FabSwingers.com forum: Confidence and weight loss & gain

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What's your experience of losing weight or gaining weight and the effect it had on your confidence?

I personally think I don't look good carrying extra weight and other peoples comments are always more favourable about my appearance when I'm at a lighter weight.

Apparently I look more attractive facially too when im at my ideal weight.

These nice comments which I have appreciated have also made me a little paranoid of gaining any extra weight. So I'm constantly watching what I eat and how much excercise to do.

Bit of a double edge sword for me I suppose?

Anyone experienced anything similar to how weight gain/loss has affected their lives?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive actually become less confident since losing over 6 stone. It defies logic but thats how I feel x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ive actually become less confident since losing over 6 stone. It defies logic but thats how I feel x "

Any idea why its made you feel like that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My body confidence hasn't changed. I started off a size 10/12, in my late teens/early 20s,put on 9 stone in a year-size 20/22 and now am 14st 10, size 18/20. I'm as happy stripping off naked now as I was back when I was a size 10. Clothing looked better on me then though, but that doesn't bother me; what bothers me is the extra pain and tiredness the weight causes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put up lot of weight after 4 kids in less than 4 years.hated sight of myself.lost good bit but still have bit to go.my tummy will never be what it was but feel so much better in myself since losing it

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Ive actually become less confident since losing over 6 stone. It defies logic but thats how I feel x "

I understand this. I've also lost a significant amount of weight and I feel a fair bit less confident in an odd sense?

Before, when I went out, I would find I didn't receive the same kind of sexual attention. And I wasn't so aware of my big arse or boobs and when I dressed my clothes didn't really emphasise areas as they were smock like but cute. I want to show my shape now but every time I do I get unwanted comments.

I also find it harder to believe people find me attractive at the size I am currently. I can't explain that one without a huge stream of incoherent consciousness so will leave that one as is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive actually become less confident since losing over 6 stone. It defies logic but thats how I feel x "

I'm the same I lost loads 8 stone but the lose skin made me so conscious. Since I could never afford the surgery I decided to put some the weight back on to feel more comfortable in my self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went from nine stone and looking like a skeleton to 14 stone of mostly fat to my furrent 13.5 stone of a decent fat to musxle balance.

Got stretch marks everywhere though

Hips, thighs, calves, biceps, shoulders, chest sides etc.

Not arsed though just adds to my scar colleftion lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Between Jan 2015 and last summer I lost 3 and a half stone. I've since regained some of that and I'm trying to lose it again. It didn't really have an impact on my confidence, but I only went down one dress size so it wasn't really a visible difference. If anything, I probably looked better before I started, with bigger boobs and bum and less stomach overhang. But it was for health reasons so looks weren't my motivation anyway. It stopped my back hurting and that's the important thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confidence for me didn't come from weight loss even though iv lost a fair bit recently, it came from within, accepting who I am, not fearing others judgements, putting myself out there & realising people will talk with me, find me nice, funny & sexy regardless of aesthetics!

Once I stopped worrying about what others think & got on with enjoying life I discovered I was smiling more & it's infectious people usually smile back, laugh more which leads to more smiling, singing & dancing about, in general just happier & people around me are responding in a positive way!

We can project our own negativity or positivity that heavily affects our day to day experiences!

I'd say quite literally never mind the haters or their opinions, live life, have fun & be free

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Ive actually become less confident since losing over 6 stone. It defies logic but thats how I feel x

I'm the same I lost loads 8 stone but the lose skin made me so conscious. Since I could never afford the surgery I decided to put some the weight back on to feel more comfortable in my self. "

This

I hate the loose skin as much as the fat and in some ways more!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive actually become less confident since losing over 6 stone. It defies logic but thats how I feel x

I'm the same I lost loads 8 stone but the lose skin made me so conscious. Since I could never afford the surgery I decided to put some the weight back on to feel more comfortable in my self.

