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Losing your parents

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By *ust Rachel OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I have a mate who lost their mother 5 years ago, her dad was given a year to live back in March.

Apart from the obvious thing of grieving over her last parent dying, she is dreading being the matriarch.

Is this normal?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I would say so. The saddest thing I've had to see is my dad comforting his sister as the curtin closed on my nan's coffin. Holding each other knowing they were now the only ones left of their family (I know they have their own families but they have lost their parents and a brother, my aunt's twin)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Yes, it's normal.

It doesn't matter how much you prepare for it, you never know quite how you will react.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think there is 'normal' when grieving.

I do think people take on new responsibilities in the family dynamic. When my nan died, no one really stepped in to the matriarchal role and the family has felt fragmented since

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

sometimes the role falls to you before they die.

I think its normal if she doesn't relish the idea.

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By *ust Rachel OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

She is preparing herself for her mum dying, in as best as you can in her situation.

But she is finding the hurdle of not having anyone to turn to.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"She is preparing herself for her mum dying, in as best as you can in her situation.

But she is finding the hurdle of not having anyone to turn to."

Poor woman . Would she consider contacting one of the bereavement charities

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes very likely it is xxx

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By *ust Rachel OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham


"She is preparing herself for her mum dying, in as best as you can in her situation.

But she is finding the hurdle of not having anyone to turn to.

Poor woman . Would she consider contacting one of the bereavement charities"

I will mention it to her, she might go to them.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

[Removed by poster at 09/01/17 03:38:30]

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I lost my dad in 2011

My mum is very ill and has been for years.I've had the call from the hospital several times. (She has end stage COPD and various other things) I am an only child.

It's a bit shit. I don't have a big extended family. For me the feeling that I'm the only one left is haunting me. And all the expectation that is placed on me regarding dealing with my mum.

I'm a single mum of 3- children they come first to me. Throw in work to that mix and that pressure feels even worse.

My advice is simply to be there for your friend as much as possible. Her head is likely all over the place and its all normal x

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I lost both my parents years ago. I felt orphaned, and that all the questions I wanted to ask about them would never be answered.

Hugs to your friend, and to you for being such a good friend, too xxx

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