FabSwingers.com forum: Would you...

By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

be put off meeting a forumite who obviously has a connection with another forumite? I don't mean the lamp-post pissing that sometimes goes on, or the obvious 'about to become a couple' pairing up. I'm talking about chatting to someone, then seeing them with an obvious connection with one or more people on the forum to the point that posts can be filled up with their flirting.

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I paid attention, it would. But when posts get taken over with flirting, i tend to pass them by. For all anyone knows one of them could be messaging people that don't use the forums, so they'd be none the wiser about a connection. But I pay attention to veris and if someone had numerous from the same person it instantly puts me off.

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By *ong legs n LingeireWoman
over a year ago

it up to me neck. :-)

"be put off meeting a forumite who obviously has a connection with another forumite? I don't mean the lamp-post pissing that sometimes goes on, or the obvious 'about to become a couple' pairing up. I'm talking about chatting to someone, then seeing them with an obvious connection with one or more people on the forum to the point that posts can be filled up with their flirting.

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

It would and has put me off in the past. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know where you are coming from. The fear of the 'better offer' is always there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

Yep. This (and distance) is why i don't meet from the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see what you mean...but I never think that the ones who fill up the threads flirting with each other actually have a connection anyway because if they did they'd just pm each other, (or if they like each other that much then surely they'd be in contact off the site). The public flirting seems more about asserting their own positions rather than demonstrating a connection to each other.

But I have an inbuilt aversion to being second best that means I probably wouldn't go there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes banter is banter. I have met people from the forums and like with all of fab life (you know those statuses "thanks Mr/Mrs wonderful, great to see you again you're the best") I see the things that people do as their business. If someone wants to meet me and I feel the same, then we meet, and that meet is never delayed or put off for another, only ever real life getting in the way.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm not sure it would put me off as such. But the incessant flirting isn't something I find a turn on as such.

I don't mind and often partake in the odd attempted public flirtation but more often than not when they go beyond a couple of posts, they make me cringe.

It suggests we might not be that compatible so maybe it does.

I always think they'll find a better potential meet to stay in realistic and not be disappointed!

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"The public flirting seems more about asserting their own positions rather than demonstrating a connection to each other."

Good point. Although sometimes it has gone on long enough for other forumites to suggest they 'get a room'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not bothered if they chat up others so long as they turn up at my meet when they say they will.

I am wondering if this apparent desire for "exclusivity" reflects a feeling of wanting to be special and not just nsa sex?

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I am not bothered if they chat up others so long as they turn up at my meet when they say they will.

I am wondering if this apparent desire for "exclusivity" reflects a feeling of wanting to be special and not just nsa sex? "

Not at all. You'll not find a less exclusive person than me (very rarely have repeat meets). More a case of an innate insecurity, and also a certain distaste of PDAs

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

Nope x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not bothered if they chat up others so long as they turn up at my meet when they say they will.

I am wondering if this apparent desire for "exclusivity" reflects a feeling of wanting to be special and not just nsa sex?

Not at all. You'll not find a less exclusive person than me (very rarely have repeat meets). More a case of an innate insecurity, and also a certain distaste of PDAs

Damn... was just about to give you a forum frenchie (FF)...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Not that I am currently looking x

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I am not bothered if they chat up others so long as they turn up at my meet when they say they will.

I am wondering if this apparent desire for "exclusivity" reflects a feeling of wanting to be special and not just nsa sex?

Not at all. You'll not find a less exclusive person than me (very rarely have repeat meets). More a case of an innate insecurity, and also a certain distaste of PDAs

Damn... was just about to give you a forum frenchie (FF)..."

PS No forum flirting, else I'll be accused of hypocrisy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not bothered if they chat up others so long as they turn up at my meet when they say they will.

I am wondering if this apparent desire for "exclusivity" reflects a feeling of wanting to be special and not just nsa sex?

Not at all. You'll not find a less exclusive person than me (very rarely have repeat meets). More a case of an innate insecurity, and also a certain distaste of PDAs

Damn... was just about to give you a forum frenchie (FF)...

PS No forum flirting, else I'll be accused of hypocrisy!"

We are still meeting though, right? You gorgeous alluring wonder you... xx

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Flirting.. what, here in the forums..

How very dare they, this is a respectable site I'll have you know..

I do hope none of those shenanigans goes on around here..

Next you'll be telling me people meet up for more than just a glass of the fizzy stuff or a cup of cha in the local hostelries.

Respectable I tell you.. I won't be having not of it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thing is, when it spreads over multiple threads, and that banter takes over a thread that someone else has started about something, i think it's more than banter.

Folk can see who they like, fuck who they like, i'm not bothered.

It's just they shouldn't private message me telling me how much they'd love to get to know me blah blah blah and then more or less ignore me in the forum and, then, publicly flirt with the same few women who they mention in a forum thread they'd love to get their hands on.

If they were more discreet then that would be fine. But doing it publicly is just lamp-post pissing.

I'm not blind. Buttering me up to get their dick wet just won't work.

So no. Forum men are not for me.

Of course you could say it's it's sour grapes because i'm not the site hottie or whatever, but Meh. I feel how i feel.

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Thing is, when it spreads over multiple threads, and that banter takes over a thread that someone else has started about something, i think it's more than banter.

Folk can see who they like, fuck who they like, i'm not bothered.

If they were more discreet then that would be fine. But doing it publicly is just lamp-post pissing.

I'm not blind. Buttering me up to get their dick wet just won't work.

So no. Forum men are not for me.

Of course you could say it's it's sour grapes because i'm not the site hottie or whatever, but Meh. I feel how i feel."

Yes, that's the one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am now wondering if i flirt on the forums, pretty sure I don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually just meet people from the forums for socials anyway, so the flirting wouldn't bother me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thing is, when it spreads over multiple threads, and that banter takes over a thread that someone else has started about something, i think it's more than banter.

Folk can see who they like, fuck who they like, i'm not bothered.

If they were more discreet then that would be fine. But doing it publicly is just lamp-post pissing.

I'm not blind. Buttering me up to get their dick wet just won't work.

So no. Forum men are not for me.

Of course you could say it's it's sour grapes because i'm not the site hottie or whatever, but Meh. I feel how i feel.

This

happy to fill the inbox but totally ignored on the forum to prevent upsetting their following

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Thing is, when it spreads over multiple threads, and that banter takes over a thread that someone else has started about something, i think it's more than banter.

Folk can see who they like, fuck who they like, i'm not bothered.

If they were more discreet then that would be fine. But doing it publicly is just lamp-post pissing.

I've gone off someone for this very reason so you're not alone in feeling that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very bizzare tbh.

Often you'll find public flirting doesnt have any attraction/meaning behind it because it is "safe" theres no fear of rejection because there's no desire.

