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Rude Limericks

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By *heekychezza OP   Woman
over a year ago

warrington

As we were leaving the swingers camping weekend in Norfolk yesterday, one of the farmers who owned the site came over to offer us some (naughty)books which had been left by previous campers and included a book called Very Rude Limericks. Obviously only one person could take the book (ME!) so I said I would post a limerick a day so everyone could have a laugh (or shudder depending on the topic - be warned...some of them are gross!)

So here it is...the first of Cheeky Chezza's daily limericks.

I wooed a stewed nude in Bermuda.

I was rude, but my God! she was ruder.

She said it was crude

To be wooed in the nude.

I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There once was a women named White,

found herself in a terrible plight,

a mucker named Tucker

he struck her...the fucker,

the bugger the bastard the shite!

(I don't normally swear).

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

There once was a girl from Shalanker,

with a fanny as big as a tanker,

you could go for a swim,

in the depths of her quim,

and you needed a lamp post to wank her.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"There once was a girl from Shalanker,

with a fanny as big as a tanker,

you could go for a swim,

in the depths of her quim,

and you needed a lamp post to wank her.

"

Love it!!!!

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By *ax the gentle GiantMan
over a year ago

birmingham

[Removed by poster at 31/05/11 12:12:27]

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By *ax the gentle GiantMan
over a year ago

birmingham

There was a woman form Gam

who jumped on the back of a tram

she kicked the conductour

who turned and fucked her

now she is pushing a pram

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mary had a little lamb

t'was full of fun and frolicks

it tried to jump a 10 foot wall

and landed on its .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mary had a little lamb

she also had a bear

I've seen mary's little lamb

but I've never seen her bare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres much fun to be had with limericks,

Perhaps the women on here appreciate fanny licks,

I know its rude to say fanny to some,

But it's even ruder to accidentally fuck someones bum!

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

A horny young sailor named Clark,

who picked up a slut in a park,

she was ugly and crude,

and a horror when nude,

but she was good for a fuck in the dark.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bloke who lived in a small hut

Kept all to himself, the door shut

What went on inside

Was a glorious ride

As he turned into fantasy slut

His tastes were so misunderstood

And said to be caused by his wood

But breaking the bank

Just for a quick wank

Is something not terribly good

He entered the world of the gurl

And found it's a wonderful world

With fabulous shoes

So many to choose

With necklaces of whitest pearl

The gurl was the best of the guy

So peaceful and prone to a cry

At Glee with a song

How could this be wrong?

Perhaps you should give it a try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there was a young woman from ealing

who slipped on a potato peeling

she fell on her back

opened her crack

and pissed all over the ceiling

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By *orestersCouple
over a year ago

The Forest

Mary had a little lamb,

who sat upon a pylon.

Two thousand volts went up it's arse,

and turned it's wool to nylon.

.

.

.

.

R.I.P Lambchop

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

There once was a man from Pompei,

who fashioned a snatch out of clay,

the heat from his prick,

turned the clay into brick,

and tore all his foreskin away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There once was a man from Pompei,

who fashioned a snatch out of clay,

the heat from his prick,

turned the clay into brick,

and tore all his foreskin away.

"

Oh i thought that one ended with and tore off his dick???

Must be a regional variation hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a young lady from Odd

Who wanted a baby from God

It wernt the almighty who went up her nightie

But the vicar the dirty old sod.

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By *inky24big35Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

hickery dickery dock da bitch was sucking me cock

the clock struck two i squirted me goo

and wiped me dick on her frock!

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