This

I hate the loose skin as much as the fat and in some ways more!

"
see im lucky as I seem to have toned up at the same time... for me its down to the very worst things that happened to me happened when I was slim.. so my weight was a protective thing... When your bigger if you dont want attention you tend not to get it.

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

My weight crept up - due to complacency, laziness and greed to be honest - after the birth of my youngest. I then lost 4 stone around 10 years ago which I've more or less kept off ... I do tend to put a bit on in Winter when I'm less active, and indulge myself over Xmas ... but always tackle it if I put on a stone more than the weight I want to be.

I definitely feel more confident when I'm at, or close to, my ideal weight. I think I look better, but my clothes also feel more comfortable and I have much more energy too. However - after losing so much weight that time, I was very bemused by the attention I suddenly got from some quarters when previously I'd been pretty much part of the background. I'll never know if it was simply about the way I looked, or, because my improved confidence made me more attractive but it certainly gave me food for thought and took the edge off my achievement a little because it made me question how shallow some people were. And I don't necessarily mean attraction, because we all have preferences and can't help that, but, for example, some other school mums who more or less ignored me beforehand all of a sudden decided I was worth chatting to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've lost weight in past couple of years an feel a lot better for it - still have more to go but my confidence hasn't increased as I still see me as the way I was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sunday the 8th of January I weighed 11stone 11lbs that's an almost 3 stone weight gain in 18 months. No exercising and a real stressful year, custody and court battles with my ex, was really sad and stressed and worried and found the only thing that made me happy was bad food, chip shop, take aways, pizzas, chocolate, crisps, scotch eggs full fat . I just ate and ate. I feel shit being this size, none of my clothes fit me, have muffin top, double chins. I wouldn't meet anyone and be naked in this current state. On Wednesday last week I was 11stone 2lbs so lost 9lbs in 10 days.

Need another 2 stone off at least.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'll always remember i was in a pub in town with a few friends when a pretty girl came over to me and asked if my name was ***** ******? I said yes thats me

Then she said I used to work with you a few years ago but hardly recognised you as youve put weight on

She said she thought I looked alot better before the weight gain

The guys i was with obviously found this hilarious.

But her comment really did affect my self esteem .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My weight crept up - due to complacency, laziness and greed to be honest - after the birth of my youngest. I then lost 4 stone around 10 years ago which I've more or less kept off ... I do tend to put a bit on in Winter when I'm less active, and indulge myself over Xmas ... but always tackle it if I put on a stone more than the weight I want to be.

I experienced that the other way round when I gained weight after being slimmer when I was younger. It's not about attraction, as you say, it's about treating other people as decent human beings which is sometimes sadly lacking if they're fat. I certainly wouldn't eat in public at my current size, for example.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

feel more confident at this weight. know most of me looks shapely and i have no hang ups being naked at all.

although i didn't work hard to get to this weight (it took years) i am 6 stone lighter than after i had my last child.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I felt confident as a fatty, I felt confident when I started losing the weight. I got a bit pissed off with myself for going the wrong way and gaining a few lbs over the last few months but I haven't lost confidence as such; more an awareness of not wanting to undo the hard work.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Oh and I have never been slim or had a standard good body in my entire life. So even though I know I look different to how I used to I still think with that ingrained wanting to hide my size mentality I grew up with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

now my cPTSD symptoms are slowly improving i'm getting more mentally confident. love feeling like this way more than body confident.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Losing weight and getting slimmer has made me so much more confident!

I can wear nicer clothes and look better in underwear which makes me more confident in the bedroom.

H xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care what others think. There are people heavier and thinner.

I'm using a gym, mainly weights for toning..

Slow progress for my health.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Apart from eating "less" .... what eating plans have worked besr for you ..

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Apart from eating "less" .... what eating plans have worked besr for you .."

Eating times have made a difference. I try to eat in the same window each 24 hours. And exercising every day; even doing a small amount if I really don't feel like it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Apart from eating "less" .... what eating plans have worked besr for you ..