Private approaches show the person is worried of being rejected as it mean something to them.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Did we come back to school?!

I don't care who fucks who. I don't give a shit about forum banter/lamppost pissing/making claims. I've met a lot of really good fuckables on the forums over the years, in fact I'd probably go so far as to say I've only ever met forumites.

I guess I was introduced to swinging when it was exactly that... we swung from one to the next and sometimes we overlapped along the way. We had so much fun and nobody ever gave a fuck about who was doing whom... we just waited our turn.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Thing is, when it spreads over multiple threads, and that banter takes over a thread that someone else has started about something, i think it's more than banter.

Folk can see who they like, fuck who they like, i'm not bothered.

If they were more discreet then that would be fine. But doing it publicly is just lamp-post pissing.

I'm not blind. Buttering me up to get their dick wet just won't work.

So no. Forum men are not for me.

Of course you could say it's it's sour grapes because i'm not the site hottie or whatever, but Meh. I feel how i feel.

Yes that's a right turn off, disrespectful too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I an a terrible flirt in fab as in life, ask a friend I had a beer with not two nights ago, I flirted with our waitress...

I do it because I went a long time feeling ugly and worthless, and yes as superficial and sycophantic as it may be on here, fab is helping my confidence grow and keeping my heart light.

When people flirt back I enjoy it, and I make no apology, I receive more "rolly eyes"

than probably any other member... and that's okay too, I know that the way I behave will put people off... as part of fab life I have to accept this and move on. I know I have been part of thread hijacks and I have made a conscious decision to reduce that, because yes, it is dull, but I do smile at the hypocrisy sometimes....

Hell I know some people don't like me and will put a wall across a thread I have posted in to "cut me down to size", that's okay, it's an open forum, as they post what they like, I shall post what I like and if that is "sickeningly flirtatious" well ho hum... I am here to have fun and as long as I am not impacting anyone else's fun I don't see that I am doing wrong...

The only things thathat would ever stop me meeting another are that I do not find them attractive or mentally we wouldn't connect, another's activities on here would not play a part in that decision...

Merry Christmas

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

Who flirts with whom in the forums has no impact on me at all.

I get ignored so much anyway, that I wouldn't meet them for that reason alone. The forums are meant to be fun, but I find couples do really struggle to get noticed and share banter in the forums. But I continue to plod on

xxxxx Suzi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, there's a couple of guys I wouldn't bother chatting to on here because they're quite obviously 'Fab taken', whether they know it or not...

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It makes me cringe at times tbh and I wonder why it's not taken to pm but it wouldn't put me off meeting someone from the forums. If I was 'blown out' for someone else though I'd have to block, I'm no one's plan b

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The threads that have the flirt going, I tend to ignore and don't bother posting as I'm good at stopping a thread dead in its tracks, so I wouldn't want to spoil their fun

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It would put me off because if they weren't that interested in what I've got to say on here why would they be any more of interested in person.

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By *elfastDMan
over a year ago

belfast

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By *elfastDMan
over a year ago

belfast

Did we come back to school?!

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Thing is, when it spreads over multiple threads, and that banter takes over a thread that someone else has started about something, i think it's more than banter.

Folk can see who they like, fuck who they like, i'm not bothered.

If they were more discreet then that would be fine. But doing it publicly is just lamp-post pissing.

I'm not blind. Buttering me up to get their dick wet just won't work.

So no. Forum men are not for me.

Of course you could say it's it's sour grapes because i'm not the site hottie or whatever, but Meh. I feel how i feel."

I normally don't pay much attention to who fancies who; if I fancy someone and the feeling's mutual then I'll fuck them. But when there is a forum 'partnership' of sorts forming or they're publicly vocal about wanting someone specific then I would steer clear. I may be pretty chilled about who I fuck and who people I fuck fuck but I don't want to be dragged into a pissing contest as a result. Or be someone's consolation prize.

There are however a few people who get singled out on the forums a lot by others who fancy them but through no choice of their own. I sometimes wonder how they feel about that, especially when they're not the type to publicly flirt. Just musing.

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Very bizzare tbh.

Often you'll find public flirting doesnt have any attraction/meaning behind it because it is "safe" theres no fear of rejection because there's no desire.

Private approaches show the person is worried of being rejected as it mean something to them."

I have no problem stating that there is probably a case of sour grapes in there for me. It's probably the time of year, with the Fab awards coming and the usual suspects getting the recognition, where us non-flirters, who give sensible advice, get overlooked. especially if we don't have boob pics.

I'm not saying people should stop doing it. I was asking if others think the same as me. Seems they do. But everyone uses the forums in their own way and if the flirting is the reason then go for it. Just expect there to be a few grumpy people doing this

when you do.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"The only things that would ever stop me meeting another are that I do not find them attractive or mentally we wouldn't connect, another's activities on here would not play a part in that decision...

Merry Christmas

But you can think you might not 'mentally connect' because of activities on here as it may well suggest an incompatibility. I don't flirt on here very often nor do I in life. I'm a bit of a cunt in both most of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are however a few people who get singled out on the forums a lot by others who fancy them but through no choice of their own. I sometimes wonder how they feel about that, especially when they're not the type to publicly flirt. Just musing."

I actually always find this kind of fun. People always say it's those who flirt and comment a lot who get mentioned in the "popularity threads," but people like this show that isn't always the case. It's interesting to see what spectrum of behavior will get someone noticed, whether they desire the attention or not.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don't really notice and that thought wouldn't cross my mind. Even if there are connections we are all individuals to make a choice to meet or not and I wouldn't like to think that decision was influenced by someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't put me off the guy, i still like who I like.

What it does is make me wonder if he's worth the effort it takes for me to meet if he's that into someone else.

I'm currently musing this over at the moment....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only things that would ever stop me meeting another are that I do not find them attractive or mentally we wouldn't connect, another's activities on here would not play a part in that decision...

Merry Christmas

The forum is an open space... I have never "connected" with someone in an open space, a flirt can lead to a pm, a pm is more private and it is there, for me at least, where a connection can be made... but that's my take on things, I don't over think what is said in the forums as they are said, usually, to prompt a reaction.... positive or negative... I am quite a positive person so this is how I interact on the forums...

Again I would apologise if my flirting offends but I don't see how it can... and if someone is flirting like mad with someone I fancy, well then I can either try (and fail) to flirt with them or wait for them to flirt with me. I do not message first (pm) on fab, that's a confidence issue, I accept, so the flirting on the forums helps me to meet... without it, well, I probably wouldn't have met anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The public flirting seems more about asserting their own positions rather than demonstrating a connection to each other.

