FabSwingers.com forum: Corny jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

That's quite good for a corny joke

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Two cannibals are eating a clown,

"'Ere," says on t'other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two snowmen chatting.... one says "can you smell carrot "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two cannibals are eating a clown,

"'Ere," says on t'other, "Does this taste funny to you?""

Is this the level we are at already? Excellent

Two old ladies are sitting at a bus stop when a man walked passed and flashed at them.

One had a stroke, the other couldn't reach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My bloody dog ate all the scrabble tiles last night. His next shit could spell disaster.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"My bloody dog ate all the scrabble tiles last night. His next shit could spell disaster."

Weyhey!!!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I sleep like a baby - I wake up screaming each night at 2am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm buying the wife an artificial leg this year. It's not her main present, just a stocking filler.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two parrots sitting on a perch, one says , do you smell fish?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'm buying the wife an artificial leg this year. It's not her main present, just a stocking filler."

Oh, you're good at these!

Spent the last three days alone trying to learn escapology. I need to get out more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do call a chicken with a lettuce on its beak?

Chicken caesar salad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street, first nun says "I've never come

this way before" second nun replies "Must be the cobbles"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur...?

A Lickolotofpuss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats brown and sticky

A stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fly with no wings

A walk

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Everyone has a racist gran. I call mine Ku Klux nan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One monkey says oo oo aa aa aa

The other one says its not that hot

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

(better said out loud and terribly hilarious as a kid but...)

Why does Edward Woodward have four Ds in his name?

Otherwise he'd be Ewar Woowar!

(I'll get my coat...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 blondes in a travel agents, 1st blonde says to the 2nd 'Wheres furthest, the moon or Florida?' the 2nd blonde replied 'Hello...can u see Florida from here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex broke up with me because of my obsession with the Monkees. At first I thought she was joking... and then I saw her face.

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr dre

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

From my window all I can see is fish fingers. I’ve got a Birds Eye view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a train full of toffee?

A chew chew train

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

If Harry Potter's so magical, why can't he cure his own eyesight and get laid?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to play the triangle in a Jamaican Reggae Orchestra, it was good fun, I just had to stand at the back and ting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur...?

A Lickolotofpuss

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A megasorearse

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I used to play the triangle in a Jamaican Reggae Orchestra, it was good fun, I just had to stand at the back and ting. "

LOOOOOOL

Sex education at my school was a muttered warning about the janitor.

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough

A sandwich walks into a bar and asks for pint. The barman says "No, sorry. We don't serve food in here".

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough

I bought a thesaurus and didn't notice until I got home that every page in it is blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fsh

What do you call two Irish gay men.

William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror?

Halloumi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lollercoasting at this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two cannibals are eating a clown,

"'Ere," says on t'other, "Does this taste funny to you?""

Hahahahahahaaaaaa!

I must be tires this made me LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you make a snooker table laugh?

Put your hands in its pocket & tickle its balls

How do you make a pin laugh

Tickle its prick

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

I walked into a library and asked if they had any books on shelving?

They barred me

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur...?

A Lickolotofpuss

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A megasorearse"

What do you call a dinosaur who has only one boss eye, a severe nervous blink and a squint?

Doyouthinkesaurus

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why did the bicycle fall over?

It was two tyred!

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By *rybeforeyoubuy71Man
over a year ago

cramlington

Why was the blonde staring at a carton of orange juice because it said concentrate ( drum roll and high hat )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My thoughts are if a zombie wats me ill be like are you shitting me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My gf is so brain dead that when zombies come I can't trip her up coz they'll just ignore the brainless numpty

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Three blondes were celebrating, chanting 6 months 6 months yay, when asked what they were so happy about, they said they'ed just finished a jig-saw puzzle that said 2-3 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three blondes were celebrating, chanting 6 months 6 months yay, when asked what they were so happy about, they said they'ed just finished a jig-saw puzzle that said 2-3 years"

Lol

That one tickled me a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats brown and sticky

A stick"

What's green and smells like yellow paint?

Green paint.

__________________________________

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's green with 6 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A snooker table!

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By *igjrvMan
over a year ago

blackwood

Why did the deaf dumb and blind woman's dog commit suicide?

Wouldn't you with a name like thumpth y lumpthus

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

Been told to stop doing my flamingo impression. I'm putting my foot down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

Why can't owls mate in the rain ?

Too wet to woo !

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By *andm_69Couple
over a year ago

Stevenage

Brilliant thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id rather be in this thread than read about the people dying in germany,so much misery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two nuns in a bath, one says "where's the soap?" The other says "yes it does doesn't it!"

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By *andm_69Couple
over a year ago

Stevenage

What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg?

Limp Bizkit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you spot a blind man on a nudist beach?

It's not hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?

Because he had no body to go with

Boom Boom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt!

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

A bloke walks into a drum kit...

fudladumpf tish

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Why was 6 scared of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why was 6 scared of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9...

That is do bad...poor effort Joe!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why was 6 scared of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9...

That is do bad...poor effort Joe!"

So*

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Why was 6 scared of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9...

That is do bad...poor effort Joe!

So*"

Errm... what's the title of the thread?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with a plank of wood on his head?

Edward.

What do you call a man with two planks of wood on his head.

Edward woodward

What do you call a man with 3 planks of wood on his head?

I don't know either but Edward woodward would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shakespeare walks into a pub. The landlord shouts "get out! You're bard!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man goes to the dentist. As the dentist approaches with the drill the man puts his hand between the dentists trouser legs and cups his balls saying "we're not going to hurt each other, are we?!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man goes to the doctors for some test results. The doctor says "I have some really bad news. You have cancer and alzheimers". The man says "Thank goodness for that I thought I had cancer!"

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I, for one, like Roman numerals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was sweeping the floor when Jenson Button walked by. I took the handle off the broom and shoved it down his trouser leg and said "how's that for pole position!"

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

[Removed by poster at 20/12/16 13:48:30]

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I saw a lady yesterday, really angry because her feet were hurting...

Because...

Hell hath no fury like a womans corns...

That corny enough?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 20/12/16 13:48:30]"

Oh no you didn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I phoned in work sick today,and my boss said just how sick are you i said well im in bed with my sister........tumble

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I phoned in work sick today,and my boss said just how sick are you i said well im in bed with my sister........tumble"

This made me chuckle

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