Eating times have made a difference. I try to eat in the same window each 24 hours. And exercising every day; even doing a small amount if I really don't feel like it. "

Do you think avoiding eating late in the evening makes any difference?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apart from eating "less" .... what eating plans have worked besr for you .."

eating properly.

more healthy food, less crap. really is that simple. especially if you tell yourself that 'treats' are not treats but just crap your body doesn't need. indulge in them occasionally by all means but don't fool yourself that unhealthy stuff is a reward or something to look forward to.

looking after yourself is the kindest thing you can do for yourself, and you deserve that.

getting enough sleep helps a lot as you have the energy to move faster and for longer.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Apart from eating "less" .... what eating plans have worked besr for you ..

Eating times have made a difference. I try to eat in the same window each 24 hours. And exercising every day; even doing a small amount if I really don't feel like it.

Do you think avoiding eating late in the evening makes any difference?"

Not for me. My eat window is between 4 and 11.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm either too fat or have major saggy boobs...

Either way I feel horrendous naked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I definitely feel more confident when I'm at a more comfortable weight. I hate being overweight. I feel unsexy and uncomfortable. It just doesn't suit me. The only thing I like is that my boobs don't look like spaniel ears like they do when I lose weight. I'm at my most confident when I'm about 2 stone lighter than I am now. The comments of others have no bearing on that confidence either. I've had some lovely compliments while I'm fatter and they really don't help.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

At my fattest I was 21 stones and had a ton of unwanted attention. I wasn't lacking in confidence either!

Now I look like my photos and my smug bitch face means I get no attention at all.

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By *hekaiserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

At my "peak" i weighed in at 16 stone. I had no idea how horrible I looked until I camee across a pic of me...double chin etc.

I lost 3 stones as I was desperate for the attention of a woman I liked. We dated for 3 months before she ended it.

I stopped going to the gym and gained a stone...I have always weighed in between 14 and 15 stones. Following a serious health scare a couple of years back and the lose of another stunning lady I am adament to get to under 13 stone...I will have to buy a new wardrobe again..but I really dont care as I want to get rid of my belly!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Losing weight has no effect on my meets success rate which gives me hope for the men on here.

I have to work too hard to get to my 'ideal weight' and I lose my boobs, so I stay between 13 and 14 stone and am happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've lost 10 kilos in the last year due to a massive change in my diet. It has given me a slight boost in confidence.

But I started drinking over Christmas though, and I'm struggling to stop - 3 litres yesterday ! I need to lose another 5-10 kilos - it's hard work.

Tempted to try DNP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I the only woman who feels sexy even though I'm fat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost 4 stone in the last 18 months and in some ways I feel I'm not the "fat" one of the group which is nice. However, I find myself self conscious in other ways now

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Am I the only woman who feels sexy even though I'm fat? "

No, I'm still fat and feel sexy quite often. Just not confident. I don't know why there's a difference but there is to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I the only woman who feels sexy even though I'm fat? "

I would feel sexy if I didn't find painting my toenails a struggle. That isn't sexy!

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Am I the only woman who feels sexy even though I'm fat? "

No. I know I'm sexy regardless. How fat I am is all about how I perceive me and has nothing to do with how I might feel about anyone else perceiving me. I am less confident when I look at myself on my own, if that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I the only woman who feels sexy even though I'm fat?

Does the way the men you are with treat you make you feel confident?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I the only woman who feels sexy even though I'm fat?

I would feel sexy if I didn't find painting my toenails a struggle. That isn't sexy!"

I get my granddaughter to do mine. Although, I can do them myself, it's just a bit painful on my back.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Am I the only woman who feels sexy even though I'm fat?

