FabSwingers.com forum: Negative profiles

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

We always take our time to read people's profiles but I have to say we're being turned off by the amount of negativity we're reading. Some people have nothing but dislikes listed.

Surely a positive approach is key?

Does it really help you get the responses you want by announcing...

I only want white people. Sorry that's just my preference.

If you're over 50 or fat then move on, I'm not for you.

Its leaving us thinking.. Even if we do meet your criteria and we like your photos, you don't sound like a nice person so we don't think we'll bother.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always take our time to read people's profiles but I have to say we're being turned off by the amount of negativity we're reading. Some people have nothing but dislikes listed.

Surely a positive approach is key?

Does it really help you get the responses you want by announcing...

I only want white people. Sorry that's just my preference.

If you're over 50 or fat then move on, I'm not for you.

Its leaving us thinking.. Even if we do meet your criteria and we like your photos, you don't sound like a nice person so we don't think we'll bother.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A negative profile always kills my interest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My thoughts exactly. Even if i/we fit into what they're looking for, they don't sound like the kind of people i'd get on with so i pass them by.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't have to respond to them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Just use it as you are to vet your interest.

I'm sure if a person profile isn't working for them they will change it .

Just focus on the profiles that do peak your interest and contact them x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you being negative about negative profiles OP?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

You should check out my profile.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eon85Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Very well said

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We have to hold off listing negatives sometimes. If we don't say what is off the agenda we get accused of not being up front. Mind you nobody reads it anyway we get lots of offers of "prolonged oral for the Mrs"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should check out my profile.

I wanna know what the label is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"You don't have to respond to them"

No and we rarely do. Which is exactly my point and question. Why would you write yourself an off putting CV?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"You should check out my profile.

I wanna know what the label is

Caution- toxic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should check out my profile.

I wanna know what the label is

Caution- toxic"

May contain nuts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"You should check out my profile.

We do. On a regular basis

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"Are you being negative about negative profiles OP?

Guilty as charged.

We may even add our dislike of negative profiles to our profile.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people can use this site and their profiles as they wish. It may or may not work for them, but it doesn't affect you either way does it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eon85Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"I think people can use this site and their profiles as they wish. It may or may not work for them, but it doesn't affect you either way does it?"

Is this because your profile is so riveting?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"You should check out my profile.

I wanna know what the label is

Caution- toxic

May contain nuts

One can hope

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"You should check out my profile.

We do. On a regular basis

Likewise

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is op ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"All 'welcum' but must have one or two arms and/or legs"

I hope that is not too 'negative'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you being negative about negative profiles OP?

Guilty as charged.

We may even add our dislike of negative profiles to our profile."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is op ? "

Opening Post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always take our time to read people's profiles but I have to say we're being turned off by the amount of negativity we're reading. Some people have nothing but dislikes listed.

Surely a positive approach is key?

Does it really help you get the responses you want by announcing...

I only want white people. Sorry that's just my preference.

If you're over 50 or fat then move on, I'm not for you.

Its leaving us thinking.. Even if we do meet your criteria and we like your photos, you don't sound like a nice person so we don't think we'll bother.

I'm sure at least one poster will reply with 'as its our profile we can run it how we like'

but for me its a case of damned if you do (you tend to get stick for it) and damned if you don't (regardless of filters you get any old riff raff contacting you)...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

use it as an extra filter - ok knowing and expressing what you do and dont want - but there is a way of doing this - if people come across all huffy on the profile chances are they are like this for real -

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use it as another filter.

I assume it must work for them or they'd change it, personally I'd bypass any profile that was negative & had a lot of blah blah blah on it.

However, I'm pretty sure some of these are also the ones moaning in forums that people don't read their profiles.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Yes, I'm turned off by too much negativity but I can't say I dwell on it as there's always someone else to look at.

I do sometimes ponder though why people can't see such profiles are probably going to be less successful .... particularly when the owners of such profiles start threads asking why they're not having much, if any, luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine used to be pretty basic...and polite....now it is pretty much a rant as my _iew is a lil jaded by others behaviour...not sure why I bother tho as nobody reads it anyway....can't win I spose...ah well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"I think people can use this site and their profiles as they wish. It may or may not work for them, but it doesn't affect you either way does it?"

I don't think something has to effect you for you before you are allowed an opinion. After all this is a forum. But while you ask, yes I think the profile that prompted me to post in the first place did effect me enough to speak out.

I am British mixed race. Born in the UK from my English mother and 10yrs service in the British Army. I am as English as they come if you overlook my skin colour. So when I read anumerous profiles announcing "Not interested in black or foreign. You will be blocked" I question how that person _iews me. I don't consider myself as black or foreign but we are certainly put off contacting that person.

If I were body conscious and read "no overweight people" I think I'd feel something enough to stop me getting in touch so yes I would say yes, negative profiles can have an effect, all be it a small one and definitely not lasting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cool story

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"Use it as another filter.

