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"I just let it go over my head x" Ignore or acknowledge it? | |||
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*really this is bad for self esteem. | |||
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"Self flagellation. Or alternatively, a good talking to in front of a mirror! " Is it bad that I rather like the idea of you self-flagellating, Georgie?!
I can't look myself in a mirror when it's time for a good talking to. Stubborn mule, me. | |||
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"just realise people don't belong to you? plus i'm hotter than anything they're fucking/trying to fuck so it's all good*.
*really this is bad for self esteem."Hehehe! I think it's perhaps (as you allude with self esteem) more a tell on how we feel about ourselves then a need to "own" another -- but you're right, no one belongs to us or owes us anything. Dammit. | |||
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"I sit back and process what I'm feeling. If I don't take time away to analyse it then I end up acting out. I do that for most of my emotions now and I wish I'd learnt it sooner... " Ahhh the "acting out" -- gulp, the thing I sometimes try and convince myself is "my fiery passion", that the one?  Gahhhhh, b*gger!! | |||
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"It does happen but I control myself and move on! " Nods. Control, control, control --- don't you sometimes just want to flail and wail and just let it all out?  | |||
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"Self flagellation. Or alternatively, a good talking to in front of a mirror! Is it bad that I rather like the idea of you self-flagellating, Georgie?!
I can't look myself in a mirror when it's time for a good talking to. Stubborn mule, me. "Yes! Very bad! Ten strokes to your bum as punishment Miss Estella 
I know exactly what you mean. I don't take being told well at all. Even by me  | |||
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"I do have a jealous streak. If I was in a relationship I would hate them to have sex with anyone else, I'd always be worried that they preferred the other person. " Do you ever worry that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy though, that our fear perhaps may trigger the likelihood? | |||
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"I don't really get jealous. I'm not sure why . " really? I can't comprehend that. | |||
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"I get jealous sometimes, and I think that's quite normal for here. I've got reasonably good at just suppressing it though - and would try not take to it out on the object of my jealousy; it's my problem, not anyone else's. " Gosh yes, it's definitely a personal battle. Whether "here" or in real relationships (where I suppose you'd be more invested) do you ever think it's necessary to discuss with the other person or would that be imposing your problem on the other? | |||
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"I do have a jealous streak. If I was in a relationship I would hate them to have sex with anyone else, I'd always be worried that they preferred the other person. " Similar to this. In a relationship I would be different and not so much jealous but probably more worried that I am not giving them enough and someone else is preferred. On fab though, I haven't experienced jealousy yet and not sure if I ever will. | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? " It doesn't happen often but when it does, I remind myself that it's one of the many reasons I'd rather be single  xx | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? " Jelousy in In romance. Do I have to be in a relationship to answer this? | |||
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"I get jealous sometimes, and I think that's quite normal for here. I've got reasonably good at just suppressing it though - and would try not take to it out on the object of my jealousy; it's my problem, not anyone else's. " Ditto  | |||
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"Self flagellation. Or alternatively, a good talking to in front of a mirror! Is it bad that I rather like the idea of you self-flagellating, Georgie?!
I can't look myself in a mirror when it's time for a good talking to. Stubborn mule, me.
Yes! Very bad! Ten strokes to your bum as punishment Miss Estella
I know exactly what you mean. I don't take being told well at all. Even by me "Whilst the telling is necessary, rational and ultimately more healthy, sometimes being mature and okay and in control just feels so bloomin' unfair!! (I'm channelling my inner tantrumy kid right now!) | |||
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"I don't really get jealous. I'm not sure why .
really? I can't comprehend that. "Maybe it's because I've never experienced trust issues, I don't know. It's a strange one. I just feel if I'm in a relationship with someone, the trust should be there. So why should I be jealous? They chose me. Or they'd be with that other person... I have a strange way of thinking, I guess.... | |||
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"I do get jealous when I am in love or really interested in the person, otherwise I am cold as a freezer. " Brrrrrrrrrr. Love. Sigh. | |||
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"I do have a jealous streak. If I was in a relationship I would hate them to have sex with anyone else, I'd always be worried that they preferred the other person. Similar to this. In a relationship I would be different and not so much jealous but probably more worried that I am not giving them enough and someone else is preferred. On fab though, I haven't experienced jealousy yet and not sure if I ever will. " Yes, the two are different. | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? It doesn't happen often but when it does, I remind myself that it's one of the many reasons I'd rather be single xx"Oh that's interesting. I wondered if sometimes it happened more *when* you're single as perhaps there's something niggling in subconscious about lack of self worth as to why you're single -- but of course as soon as I write that I note that someone feeling that will take that into a relationship too and someone else may be single and not feel the lack of worth at all. But, you "protect" yourself from jealousy by staying out of a relationship? | |||
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"I do have a jealous streak. If I was in a relationship I would hate them to have sex with anyone else, I'd always be worried that they preferred the other person. Do you ever worry that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy though, that our fear perhaps may trigger the likelihood?" No, because anyone in a relationship with me wouldn't want to have sex with anyone else
Oh, I still would be able to have sex with anyone I wanted though. | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? Jelousy in In romance. Do I have to be in a relationship to answer this? " Gosh no! I just thought the quote interesting as it purports that "some" jealousy is not necessarily negative! All opinions welcome! | |||
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"I don't really get jealous. I'm not sure why .
really? I can't comprehend that.
