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Alternative ways to drop the hint….

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

….that you are not impressed with the couple/single you have just met.

Tie a 6 foot length of old floorboard across the roof of your car in preparation. The board should be tied in such a manner than it can be easily slid sideways to protrude 3-4 foot over the side of the car.

Upon leaving the pub/bar/McDonalds, as your meet asks “So is it back to yours for some fun?”, don your eye patch and plastic hook hand. Whilst adjusting the position of the timber, reply “Tiz ye plank for you. ya scurvy land luver”

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if in the middle of shagging and I want to change position, I text them...

they get off to answer the text.

RESULT.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"if in the middle of shagging and I want to change position, I text them...

they get off to answer the text.

RESULT."

Class!! need to put that one into practice tonight lol

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

For me, I usually hold up "Apprentice" Green 'HIRED' or Red 'FIRED' cards!

It gets the message through in a jovial way!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"For me, I usually hold up "Apprentice" Green 'HIRED' or Red 'FIRED' cards!

It gets the message through in a jovial way!"

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

One of these envelops contains a ‘hot lovin’ voucher, the other two contain a ‘sorry no thanks’ message. You may notice there are only two envelops and I have ripped-up the ‘hot lovin’ voucher…. would you like to choose an envelop?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The simplest of methods work the best.

If you don't like someone then use:

"your sister was much more adventurous."

If you do like them then use:

"tell your sister not to bother on Friday."

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Start snoring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Start snoring"

Siren goes into the other room when I do that!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

'Accidentally' leave a fake GUM report on the seat when you go to the loo saying you have 3 different STD's and crabs.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"'Accidentally' leave a fake GUM report on the seat when you go to the loo saying you have 3 different STD's and crabs. "

You use the Intellectual method?

Nice One

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"'Accidentally' leave a fake GUM report on the seat when you go to the loo saying you have 3 different STD's and crabs.

You use the Intellectual method?

Nice One "

Shite. I don't wan't that getting out though!! I have a reputation to keep down!

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Just in case they can't read, whilst in the toilets but a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk down the back of your pants. On retirn makle sure you mention the lack of toilet paper.

By the time you have finished your drink and are ready to leave the chocolate will have melted. Drop your keys and make sure your butt is right infront of their face as you bend over to pick up your keys. If you can manage a little bubbly fart through the brown matter, bonus!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just in case they can't read, whilst in the toilets but a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk down the back of your pants. On retirn makle sure you mention the lack of toilet paper.

By the time you have finished your drink and are ready to leave the chocolate will have melted. Drop your keys and make sure your butt is right infront of their face as you bend over to pick up your keys. If you can manage a little bubbly fart through the brown matter, bonus!"

Only someone who has done that could come up with that. Always knew you were a dirty little minx!

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Alternatively type all your messages whilst on a conference call…

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Just in case they can't read, whilst in the toilets but a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk down the back of your pants. On retirn makle sure you mention the lack of toilet paper.

By the time you have finished your drink and are ready to leave the chocolate will have melted. Drop your keys and make sure your butt is right infront of their face as you bend over to pick up your keys. If you can manage a little bubbly fart through the brown matter, bonus!"

Disgusting but oh so funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if in the middle of shagging and I want to change position, I text them...

they get off to answer the text.

RESULT.

Class!! need to put that one into practice tonight lol "

Yeah phones off now then lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hands up all those who are getting some tonight! What have you got your hand up for?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Hands up all those who are getting some tonight!""

It's usually fish and chips on fridays but we're having a BBQ instead.

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

How to tell the minger 'no'

Bloody hell I've got to go!

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hands up for group sex yaaaay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

….that you are not impressed with the couple/single you have just met.

Tie a 6 foot length of old floorboard across the roof of your car in preparation. The board should be tied in such a manner than it can be easily slid sideways to protrude 3-4 foot over the side of the car.

Upon leaving the pub/bar/McDonalds, as your meet asks “So is it back to yours for some fun?”, don your eye patch and plastic hook hand. Whilst adjusting the position of the timber, reply “Tiz ye plank for you. ya scurvy land luver”

"

Soooooo fook off wont work then ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alternatively type all your messages whilst on a conference call…

"

oops.

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I'd offer you a lift but I think you have stood in some dog shit.

(man checks the bottom of his shoes)... "no I haven't"

Oh, it must be your breath then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just mention one of ur last conqusts had blue waffle or special fried rice..but they were nice people anyway hehe

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall


"Alternatively type all your messages whilst on a conference call…

oops. "

We will get back to you

Mistress x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

play footsie with the str8 male hubby.....

ping the wifes bra when shes taking a drink.....

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Say in a very loud theatrical whisper as you first catch site of the female: "wow! She's so ugly even a sniper wouldn't take her out!"