Good point. Although sometimes it has gone on long enough for other forumites to suggest they 'get a room'

Oh absolutely. But I think the need to do it in public kind of signifies they're not actually that important to each other. But I'm a cynical bastard and I hate that kind of shit anyway

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Flirting doesn't offend, per se (apart from a slight 'why won't people flirt with meeeeee?!), but if there is a regular flirter and flirtee, I suspect a deeper relationship than is obvious, and may choose to steer clear so as not to get embroiled in something out of my control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very bizzare tbh.

Often you'll find public flirting doesnt have any attraction/meaning behind it because it is "safe" theres no fear of rejection because there's no desire.

Private approaches show the person is worried of being rejected as it mean something to them.

when you do.

I've been fairly vocal re the forum awards, I can pretty much predict who will win the obvious categories. For me I suppose it could be a little bit of sour grapes, I don't mind saying that it's nice to receive some kind of validation from people I spend a lot of time conversing with!

Actually saying that I've had a few lovely pm's today which have made me smile.

I'm trying to think of an alternative version, something that has funny different categories.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I've spoken to someone from the forums and we have decided to meet it wouldn't make any odds what they say to someone else.

It doesn't bother me if I get blown out for someone else either. There's always a someone else for me too.

I'm here for sex, not a popularity competition.

It wouldn't even bother me if someone I have met declared another of the forum crowd his best fuck ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Flirting doesn't offend, per se (apart from a slight 'why won't people flirt with meeeeee?!), but if there is a regular flirter and flirtee, I suspect a deeper relationship than is obvious, and may choose to steer clear so as not to get embroiled in something out of my control."

Yeah I wonder along these lines too

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I sometimes flirt in the forum. Not as well as some. My forum flirts are the literary equivalent of chucking a brick at her head with 'fancy a fuck?' written on it in felt tip.

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple
over a year ago

st helens

Sounds like forum interaction can be quite detrimental to ones full swing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very bizzare tbh.

Often you'll find public flirting doesnt have any attraction/meaning behind it because it is "safe" theres no fear of rejection because there's no desire.

Private approaches show the person is worried of being rejected as it mean something to them.

when you do.

Actually saying that I've had a few lovely pm's today which have made me smile.

I'm trying to think of an alternative version, something that has funny different categories."

I think the forum awards stuff is mostly bullshit and that is entirely sour grapes because back when I was new and still nice to people I used to be that one getting all the mentions

I like the alternative awards idea though, that could be fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess what annoys me, mildly, is that those of us who like to flirt on the forums can get vilified and you know too many of these

after one of my posts, seems a little passive aggressive, as if someone is trying to modify my behaviour by singling me out and going "yawn". The only person that controls my interactions on this site is me... and the only people that can modify my behaviour on the forums are the moderators and me.

As such... if people turn their backs on me because of this, then that is because of what I have done, people's perceptions of truth and the actual truth are two different things, my profile states quite clearly I am not looking for a relationship, people on the forums, who "claim" to read profiles, probably should

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very bizzare tbh.

Often you'll find public flirting doesnt have any attraction/meaning behind it because it is "safe" theres no fear of rejection because there's no desire.

Private approaches show the person is worried of being rejected as it mean something to them.

when you do.

Actually saying that I've had a few lovely pm's today which have made me smile.

I'm trying to think of an alternative version, something that has funny different categories.

I think the forum awards stuff is mostly bullshit and that is entirely sour grapes because back when I was new and still nice to people I used to be that one getting all the mentions

I like the alternative awards idea though, that could be fun

Biggest Cunt definitely needs to be a category!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very bizzare tbh.

Often you'll find public flirting doesnt have any attraction/meaning behind it because it is "safe" theres no fear of rejection because there's no desire.

Private approaches show the person is worried of being rejected as it mean something to them.

when you do.

I've been fairly vocal re the forum awards, I can pretty much predict a who will win the obvious categories. For me I suppose it could be a little bit of sour grapes, I don't mind saying that it's nice to receive some kind of validation from people I spend a lot of time conversing with!

Actually saying that I've had a few lovely pm's today which have made me smile.

I'm trying to think of an alternative version, something that has funny different categories.

I think the forum awards stuff is mostly bullshit and that is entirely sour grapes because back when I was new and still nice to people I used to be that one getting all the mentions

I like the alternative awards idea though, that could be fun

Biggest Cunt definitely needs to be a category! "

I think that would be impossible to even shortlist

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Very bizzare tbh.

Often you'll find public flirting doesnt have any attraction/meaning behind it because it is "safe" theres no fear of rejection because there's no desire.

Private approaches show the person is worried of being rejected as it mean something to them.

when you do.

Actually saying that I've had a few lovely pm's today which have made me smile.

I'm trying to think of an alternative version, something that has funny different categories.

I think the forum awards stuff is mostly bullshit and that is entirely sour grapes because back when I was new and still nice to people I used to be that one getting all the mentions

I like the alternative awards idea though, that could be fun

Biggest Cunt definitely needs to be a category!

I think that would be impossible to even shortlist

I dunno Ruby. I think we do quite well at it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Special Forum Recognition... Papi, obvs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think I would care much. The only thing that would 100% turn me off is when someone would prioritise other people over meeting me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like forum interaction can be quite detrimental to ones full swing."

I find the forums very differnt to the main site.

Main difference i notice is the forums tend to be full of people being very vocal about why they don't meet/what puts them off meeting.

I'm not sure if this is a simple case of trying to manipulate others behavior or it's a more involved "I'm so exclusive" ego boosting process.

But its certainly a noticeable trend.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I flirt with some forumites that was planned to and has turned into meets, I flirt with some that won't turn into meets and some forumites I don't flirt with publicly but may be arranging to meet...this is swinging so I don't get upset if they flirt with others.

I'm rarely one who gets mentioned in the popularity stakes threads but I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea so just focus on those who am I suited to.

And if I ever turn into a plan B whether it's a forumite or not, there's no second chance. Swinging or not, I want respect and honesty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sometimes flirt in the forum. Not as well as some. My forum flirts are the literary equivalent of chucking a brick at her head with 'fancy a fuck?' written on it in felt tip."

Pucker up Stevie and giz a kiss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frankly I flirt on the forum for a laugh. Sometimes it's will someone I chat to in pm sometimes it's just for a bit of fun. I try not to overdo it. I don't particularly enjoy it when it takes over a thread though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think I would care much. The only thing that would 100% turn me off is when someone would prioritise other people over meeting me."

100% turn offs?