Maybe it's because I've never experienced trust issues, I don't know. It's a strange one. I just feel if I'm in a relationship with someone, the trust should be there. So why should I be jealous? They chose me. Or they'd be with that other person... I have a strange way of thinking, I guess.... "Not at all strange! Sounds idyllic | |||
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"No jealousy in our relationship. Flattery maybe "Yay! | |||
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"The surest route to breeding jealousy is to compare. Since jealousy comes from feeling less than another, comparisons only fan the fires. Dorothy Corkille Briggs I try not to compare. I try to live my life and be myself. I falter sometimes though..." That's an excellent way to frame it rationally, thank you | |||
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"I get jealous sometimes, and I think that's quite normal for here. I've got reasonably good at just suppressing it though - and would try not take to it out on the object of my jealousy; it's my problem, not anyone else's. Gosh yes, it's definitely a personal battle. Whether "here" or in real relationships (where I suppose you'd be more invested) do you ever think it's necessary to discuss with the other person or would that be imposing your problem on the other? " Hmm, in a real relationship if I thought that it was something that was being partly brought about by my partner's behaviour (e.g. flirting with a specific person) then I'd discuss it with them, because they could change their behaviour and we could just avoid the problem. If it was just something I'd created in my head though, which it sometimes is, then I wouldn't. | |||
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"If you know yourself, and are sure of your partner then that emotion never enters my mind. The only time that I've ever felt that emotion is when I wasn't sure of my partner, and that's was nearing the end of our relationship, and that's been fortunately only on two occasions. What man is going to want a woman, that no other man wants, or says, she a bit of alright, or he's a lucky bugger, etc... "Experiential evidence does start to toxify things if you've had bad history. But everyone is new and fresh and trust is the cornerstone of a relationship -- what's the point without it? | |||
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"I do have a jealous streak. If I was in a relationship I would hate them to have sex with anyone else, I'd always be worried that they preferred the other person. Do you ever worry that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy though, that our fear perhaps may trigger the likelihood? No, because anyone in a relationship with me wouldn't want to have sex with anyone else
Oh, I still would be able to have sex with anyone I wanted though."My hero!! | |||
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"I don't get jealous of the physical L having sex with another person is a wonderfull thing, it's when people try to be her friend and start acting like they want to have a personal connection, that's when I get jealous, i am happy to share her body..but her heart soul personality is mine, this is just sex" Yes, it's always been the latter (heart, soul etc) that spikes a prickle for me -- feelings -- not the physical fun. | |||
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"I sit back and process what I'm feeling. If I don't take time away to analyse it then I end up acting out. I do that for most of my emotions now and I wish I'd learnt it sooner... " Same. At the end of the day, if I say to Mr C I don't want him to do something or meet someone he won't. Same with him. Mutual respect and communication are key in this game. Miss C. Xx | |||
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"Haven't experienced jealousy yet, but never say never. "
Thumb is supporting that you've not had a problem with jealousy not encouraging it to happen -- just wanted to clarify!! | |||
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"I get jealous sometimes, and I think that's quite normal for here. I've got reasonably good at just suppressing it though - and would try not take to it out on the object of my jealousy; it's my problem, not anyone else's. Gosh yes, it's definitely a personal battle. Whether "here" or in real relationships (where I suppose you'd be more invested) do you ever think it's necessary to discuss with the other person or would that be imposing your problem on the other? Hmm, in a real relationship if I thought that it was something that was being partly brought about by my partner's behaviour (e.g. flirting with a specific person) then I'd discuss it with them, because they could change their behaviour and we could just avoid the problem. If it was just something I'd created in my head though, which it sometimes is, then I wouldn't. " Yes. Yes! Thanks Ruby. | |||
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"I'm jealous of anyone having a really good day right now. Tantrum is on " Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh | |||
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"Yes jealousy is bad. I've ruined a great relationship because of it. But learnt now. It is what it is " Life is hard work sometimes, eh?! | |||
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"I'm not sure if it's something that many would want to admit to? But yes, I get jealous. I realise it's because I'm comparing myself with another and there's little point - it will just lead to more negative emotions. Sometimes I go down the self loathing path 'Oh, I'm not as intelligent/attractive etc' but I do try to rationalise it as primarily being in my head. " I know. I get annoyed with myself for succumbing to such base emotions when intellectually I know better (don't I?!), such a b*gger! And the self-loathing spiral of pity and doom is quite simply a damned nuisance when there's books to read and country walks to be had and so many more cheeses to try!! I like to think I'm artistically honing new skills, new depths of emotional turmoil that will ultimately make me a more complex and interesting soul for future paramours. The reality is it makes me a moody, teary wanker and I need to stop being a twat! | |||
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"I don't get jealous in the context of my relationship with Marc. I've never really felt like I've needed to be jealous." This is good! | |||
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"I sit back and process what I'm feeling. If I don't take time away to analyse it then I end up acting out. I do that for most of my emotions now and I wish I'd learnt it sooner... Same. At the end of the day, if I say to Mr C I don't want him to do something or meet someone he won't. Same with him. Mutual respect and communication are key in this game. Miss C. Xx " Respect. Communication. Yes, yes, yes. | |||
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"It is hard and I usually end up with something loud in my headphones to distract myself until I'm back to being curious and interested" Make me a "get over my ego" playlist please?! | |||
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"according to my ex wife i am an emotional retard and borderline autism in the spectrum of emotions. i assume this is a compliment. on the plus side i dont get jealous feelings "Grins!! | |||
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"On here? Not really. Maybe the odd pang of minor disappointment. In relationships? A little, but I try and rationalise it." How does one rationalise it? | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... " Compartmentalising on here I get. But real life jealousy? | |||
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"Jealous in what sense?" Fear of loss, paranoia of greater intimacy with another, feelings of low self worth, blood boiling despair, and empty tears and just loneliness forever.....you know a little jealousy! | |||
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"Very rarely, I'm a bit of an emotional retard though and if I do, I just have a nap And that tends to sort it out. " Tardlet. | |||
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"Jealous in what sense? Fear of loss, paranoia of greater intimacy with another, feelings of low self worth, blood boiling despair, and empty tears and just loneliness forever.....you know a little jealousy! "Nah, not really. Even I'm jealous of me. | |||
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"On here? Very little. In relationship, I can but I tend to only have those committed vanilla ones and if someone is chatting up my partner I tend to take it as a compliment rather than get jealous about it" | |||
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"Jealous in what sense? Fear of loss, paranoia of greater intimacy with another, feelings of low self worth, blood boiling despair, and empty tears and just loneliness forever.....you know a little jealousy! " | |||
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"Jealous in what sense? Fear of loss, paranoia of greater intimacy with another, feelings of low self worth, blood boiling despair, and empty tears and just loneliness forever.....you know a little jealousy!