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Fuck off and don't come back, you're a shit shag usually works

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fuck off and don't come back, you're a shit shag usually works"

Didnt with me though did it xx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Sorry I am on my period............ I said that once and the man said "so what"

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Fuck off and don't come back, you're a shit shag usually works"

I'm sure it does work, but we were looking for 'alternative' ways of letting you down.... for a change

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"Fuck off and don't come back, you're a shit shag usually works

I'm sure it does work, but we were looking for 'alternative' ways of letting you down.... for a change "

piss aff moobag xxxx

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Scratch your crotch constantly whilst looking at the female and repeating the phrase 'cor! You are nice'

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

take half a dozen empty pill bottles, buy some smarties and put different colours into the seperate bottle, on meet take them out and innocently say "opps for to take my meds today" start shaking and make funny noises while taking the smarties

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Scratch your crotch constantly whilst looking at the female and repeating the phrase 'cor! You are nice'

"

then what you gonna do ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually blow the male half...i mean BLOW!!!!

tell her her hairs shit,shoes suck,too much make up,dress is so last year...

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Blow your nose into a grotty looking hanky and then hold the hanky open in front of you looking at the contents. After a short pause say "oh my god, I am so sorry, where are my manners.... did you want first dibs?" and hold out the hanky towards them.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Blow your nose into a grotty looking hanky and then hold the hanky open in front of you looking at the contents. After a short pause say "oh my god, I am so sorry, where are my manners.... did you want first dibs?" and hold out the hanky towards them."

yuk but funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd give you a mercy shag but my dick's fucked off!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"Scratch your crotch constantly whilst looking at the female and repeating the phrase 'cor! You are nice'

then what you gonna do ? "

They usually make an excuse about the babysitter and go home then.

I mean, I've heard they do...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could always say, "does your pussy always smell that bad from 6 feet away?"

(I was gonna say 'cunt' but didn't wanna piss anyone off)

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Purchase two dozen specimen jars from your local pharmacy and one packet of wallpaper paste from a local DIY supplier.

Mix the wallpaper paste and add varying quantities to the each of the specimen jars.

Place the jars into a carrier bag and keep it under the table.

At the point where you have decided they are not for you, ask..."Are you a heavy cummer? I know not all men are."

Tip the contents of the carrier bag onto the table.

Begin to organise the specimen jars by standing them upright in straight lines whilst saying...

"Steve could really shoot a load.... Poor Mikey was a bit of a let down.... Harry wasn't too bad but very bitter tasting.... Oh Dave was a real mouthful and a fruit eater.... Gaz bless him, well he tried his best.... "

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Say in a very loud theatrical whisper as you first catch site of the female: "wow! She's so ugly even a sniper wouldn't take her out!""

Love that one

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Sorry, havent finished the course of tablets yet/tube of cream (insert medician of your choice)

Mistress x

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"Say in a very loud theatrical whisper as you first catch site of the female: "wow! She's so ugly even a sniper wouldn't take her out!"

Love that one "

She didn't.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Turn up in a wedding dress (always wanted to do that) lol

Mistress x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Purchase two dozen specimen jars from your local pharmacy and one packet of wallpaper paste from a local DIY supplier.

Mix the wallpaper paste and add varying quantities to the each of the specimen jars.

Place the jars into a carrier bag and keep it under the table.

At the point where you have decided they are not for you, ask..."Are you a heavy cummer? I know not all men are."

Tip the contents of the carrier bag onto the table.

Begin to organise the specimen jars by standing them upright in straight lines whilst saying...

"Steve could really shoot a load.... Poor Mikey was a bit of a let down.... Harry wasn't too bad but very bitter tasting.... Oh Dave was a real mouthful and a fruit eater.... Gaz bless him, well he tried his best.... "

"

So you cum prepared then?

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

rummage in bag and bring out tape measure....

Mistress x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you be careful when you give me a BJ cos I've got a few warts on my bell end that I'm having treatment for and they might ooze a little bit.

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

PS.... you may also add:

"oh my god, I am so sorry, where are my manners.... did you want first dibs?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive got piles...but still interested in anal...licking only tho, i dont like pain"

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Do you ever take a little trophy home with you after a meet… something to remember them by?.... *picking up the steak knife* …. “I like cocks”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or:

I collect female pubic hair so I can rebuild yout twat out of plaster when I get home. I'll need some before and after photos for reference and I'll need to give you a quick mohican when we've finished shagging. That ok with you?

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I have a distance fetish... no seriously... the further away you go the more I will like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nothing better than grogging on a cock or pussy, but a phlegmmmmy one is very yum!!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Say:

'righto, shall we get down to action then? I'll just give my mum a shout to come down, she should have the rubber suit on by now and be all oiled up...'

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

*two singles*

"Is it OK if we do seperate rooms?"

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Say:

'righto, shall we get down to action then? I'll just give my mum a shout to come down, she should have the rubber suit on by now and be all oiled up...'"

Yeah sure, but can you make yourself scarce for a bit....I just want some one-on-one with your mum first.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"Say:

'righto, shall we get down to action then? I'll just give my mum a shout to come down, she should have the rubber suit on by now and be all oiled up...'

Yeah sure, but can you make yourself scarce for a bit....I just want some one-on-one with your mum first."

That's always the danger... they might be sicker than you!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

here mate, yer wifes a minger...ditch her ive got a tasty gangbang we can go to...

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Did I mention my dad is Gary Glitter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work in a morgue, u shoulda seen what I had for lunch this morning!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work in a morgue, u shoulda seen what I had for lunch this morning!!!"

or afternoon lol

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Ask them if they've tried the ULTIMATE Anal Douche kit and Enema .

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