1. Verifications are all from 6-packed adonis like men (won't flirt)

2. Not meeting (won't flirt)

3. Hidden profile (won't flirt)

4. Seem angry at the world (won't flirt)

5. Exclusive with partner, just on forums to chat (won't flirt)

6. Couples (I never know who is doing the typing - won't flirt)

7. Profile is out of age range, height range or any other range (won't flirt)

I flirt with people who appear to be available to meet and would like to meet me, if that's a terrible thing, then colour me terrible....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't affect who I like and who I don't really but I'm not meeting anyone at the moment so that isn't a factor.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I know I an a terrible flirt in fab as in life, ask a friend I had a beer with not two nights ago, I flirted with our waitress...

I do it because I went a long time feeling ugly and worthless, and yes as superficial and sycophantic as it may be on here, fab is helping my confidence grow and keeping my heart light.

When people flirt back I enjoy it, and I make no apology, I receive more "rolly eyes"

Merry Christmas

Preach Pauly preach

I'll not apologise for my flirting, it is who I am

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Don't think I would care much. The only thing that would 100% turn me off is when someone would prioritise other people over meeting me.

100% turn offs?

1. Verifications are all from 6-packed adonis like men (won't flirt)

2. Not meeting (won't flirt)

3. Hidden profile (won't flirt)

4. Seem angry at the world (won't flirt)

5. Exclusive with partner, just on forums to chat (won't flirt)

6. Couples (I never know who is doing the typing - won't flirt)

7. Profile is out of age range, height range or any other range (won't flirt)

I flirt with people who appear to be available to meet and would like to meet me, if that's a terrible thing, then colour me terrible...."

Pauly, it seems like this thread has taken a personal tone for you. I'm not quite sure why the need for a list of your won't flirt reasons. We all have preferences and I don't see why this thread is any different. I flirt in pm mainly, I fuck when I'm not recovering. Nobody is condemning those who do but merely answering a question posted by the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess what annoys me, mildly, is that those of us who like to flirt on the forums can get vilified and you know too many of these

I think vilified is a bit strong. I hold my hands up to being one of the grumpy sods who finds OTT and incessant flirting irritating and fake and regularly say so. I'd hardly call that vilification. Most other people seem to absolutely lap it up though so I'm not sure why you'd care that a few people on a thread think it's a bit wank.

And flirting in general wasn't what the thread is actually about anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think I would care much. The only thing that would 100% turn me off is when someone would prioritise other people over meeting me.

100% turn offs?

1. Verifications are all from 6-packed adonis like men (won't flirt)

2. Not meeting (won't flirt)

3. Hidden profile (won't flirt)

4. Seem angry at the world (won't flirt)

5. Exclusive with partner, just on forums to chat (won't flirt)

6. Couples (I never know who is doing the typing - won't flirt)

7. Profile is out of age range, height range or any other range (won't flirt)

I flirt with people who appear to be available to meet and would like to meet me, if that's a terrible thing, then colour me terrible...."

I may have misread the OP but I don't think the flirting is necessarily the problem.

It is more the case that if you and A N Other were flirting all over the forums and appeared to be 'smitten' with each other, the OP is wary of meeting you in case A N Other pops up and says 'let's meet' and you decide it is a better offer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess what annoys me, mildly, is that those of us who like to flirt on the forums can get vilified and you know too many of these

Ironically, the yawners make me think yawn about them. If something bores you that much, fuck off and find something that doesn't. It's not like there's nothing else to get your rocks off to on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Preach Pauly preach

I'll not apologise for my flirting, it is who I am

To be fair, you probably get more

than I do and I actually admire you for sticking to your guns and not letting that modify your behaviour, we put ourselves out there eh? We expect the knocks...

Is now the time to tell them we met and you didn't fancy me?

where my fecking veri?

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

[Removed by poster at 23/12/16 10:20:59]

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

[Removed by poster at 23/12/16 10:21:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think I would care much. The only thing that would 100% turn me off is when someone would prioritise other people over meeting me.

100% turn offs?

1. Verifications are all from 6-packed adonis like men (won't flirt)

2. Not meeting (won't flirt)

3. Hidden profile (won't flirt)

4. Seem angry at the world (won't flirt)

5. Exclusive with partner, just on forums to chat (won't flirt)

6. Couples (I never know who is doing the typing - won't flirt)

7. Profile is out of age range, height range or any other range (won't flirt)

I flirt with people who appear to be available to meet and would like to meet me, if that's a terrible thing, then colour me terrible....

I may have misread the OP but I don't think the flirting is necessarily the problem.

That's how I read it.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Preach Pauly preach

I'll not apologise for my flirting, it is who I am

To be fair, you probably get more

than I do and I actually admire you for sticking to your guns and not letting that modify your behaviour, we put ourselves out there eh? We expect the knocks...

Is now the time to tell them we met and you didn't fancy me?

where my fecking veri? "

Oh so now you want a veri

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

Third time lucky, posting from a phone can be a nightmare sometimes

I flirt on the forums a lot, I'm no different outside of fab? I'm a flirt plain and simple. I will say it is a little off putting when you're in a conversation with someone and it looks like a meet is on the cards only to then feel you've been put on the back burner thanks to a better offer.

I'm happy to "wait my turn" so to speak, it's just a little frustrating. I guess that's just part of how it goes.

As far as someone having multiple veris from the same person goes that wouldn't put me off at all. For me that just says that they must be pretty damn good at what they do to keep going back for more!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think I would care much. The only thing that would 100% turn me off is when someone would prioritise other people over meeting me.

100% turn offs?

1. Verifications are all from 6-packed adonis like men (won't flirt)

2. Not meeting (won't flirt)

3. Hidden profile (won't flirt)

4. Seem angry at the world (won't flirt)

5. Exclusive with partner, just on forums to chat (won't flirt)

6. Couples (I never know who is doing the typing - won't flirt)

7. Profile is out of age range, height range or any other range (won't flirt)

I flirt with people who appear to be available to meet and would like to meet me, if that's a terrible thing, then colour me terrible....

You are right Meli, it has taken a personal tone, but not in a negative way, perhaps I have "overcooked" my responses, I'd like to think that the OP and I are friends and I hope she does not feel ill of me for derailing her thread, the matter for me is simple, the forums are the forums, perceived connections between two people you do not know are perceived only... if that puts people off, then I think that's a shame but I accept that different things work for others. I will apologise for derailing this thread, I have probably said far too much and will bow out with little grace. Merry Christmas xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think I would care much. The only thing that would 100% turn me off is when someone would prioritise other people over meeting me.

100% turn offs?

1. Verifications are all from 6-packed adonis like men (won't flirt)

2. Not meeting (won't flirt)

3. Hidden profile (won't flirt)

4. Seem angry at the world (won't flirt)

5. Exclusive with partner, just on forums to chat (won't flirt)

6. Couples (I never know who is doing the typing - won't flirt)

7. Profile is out of age range, height range or any other range (won't flirt)

I flirt with people who appear to be available to meet and would like to meet me, if that's a terrible thing, then colour me terrible....