Nah, not really. Even I'm jealous of me. "Such. A. Dude. | |||
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"I'm not sure if it's something that many would want to admit to? But yes, I get jealous. I realise it's because I'm comparing myself with another and there's little point - it will just lead to more negative emotions. Sometimes I go down the self loathing path 'Oh, I'm not as intelligent/attractive etc' but I do try to rationalise it as primarily being in my head. I know. I get annoyed with myself for succumbing to such base emotions when intellectually I know better (don't I?!), such a b*gger! And the self-loathing spiral of pity and doom is quite simply a damned nuisance when there's books to read and country walks to be had and so many more cheeses to try!! I like to think I'm artistically honing new skills, new depths of emotional turmoil that will ultimately make me a more complex and interesting soul for future paramours. The reality is it makes me a moody, teary wanker and I need to stop being a twat! "your heart/feelings don't know any better. don't beat yourself up about it. i'm not finding NSA any fun now i have got over my ex emotionally and got my feelings back, been like this for quite some time now. i'm sure loads of people will think i'm a dick for that, but i don't care. i feel things and like it, i go with those feelings...so what if i always get let down and guys take advantage, i'm learning more people are bigger arseholes than i am that's all. not sure what my point is but feelings are ok. it's ok to get upset, it's ok to cut people dead if they're hurting you (temporarily or otherwise). it's ok to go with your feelings. just hope you don't stop having them and end up numb. | |||
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"Very rarely, I'm a bit of an emotional retard though and if I do, I just have a nap And that tends to sort it out. Tardlet." Very cute | |||
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"No jealousy in our relationship. Flattery maybe
Yay! " | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... " You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs | |||
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"I don't get jealous in the context of my relationship with Marc. I've never really felt like I've needed to be jealous. This is good! "Just to clarify - I'm definitely capable of jealousy. But in order to be jealous there would have to be a reason, and Marc has never acted in a way that has made me feel jealous (or at least, not since our early days of dating over 10 years ago). | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs" I've been dropped by loads of men when they move onto someone better - most of the ones I've met, tbh. And I've dropped some myself. But I'm not really in the swinging scene so it may be different within the couples scene. | |||
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"I'm not sure if it's something that many would want to admit to? But yes, I get jealous. I realise it's because I'm comparing myself with another and there's little point - it will just lead to more negative emotions. Sometimes I go down the self loathing path 'Oh, I'm not as intelligent/attractive etc' but I do try to rationalise it as primarily being in my head. I know. I get annoyed with myself for succumbing to such base emotions when intellectually I know better (don't I?!), such a b*gger! And the self-loathing spiral of pity and doom is quite simply a damned nuisance when there's books to read and country walks to be had and so many more cheeses to try!! I like to think I'm artistically honing new skills, new depths of emotional turmoil that will ultimately make me a more complex and interesting soul for future paramours. The reality is it makes me a moody, teary wanker and I need to stop being a twat!
your heart/feelings don't know any better. don't beat yourself up about it.
i'm not finding NSA any fun now i have got over my ex emotionally and got my feelings back, been like this for quite some time now. i'm sure loads of people will think i'm a dick for that, but i don't care. i feel things and like it, i go with those feelings...so what if i always get let down and guys take advantage, i'm learning more people are bigger arseholes than i am that's all.
not sure what my point is but feelings are ok. it's ok to get upset, it's ok to cut people dead if they're hurting you (temporarily or otherwise). it's ok to go with your feelings. just hope you don't stop having them and end up numb."I online adore you | |||
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"Very rarely, I'm a bit of an emotional retard though and if I do, I just have a nap And that tends to sort it out. Tardlet. Very cute " | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs" Good points | |||
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"Jealous in what sense? Fear of loss, paranoia of greater intimacy with another, feelings of low self worth, blood boiling despair, and empty tears and just loneliness forever.....you know a little jealousy!
Nah, not really. Even I'm jealous of me.
Such. A. Dude."So many other nouns you could have put there. | |||
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"I don't get jealous in the context of my relationship with Marc. I've never really felt like I've needed to be jealous. This is good!
Just to clarify - I'm definitely capable of jealousy. But in order to be jealous there would have to be a reason, and Marc has never acted in a way that has made me feel jealous (or at least, not since our early days of dating over 10 years ago). "No, I read it as that -- a healthy, happy partnership | |||
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"Jealous in what sense? Fear of loss, paranoia of greater intimacy with another, feelings of low self worth, blood boiling despair, and empty tears and just loneliness forever.....you know a little jealousy!
Nah, not really. Even I'm jealous of me.
Such. A. Dude.
