FabSwingers.com forum: Shallow?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just read someones profile that say's they're over 20 stone and that if you don't like that your shallow.

Now don't get me wrong, each to their own and all that but I honestly don't think someone is shallow because they don't find that attractive.

Some women don't like really muscular men, are they being shallow?

Some people will like someone who is bigger, while others won't. I don't think that's being shallow at all, to me it's just attraction.

After all if a women had a choice between a chipendale or an overweight balding, middle aged man I'm sure a large percentage of women would go for the chippendale.

Yes I do know that there are some people out there who think a personality is more important but correct me if I'm wrong but I think for most people on here the first thing they look for is a physical attraction and then the personality.

If that is true then going off the statement in this persons profile aren't we all shallow to some degree?

I only post this thread as I've seen and heard it plenty of times that someone is shallow for not being attracted to someone. I may upset a few people here but I've mainly heard it when it's involved someone who isn't attracted to someone on the large side

Does anyone else think that the statement claiming someone is shallow for not finding overweight people attractive is wrong?

Just to clarify my point I don't think it's shallow to not be attracted to someone because of their appearence whether overweight or just plane ugly.

Yes I know people are going to come back with beuty is on the inside and other cliche's but lets face it there has to be some physical attraction. Your not telling me that someone with a nice personality but looks like John Merrick is going to get a lot of action on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i agree with you its all personal preference and no i don't believe it makes a person shallow.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I have hidden shallows.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I am not bothered if someone is not attracted to me for whatever reason and there is someone out there that is.. Its personal choice..

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

i think its shallow that not every guy and bi fem wants a woman whos short ,size 14 and has freaky tatse in hair colour lol !!!!

not everyone is going to be my cup of tea and visa versa . thank god that the case or id never get any meets lol !!

i can see the point in pointing out they are a size 20 (just as i point out in a size 14 ) .people then fully know what to exspect and wont be shocked if your not a size zero model type lol. however i have issue that people would be classed as shallow if they didnt find a woman of a certain size be it an 8 or a 28 attractive !the issue is more with the person labling others as shallow and the chip on the shoulder they have .if someone doesnt like me for what ever reason then i just chalk it up to being just one of they things ! as been said its personal perference and there are no rights or wrong with attraction .

vive la difference !

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Completely agree with op. I have said this on the Forums before. SOME people who are on the larger side or maybe not quite in the average range looks wise say its all about personality and slim attractive people dont have them. lol Always makes me wonder if they were to change their lifestyle and lose weight do they then lose said personality? Were they ever slim and therefore before had no personality until they gained weight for whatever reason? No one is advocating we should all be the same I wouldnt think. Be how you are, as long as you are happy with it, who cares what others think? Maybe the issue is that not everyone is happy with it? Just a thought.

Mistress x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 01/06/11 10:54:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read someones profile that say's they're over 20 stone and that if you don't like that your shallow.

Now don't get me wrong, each to their own and all that but I honestly don't think someone is shallow because they don't find that attractive.

You will always find people who want to be able to choose who they play worth or not but don't like the fact others want to be able to do so too. You have just come across someone who is small minded and most likely best avoided.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think it says more about the people saying that others are shallow if they don't want to play with a larger woman. It sounds like they fear rejection so put up a defence.

For me personally ( because I mainly pick who we play with seeing as though it is me who has to fancy them ) I go for looks initially...if I don't fancy the look of them I won't add them to MSN to see if we get on for the chat between play. If we don't get on enough, no matter how cute I thought they were we won't be playing.

We are on here for NSA sex, so there has to be an attraction first and foremost. I know people will say " personality is more important" yes I agree, if I was looking for a relationship, but we are not....we look for people to play with who I fancy first and then who we can get on with.

Shallow to want to play with people you fancy? yes for me it is...and I will carry on doing so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand where the sentiment the OP refers to. Being of large build myself (OK fat...) it is hard to attract interest from others. It can be a bit dispiriting to read profile after profile looking for guys who are tall and slim.

But I also recognise that everyone has a right to their own preferences. I'd rather people were upfront and honest about it so I can move right along and not waste any precious time.

I'm not happy with my weight, but for many years I have found it difficult to change. That's my issue - I'm not going to project that onto anyone else.

Just wish there were more ladies and couples who are into us fatties!

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"I can understand where the sentiment the OP refers to. Being of large build myself (OK fat...) it is hard to attract interest from others. It can be a bit dispiriting to read profile after profile looking for guys who are tall and slim.

But I also recognise that everyone has a right to their own preferences. I'd rather people were upfront and honest about it so I can move right along and not waste any precious time.

I'm not happy with my weight, but for many years I have found it difficult to change. That's my issue - I'm not going to project that onto anyone else.

Just wish there were more ladies and couples who are into us fatties! "

Well with a singing voice like yours who would care?

Mistress x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps some shallow person could point out to this person there are specialist sites for big people where they'd be more than welcome for deep discussions on the existentialist nature of obesity along with dating tubbies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps some shallow person could point out to this person there are specialist sites for big people where they'd be more than welcome for deep discussions on the existentialist nature of obesity along with dating tubbies."

I know there are bbw sites, but are there equivalent sites for big (not gay) men?

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Really? Cripes you really can find everything on the internet....

Mistress x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember some time ago there was a discussion about a new website by young good looking swingers for young good looking swingers - and many here called them shallow.

It would be interesting how they would be _iewed now in light of some of the comments on this thread - is it shallow to want to meet and have sex with similar people you find attractive?