Does the way the men you are with treat you make you feel confident? "

No, although I have never been with a guy that has said anything derogatory about it (in which case I fear it might have the opposite effect). I just know me and know what I don't physically like about myself but it doesn't occur to me that that matters a hoop to anyone else. If it did, then I would probably phase them out before we ever met. The guys I have been with who have expressed a visual preference have been about the face first and foremost and that I am confident in, mainly because changing that is totally beyond my own control so there's no point in not being so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have gotten more sex fat than I ever did in my thinner times.

My confidence isn't affected by my weight. I am pretty confident guy, fat or thin.

That said, I have moments of extreme self awareness if I am the centre of attention.

I dislike being the centre of attention to the degree of it verging on a phobia.

Again though, that figures fat or thin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never felt sexy regardless of what size I've been.

It's just not something I see myself as being.

I can look ok with my hair done and makeup on but sexy no.

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By *ubSirVient-DefinitionCouple
over a year ago

dukinfield

"At my fattest I was 21 stones and had a ton of unwanted attention. I wasn't lacking in confidence either!

Now I look like my photos and my smug bitch face means I get no attention at all."

Wow that's some loss that hun well done.

I used to have the confidence of a roaring lion and could a throw myself into the mix of any social situation.

I quit smoking and banged loads on. My confidence took a massive hit. Thankfully I have a wonderful Mrs who loves me for who I am and now is giving me the encouragement I need to shift it all. Hard graft but it will be worth it for her!

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

My weight has absolutely nothing to do with my confidence.

I have been thin and had none, also been fat and had none. My confidence these days comes from feeling good about myself from the inside and feeling secure in my relationships with family, friends and my husband.

That being said, I am doing slimming world in order to get healthier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have never felt sexy regardless of what size I've been.

It's just not something I see myself as being.

I can look ok with my hair done and makeup on but sexy no.

Not even when you're with a man in bed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slimmer me is just an average middle aged bald guy, nothing 'special'

Bigger me taps into a niche where followers tend to be very enthusiastic about meeting up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have never felt sexy regardless of what size I've been.

It's just not something I see myself as being.

I can look ok with my hair done and makeup on but sexy no.

Not even when you're with a man in bed? "

No, never.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

My weight is the lowest it's been in over 20 yrs, and I have to admit I've not felt this confident since my late teens. I imagine it's mostly to do with splitting from my ex, who took great pleasure in putting me down daily, calling me names and telling me how the only thing I was successful at was failure. So...a combination for me, they went hand in hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I the only woman who feels sexy even though I'm fat? "

No I can, and do, and probably did more frequently when I was fatter. But I'm up and down with it, sometimes I feel incredibly sexy and other times I disgust myself. I can't manage consistency.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've lost 10 kilos in the last year due to a massive change in my diet. It has given me a slight boost in confidence.

But I started drinking over Christmas though, and I'm struggling to stop - 3 litres yesterday ! I need to lose another 5-10 kilos - it's hard work.

Tempted to try DNP."

Don't use DNP or if you're going to please say you know what you're doing. That stuff will literally cook your internal organs and you will die if you take the incorrect doseage. You have to know your exact weight and monitor it daily and adjust your dose accordingly with any weightloss. If you stop drinking 3 litres of a day you'd lose weight for a start that's a ridiculous amount to drink and such a waste of calories that you could be eating instead and not even starting on the amount of sugar

Just drink water or even squash wouldn't be as bad.

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By *rMrs-Luv-ItCouple
over a year ago

cwmbranish

I was around 9st for as long as i can remember but the last 3 months i have gained a stone n half from a size 8/10 to a 12 + due to my chemo its taking some getting use to am not liking the muffin top thing at all .

Before anyone rips in to me i know 10 n half stone is not huge but its a big change for me (jo)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost a lot of weight. I mean A LOT.

I still think of myself a little like I used to and for a long time struggled to find my social role in a group. I was the 'funny fat one' for so long and I suppose I could hide all my loopy insecurities behind that.

Isn't it silly how body shape can define us?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Can't say I've noticed much difference and I've been from a size 8 to a size 32 always been by confident happy go lucky self regardless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lost a lot of weight. I mean A LOT.

