero validation for my own self worth " Self worth and attractiveness isn't the same though, is it? I have lots of self worth I can see my physical fault's though and I don't think I'm attractive | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance." Case in point. A person has a horrible personality they are rude, vulgar and cruel. They belive themselves to be amazing, have high self worth, high self esteem and find themselves very attractive and desirable. By the op and most peoples posts here this person is attractive | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance. If only that was true." It is true, but some shallow people can't see beyond the exterior. | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance. If only that was true. It is true, but some shallow people can't see beyond the exterior." Does it make you shallow to not find somebody physically attractive? | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. I post self-deprecating comments a lot. They are nothing to do with how I feel about myself and certainly not posted in the hope someone will argue and say something appreciative. Mostly it's my warped sense of humour " And the fact you're a bloke means most people will ignore them anyway | |||
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"Nor do I feel the need to validate others. I avoid those threads " | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance. If only that was true. It is true, but some shallow people can't see beyond the exterior." It doesnt always mean people are shallow though and some people are more shallow than others but the truth is most people will always judge others by their looks as its the first thing you see, you dont know what type of person they are until you actualy know them. | |||
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"Just to play devil's advocate here.... Isn't attractiveness defined by how someone else _iews us? Self worth is introspective, attractiveness is external. They are, in some ways, defined by who is doing the appreciating (you or someone else). No? Partially, and ideas of what constitute 'true' beauty a social constructs (eg, look at the fashion for 'Rubenesques' women in the 17th cent. vs. today's androgynous stick insects). DON'T READ BEAUTY MAGAZINES - THEY WILL MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY" I've long accepted there are people prettier, slimmer, richer etc than me...so what? I don't read beauty magazines because they are mainly aimed at white women or women prepared to part with shit loads of money to buy beauty products claiming to make them look ten years younger. Magazines of pretty people don't make me feel ugly. | |||
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"For me, self worth is accepting your faults and liking yourself in spite of them." Yes. But the thread was about attraction, not self worth. I think people are conflating the two. Or was the thread meant to be about self worth and "attraction" was mistakenly referred to in the OP? | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. I post self-deprecating comments a lot. They are nothing to do with how I feel about myself and certainly not posted in the hope someone will argue and say something appreciative. Mostly it's my warped sense of humour " There's a noticeable difference though. There are people who will post negative comments about themselves and bask in the pseudo ego boost generated. Rather painful to watch at times. Many on here would benefit from professional help as relying on Fab to validate your self worth is not the answer. | |||
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"For me, self worth is accepting your faults and liking yourself in spite of them." I also find myself caring less about others opinions the older I get. I'm not looking for validation of my looks as I have nothing I want in that respect. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? " I do however I don't need validation for my self worth or beliefs... just looks. It's odd | |||
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"For me, self worth is accepting your faults and liking yourself in spite of them. Yes. But the thread was about attraction, not self worth. I think people are conflating the two. Or was the thread meant to be about self worth and "attraction" was mistakenly referred to in the OP?" They are different but the OP used attraction and self belief in their opening post. I see the two things as being quite different. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? " I don't know. I measure it from what my gran used to tell me. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. I post self-deprecating comments a lot. They are nothing to do with how I feel about myself and certainly not posted in the hope someone will argue and say something appreciative. Mostly it's my warped sense of humour And the fact you're a bloke means most people will ignore them anyway " True | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? Yes. Having it seen it at work in certain threads. Then people post negative comments about themselves in hope that others will argue and say how wonderful and gorgeous they are. I post self-deprecating comments a lot. They are nothing to do with how I feel about myself and certainly not posted in the hope someone will argue and say something appreciative. Mostly it's my warped sense of humour There's a noticeable difference though. There are people who will post negative comments about themselves and bask in the pseudo ego boost generated. Rather painful to watch at times. Many on here would benefit from professional help as relying on Fab to validate your self worth is not the answer. " This is sadly true too | |||
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"Just to play devil's advocate here.... Isn't attractiveness defined by how someone else _iews us? Self worth is introspective, attractiveness is external. They are, in some ways, defined by who is doing the appreciating (you or someone else). No? Partially, and ideas of what constitute 'true' beauty a social constructs (eg, look at the fashion for 'Rubenesques' women in the 17th cent. vs. today's androgynous stick insects). DON'T READ BEAUTY MAGAZINES - THEY WILL MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY" But can I trust you on the sunscreen? | |||