So many other nouns you could have put there. "There's so many things I'd like to put in so many places when it comes to you. | |||
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"I experienced it twice. It made me feel really nauseous. I knew what it was expressed it in a healthy way and it dissipated. It kind of caught me off guard as the only other time I'd felt it was as a teenager. I was able to blame someone else for the situation as a teenager, so it turned quickly to resentment. However this relatively recent time, it was just a matter of owning the feelings and letting go of them." Yes, I get the nausea! "Expressed it in a healthy way" -- to yourself, them, another? | |||
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"Not jealousy just a bit dissapointed " Disappointment sucks too | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs I've been dropped by loads of men when they move onto someone better - most of the ones I've met, tbh. And I've dropped some myself. But I'm not really in the swinging scene so it may be different within the couples scene. " I have dropped one long term lover for a reason. I've never dropped anyone because I have a better option. I don't see new blood as better, I see it as another avenue to explore in addition to the avenues that I'm already comfortable with. But about a year ago I asked a new lover who had come to see us for the evening, about 2 other couples who he'd recently been verified by. I said that I was worried that I might have been replaced. He said they can't give him what I give him. That summed it up. People get different things from different partners, so there is no need to replace someone, when all partners can be enjoyed. | |||
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"I don't get jealous on here as can't see the point in beating myself up over casual sexual encounters. I do, however get upset at being treated with a lack of respect, now that really gets to me. Jealousy is a very ugly emotion and achieves nothing. " Are you calling me ugly, Dana?! Hehehe -- you're right, it is. | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs" When young guys come into swinging we are alone and try to find our way... after much failure in the beginning... we finally meet that unicorn or hot sex couple... They are usually older and successful... they introduce you to this new world of swinging .. parties, club, all their friends... you're great friends now ... holidays, movies , club nights , texting every day , you're her first BBC and she doesn't want anyone else....... Then they meet a bi guy , hot young unicorn, or equally hot couple and they are over the BBC phase and on to their next phase of their swinging adventure... If you thought these people were your lifelong friends, you will feel jealous and hurt  | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs I've been dropped by loads of men when they move onto someone better - most of the ones I've met, tbh. And I've dropped some myself. But I'm not really in the swinging scene so it may be different within the couples scene. I have dropped one long term lover for a reason. I've never dropped anyone because I have a better option. I don't see new blood as better, I see it as another avenue to explore in addition to the avenues that I'm already comfortable with. But about a year ago I asked a new lover who had come to see us for the evening, about 2 other couples who he'd recently been verified by. I said that I was worried that I might have been replaced. He said they can't give him what I give him. That summed it up. People get different things from different partners, so there is no need to replace someone, when all partners can be enjoyed. " I'd agree if I was being added to, but in the situations I'm talking about, I was definitely replaced. I think that's how a lot of men on here as single who meet women on here as singles operate (and vice versa). They don't want to add to, they will just drop one if a new one has come along. | |||
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"I only get jealous if they are offered something I'm not, if the option is there for me to have it too then I'm happy to share " | |||
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"I experienced it twice. It made me feel really nauseous. I knew what it was expressed it in a healthy way and it dissipated. It kind of caught me off guard as the only other time I'd felt it was as a teenager. I was able to blame someone else for the situation as a teenager, so it turned quickly to resentment. However this relatively recent time, it was just a matter of owning the feelings and letting go of them. Yes, I get the nausea! "Expressed it in a healthy way" -- to yourself, them, another? " I told them I was feeling jealous and what was causing it. Then apologised because I felt it was an unreasonable feeling to have in the circumstances. It acted a bit like lancing a boil, because the feeling just subsided after expressing it | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs I've been dropped by loads of men when they move onto someone better - most of the ones I've met, tbh. And I've dropped some myself. But I'm not really in the swinging scene so it may be different within the couples scene. I have dropped one long term lover for a reason. I've never dropped anyone because I have a better option. I don't see new blood as better, I see it as another avenue to explore in addition to the avenues that I'm already comfortable with. But about a year ago I asked a new lover who had come to see us for the evening, about 2 other couples who he'd recently been verified by. I said that I was worried that I might have been replaced. He said they can't give him what I give him. That summed it up. People get different things from different partners, so there is no need to replace someone, when all partners can be enjoyed. I'd agree if I was being added to, but in the situations I'm talking about, I was definitely replaced. I think that's how a lot of men on here as single who meet women on here as singles operate (and vice versa). They don't want to add to, they will just drop one if a new one has come along. " To have one partner at a time, sounds like vanilla dating to me. I wonder why so many men don't want to see more than one woman at a time. I'm guessing single men must have a different approach with couples than with singles. | |||
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"I experienced it twice. It made me feel really nauseous. I knew what it was expressed it in a healthy way and it dissipated. It kind of caught me off guard as the only other time I'd felt it was as a teenager. I was able to blame someone else for the situation as a teenager, so it turned quickly to resentment. However this relatively recent time, it was just a matter of owning the feelings and letting go of them. Yes, I get the nausea! "Expressed it in a healthy way" -- to yourself, them, another? I told them I was feeling jealous and what was causing it. Then apologised because I felt it was an unreasonable feeling to have in the circumstances. It acted a bit like lancing a boil, because the feeling just subsided after expressing it "Guru xx | |||
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"I experienced it twice. It made me feel really nauseous. I knew what it was expressed it in a healthy way and it dissipated. It kind of caught me off guard as the only other time I'd felt it was as a teenager. I was able to blame someone else for the situation as a teenager, so it turned quickly to resentment. However this relatively recent time, it was just a matter of owning the feelings and letting go of them. Yes, I get the nausea! "Expressed it in a healthy way" -- to yourself, them, another? I told them I was feeling jealous and what was causing it. Then apologised because I felt it was an unreasonable feeling to have in the circumstances. It acted a bit like lancing a boil, because the feeling just subsided after expressing it
Guru xx"Nah. Snake oil | |||