I assume it must work for them or they'd change it, personally I'd bypass any profile that was negative & had a lot of blah blah blah on it.

However, I'm pretty sure some of these are also the ones moaning in forums that people don't read their profiles....."

I've no doubt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

""All 'welcum' but must have one or two arms and/or legs"

I hope that is not too 'negative'"

Not negative at all. Is breathing essential?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

""All 'welcum' but must have one or two arms and/or legs"

I hope that is not too 'negative'

Not negative at all. Is breathing essential?"

It is; and to make it especially difficult, I require that atleast half of those breaths are without the aid of a respirator

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think people can use this site and their profiles as they wish. It may or may not work for them, but it doesn't affect you either way does it?

I (fem) have some pubic hair, don't kiss on the mouth and don't like receiving oral, just about every profile on here is negative about me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it depends on whether the profile is a straight male or not. If it is a straight male profile and contains a lot of negativity, then chances are that it will hamper their chances on here (unless they are Fab straight).

I can't see it affecting anyone seeking single males, as it seems abundantly clear from many, many posted threads that a lot of said males do not read profiles anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

men, i've found, generally tend to ask the same thing over and over. it's like they all read some same website that gives them hints on the sittiest ways to get laid.

it probably would be easier to just put a list of your dislikes up to put them types of men off. they'd have to read your profile for it to work though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lyreelMan
over a year ago

King's lynn

I like the ones that say you must not be short, they are about 3'6" tall...must not be hairy, they have pubic hair in a plait.... must be clean, while they are covered in bareback multiple spunk shots.... must have pictures, but don't expect any from them and worst of all they cannot spell or even use spell check!!!!

Oh and they dont accommodate or travel!!

I thought it was a swing site, not a dating site!!

But in a way I am glad we're all different!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"I like the ones that say you must not be short, they are about 3'6" tall...must not be hairy, they have pubic hair in a plait.... must be clean, while they are covered in bareback multiple spunk shots.... must have pictures, but don't expect any from them and worst of all they cannot spell or even use spell check!!!!

Oh and they dont accommodate or travel!!

I thought it was a swing site, not a dating site!!

But in a way I am glad we're all different!!!

Ashton they say, it would be a boring world if we were all the same. Variety is the spice of life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always take our time to read people's profiles but I have to say we're being turned off by the amount of negativity we're reading. Some people have nothing but dislikes listed.

Surely a positive approach is key?

Does it really help you get the responses you want by announcing...

I only want white people. Sorry that's just my preference.

If you're over 50 or fat then move on, I'm not for you.

Its leaving us thinking.. Even if we do meet your criteria and we like your photos, you don't sound like a nice person so we don't think we'll bother.

Simple....

Just move on to the profiles that are more to your taste.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"We always take our time to read people's profiles but I have to say we're being turned off by the amount of negativity we're reading. Some people have nothing but dislikes listed.

Surely a positive approach is key?

Does it really help you get the responses you want by announcing...

I only want white people. Sorry that's just my preference.

If you're over 50 or fat then move on, I'm not for you.

Its leaving us thinking.. Even if we do meet your criteria and we like your photos, you don't sound like a nice person so we don't think we'll bother.

Quite right too. There's a certain skill to writing a good profile and it's too easy to list what you don't like.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"We always take our time to read people's profiles but I have to say we're being turned off by the amount of negativity we're reading. Some people have nothing but dislikes listed.

Surely a positive approach is key?

Does it really help you get the responses you want by announcing...

I only want white people. Sorry that's just my preference.

If you're over 50 or fat then move on, I'm not for you.

Its leaving us thinking.. Even if we do meet your criteria and we like your photos, you don't sound like a nice person so we don't think we'll bother.

Totally agree, which is why I block everyone who doesn't meet my criteria

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I guess it depends on whether the profile is a straight male or not. If it is a straight male profile and contains a lot of negativity, then chances are that it will hamper their chances on here (unless they are Fab straight).

I can't see it affecting anyone seeking single males, as it seems abundantly clear from many, many posted threads that a lot of said males do not read profiles anyway

Single females and couples can be equally guilty of not reading profiles fully, I can vouch for this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find them really helpful because they show me that, whether I meet their preferences or not, they certainly don't meet mine. I'm convinced that it's a vicious circle - negative profile puts off the decent people from messaging, higher proportion of messages from dickheads/desperate people/those who haven't read it, profile becomes even more negative as a result, and so it continues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Like attracts like.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Like attracts like."
opposites attract

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find negativity or a list of do's and don'ts a complete turn off.

But then, as I am a single male, the profiles that I visit are amongst, shall we say, those most in demand, and therefore, due to their target audience, they can get away with this as for the few that are put off by such profiles, there are literally hundreds of desperado's who probably haven't even bothered to read in the first place

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"I find them really helpful because they show me that, whether I meet their preferences or not, they certainly don't meet mine. I'm convinced that it's a vicious circle - negative profile puts off the decent people from messaging, higher proportion of messages from dickheads/desperate people/those who haven't read it, profile becomes even more negative as a result, and so it continues."