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"Reading some posts on the forum a fair few people on here have been emotionally abused by partners/former partners and made to feel that they look like shit, so they end up feeling like shit and yes when they get complimented it lifts them and that can get a bit addictive. I think it's a bit more complicated than having to shake yourself and "believe" in yourself if you've been brought up and made to feel like you're a worthless piece of shit, especially if you're shy or timid. How is your self belief going to be then? There are a lot of strong charachters on Fab and yeah that's wicked, but rightly or wrongly, there are also a lot of fragile people on here too. " i's dotted and t's crossed | |||
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"Reading some posts on the forum a fair few people on here have been emotionally abused by partners/former partners and made to feel that they look like shit, so they end up feeling like shit and yes when they get complimented it lifts them and that can get a bit addictive. I think it's a bit more complicated than having to shake yourself and "believe" in yourself if you've been brought up and made to feel like you're a worthless piece of shit, especially if you're shy or timid. How is your self belief going to be then? There are a lot of strong charachters on Fab and yeah that's wicked, but rightly or wrongly, there are also a lot of fragile people on here too. " That makes sense, after all there are plenty of fragile people in the population so of course there will be plenty on here. However it does sometimes make me a bit uncomfortable how much some people reveal about themselves, their histories and insecurities in the forum. I think they can leave themselves quite vulnerable as a result. | |||
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" but rightly or wrongly, there are also a lot of fragile people on here too. " Very true, that's why they need professional help in most cases to help them. The 'Fab me' approach is nothing more than a sticky plaster on an open wound. | |||
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"Reading some posts on the forum a fair few people on here have been emotionally abused by partners/former partners and made to feel that they look like shit, so they end up feeling like shit and yes when they get complimented it lifts them and that can get a bit addictive. I think it's a bit more complicated than having to shake yourself and "believe" in yourself if you've been brought up and made to feel like you're a worthless piece of shit, especially if you're shy or timid. How is your self belief going to be then? There are a lot of strong charachters on Fab and yeah that's wicked, but rightly or wrongly, there are also a lot of fragile people on here too. That makes sense, after all there are plenty of fragile people in the population so of course there will be plenty on here. However it does sometimes make me a bit uncomfortable how much some people reveal about themselves, their histories and insecurities in the forum. I think they can leave themselves quite vulnerable as a result. " I agree. | |||
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"Just to play devil's advocate here.... Isn't attractiveness defined by how someone else _iews us? Self worth is introspective, attractiveness is external. They are, in some ways, defined by who is doing the appreciating (you or someone else). No?" I agree. No matter how attractive (or not) I think I am, some people will think I am and some will think I'm not. So of course it matters what other people think. | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? " not me! I know I'm awesome | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance. Case in point. A person has a horrible personality they are rude, vulgar and cruel. They belive themselves to be amazing, have high self worth, high self esteem and find themselves very attractive and desirable. By the op and most peoples posts here this person is attractive " | |||
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"Is it just me or does it seem too many people measure their attractiveness on whether or not they are told and not their own self belief? " I don't think it's healthy to measure your own attractiveness. It's not something you should get stuck on. Obviously it's a lovely feeling when you're given compliments. Whether that be about your looks, personality or talent and capabilities. Attractiveness is it not what you feel about others and not yourself? Positive feelings and working on your own happiness makes you feel great and that positivity and vibe is attractive in a person. Different thing's make you attractive not just looks. I'm not into those with over inflated egos and with too high opinions of themselves. It can make someone very ugly indeed... | |||
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"No. I train to look good naked " See now shag here is what you're competing with for nsa meets. And hes got a decent sense of humor to go with the 6 paxk | |||
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"No. I train to look good naked See now shag here is what you're competing with for nsa meets. And hes got a decent sense of humor to go with the 6 paxk" Thanks and that is right, it is about having humor too | |||
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"Attractiveness has more to do with someone's personality than their external appearance. If only that was true. It is true, but some shallow people can't see beyond the exterior. Does it make you shallow to not find somebody physically attractive?" No not at all. You've missed my point. | |||
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