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"I don't get jealous in the context of my relationship with Marc. I've never really felt like I've needed to be jealous." This for me too
Miss | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs I've been dropped by loads of men when they move onto someone better - most of the ones I've met, tbh. And I've dropped some myself. But I'm not really in the swinging scene so it may be different within the couples scene. I have dropped one long term lover for a reason. I've never dropped anyone because I have a better option. I don't see new blood as better, I see it as another avenue to explore in addition to the avenues that I'm already comfortable with. But about a year ago I asked a new lover who had come to see us for the evening, about 2 other couples who he'd recently been verified by. I said that I was worried that I might have been replaced. He said they can't give him what I give him. That summed it up. People get different things from different partners, so there is no need to replace someone, when all partners can be enjoyed. I'd agree if I was being added to, but in the situations I'm talking about, I was definitely replaced. I think that's how a lot of men on here as single who meet women on here as singles operate (and vice versa). They don't want to add to, they will just drop one if a new one has come along. To have one partner at a time, sounds like vanilla dating to me. I wonder why so many men don't want to see more than one woman at a time. I'm guessing single men must have a different approach with couples than with singles. " This is me being honest..... it cost a lot of money to date more than one woman now ... remember we are not a University anymore, so pizza and a movie doesn't cut it as a date . women have expensive taste....dinner,movie,drinks , Uber's can be $350 for a night out in NYC. You do that 4 times a week , it starts to become a mortgage payment , plus holiday and birthday gifts ... so monogamy is actually cheaper | |||
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"I don't get jealous in the context of my relationship with Marc. I've never really felt like I've needed to be jealous. This for me too
Miss" these answers are great as, you know....hope! | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs When young guys come into swinging we are alone and try to find our way... after much failure in the beginning... we finally meet that unicorn or hot sex couple... They are usually older and successful... they introduce you to this new world of swinging .. parties, club, all their friends... you're great friends now ... holidays, movies , club nights , texting every day , you're her first BBC and she doesn't want anyone else....... Then they meet a bi guy , hot young unicorn, or equally hot couple and they are over the BBC phase and on to their next phase of their swinging adventure... If you thought these people were your lifelong friends, you will feel jealous and hurt "Our experience is different. With one exception we've never met a newbie. All our earlier meets were experienced players and taught us. Admittedly my very first 'bull' I only wanted him. He didn't deliver in his promises then left the swing scene without explanation though I suspect he was married. We were devasted. Since then I have made a point of aiming to have 3 lovers at any one time so that I don't have that disappointment again. Although, I do admit to ending one relationship for a reason, all the others we keep in our 'stable of studs' for as long as they wish to stay there. If a new interest comes along they get added. It's usually a bit off and on because life and geography gets in the way. | |||
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"I really don't think you can stop jealousy when you're a swinger... Most people will tell you we are going to be lifelong friends and after 3-6 months they are on to the next person and dropped you like a bad habit... How do you stop jealousy? Keep your vanilla friends as your true life long friends and keep your swinging friends as just sex partners.... Don't blur the lines and you will never get hurt... You see I don't find people get 'dropped' on the swing scene for somebody else. I find people get 'added' to. So as long as swingers are up for sharing, then there should be no problem. The only times we've ever been dropped is due to men making an active decision to leave the swing scene. We've never been dropped due to a man finding another swinging partner - the beauty of the swing scene is that you can see more than one person. And me personally I make a point of treating my playmates equally, so that jealousy doesn't take place. Mild jealousy is an aphrodisiac though, but there is always a slight pang when the verification for a next playmate goes up. But that pang soon disappears when I realise that it doesn't mean they have lost interest in me. Mrs I've been dropped by loads of men when they move onto someone better - most of the ones I've met, tbh. And I've dropped some myself. But I'm not really in the swinging scene so it may be different within the couples scene. I have dropped one long term lover for a reason. I've never dropped anyone because I have a better option. I don't see new blood as better, I see it as another avenue to explore in addition to the avenues that I'm already comfortable with. But about a year ago I asked a new lover who had come to see us for the evening, about 2 other couples who he'd recently been verified by. I said that I was worried that I might have been replaced. He said they can't give him what I give him. That summed it up. People get different things from different partners, so there is no need to replace someone, when all partners can be enjoyed. I'd agree if I was being added to, but in the situations I'm talking about, I was definitely replaced. I think that's how a lot of men on here as single who meet women on here as singles operate (and vice versa). They don't want to add to, they will just drop one if a new one has come along. To have one partner at a time, sounds like vanilla dating to me. I wonder why so many men don't want to see more than one woman at a time. I'm guessing single men must have a different approach with couples than with singles. This is me being honest..... it cost a lot of money to date more than one woman now ... remember we are not a University anymore, so pizza and a movie doesn't cut it as a date . women have expensive taste....dinner,movie,drinks , Uber's can be $350 for a night out in NYC. You do that 4 times a week , it starts to become a mortgage payment , plus holiday and birthday gifts ... so monogamy is actually cheaper "Or you could spread it out. I'll do one playmate a month, but I understand a single person will want to meet more often. | |||
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" Although, I do admit to ending one relationship for a reason, all the others we keep in our 'stable of studs' for as long as they wish to stay there. " Stable of studs!!!! Amazing. | |||
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"Or you could spread it out. I'll do one playmate a month, but I understand a single person will want to meet more often." Only one? Sounds dreary. I think it's very different for a woman who is in a couple. | |||
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"I don't get jealous in the context of my relationship with Marc. I've never really felt like I've needed to be jealous. This for me too
Miss
these answers are great as, you know....hope! "Theres always hope lovely,you never know whats/who is round the corner xx | |||
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"Lol if we'd get jealous no point being on here xx " You never experience any form of jealousy? | |||
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"I don't get jealous in the context of my relationship with Marc. I've never really felt like I've needed to be jealous. This for me too
Miss
these answers are great as, you know....hope!
