FabSwingers.com forum: Your best non-sweary insults...

By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Not aimed an anyone specific, so play nicely!

...I hope you step on Lego!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you step on a plug

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope your next jobby is a hedgehog

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Your birth certificate...

...is an appology letter from Durex...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you slam your pinky on the door frame!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are from the shallow end of the gene pool.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I would love to insult you...

...but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Muppet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All those millions of sperm cells, but you had to win that race instead!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

Doom brain is a favorite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tit head

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

"Your birth certificate...

...is an appology letter from Durex..."

Omg I love this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the words of 'El' :

Mouth Breather

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen some pricks in my time but you good Sir are a cactus!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your birth certificate...

...is an appology letter from Durex..."

I just spat my coffee out!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Oxygen thief !

Miss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *XMandMXxCouple
over a year ago

swindon

"Lumpish half-faced hedge pig"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/16 17:42:05]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shut your whining you filthy piece of distended rectum" - Arnold j Rimmer

Absolute belting insult that I've borrowed on more than 1 occasion.

Ess

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

You must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Ya daft Numpty

I know it's harsh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look at you and think "Huh! THAT'S the sperm that won"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How can you be so stupid with only one head

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *duk70Man
over a year ago

langley

I've forgotten more than you've learnt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

If you had even half a brain cell you'd be dangerous!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'You know what? You make me tired.'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to part your hair.

If brais were chocolate, you couldn't fill a smarty.

You are number two on the list of all time loosers, you could have been number one, but your such a loser.

If I throw a stick, will you go away.

When you were born they slapped your Mother.

If you look up the word stupid in the dictionary, do you know what you find *(a picture of me)* no the word stupid, stupid!

He's so ugly even cillit wouldn't bang him.

Do you know what they do to guys that look like you in prison? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Do you have ANY! unexpressed opinions?

Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

I'm just trying to imagine what you would look like with a human head.

Listen, I'm more of a man than you will ever be, and more woman than you will ever get.

Did your parents have any children that lived.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

If I want to hear from an asshole....I'll fart

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

looks like they kept the afterbirth and threw the baby away

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Shut your whining you filthy piece of distended rectum" - Arnold j Rimmer

Absolute belting insult that I've borrowed on more than 1 occasion.

Ess"

Smeg head!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Shut your whining you filthy piece of distended rectum" - Arnold j Rimmer

Absolute belting insult that I've borrowed on more than 1 occasion.

Ess

Smeg head!"

Better smeg than dead

Ess

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bush whackin', sidewindin', hornswagglin', crocker croaker.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erdita Von TeaseWoman
over a year ago

nottingham

Swampdonkey

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you had a twin....you might make a half-wit between you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ooby birdWoman
over a year ago

North West

Kiss my milky white arse - tiny bit sweary sorry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"is that, the best you can do?"

i'm not generally insulting, in the first instance..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

We use Pilchard instead of Cunt when we are with our kids, very entertaining afternoon I've just spent with them

"Daddy that mans such a pilchard for leaving his trolley there".

"Yes dear he certainly is!!".

Numpty is another favorite.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Cock womble

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"Your birth certificate...

...is an appology letter from Durex..."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

Tosspot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *verready32Man
over a year ago

omagh

Put lipstick on your arse, its got to look better than your face

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mum should have swallowed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my fav is hope you take the runs at the first set of red traffic lights, or you are as useful as a one legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You're a fun pump in reverse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hope your next jobby is a hedgehog"

and it comes out backwards.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you're so unattractive your picture is underneath the word"ugly" in the dictionary

you're so ugly the nurse smacked your mother when you were born

you're so ugly your mum fed you with a catapult

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont you need a license to be that ugly ?

You have an inferiority complex .... and its fully justified.

What language are you speaking ? Cause it sounds like bullshit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made one up in Spanish lessons..

Turns Madre es la eiha de la mono con rabia.

Your mother is the daughter of a monkey with rabies!

But old Arabic one I know is best.. More a curse..

May the spawn if a 1000 came spiders infest your rectum!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I made one up in Spanish lessons..

Turns Madre es la eiha de la mono con rabia.

Your mother is the daughter of a monkey with rabies!

But old Arabic one I know is best.. More a curse..

May the spawn if a 1000 came spiders infest your rectum! "

Tu Madres.. Not turns

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drivin the spaz bus is rubbing off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go forth and multiply

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Go piss up a rope you fuckstick !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

And that was the sperm that won???

JG x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This could be taken a few different ways, when replying to someone who asks "do you like my dress / shoes / bag...?"

I reply with ~ 'it's very you'....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bless you're heart but you are ugly

Bless you're heart you are a waste of space

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See my status, non sweary and topical.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slightly sweaty but I also like to call people cockwombles

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See my status, non sweary and topical. "

Yesssssss! I love this. Are you a secret ELF fan?...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/16 20:17:09]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was your father, I would still be trying to abort you !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ose CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

I won't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dick.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope all your kids have small dicks and that includes the girls!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bush whackin', sidewindin', hornswagglin', crocker croaker."

Hahaha this made me chuckle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At work it's Waste of kit!

I like, May you live in interesting times

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine was "I'm sorry there is no one to take your message right now please leave your comments at www.boo@gofuckyourself.com"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whoops maybe I was sweary

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oxygen thief

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not aimed an anyone specific, so play nicely!

...I hope you step on Lego!

"
how can anyone be so stupid with only one head

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had even half a brain cell you'd be dangerous!

Love this one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

The best part of you ran down your mothers thigh , what a copey dunt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't say anything. I just pull my, Are you for real? face. Usually works.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Karma's just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink. She says she'll be with you shortly!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's actually pretty easy not to be a shitty human being.....You should try it some time!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

Technically not sweary..

"Thou still born bastard of a thrice poxed whore"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You spawny eyed parrot faced wassock.. in the song from radio sheff dj Tony Capstick.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

You wern't born, you were wanked onto a rock, and hatched in the sun

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

you rancid globule of vulture phlegm

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did you get out the birth canal?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flea bag

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/16 22:37:16]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See my status, non sweary and topical.

Yesssssss! I love this. Are you a secret ELF fan?...

No secret he's awesome.

Don't forget people tomorrow 10am Santa's coming.

SANTA! Oh my God I know him...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If had a face like yours, I'd stand on my hands and teach my arse to speak.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See my status, non sweary and topical.

Yesssssss! I love this. Are you a secret ELF fan?...

No secret he's awesome.

Don't forget people tomorrow 10am Santa's coming.

SANTA! Oh my God I know him... "

I love elf.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

Your like a bogey that you just can't flick off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Were you born on the motorway?

...because that's where most accidents happen...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

You're like a Slinky...useless...

...but I can't help smiling when you fall down the stairs...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

May the fleas of a million camels infest your underpants

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a life and stop borrowing mine!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope your balls turn into bicycle wheels and back pedal up your arse!

Your as thick as a whale omelette

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May the fleas of a million camels infest your underpants"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would love to insult you...

...but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're a lot like me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Knob jockey

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

NFN

Douchebag

Tool

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turd muncher

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Putrid window-Licking Turbomong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best insult is to make the other person feel like they don't exist ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

the last time i saw a figure likes yours,,,,,,,,,

it was being milked

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * inch DanMan
over a year ago

Chinnor

Didn't your parents hear about contraception

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep in touch with yourself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Current favorite is Dingbat

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive seen better...Been with worse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ire_thornMan
over a year ago

no comment

"Swampdonkey"

Why this made me laugh so hard I have no idea

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * inch DanMan
over a year ago

Chinnor

C u next Tuesday

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ire_thornMan
over a year ago

no comment

Your mother should have swallowed

I bet the best part of you ended up as a brown stain on the mattress

Did your parents have any children that lived

I've seen better heads on a mug of beer

Take a long walk of a short pier

If I were in a room with you Hitler and stain, and had a gun with two bullets I'd shoot you twice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ka-sammi_n_danCouple
over a year ago

nantwich

Can you even tie your shoelaces ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your birth certificate...

...is an appology letter from Durex..."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Addle pated Clodpoll

I'd go back home if I were you, a village is missing its idiot!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your dad sells avon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're so old that when you were a kid rainbows were black and white

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

"The best insult is to make the other person feel like they don't exist ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Doughnut head

Dingbat

Smeg head is a great one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quick! Run! The Sunshine Bus is leaving without you! Don't eat all the Crayons!

When being called fat "I can lose weight luv, sadly you're stuck with that face"

Beauty may be skin deep but your Ugly goes right to the bone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish you nothing but Microsoft support calls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago

Uptown Top Ranking

A face only a mother could love....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Absolute Fritzl-admiring waste of oxygen

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You my friend, are living proof that natural selection doesn't work!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Oh...are you still here?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spunk bubble

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ral DMan
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Your birth certificate...

...is an appology letter from Durex..."

Brilliant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You were the first child to have roller shutters on your pram!!!!

You've got a face like a stunt mans knee!!!!

We had to tie a pork chop on you so the dog would play with you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Cockwomble

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *_89Man
over a year ago

Here and there

You're a spherical idiot; (An idiot from whatever angle you're looked at)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have the kinda face only a Mother could love"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread