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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I love some of these.

Subject: Zen Teachings

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just p*ss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgement comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgement.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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Just Checking!!!

YEP!

You're doing 'b#gger all' as usual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hehehe I'm definitely number 2 lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love some of these.

Subject: Zen Teachings

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just p*ss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgement comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgement.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

#########################################################################################################################

Just Checking!!!

YEP!

You're doing 'b#gger all' as usual

oh so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does Zen teach that when you paste Zen teachings use bigger page?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he he love it, I've got a similar one on my bedroom wall, always gives me a chuckle.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Does Zen teach that when you paste Zen teachings use bigger page?

lol... I was so chuffed I got it all in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does Zen teach that when you paste Zen teachings use bigger page?

lol... I was so chuffed I got it all in!

I met a guy who said the same once.......memoriessssss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does Zen teach that when you paste Zen teachings use bigger page?

lol... I was so chuffed I got it all in!

You haven't though. On my screen some of the sentences finish half completed at the end o the line instead of word wrapping onto the next line and continuing.

Methinks Zen wasn't paying attention and probably ogling some blonde in a tight red dress.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Does Zen teach that when you paste Zen teachings use bigger page?

lol... I was so chuffed I got it all in!

You haven't though. On my screen some of the sentences finish half completed at the end o the line instead of word wrapping onto the next line and continuing.

Methinks Zen wasn't paying attention and probably ogling some blonde in a tight red dress.

I humbly apologise, my skills clearly lack...

Would you kindly offer some sort of pardon?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have another always makes me laugh

if you sprinkle when you tinkle be a sweet and wipe the seat lol

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