Theres always hope lovely,you never know whats/who is round the corner xx"Can you give them a shove round the corner please? | |||
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"Or you could spread it out. I'll do one playmate a month, but I understand a single person will want to meet more often. Only one? Sounds dreary. I think it's very different for a woman who is in a couple." Yes it is different. I would play more often if I were single and childless. Maybe have a different guy once a week instead of once a month | |||
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" Although, I do admit to ending one relationship for a reason, all the others we keep in our 'stable of studs' for as long as they wish to stay there. Stable of studs!!!! Amazing. "I think every woman should have a stable of studs | |||
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"I could lie here play the game of avoidance but I won't I feel jealous hell I even know one day my play partners nay decided they don't need me anymore or they may find someone else who can give them more than me.both thoughts hurt both thoughts are always with me . When I feel jealousy I tell myself of for being selfish I beat myself up over the feelings telling myself I have no right to act on them so I don't . I Restrain myself I control myself I except my feeling are a by product of wanting it all and wanting it all is not good for my play partners its a selfish desire which often will be a destructive one .after all I have no right to demand of another that which I couldn't don't or won't give myself. I am destined to be hurt I have learnt to except my pain to control it. jealous is pain losing a fwb is pain .losing a fwb to another because i couldn't didn't or wouldn't give them more is a product if my circumstances I could change that fact but i will not . I am a weak human being I feel every emotion under the sun but I am strong enough to restrain the pain except the pain and not act in away that will make things worse for those I care about because its the fact I care that causes jealousy causes me pain . I would rather live with pain and of coarse its counter point joy than to close myself off and never allow anyone in . Jealousy is a bi product of emotional attachment it comes with the territory and must be controlled understood and excepted but never acted upon unless you want to ruin the joy and the relationship that has meaning to you . " Nods. | |||
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" Although, I do admit to ending one relationship for a reason, all the others we keep in our 'stable of studs' for as long as they wish to stay there. Stable of studs!!!! Amazing.
I think every woman should have a stable of studs "I don't know, I could be a bit of a mare! (Other horse jokes are available) | |||
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"Self flagellation. Or alternatively, a good talking to in front of a mirror! " A slap? I've tried telling you off, you don't listen | |||
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"Lol if we'd get jealous no point being on here xx " absolutely agree. A couple together on here should know it's only consented fun between you | |||
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"If I really like someone then yeah I can get a little jelly" Now I'm thinking about ice cream | |||
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"If I really like someone then yeah I can get a little jelly Now I'm thinking about ice cream "I had ice cream with cherry pie recently | |||
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"If I really like someone then yeah I can get a little jelly Now I'm thinking about ice cream
I had ice cream with cherry pie recently "Damn fine cherry pie! | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? Jelousy in In romance. Do I have to be in a relationship to answer this? Gosh no! I just thought the quote interesting as it purports that "some" jealousy is not necessarily negative! All opinions welcome! " I'll only be jealous of her, if her cock is bigger than mine. | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? Jelousy in In romance. Do I have to be in a relationship to answer this? Gosh no! I just thought the quote interesting as it purports that "some" jealousy is not necessarily negative! All opinions welcome! I'll only be jealous of her, if her cock is bigger than mine. "Tsk! | |||
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"I never got jealous in my life. Until recently. I spectacularly lost my shit and threw all my toys out. It was a beautiful mess. It coincided with me feeling low anyhow so I guess it was a mixture of things that caused my wobble. I'm glad I had the experience though. Now I will hopefully recognise the warning signs and remove myself from the situation until it all blows cold again. I definitely never ever want those emotions again. It's not a healthy state of mind. " This.
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"I never got jealous in my life. Until recently. I spectacularly lost my shit and threw all my toys out. It was a beautiful mess. It coincided with me feeling low anyhow so I guess it was a mixture of things that caused my wobble. I'm glad I had the experience though. Now I will hopefully recognise the warning signs and remove myself from the situation until it all blows cold again. I definitely never ever want those emotions again. It's not a healthy state of mind. This.