I may have misread the OP but I don't think the flirting is necessarily the problem.

That's how I read it. "

I'm now starting to worry about the amount of times you are agreeing with me on things like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1? "

I just flirt, that's me. If it's in the forum or on pm I will flirt, no preferred place or benefits. Just where it happens sort of thing.

As for the bigger question, other people's interactions don't bother me. People are always having their own convos within threads and I tend to look past them cos it doesn't concern me. I won't be any less inclined to meet someone on the basis of those posts either.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1? "

I do chat to people away from here in much the same manner. I can't help being a terrible flirt, I really am hideous at it in 'real life'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I just flirt, that's me. If it's in the forum or on pm I will flirt, no preferred place or benefits. Just where it happens sort of thing.

Fair enough. I just can't imagine if I liked someone why I wouldn't rather just tell them, instead of telling everyone all the time.

But then I don't really get couples who proclaim their love for each other on social media or families who have their fights in public either.

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1? "

I can send someone a flirtatious pm and it will never even be seen or opened as it's one of hundreds of messages that woman has probably received that day.

A public flirt gets me noticed, she might not see my pm but she'll come back to the thread and see my post. If she likes what she sees then maybe she'll keep an eye out for me in her inbox in future.

It's kind of like jumping the queue to get their attention, you just have to not mind doing it in front of everyone.

That's my take on it anyway.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I just flirt, that's me. If it's in the forum or on pm I will flirt, no preferred place or benefits. Just where it happens sort of thing.

Fair enough. I just can't imagine if I liked someone why I wouldn't rather just tell them, instead of telling everyone all the time.

But then I don't really get couples who proclaim their love for each other on social media or families who have their fights in public either. "

I'm going to witness some of these fights in the supermarket today aren't I?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I just flirt, that's me. If it's in the forum or on pm I will flirt, no preferred place or benefits. Just where it happens sort of thing.

Fair enough. I just can't imagine if I liked someone why I wouldn't rather just tell them, instead of telling everyone all the time.

But then I don't really get couples who proclaim their love for each other on social media or families who have their fights in public either.

I'm going to witness some of these fights in the supermarket today aren't I?"

If you're lucky

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I just flirt, that's me. If it's in the forum or on pm I will flirt, no preferred place or benefits. Just where it happens sort of thing.

Fair enough. I just can't imagine if I liked someone why I wouldn't rather just tell them, instead of telling everyone all the time.

But then I don't really get couples who proclaim their love for each other on social media or families who have their fights in public either.

I'm going to witness some of these fights in the supermarket today aren't I?

If you're lucky

I fecking love Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I do chat to people away from here in much the same manner. I can't help being a terrible flirt, I really am hideous at it in 'real life' "

I flirt in 'real life' too. It's something I have just become known by now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to witness some of these fights in the supermarket today aren't I?"

I hate shopping at Xmas for that reason. I have stood there gobsmacked before at the kind of arguments you witness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I think most of us flirt, it's a pretty normal human behaviour.

However, I suppose this is the difference between people. Some are more open, some are more private. I would say that it's probably better to have a little awareness that taking up threads with incessant flirting, I'm talking about the ones where you have to scroll through posts and posts of it, are going to annoy people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I just flirt, that's me. If it's in the forum or on pm I will flirt, no preferred place or benefits. Just where it happens sort of thing.

Fair enough. I just can't imagine if I liked someone why I wouldn't rather just tell them, instead of telling everyone all the time.

But then I don't really get couples who proclaim their love for each other on social media or families who have their fights in public either.

I'm going to witness some of these fights in the supermarket today aren't I?"

There's going to be definite trolley wars!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I can send someone a flirtatious pm and it will never even be seen or opened as it's one of hundreds of messages that woman has probably received that day.

A public flirt gets me noticed, she might not see my pm but she'll come back to the thread and see my post. If she likes what she sees then maybe she'll keep an eye out for me in her inbox in future.

It's kind of like jumping the queue to get their attention, you just have to not mind doing it in front of everyone.

That's my take on it anyway."

Oh, I quite like that take on it.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I just flirt, that's me. If it's in the forum or on pm I will flirt, no preferred place or benefits. Just where it happens sort of thing.

Fair enough. I just can't imagine if I liked someone why I wouldn't rather just tell them, instead of telling everyone all the time.

But then I don't really get couples who proclaim their love for each other on social media or families who have their fights in public either.

I'm going to witness some of these fights in the supermarket today aren't I?

There's going to be definite trolley wars! "

I'm gonna trolley surf through it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I can send someone a flirtatious pm and it will never even be seen or opened as it's one of hundreds of messages that woman has probably received that day.

A public flirt gets me noticed, she might not see my pm but she'll come back to the thread and see my post. If she likes what she sees then maybe she'll keep an eye out for me in her inbox in future.

It's kind of like jumping the queue to get their attention, you just have to not mind doing it in front of everyone.

That's my take on it anyway."

That makes perfect sense, and (this is not a criticism just an observation) kind of backs up what I was saying that it's about reinforcing your own position, getting that person to notice, rather than that there's actually a connection between you.

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

I would meet them. It all depends on my pms and interactions with them away from forums. I have always had the opinion that whatever has been said on forums stays there it's unreal. Some people live their time on fab through the forums very open about who they like fancy, some do it in pms as they want to keep things private. I don't believe that because someone flirts alot with someone that they would make you a second choice, if they did then they weren't really a good choice for you. I don't care if people flirt but the falseness of some of it makes me laugh.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Yes it would put me off as the constant need to be centre stage and have people stroking your ego or flirt central, I find

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

"For those who like the public flirtation can I ask (just because I'm interested) what the benefit is of doing it in public as opposed to just pm'ing that person or chatting to them 1 on 1?

I can send someone a flirtatious pm and it will never even be seen or opened as it's one of hundreds of messages that woman has probably received that day.

A public flirt gets me noticed, she might not see my pm but she'll come back to the thread and see my post. If she likes what she sees then maybe she'll keep an eye out for me in her inbox in future.

It's kind of like jumping the queue to get their attention, you just have to not mind doing it in front of everyone.

That's my take on it anyway.

I see what you're saying and I agree, sometimes it does look like people are marking their territory which is fine, they're obviously proud they've pulled a hot forumite and I think that's kind of nice in a way. I prefer to move the conversation away from the forums if there is a sufficient connection but you have to get them to notice you first before you can find that out.

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I may have misread the OP but I don't think the flirting is necessarily the problem.

Yes, thats it. Amy problem I have with PDAs is just that - my problem. I was just wondering if others feel the same.