Isn't it silly how body shape can define us? "

I thought it was funny when in the early 2000's women were encouraged to categorise themselves under such lovely headings like 'pear'. Yeah, work it ladies, work that pear.

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By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow

I'm a lot more confident now having lost 24st, although the excess skin I have makes me uneasy. I would be happier weighing less but that would mean even more excess skin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I float around a lean 12-13 stone. Back when l trained, l more confident because l also felt more powerful and athletic. Like a coiled spring. Now l feel weaker.

It's was less about aesthetics for me. In the real world, people don't usually comment on our bodies, even to compliment.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

I lost 2 stone last year and felt lovely and slim but underneath my skin was lose and horrible and made me feel shite naked

I have since put a stone back in and feel a lot better

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By *ddit...Man
over a year ago

Land of the giants... ;-)

"What's your experience of losing weight or gaining weight and the effect it had on your confidence?

I personally think I don't look good carrying extra weight and other peoples comments are always more favourable about my appearance when I'm at a lighter weight.

Apparently I look more attractive facially too when im at my ideal weight.

These nice comments which I have appreciated have also made me a little paranoid of gaining any extra weight. So I'm constantly watching what I eat and how much excercise to do.

Bit of a double edge sword for me I suppose?

Anyone experienced anything similar to how weight gain/loss has affected their lives?

"
I had always been confident in my work but not socially very confident... I am 6ft 4... I weighed 20 stone 2 years ago... I now weigh my ideal weight of just under 14 stone... my confidence has gone through the roof... but hasn't stopped me changing who I am attracted too... including ladies with a figure...

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By *ddit...Man
over a year ago

Land of the giants... ;-)

"I've lost 10 kilos in the last year due to a massive change in my diet. It has given me a slight boost in confidence.

But I started drinking over Christmas though, and I'm struggling to stop - 3 litres yesterday ! I need to lose another 5-10 kilos - it's hard work.

Tempted to try DNP.

Just drink water or even squash wouldn't be as bad. "
agreed... I don't know much about dnp. .. but if you stopped drinking that much ... I guarantee you will lose the weight.. and lower the risk of diebeties. ... I drink decaff tea and coffee a lot... and whisky... hic hic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's your experience of losing weight or gaining weight and the effect it had on your confidence?

I personally think I don't look good carrying extra weight and other peoples comments are always more favourable about my appearance when I'm at a lighter weight.

Apparently I look more attractive facially too when im at my ideal weight.

These nice comments which I have appreciated have also made me a little paranoid of gaining any extra weight. So I'm constantly watching what I eat and how much excercise to do.

Bit of a double edge sword for me I suppose?

Anyone experienced anything similar to how weight gain/loss has affected their lives?

I have put on weight and hate the sight of my body. I have got to the point I don't want to go out. Only place I am going is work. I start a meal replacement diet today and hoping for good results as I have my holiday in 4 months

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"What's your experience of losing weight or gaining weight and the effect it had on your confidence?

I personally think I don't look good carrying extra weight and other peoples comments are always more favourable about my appearance when I'm at a lighter weight.

Apparently I look more attractive facially too when im at my ideal weight.

These nice comments which I have appreciated have also made me a little paranoid of gaining any extra weight. So I'm constantly watching what I eat and how much excercise to do.

Bit of a double edge sword for me I suppose?

Anyone experienced anything similar to how weight gain/loss has affected their lives?

I've been a size 22/24 for as long as I can remember. I've married, had children, worked all at that size. The only time I was self conscious is when I first started out in my career. That wasn't my size, it was the fact I was a black woman in a white male oriented field.

My size has never hindered me from doing what I want. However, as I'm getting older the less weight I carry the more I'll enjoy life. I have two grandchildren and another two due this year. As I'm now retired I'm free to help out. Last two weeks I've been enjoying a walking holiday in Sardinia with friends to kick start my year long get fit campaign.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've lost 10 kilos in the last year due to a massive change in my diet. It has given me a slight boost in confidence.

But I started drinking over Christmas though, and I'm struggling to stop - 3 litres yesterday ! I need to lose another 5-10 kilos - it's hard work.

Tempted to try DNP."

I'd stop drinking that much unless you want to lose all your teeth. Seriously. Stop.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I've never had much body confidence. However 6 years ago I was a size 12 and thought I was fat. Now im a size 18 I know I am. Stress, comfort eating and actually not eating enough because I skipped meals have got me here.

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've never had much body confidence. However 6 years ago I was a size 12 and thought I was fat. Now im a size 18 I know I am. Stress, comfort eating and actually not eating enough because I skipped meals have got me here.

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size. "

I just dont look good body wise or facially when im carrying too much weight.

My body can carry a few extra pounds well as i have a broad frame.

But any weight i put on goes straight on my face and jawline first and it definately doesnt suit me as im personally aware and also from honest coments of others.

So its always a struggle to maintain my ideal weight.

I look better and more attractive when im not carrying any extra weight.

If i looked better heavier id have no problem being happy heavier though.

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I've lost around 10 kg by going gym every week, though I only do weights and not cardio (had no intrest in weight loss just getting stronger and fitter)

I now love the gym, my body fat has apparently plummeted, though I still see same fat guy in mirror.

My new confidence comes not from loosing weight, but from side effects of workouts.

My muscles feel pumped

My posture is far far better

In walk around with my head up shoulders back

I bought new clothes

And I actually groom and look after myself more.

I also quit , which as a nightmare as it was only caffeine I drink (hate hot drinks) now I drink cranberry juice and caffeine headaches are starved off with pre workout drinks

Results, I look better, dress better, stand tall (so many men slouch now or walk around like all pride has been beaten out of them) all this comes over as confidence.

I even pack a gym kit now, rather than just wear it to the gym.. a tracksuit on a rtner old guy should only be in a gym, sport field.... not in thrbstreat making you look like Rab C Nesbit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size. "

I can relate to this, I've lost over 50lbs in the past on the Weightwatchers diet, I may have looked better physically but mentally nothing had changed for me. It didn't make my self esteem better. Confidence comes from inside and that's something I need to work on more than what I look on the outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size.

Sorry but ive heard the exact same arguments from so many people with depression and other problems.

You can't wait to get better then move on.

Youve got to change and then later (often a long time later) you'll feel differnt.

Those who sit around waiting to be better before they change are still sat waiting.

Because it never happens, you wont just feel good one day, you wont just feel confident, you wont ever just be better

The feeling only comes after youve fixed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size.

Sorry but ive heard the exact same arguments from so many people with depression and other problems.

You can't wait to get better then move on.

Youve got to change and then later (often a long time later) you'll feel differnt.

Those who sit around waiting to be better before they change are still sat waiting.

Because it never happens, you wont just feel good one day, you wont just feel confident, you wont ever just be better

The feeling only comes after youve fixed it"

Looking good and feeling good are too completely different things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two, not too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size.

Sorry but ive heard the exact same arguments from so many people with depression and other problems.

You can't wait to get better then move on.

Youve got to change and then later (often a long time later) you'll feel differnt.

Those who sit around waiting to be better before they change are still sat waiting.

Because it never happens, you wont just feel good one day, you wont just feel confident, you wont ever just be better

The feeling only comes after youve fixed it

Looking good and feeling good are too completely different things "

Yep.

But you wont suddenly feel good one day and then go "ah great now i can lose weight without any of the issues i had in the past"

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size.

Sorry but ive heard the exact same arguments from so many people with depression and other problems.

You can't wait to get better then move on.

Youve got to change and then later (often a long time later) you'll feel differnt.

Those who sit around waiting to be better before they change are still sat waiting.

