FabSwingers.com forum: Messages & replies likes dislikes or how to?

By *trbee OP Man
over a year ago

London

Hey guys, question that may have been addressed many times in the forum but I couldn't find so thought to ask the ladies.

Ladies, I know you guys get swamped with messages the minute you sign up on the site as I've introduced a few friends here over the years & boy do the messages roll in.

However, you've been on here awhile, got used to the site & took your time to write your likes & dislikes on your profiles, sometimes even hiding cookies in you messages to out the people who are messaging took the time to read your profile or not & you may put additional request. We(I use this widely) follow the request send a nice polite message, attached a clean recent face photo, do not send cock photos and take the time to be very polite in our first correspondence to you only to see them get deleted. I have had a couple & I mean a couple polite not thanks or you're not my type responses but in general, nothing.

This has confused me a lot over the years I have been on here because I either just stop contacting anyone unless they wink or contact me first, but most times I disappear back into the real world way before my membership runs out & come back sometimes months later to do it all again.

Am I missing something in the etiquette of the site or is this just one of those things?

PB.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It's site etiquette sadly. If they aren't interested, a deleted message indicates that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the etiquette of the site unfortunately though I get the impression the majority of men would prefer a response even if it's a no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there are almost daily threads on this...it is far far easier to ignore/delete the message im afraid..i do reply to plenty of the politer ones, but i find it very easy to spot the ones likley to be rude back now..its unfortunate, but thats how it is,which is why the site advice states its not rude not to reply, just take it as a no interest

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By *trbee OP Man
over a year ago

London

Ah okay, but surely that defeats the purpose no? Meaning instead of taking the time to attempt to write something engaging, as a man you just resort to a generic greeting which also reading loads of profile seems the ladies don't like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah okay, but surely that defeats the purpose no? Meaning instead of taking the time to attempt to write something engaging, as a man you just resort to a generic greeting which also reading loads of profile seems the ladies don't like."

i don't really understand what you mean by 'defeats the purpose'?..a nice,chatty message is obviously much better than brief,generic one, but if the profile does not appeal for whatever reason,then there's not really anthing you can do about that..and yes, i can see it would good to always get a reply,but as has been said,the effort of then replying again to 'well what are you looking for?' etc,or dealing with downright abuse makes it more like hard work than fun sometimes..

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By *trbee OP Man
over a year ago

London

" i don't really understand what you mean by 'defeats the purpose'?..a nice,chatty message is obviously much better than brief,generic one, but if the profile does not appeal for whatever reason,then there's not really anthing you can do about that..and yes, i can see it would good to always get a reply,but as has been said,the effort of then replying again to 'well what are you looking for?' etc,or dealing with downright abuse makes it more like hard work than fun sometimes.."
I meant it defeats the purpose of reading the profiles & taking the time to write a nice message. I've never been abusive or rude to anyone on here and the people who've met me have confirmed this as I used to work at one of the events & also the line of work I do I can't afford to be rude as it can come back to haunt me, but I understand what you mean & essentially I'm saying the same as you, it feels like work, that's why i decided to come here to see if I was missing something. Funny enough it reminds me of anytime I move into a new area, i see people, walk into a shop etc I say good morning or hi with my strong Barbadian accent the first few times I get weird looks lol but after awhile people smile & say hi back, some even joke about how we met long after. I can't help it though & its weird when I see people enter a place without saying hi, or holing the door for a lady, or standing, lol I'm feeling old now smile

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Hey guys, question that may have been addressed many times in the forum but I couldn't find so thought to ask the ladies.

"Message" as a search term, fifth result, last post a day ago

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/576952

Tl;dr - people vary. You must too

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