I struggle with meets on Fab, not being as blatantly sexual as many, so use the forums to make a connection. I just find it dismaying when I see that another connection looks stronger. I'm just going to have to woman up and take the flirting less seriously. As many have said, if the guy is swayed that easily, he wasn't for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait im guessing a PDA isnt those crappy little electronic things we had before phones?

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Wait im guessing a PDA isnt those crappy little electronic things we had before phones?"

Public Displays of Affection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may have misread the OP but I don't think the flirting is necessarily the problem.

Yes, thats it. Amy problem I have with PDAs is just that - my problem. I was just wondering if others feel the same.

It can be a bit frustrating but it's not as bad as being asked to be the 'starter' before someone else's main course

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I may have misread the OP but I don't think the flirting is necessarily the problem.

Yes, thats it. Amy problem I have with PDAs is just that - my problem. I was just wondering if others feel the same.

It can be a bit frustrating but it's not as bad as being asked to be the 'starter' before someone else's main course

Now that's just mean!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may have misread the OP but I don't think the flirting is necessarily the problem.

Yes, thats it. Amy problem I have with PDAs is just that - my problem. I was just wondering if others feel the same.

It can be a bit frustrating but it's not as bad as being asked to be the 'starter' before someone else's main course

Please tell me this didn't actually happen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may have misread the OP but I don't think the flirting is necessarily the problem.

Yes, thats it. Amy problem I have with PDAs is just that - my problem. I was just wondering if others feel the same.

It can be a bit frustrating but it's not as bad as being asked to be the 'starter' before someone else's main course

Please tell me this didn't actually happen? "

I'd say yes, but you had better warn her you won't have an appetite after your starter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never flirt anyway. I'm blatant about who I want on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pyramid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may have misread the OP but I don't think the flirting is necessarily the problem.

Yes, thats it. Amy problem I have with PDAs is just that - my problem. I was just wondering if others feel the same.

It can be a bit frustrating but it's not as bad as being asked to be the 'starter' before someone else's main course

Please tell me this didn't actually happen? "

Ok I'll tell you it didn't actually happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very good friend of mine introduced me to Fab and the forums, he's posted on here for years.

He said to me at the beginning, there are those who flirt and there are those who fuck, never confuse the two.

He was right.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"A very good friend of mine introduced me to Fab and the forums, he's posted on here for years.

He said to me at the beginning, there are those who flirt and there are those who fuck, never confuse the two.

He was right."

And some who do both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A very good friend of mine introduced me to Fab and the forums, he's posted on here for years.

He said to me at the beginning, there are those who flirt and there are those who fuck, never confuse the two.

He was right."

I'm a fucker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do the first and I'm waiting for a chance to do the second. Do I get a badge if I do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP wasn't about flirting in the forums per se, it was does someone being marked as 'fab taken' by the flirting put you off meeting them?

I said yes it does as I don't think they're maybe worthwhile perusing time wise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The OP wasn't about flirting in the forums per se, it was does someone being marked as 'fab taken' by the flirting put you off meeting them?

I said yes it does as I don't think they're maybe worthwhile perusing time wise.

I agree. On the flip side, I've met people who I know meet other forum people / are friends with them / whatever - but because they don't do the public stamping thing it hasn't bothered me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The OP wasn't about flirting in the forums per se, it was does someone being marked as 'fab taken' by the flirting put you off meeting them?

I said yes it does as I don't think they're maybe worthwhile perusing time wise.

I agree. On the flip side, I've met people who I know meet other forum people / are friends with them / whatever - but because they don't do the public stamping thing it hasn't bothered me."

Same here.*

*are we now having a public love in with all this agreeing....

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple
over a year ago

st helens

"Sounds like forum interaction can be quite detrimental to ones full swing.

I find the forums very differnt to the main site.

Main difference i notice is the forums tend to be full of people being very vocal about why they don't meet/what puts them off meeting.

I'm not sure if this is a simple case of trying to manipulate others behavior or it's a more involved "I'm so exclusive" ego boosting process.

But its certainly a noticeable trend."

Either way it doesn't sound very healthy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The OP wasn't about flirting in the forums per se, it was does someone being marked as 'fab taken' by the flirting put you off meeting them?

I said yes it does as I don't think they're maybe worthwhile perusing time wise.

I agree. On the flip side, I've met people who I know meet other forum people / are friends with them / whatever - but because they don't do the public stamping thing it hasn't bothered me.

Same here.*

*are we now having a public love in with all this agreeing....

We'd better get a room

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who flirts with whom in the forums has no impact on me at all.

xxxxx Suzi "

Totally agree there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The OP wasn't about flirting in the forums per se, it was does someone being marked as 'fab taken' by the flirting put you off meeting them?

I said yes it does as I don't think they're maybe worthwhile perusing time wise.

Public flirting usually means that they haven't had sex. Most of the time it doesn't seem to get past that.

PMs are a much better guide of intent. I don't think you or the Op are reading it right.

Multi veries are another matter though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

I've been guilty of this recently. I apologise for offending or boring anyone, or jeopardising anyone's meets. I'm on a swingers website, and I'm not claiming exclusivity with anyone. I think a lot of this boils down to insecurity, and sometimes just having fun in the moment on a thread. Insecurity in that reciprocal public flirts can be a confidence boost as it's done in front of others, rather than 'behind the scenes' in a PM. Quite likely some exhibitionism too, we all have different things that make us feel good, for some the public element may be part of that. I am fickle in that I've rolled eyes at others doing this, then have also done it myself. What to do?

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple
over a year ago

st helens

"Who flirts with whom in the forums has no impact on me at all.

xxxxx Suzi

Totally agree there.

Even in the short time we've been on the site we've noticed exactly the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

Keep on rolling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who flirts with whom in the forums has no impact on me at all.

xxxxx Suzi

Totally agree there.

Even in the short time we've been on the site we've noticed exactly the same thing. "

Bollocks, I've fabbed your pics to prove it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My flirting might start in public in the forum but with those I want to meet I flirt in private with them. Doesn't really bother me who flirts with who public ally or how overt it might be tbh. Have fun folks

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

Keep on with the hypocrisy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

Keep on with the hypocrisy

But I'm wary of upsetting anyone. And fear I have.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Keep on with the hypocrisy

But I'm wary of upsetting anyone. And fear I have. "

Oh gosh. My comment was of the tongue in cheek variety and I used a rarely used emoji and everything to indicate that. Apologies Estella. Maybe pm to clarify? I'm unsure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

Keep on with the hypocrisy

But I'm wary of upsetting anyone. And fear I have. "

I don't think it's a problem & if anyone's upset by flirting then they need to have a rethink.

I'm not upset when I choose not too persue someone who I think is a smitten kitten (forum wise) I just think onto the next...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

Keep on with the hypocrisy

That's true but you have to admire her honesty.