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"Jealousy is ok in small doses now and then. Extreme jealousy is the sign of insecurity. " I concur. | |||
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"Yeah, I get jealous. Smacks me up the side of the head when I least expect it. I have to take 30 seconds, breathe and give myself a good talking to. Remind myself that I am good enough and that I entered into this knowing what it is. NSA, and for me to want or expect anything more is moving the goalposts which is unfair of me." Positive self talk and awareness of what's happening inside you are the way to deal with this. Takes a lot of practice though. | |||
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"Yeah, I get jealous. Smacks me up the side of the head when I least expect it. I have to take 30 seconds, breathe and give myself a good talking to. Remind myself that I am good enough and that I entered into this knowing what it is. NSA, and for me to want or expect anything more is moving the goalposts which is unfair of me." Nicely put | |||
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"Yeah, I get jealous. Smacks me up the side of the head when I least expect it. I have to take 30 seconds, breathe and give myself a good talking to. Remind myself that I am good enough and that I entered into this knowing what it is. NSA, and for me to want or expect anything more is moving the goalposts which is unfair of me. Nicely put "I second that! | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? " I would think we are all capable of jealousy. It's a human trait. Especially in a loving/caring relationship. Trust, honesty and communication are 3 necessities that spring to mind if it's to remain healthy. Our jealousy is minimal and very healthy. It has to be to enjoy what we do. | |||
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"The surest route to breeding jealousy is to compare. Since jealousy comes from feeling less than another, comparisons only fan the fires. Dorothy Corkille Briggs I try not to compare. I try to live my life and be myself. I falter sometimes though..." | |||
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"I stay away from men with a wandering eye. In fact at the moment i'm just staying away from men full stop." Thank you | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? " I've never been jealous in a relationship: alien concept to me. However, as I'm losing my hair I'm jealous of those with glorious locks, especially men! | |||
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"I do have a jealous streak. If I was in a relationship I would hate them to have sex with anyone else, I'd always be worried that they preferred the other person. " Don't you think that's pointless, wasted energy? No one belongs to you, there's always going to be someone "better" than you...and?!! Are you going to waste time worrying? | |||
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"I stay away from men with a wandering eye. In fact at the moment i'm just staying away from men full stop." How do I ask you for a snog at Christmas after that type of comment? 
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" Although, I do admit to ending one relationship for a reason, all the others we keep in our 'stable of studs' for as long as they wish to stay there. Stable of studs!!!! Amazing.
I think every woman should have a stable of studs "Definitely | |||
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H xx | |||
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"I don't really get jealous. I'm not sure why .
really? I can't comprehend that.
Maybe it's because I've never experienced trust issues, I don't know. It's a strange one. I just feel if I'm in a relationship with someone, the trust should be there. So why should I be jealous? They chose me. Or they'd be with that other person... I have a strange way of thinking, I guess.... "No you don't, I'm the same. I'm currently in Sardinia with three friends, two are male. I've left the other half at home. He's not jealous of me being away with men and I'm not worrying about him shagging away. We're in a relationship and trust is there. Either of us could cheat anytime, anywhere. If he wants someone else he's not my property he's free to do as he pleases so I don't worry or get jealous! | |||
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"I stay away from men with a wandering eye. In fact at the moment i'm just staying away from men full stop. How do I ask you for a snog at Christmas after that type of comment?
"Well if you've not gone UNLOS by then (or i) then pucker up | |||
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"I stay away from men with a wandering eye. In fact at the moment i'm just staying away from men full stop." Don't have a problem with a man with a wandering eye. I have a wandering eye too, so I'll give as good as I get | |||
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"I stay away from men with a wandering eye. In fact at the moment i'm just staying away from men full stop. How do I ask you for a snog at Christmas after that type of comment?
Well if you've not gone UNLOS by then (or i) then pucker up "Thank you. I'm good at puckering. | |||
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"I dont get jealous as such. But what I do have issue with is a partner who is disrespecting you with their behaviour. Flirting and having a bit of banter with the opposite sex is acceptable but to take it too far and to be openly disrespectful to their partners feelings is another matter entirely. Again its about boundries and what each couple deems to be acceptable together. Some couples boundries are completely different to anothers. So again its what works for you as a couple that counts." Exactly. All of my proper relationships have been intense and mutually possessive, and that is fine by me - I am monogamous by nature and have only had full-on relationships with those who feel the same, so jealousy was never aroused. I actually enjoy slightly obsessive, possessive men - the leos and scorpios of this world!!
Casual sex is just casual sex - again no need for any jealousy where there is mutual respect and no emotional involvement, my fb's are my great friends.
In between the two there be dragons! | |||
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"Jealous in what sense? Fear of loss, paranoia of greater intimacy with another, feelings of low self worth, blood boiling despair, and empty tears and just loneliness forever.....you know a little jealousy!
Nah, not really. Even I'm jealous of me.
Such. A. Dude.
So many other nouns you could have put there.
There's so many things I'd like to put in so many places when it comes to you. "I'm not sure whether to be touched or scared | |||
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"I try to avoid them, but jealousy is the dark side of passion... "Yup, I am primal prey - I would love to be possessed by one I found worthy of it, the dynamic is exciting to me. | |||
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"I'm not sure if it's something that many would want to admit to? But yes, I get jealous. I realise it's because I'm comparing myself with another and there's little point - it will just lead to more negative emotions. Sometimes I go down the self loathing path 'Oh, I'm not as intelligent/attractive etc' but I do try to rationalise it as primarily being in my head. I know. I get annoyed with myself for succumbing to such base emotions when intellectually I know better (don't I?!), such a b*gger! And the self-loathing spiral of pity and doom is quite simply a damned nuisance when there's books to read and country walks to be had and so many more cheeses to try!! I like to think I'm artistically honing new skills, new depths of emotional turmoil that will ultimately make me a more complex and interesting soul for future paramours. The reality is it makes me a moody, teary wanker and I need to stop being a twat! "Well, I don't know the circumstances - but maybe, just maybe, you are having an entirely normal and authentic reaction and being true to yourself in a totally unnatural or unacceptable situation?? That's what this site often is - lets never forget that. | |||
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"Awww, bye bye 3-sum queen, we'll miss your lateral thinking!! " | |||
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"All emotions in the right doses are healthy. We are here to enhance what we have and with that openess comes many benefits but also pitfalls if not maintained and monitored on a healthy and regular basis...For me the pros far out ways the cons, I would never intentionally jeopardise what we have. We are very clear about what works for both of us and discuss it regularly...This too has strengthened our trust in one another and respect for us as a couple and each other as individuals. Some boundaries are limiting in some people's views but I feel that the mutual boundaries we have put in place are liberating in how they ensure the freedom of our openess enhances what we have, not threaten it. Great post as always Madame B" Enhance what you have? Does it mean that you aren't happy with what you have ? I'm not having a go, just genuinely curious. | |||
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"All emotions in the right doses are healthy. We are here to enhance what we have and with that openess comes many benefits but also pitfalls if not maintained and monitored on a healthy and regular basis...For me the pros far out ways the cons, I would never intentionally jeopardise what we have. We are very clear about what works for both of us and discuss it regularly...This too has strengthened our trust in one another and respect for us as a couple and each other as individuals. Some boundaries are limiting in some people's views but I feel that the mutual boundaries we have put in place are liberating in how they ensure the freedom of our openess enhances what we have, not threaten it. Great post as always Madame B Enhance what you have? Does it mean that you aren't happy with what you have ? I'm not having a go, just genuinely curious. " No sorry should have worded that more clearly...Enhance what we already have | |||
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"I sometimes get pangs of jealousy but try to work on it as soon as I realise " Yes | |||
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"All emotions in the right doses are healthy. We are here to enhance what we have and with that openess comes many benefits but also pitfalls if not maintained and monitored on a healthy and regular basis...For me the pros far out ways the cons, I would never intentionally jeopardise what we have. We are very clear about what works for both of us and discuss it regularly...This too has strengthened our trust in one another and respect for us as a couple and each other as individuals. Some boundaries are limiting in some people's views but I feel that the mutual boundaries we have put in place are liberating in how they ensure the freedom of our openess enhances what we have, not threaten it. Great post as always Madame B Enhance what you have? Does it mean that you aren't happy with what you have ? I'm not having a go, just genuinely curious. " I didn't read it as that they aren't happy I don't want to put words in their mouth but I read their post as saying something like this . The fact they feel jealous brings home how much value and worth the relationship has to them . I know such emotions bring it home to me and heightens my desire for a my fwb because of that fact jealousy although a negative emotion can make one realise that what one has is real and heighten ones emotional attachment to the other person making one more appropriative of them and what one has with them in process  | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? I would think we are all capable of jealousy. It's a human trait. Especially in a loving/caring relationship. Trust, honesty and communication are 3 necessities that spring to mind if it's to remain healthy. Our jealousy is minimal and very healthy. It has to be to enjoy what we do. " Trust, honesty and communication -- absolutely! It's interesting -- I keep reading the 'loving/caring relationship' bit of your comment -- I think it's the fear (crimony, perhaps realisation) that it's not a loving/caring relationship that I sometimes wonder jealousy might be an indicator of...? What about jealousy in friendships? Or perhaps that might indicate the power (or care) differential is unbalanced or that for one it's not simply friendship....mmmm you've made me ponder a few things! | |||
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"I try to avoid them, but jealousy is the dark side of passion... "It is, it is. | |||
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"I stay away from men with a wandering eye. In fact at the moment i'm just staying away from men full stop." Might need to follow this advice! | |||
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"Awww, bye bye 3-sum queen, we'll miss your lateral thinking!!
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"I get jealous. I have improved and acknowledge that it is generally a result of perceived emotional intimacy of my partner with a meet rather than the physical. It's difficult because neither of us fuck and go so a degree of intimacy is necessary, but it's a fine line! This swinging lark can be a minefield if the communication isn't there!" Swinging, relationships, life -- it's all a minefield and I fear I'm losing limbs. "Perceived emotional intimacy" yes, this is exactly it. I used to have that recurring experience/waking dream when in bed in the middle of the night and I heard a noise and was like "oh if I open my eyes there's going to be someone/something there -- a monster, someone trying to hurt me" -- and then my rational brain would calm me, my eyes would still be closed tightly shut, and I'd counsel myself at the unlikliness of this being real, there's no one there and then open my eyes and nothing and everything was okay. When I lived on my own once I had the same experience and my bed at the time had a window to a roof terrace right by it, I opened my eyes after calming myself only to discover there was an intruder climbing through the window. My point being, perceived emotional intimacy -- irrational until it becomes real, that's the fear -- and when you've had evidence even if only once for it being real it becomes harder and harder to trust its irrational. | |||
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"I dont get jealous as such. But what I do have issue with is a partner who is disrespecting you with their behaviour. Flirting and having a bit of banter with the opposite sex is acceptable but to take it too far and to be openly disrespectful to their partners feelings is another matter entirely. Again its about boundries and what each couple deems to be acceptable together. Some couples boundries are completely different to anothers. So again its what works for you as a couple that counts." Boundaries, communication and trust that partners understand them and will adhere to them is vital, yes | |||
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""Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." Maya Angelou How do you keep your surges of jealousy in the healthy range? I've never been jealous in a relationship: alien concept to me. However, as I'm losing my hair I'm jealous of those with glorious locks, especially men!" That damn Hatter for example?! | |||
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"This has been a great post to watch and read. It good to know I'm not alone with some of the things that are said. Being human eh?
"Yes | |||
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"Yeah there's much hotter and prettier women out there but when it comes to our relationship I just know that no matter what, B and I have an amazing connection and he can't get that anywhere else, so he's got to stick with me
H xx" | |||
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"Jealous in what sense? Fear of loss, paranoia of greater intimacy with another, feelings of low self worth, blood boiling despair, and empty tears and just loneliness forever.....you know a little jealousy!
Nah, not really. Even I'm jealous of me.
Such. A. Dude.
So many other nouns you could have put there.
There's so many things I'd like to put in so many places when it comes to you.
I'm not sure whether to be touched or scared "Both | |||
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