Because it never happens, you wont just feel good one day, you wont just feel confident, you wont ever just be better

The feeling only comes after youve fixed it

Looking good and feeling good are too completely different things

Yep.

But you wont suddenly feel good one day and then go "ah great now i can lose weight without any of the issues i had in the past""

Depression and complexity of emotional eating are two very different issues. They can be connected but not always and as you say you can't feel better in one day, same as you can't change it it one day, it's a process, one that you can't genuinely change until you want and have the motivation to and you'll not understand unless you suffer with being an emotional eater, the Ines that don't understand it fob it off as "an excuse". A person trying to combat emotional eating will go through a similar journey to that of any recovering addict

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size.

Sorry but ive heard the exact same arguments from so many people with depression and other problems.

You can't wait to get better then move on.

Youve got to change and then later (often a long time later) you'll feel differnt.

Those who sit around waiting to be better before they change are still sat waiting.

Because it never happens, you wont just feel good one day, you wont just feel confident, you wont ever just be better

The feeling only comes after youve fixed it"

I disagree. I wont see results I'll get more upset and the cycle will spiral.

I don't think I have depression, I have an incredibly stressful life at times. I don't smoke, I don't drink so food has become an emotional comfort. I wont feel anymore guilty for that than someone who smokes or has a bottle of wine every night.

I also have a real issue with a lot of what you say.. its as if somehow someone overweight won't ever or shouldn't like themselves as they are!

Fact is I'd rather like myself fat than loose weight and shift my self loathing to another aspect of my life. Sadly I know thats just what would happen if I woke up slim tomorrow.

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

As to results it's an interesting subject. Some can go and keep focus waiting for long term results, while other quit due to lack of results.

I did the second option several times, until I found a fix.

I simply chose a body part and a machine I hated and hit it hard.. once I saw a result I added another excercise and repeated the process.

Once you can see its having some effect, it's a lot easier to get going.

Also remember, it's not what the others are lifting or running, it's all about what works for you. Don't go in copy others do to much and get injured.. injuries are just extra excuses to skip a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size.

Sorry but ive heard the exact same arguments from so many people with depression and other problems.

You can't wait to get better then move on.

Youve got to change and then later (often a long time later) you'll feel differnt.

Those who sit around waiting to be better before they change are still sat waiting.

Because it never happens, you wont just feel good one day, you wont just feel confident, you wont ever just be better

The feeling only comes after youve fixed it

Looking good and feeling good are too completely different things

Yep.

But you wont suddenly feel good one day and then go "ah great now i can lose weight without any of the issues i had in the past"

And tbh the depression stuff hold true for addicts too.

All the prople i know who have sat and waited to get better from group etc are still over weight, still drug adicts, still depressed.

The people who went out and changed who struggled and failed and carried on (well except those who died) aren't.

Its not easy, but waiting for the day you dont need to cut, dont need to eat or dont need to inject means you'll be waiting forever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I could go on a strict diet and hit the gym, however until I learn to actually like myself it will not work.. I've been there and done it.

So that's where I am,trying to learn not to be defined by my dress size.

Sorry but ive heard the exact same arguments from so many people with depression and other problems.

You can't wait to get better then move on.

Youve got to change and then later (often a long time later) you'll feel differnt.

Those who sit around waiting to be better before they change are still sat waiting.

Because it never happens, you wont just feel good one day, you wont just feel confident, you wont ever just be better

The feeling only comes after youve fixed it

I disagree. I wont see results I'll get more upset and the cycle will spiral.

I also have a real issue with a lot of what you say.. its as if somehow someone overweight won't ever or shouldn't like themselves as they are!

Fact is I'd rather like myself fat than loose weight and shift my self loathing to another aspect of my life. Sadly I know thats just what would happen if I woke up slim tomorrow. "

All im saying is change doesnt happen till you change.

Waiting to feel better so you can start changing what you think is wrong doesnt work.

Its the cart before the horse

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