I guess deep down we're all a bit hypocritical.

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By *yrdwoman OP Woman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I guess deep down we're all a bit hypocritical. "

I can't argue with this!

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

"Keep on with the hypocrisy

But I'm wary of upsetting anyone. And fear I have.

Oh gosh. My comment was of the tongue in cheek variety and I used a rarely used emoji and everything to indicate that. Apologies Estella. Maybe pm to clarify? I'm unsure."

So is it acceptable to see a profile u like the look of on a thread , and pm them direct ..is that better?? Lmao

Im confused..lol

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

Personally speaking.

I realise its a swing site. We are here for swinging.

So I dont let it effect me.

But do understand where you are coming from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A very good friend of mine introduced me to Fab and the forums, he's posted on here for years.

He said to me at the beginning, there are those who flirt and there are those who fuck, never confuse the too .

Forkers (quite a few of the regular forumites) do both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it's maybe just the way I'm wired but alot of this apparent incessant flirting and lamp post pissing goes over my head. It has to be specifically pointed out to me.

The only flirting that bothers me is when someone is being creepy and the recipient isn't interested, especially if it's a way to bypass filters. But I understand mods take a dim _iew of that.

I do find flirting out of line when you know people have hooked up in real life, and dominate an unrelated thread. Just PM?

As for the OP's actual question. No the flirting doesn't put us of, it's a swingers site, we don't care who else is chasing who. It's all about how they treat us. Nobody likes being put on the reserve bench, but we dare say we've done it, it's an aspect of swinging you just have to deal with.

We'd be unlikely to meet forumites anyway, mainly due to distance and bad experience, and the locals are either incompatible or cunts.

We know a few forumites in real life, but they're irregular posters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion forums flirting its all wind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A very good friend of mine introduced me to Fab and the forums, he's posted on here for years.

He said to me at the beginning, there are those who flirt and there are those who fuck, never confuse the two.

He was right."

Meh, I don't think he is. It's denying the complexity of the situation and people simply don't fit in neat little boxes.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Biggest Cunt definitely needs to be a category! "

Sponsored by the Northern Echo?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A very good friend of mine introduced me to Fab and the forums, he's posted on here for years.

He said to me at the beginning, there are those who flirt and there are those who fuck, never confuse the two.

He was right.

Meh, I don't think he is. It's denying the complexity of the situation and people simply don't fit in neat little boxes. "

Of course it is more complex than that,but he has a point though.

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Crikey, my main knee jerk reaction to forum flirting is to feel envious of those who seem to be naturally and unashamedly good at it.

As others up thread have already said, it's undoubtedly one way of bringing yourself to someone else's attention ... maybe testing the water a little to see if you get a positive response back, if you're nervous about straight out messaging. If nothing else, it's clearly fun, and flattering, to banter back and forth, and play with words.

I find it almost impossible to flirt but that's my problem obviously ... and that boils down to a lack of self confidence and a fear of looking stupid, or being humiliated by having my woeful efforts publicly ignored. I probably think about it too much, to my disadvantage ... the times I've thought of a retort to someone I like, and chickened out of posting are ridiculous. Though I like it on the rare occasions others flirt with me.

Would I be put off meeting someone who's deemed a forum flirt? Not necessarily .... that'd depend on the background interaction we had. Like every sort of forum post I read, I absorb little snippets of someone's (online) personality .... whether they're respectful, kind or not, funny, 'thick' or inclusive etc. I take the same info from the flirty stuff as much as the serious stuff. Would I want to be someone's fall back plan? .... well, not overtly, no .... but where most of us are looking for, or actively participating in, multiple meets, fact is, you will hit it off with some better than others and it's pointless to dwell on 'who's best'. For me it's about the consideration and respect I'm shown 'in the moment', as well as during the preamble .... obviously, anyone who harped on and on about how wonderful another specific meet was while with you would get short shrift as that'd be pretty crass.

Now .... if anyone would be so kind as to set up flirting classes for the utterly useless, I'll be your first willing pupil ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Crikey, my main knee jerk reaction to forum flirting is to feel envious of those who seem to be naturally and unashamedly good at it.

Now .... if anyone would be so kind as to set up flirting classes for the utterly useless, I'll be your first willing pupil ...... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keep on with the hypocrisy

But I'm wary of upsetting anyone. And fear I have.

Oh gosh. My comment was of the tongue in cheek variety and I used a rarely used emoji and everything to indicate that. Apologies Estella. Maybe pm to clarify? I'm unsure."

Meli no! No offence was taken at your comment, no, no -- I'm just conscious that I may have upset people/persons with my flirting. Just wanted to clarify that was never my intent, and much as I can't control or influence someone else's response to me or my actions, I think it's important for me to clarify my intent (or lack thereof) to upset/impact another. I think sometimes I flirt also to boost the other person to feel good and confident and know they're wonderful, and oddly enough am delighted if that boosts their esteem and is a way of saying 'look here, this person is brilliant people should totally get to know them' and I'm now realising that perhaps that is counterintuitive. It's mostly a way of addressing my own insecurities though. Ah well.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I can see what you mean...but I never think that the ones who fill up the threads flirting with each other actually have a connection anyway because if they did they'd just pm each other, (or if they like each other that much then surely they'd be in contact off the site). The public flirting seems more about asserting their own positions rather than demonstrating a connection to each other.

But I have an inbuilt aversion to being second best that means I probably wouldn't go there."

This!

Also, it's a way of getting around filters. I'm not renowned for my powers of observation but I notice what you mean op, mainly with single men continuing with inane flirting/comments as the couple/single woman has men blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Crikey, my main knee jerk reaction to forum flirting is to feel envious of those who seem to be naturally and unashamedly good at it.

Now .... if anyone would be so kind as to set up flirting classes for the utterly useless, I'll be your first willing pupil ...... "

Pretty much agree to all that. Similar to what I posted.

Now, lesson no 1, start with the basics: 2 step approach. I have responded in a sincere and non sexual way to your post as I liked it. Next step, something a bit naughty, so I could say 'love the new pics by the way' or 'you would never be second best to me'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keep on with the hypocrisy

But I'm wary of upsetting anyone. And fear I have.

Oh gosh. My comment was of the tongue in cheek variety and I used a rarely used emoji and everything to indicate that. Apologies Estella. Maybe pm to clarify? I'm unsure.

My response to that though is just carry on being yourself. Sorry if that's patronising.

Better to let your natural personality shine through. Some seem quick to accuse others of having an agenda or creating a false persona.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Crikey, my main knee jerk reaction to forum flirting is to feel envious of those who seem to be naturally and unashamedly good at it.