As for the OP, if I'd seen that profile I would have had alarm bells ringing telling me that the person on that profile had some serious anger related issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know there are bbw sites, but are there equivalent sites for big (not gay) men? "

Liking cuddly girls myself I tried a BBW site so they're not just for the women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have preference and it isn't shallow to state what you want, after all this is fantasy. If I'm in a club then ill choose guys for their looks, as in that situation sometimes there is no chat. On fab, arranging meets, I like the funny guys, the matey chat and if I can randomly send a silly message and they respond with banter, I'm attracted and it doesn't matter that they don't look like Brad Pitt.

I think larger people sometimes are very defensive and that can be caused by insecurity and an unhappiness within themselves. I find it very sad when larger people refer to themselves in derogatory terms, like the terms on here used; fatties / tubbies. Why the need for derogatory comments, even in jest. Its a defence system to get the jokes in first before someone else does - to use a nasty term and not believe or care that someone could be offended by that, is that shallow?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 01/06/11 11:43:38]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

some will always label preference as someone being shallow or phobic.

it may say more about them than anything else..

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"I remember some time ago there was a discussion about a new website by young good looking swingers for young good looking swingers - and many here called them shallow.

It would be interesting how they would be _iewed now in light of some of the comments on this thread - is it shallow to want to meet and have sex with similar people you find attractive?

As for the OP, if I'd seen that profile I would have had alarm bells ringing telling me that the person on that profile had some serious anger related issues."

really? lol Can just imagine how that was slated on here.

Mistress x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, for me it's a way of taking the sting out of derogatory terms. It's part of accepting who and what I am. I'm not trying to pretend I'm anything else.

Anyway, what's wrong with being a little bit unhappy and insecure? Some may not find it very attractive for a person on here to admit, granted. I wonder how many people on here are truly not happy about something in their lives?

Good luck to those larger people who are fully confident about their size. I wish I were like them.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Well, for me it's a way of taking the sting out of derogatory terms. It's part of accepting who and what I am. I'm not trying to pretend I'm anything else.

Good luck to those larger people who are fully confident about their size. I wish I were like them."

Small changes in lifestyle make all the difference - good or bad. If you dont like it change it but be in it for the long game not short term. You can do it.

Mistress x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it says more about there confidence than anything else. At my heaviest 3 years ago I weighed in at over 20 stone. Now weighing 15 and half still heavy yes and still working on it. But feeling a whole lot healthier and happier and mor confident. And my target weight is 12 stone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done Shaz - and may I wish you luck in getting to your target.

I lost over 4 stones a couple of years ago, but since have put 3 of those back on...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have'nt done it through diets they dont work for me have done it through lifestyle changes small things make a big difference. Have had the odd slip but just get back too it.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My heavist ever i weighed 22.4 that was a good few years ago though. Went to the doctors last week and ive lost 6.7 stone since i was weighed 3 years ago. Almost five stone recently. I couldnt care less about attraction. If i was a size ten it wouldnt make me attractive to everyone. Everyone likes different things and i dont think its shallow to have a preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a larger lay-dee and have never had an issue with my size. I am disgusted by the woman's shallow statement... which in an ironic twist makes her a little bit shallow don't you think?!

Confidence and happiness in yourself wins over everything else. I have never had issues in attracting the opposite sex and my personality keeps them entertained while they check out my 'oh-so-womanly' body!!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

actually ive lost over 7 stone since i was my heaviest just worked it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another success story! Brilliant, well done!

If you can all do it so can I (I hope!)

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I'm a tad confused. ( Was ever thus.)

If in my eyes, if i define a person as fat then :

a) why is that "nasty" on my part, and

b) would it be considered more "shallow" to avoid and lie about it.

It seems to me that some, not all, fat people do very well at putting themselves down with derogatory comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are going to an 'elite' swinging event where the guys are apparently gorgeous, toned, well endowed, physical perfection types. We have to be 'approved' for this party. Now this can be classed as extremely shallow and I know that whilst ill admit I'm not the greatest looking, I'm not ugly either. My body is not brilliant, I'm not the biggest but I'm not toned at all. I am a little worried that all the other guests will be model types and ill feel embarrassed and out of place but equally I want to sample the delights of the sex gods, just as an experience thing.

I will always be attracted to the older, normal looking, cuddly tummied men

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"We are going to an 'elite' swinging event where the guys are apparently gorgeous, toned, well endowed, physical perfection types. We have to be 'approved' for this party. Now this can be classed as extremely shallow and I know that whilst ill admit I'm not the greatest looking, I'm not ugly either. My body is not brilliant, I'm not the biggest but I'm not toned at all. I am a little worried that all the other guests will be model types and ill feel embarrassed and out of place but equally I want to sample the delights of the sex gods, just as an experience thing.

I will always be attracted to the older, normal looking, cuddly tummied men "

May i politely ask why you are going?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"actually ive lost over 7 stone since i was my heaviest just worked it out"

Wow that is some commitment and a big achievement. I hope you are proud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will always be attracted to the older, normal looking, cuddly tummied men "

The one about murdering baby cats?

Don't get too worked up about it. Their standards aren't as high as they'd like to think they are - they let me in a couple of years back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know what you mean, murdering baby cats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read someones profile that say's they're over 20 stone and that if you don't like that your shallow.

Now don't get me wrong, each to their own and all that but I honestly don't think someone is shallow because they don't find that attractive.

I have long though that especially on here with some of the pushy couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it says more about the people saying that others are shallow if they don't want to play with a larger woman. It sounds like they fear rejection so put up a defence.

Shallow to want to play with people you fancy? yes for me it is...and I will carry on doing so."

Spot on, couldn't agree more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will always be attracted to the older, normal looking, cuddly tummied men

May i politely ask why you are going?"

I am going because I want to see if there is a world of dofference between the high end elitist swinging events who promise tall, good looking, toned, well endowed men to the fun, friendly, down to earth, black country Chams gents who I know and love. Swinging to me is about different experiences

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