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No sexual focus

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This isn't a 'woe is me' thread complaining about lack of meets, just wondering if anyone feels the same way

My sexual history amounts to six women.One teenage fumble,a best forgotten virginity pact with a female friend, a rather confused relationship with an equally confused girl, and a brief meet with a girl on here which has evolved into a general platonic sort of friendship.

So, of the remaining two, there was a filthy one off with an ex work colleague and twenty odd years of strife with my wife, who I really don't get on with and don't get intimate with

When I get the urge for a wank therefore, I don't really have much inspiration anymore .I'm not a big fan of porn, I prefer to use my imagination or recall past encounters, but there's nothing that gets me going these days.I need a new sexual focus but have hit a brick wall.There's a girl at work I fancy like hell, but for some reason I can't get her into my wank bank!

Any thoughts?

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"This isn't a 'woe is me' thread complaining about lack of meets, just wondering if anyone feels the same way

My sexual history amounts to six women.One teenage fumble,a best forgotten virginity pact with a female friend, a rather confused relationship with an equally confused girl, and a brief meet with a girl on here which has evolved into a general platonic sort of friendship.

So, of the remaining two, there was a filthy one off with an ex work colleague and twenty odd years of strife with my wife, who I really don't get on with and don't get intimate with

When I get the urge for a wank therefore, I don't really have much inspiration anymore .I'm not a big fan of porn, I prefer to use my imagination or recall past encounters, but there's nothing that gets me going these days.I need a new sexual focus but have hit a brick wall.There's a girl at work I fancy like hell, but for some reason I can't get her into my wank bank!

Any thoughts?"
sounds like something is changing inside, in your inner world to me something a bit deeper than switching focus..

have you tried just journalling all your thoughts and feelings, about where you are just now and see what comes out of that, focus on you time..without prying or drawing assumptions, id offer that as a step forward xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Suzy, you're probably right.I know I've changed a lot in the last few years and have spent a lot of time reflecting on the past rather than looking to the future

By journalled, I assume you mean a type of diary? I do write a lot about my thoughts and experiences, mainly for my own benefit.Maybe its not actually a sexual focus I need, just someone on my side and take it from there? I just know that for now I'm totally bored and maybe that's affected my libido

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

[Removed by poster at 20/01/17 22:15:11]

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"Suzy, you're probably right.I know I've changed a lot in the last few years and have spent a lot of time reflecting on the past rather than looking to the future

By journalled, I assume you mean a type of diary? I do write a lot about my thoughts and experiences, mainly for my own benefit.Maybe its not actually a sexual focus I need, just someone on my side and take it from there? I just know that for now I'm totally bored and maybe that's affected my libido"
so how about reviewing what has happened and writing about the now..i dont journal every day. i journal when im processing and i havent reached any conclusions and i dont talk much to others when im in that state as my processing may be highly abstract to them, then they get concerned, while i see it as a process..i start to write i write down associating words, tangents and my own questions without reflection, doesnt have to make any sense...then after ive finished i generally see something im focused on without knowing it..yours maybe 'boredom',,if i get stuck i brainstorm on that one aspect...i find the causes, then allow my practicality to balance out the inner conflict...not 'the' way, just a way, to show cause, symptom and patterns within , from where you can take action/ control and decisive pathways without suppression of the whole xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the suggestions and the time spent on your replies. Its given me some food for thought, as I said earlier, I don't want it to become a woeful post.

There's things which have contributed to how I feel which I don't want to discuss open forum, but just by writing it down in the initial post, its possible to see a bit of clarity

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"Thanks for the suggestions and the time spent on your replies. Its given me some food for thought, as I said earlier, I don't want it to become a woeful post.

There's things which have contributed to how I feel which I don't want to discuss open forum, but just by writing it down in the initial post, its possible to see a bit of clarity"
i picked up on that..you know this stuff sweet, it wouldnt be any good anyone telling you either..you got to see it for yourself xx sending you lots of support via the ether xxx much love to you and your journey xx

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I just know that for now I'm totally bored and maybe that's affected my libido"

That will very likely be it. You need to get to a happy place mentally then the libido could follow?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for the suggestions and the time spent on your replies. Its given me some food for thought, as I said earlier, I don't want it to become a woeful post.

There's things which have contributed to how I feel which I don't want to discuss open forum, but just by writing it down in the initial post, its possible to see a bit of clarityi picked up on that..you know this stuff sweet, it wouldnt be any good anyone telling you either..you got to see it for yourself xx sending you lots of support via the ether xxx much love to you and your journey xx"

Thank you xx I suppose some would say, "leave this site, forget about the whole sex side of things until you get your head straight " but it helps to have somewhere where I can post rubbish on the forums and not have to worry about 'decency'lol.

I'm not expecting to meet anyone,, just good to talk , meanwhile give me head a wobble!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just know that for now I'm totally bored and maybe that's affected my libido

That will very likely be it. You need to get to a happy place mentally then the libido could follow?"

You're dead right of course, I think the happy place is a bumpy road away, but a journey I need to set out on asap

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"Thanks for the suggestions and the time spent on your replies. Its given me some food for thought, as I said earlier, I don't want it to become a woeful post.

There's things which have contributed to how I feel which I don't want to discuss open forum, but just by writing it down in the initial post, its possible to see a bit of clarityi picked up on that..you know this stuff sweet, it wouldnt be any good anyone telling you either..you got to see it for yourself xx sending you lots of support via the ether xxx much love to you and your journey xx

Thank you xx I suppose some would say, "leave this site, forget about the whole sex side of things until you get your head straight " but it helps to have somewhere where I can post rubbish on the forums and not have to worry about 'decency'lol.

I'm not expecting to meet anyone,, just good to talk , meanwhile give me head a wobble!"
anytime xx

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