Now .... if anyone would be so kind as to set up flirting classes for the utterly useless, I'll be your first willing pupil ......

Shall we set up a school Pauly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now, lesson no 1, start with the basics: 2 step approach. I have responded in a sincere and non sexual way to your post as I liked it. Next step, something a bit naughty, so I could say 'love the new pics by the way' or 'you would never be second best to me'

Not sure if these are real flirting rules or not...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure if these are real flirting rules or not...

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

So in summary this is a sex site where people might flirt and have sex?

Or people may not want to flirt or have sex

Some may want to do one and not the other and we should all carry on as we were??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we just need a flirting forum like the politics one... bury it in the arse end of nowhere and I can go play..... probably on my own... ever tried playing kerplunk on your own? It's shite... I don't "try" to connect with some people on the forums because they have made it blatantly clear that it would be unwelcome, but as a forum flirt I will flirt a lot with people that reciprocate, if this implies emotional attachment then that's quite judgemental... if you are someone that doesn't like the sycophantic smoke blowing love ins and are vocal about it, it seems a little strange that you would then act bitter and butt hurt when you are left out... anyway... London bound... put the kettle on love, there's a doll (so going to get roasted for that!)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Maybe we just need a flirting forum like the politics one... bury it in the arse end of nowhere and I can go play..... probably on my own... ever tried playing kerplunk on your own? It's shite... I don't "try" to connect with some people on the forums because they have made it blatantly clear that it would be unwelcome, but as a forum flirt I will flirt a lot with people that reciprocate, if this implies emotional attachment then that's quite judgemental... if you are someone that doesn't like the sycophantic smoke blowing love ins and are vocal about it, it seems a little strange that you would then act bitter and butt hurt when you are left out... anyway... London bound... put the kettle on love, there's a doll (so going to get roasted for that!)

I'll be there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

Pretty sure that there's always going to be someone the person I'm meeting fancies more than me...

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Shit are you seeing the same person? Must be smitten

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alright dearest, don't forget to bring the sellotape so you can help me wrap my prezzies up. See you later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

Pretty sure that there's always going to be someone the person I'm meeting fancies more than me..."

Which, by the law of averages, suggests that you're bound to be the more fancied person sometimes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit are you seeing the same person? Must be smitten

You're welcome to join Honeybun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/b6UAYGxiRwU

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

Pretty sure that there's always going to be someone the person I'm meeting fancies more than me...

Which, by the law of averages, suggests that you're bound to be the more fancied person sometimes..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit are you seeing the same person? Must be smitten

You're welcome to join Honeybun.

Well that's me watching... she won't fuck me cos I dribble... (lamest excuse ever)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But isn't the lounge effectively already serving that purpose? Just an area to shoot the shit or flirt, talk crap? That's why I liked the politics forum being made separate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So much butthurt on this thread! Fuck me, just own your own behaviour and accept that other people might not always like it. I accept that people probably don't want to meet me because of the way I choose to interact on the forums, and I'm totally fine with that because it just means they don't "get" me, same as I don't "get" the thread fillers.

Merry Christmas, fuckers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So much butthurt on this thread! Fuck me, just own your own behaviour and accept that other people might not always like it. I accept that people probably don't want to meet me because of the way I choose to interact on the forums, and I'm totally fine with that because it just means they don't "get" me, same as I don't "get" the thread fillers.

Merry Christmas, fuckers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Merry Christmas, fuckers

Up your bum

Merry Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Merry Christmas, fuckers

Merry Christmas to you hot lips.

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

On a related note I'll happily meet the same people if you get on well and the sex is great, I mean why wouldn't you? It certainly doesn't mean I don't want to have that with other people too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before I bugger off (waits for cheers to die down)... I think this has been quite a cool thread so

to the OP... and yes... I am a vain, sycophantic, smoke blowing flirt... in real life and on fab...but honesty is so much better than deception... don't you think

Peace to all and other chrimbo bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a related note I'll happily meet the same people if you get on well and the sex is great, I mean why wouldn't you? It certainly doesn't mean I don't want to have that with other people too!"

Yes!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Merry Christmas, fuckers

Merry Christmas

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Before I bugger off (waits for cheers to die down)... I think this has been quite a cool thread so

to the OP... and yes... I am a vain, sycophantic, smoke blowing flirt... in real life and on fab...but honesty is so much better than deception... don't you think

Peace to all and other chrimbo bollocks

Don;t let the door hit you on the way out

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Before I bugger off (waits for cheers to die down)... I think this has been quite a cool thread so

to the OP... and yes... I am a vain, sycophantic, smoke blowing flirt... in real life and on fab...but honesty is so much better than deception... don't you think

Peace to all and other chrimbo bollocks

I have visions of you singing "peace on earth par rum pa pum pum" now.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Shit are you seeing the same person? Must be smitten

You're welcome to join Honeybun.

Well that's me watching... she won't fuck me cos I dribble... (lamest excuse ever)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Merry Christmas, fuckers

And flirters!

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i think the forum and my interactions on it are a fair indication of my character. if i've take the time to compliment, or flirt a little, it means i like you/ what you have said/ your pic etc.

i don't fake flirt, cant see the point.

no i don't modify my behaviour to assage other peoples insecurities.

sometimes the forums are a fun place to be and at other times they are not. it is what it is. i love hosting threads here and being inclusive, with no agenda. whom i am attracted to, i just observe, interact with and at the right time connect. how other people use the forum to attract others, isnt really my business. but if i want to say 'hi beautiful' to someone i know and like then i will do, i'm not going to ignore people i know and get on well with x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

How big are his biceps ?

How big is his cock ?

Is the other woman one of the crazies ?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Merry Christmas, fuckers

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

"Crikey, my main knee jerk reaction to forum flirting is to feel envious of those who seem to be naturally and unashamedly good at it.

Now .... if anyone would be so kind as to set up flirting classes for the utterly useless, I'll be your first willing pupil ......

Shall we set up a school Pauly?"

Yes please, when do lessons start ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure if these are real flirting rules or not...

I think the lack of response answers your question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

didnt understand a word of that ?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Just to rewind to the beginning...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I find it puts me off, as I don't want to arrange a meet when that meet might be cancelled when they get an offer off someone they demonstrably fancy more. might be being daft though.

No.

Not an issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gissakiss DJ?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It matters to some. And not to others. Took a bit of time to get to that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to steer clear of the lamp post pissin threads as I doubt I'll be mentioned so there's little point looking. Plus in not that interested in anyone atm I'm just happy plodding on with my make today happy thread n my PTU ratings thread.

Although I'm still waiting for my ss pic.

I put a lot of thought into mine.

but hey ho it's crimbletide, I've done all my shopping and although im in pain n exhausted today I'm still happy. Xxx

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