Yes I think you're right with your vicious circle theory.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like attracts like."

I often quote this on the forums

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to do my own thing. I'm as far from a follower as I can imagine. My profile is what I would like to read. So I'm okay with that!

People sometimes read other profile and think it's a good idea to follow suit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed, surely your profile is your shop window and therefore an opportunity to show people a bit of what you are about, and they can then decide if they're interested.

If shop windows had loads of pictures of crap products from different shops in it saying why they're crap I'm not sure it would entice you into the shop!

Ruby

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree. I also switch off to abusive and negative status.

Been on here 10 years now . Soon filter out the not so nice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"I tend to do my own thing. I'm as far from a follower as I can imagine. My profile is what I would like to read. So I'm okay with that!

People sometimes read other profile and think it's a good idea to follow suit. "

Just went to _iew your profile and it doesn't read anything. it's hidden.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tend to do my own thing. I'm as far from a follower as I can imagine. My profile is what I would like to read. So I'm okay with that!

People sometimes read other profile and think it's a good idea to follow suit.

Just went to _iew your profile and it doesn't read anything. it's hidden.

Is that considered a negative?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always take our time to read people's profiles but I have to say we're being turned off by the amount of negativity we're reading. Some people have nothing but dislikes listed.

Surely a positive approach is key?

Does it really help you get the responses you want by announcing...

I only want white people. Sorry that's just my preference.

If you're over 50 or fat then move on, I'm not for you.

Its leaving us thinking.. Even if we do meet your criteria and we like your photos, you don't sound like a nice person so we don't think we'll bother.

Why would I not mention on my (very short) profile, what I don't want?

If I don't, it's wasting people's time.

And we all love a timewaster!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"I tend to do my own thing. I'm as far from a follower as I can imagine. My profile is what I would like to read. So I'm okay with that!

People sometimes read other profile and think it's a good idea to follow suit.

Just went to _iew your profile and it doesn't read anything. it's hidden.

Is that considered a negative?

No just a shame

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A negative profile is always off putting for me personal and there's plenty of them on here, I'm sure some have their reasons but surely if you hate this site that much you'd just move on?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"We always take our time to read people's profiles but I have to say we're being turned off by the amount of negativity we're reading. Some people have nothing but dislikes listed.

Surely a positive approach is key?

Does it really help you get the responses you want by announcing...

I only want white people. Sorry that's just my preference.

If you're over 50 or fat then move on, I'm not for you.

Its leaving us thinking.. Even if we do meet your criteria and we like your photos, you don't sound like a nice person so we don't think we'll bother.

Why would I not mention on my (very short) profile, what I don't want?

If I don't, it's wasting people's time.

And we all love a timewaster!

I don't think your profile is negative at all. Certainly not in the way I've pointed out.

I don't think saying you don't want your man wearing a watch or socks in bed is too much to ask

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always take our time to read people's profiles but I have to say we're being turned off by the amount of negativity we're reading. Some people have nothing but dislikes listed.

Surely a positive approach is key?

Does it really help you get the responses you want by announcing...

I only want white people. Sorry that's just my preference.

If you're over 50 or fat then move on, I'm not for you.

Its leaving us thinking.. Even if we do meet your criteria and we like your photos, you don't sound like a nice person so we don't think we'll bother.

Why would I not mention on my (very short) profile, what I don't want?

If I don't, it's wasting people's time.

And we all love a timewaster!

I don't think your profile is negative at all. Certainly not in the way I've pointed out.

I don't think saying you don't want your man wearing a watch or socks in bed is too much to ask

Phew! That's ok then!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't read profiles anyway. That way I avoid being put off from them. I just go for looks. Honest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't read profiles anyway. That way I avoid being put off from them. I just go for looks. Honest. "

You won't get far on here doing that mate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itmanAndHerr OP Couple
over a year ago

st helens

"I don't read profiles anyway. That way I avoid being put off from them. I just go for looks. Honest.

You won't get far on here doing that mate "

You might also end up with more than you bargained for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't read profiles anyway. That way I avoid being put off from them. I just go for looks. Honest.

You won't get far on here doing that mate

You might also end up with more than you bargained for

I've just read another thread about people not looking like there profile pics. So, I've decided not to look at the photos too. That way I'm not disappointed at all with who I'm talking too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Yep, short, sweet, positive.

Say what you want, not what you don't.

People have often quite short attention spans and just look at the pretty pictures (well, maybe that's just me...)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People have often quite short attention spans"

Erm, what were you saying?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, short, sweet, positive.

Say what you want, not what you don't.

People have often quite short attention spans and just look at the pretty pictures (well, maybe that's just me...)"

I know....but is she fit?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread