FabSwingers.com forum: Premature exacerbation!!!

By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yes I know, it's not Thursday yet, but I need special dispensation!!!.......They have TOTALLY messed up my local Sainsbury's, everything has moved, there's never any hot chicken tikka left by the time I get there because what the hell workman wants 'made-in-front-of-you-Sushi' for lunch in suburban Surrey anyway?? "Come on Tarquin, lets sit in the van and share some Tamaki"?? I don't think so!!

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

'k?

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

Erm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"tender virgin ass"

Sure...

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"tender virgin ass

Sure...

Haha, true story!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have spare tikka in my fridge and I only buy smooth loo roll with puppies on it.

I also have a massage chair... sounds like you need to de-stress

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By *cotsguyyMan
over a year ago

Belfast and Fife

Poor FriskyMare.

Your massage chair sounds lovely, Dana.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have spare tikka in my fridge and I only buy smooth loo roll with puppies on it.

I also have a massage chair... sounds like you need to de-stress

Might get messy with the tikkia

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I have spare tikka in my fridge and I only buy smooth loo roll with puppies on it.

I also have a massage chair... sounds like you need to de-stress

I'm fine - I cooked my own tikka, bought Sainsbury's smooth loo roll, and even made a huge pan of lentil soup!!

I'm just trying to stir up trouble......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people care that much about loo roll? wow..

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I have spare tikka in my fridge and I only buy smooth loo roll with puppies on it.

I also have a massage chair... sounds like you need to de-stress

Might get messy with the tikkia"

Could end up all over me!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

If ya can't find any smooth Andrex, get some Izal instead

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"people care that much about loo roll? wow.."

It's a plot to reduce the amount of paper in a roll I'm sure - they never last as long now lol!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have spare tikka in my fridge and I only buy smooth loo roll with puppies on it.

I also have a massage chair... sounds like you need to de-stress

Fnar puppies

Cool

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"If ya can't find any smooth Andrex, get some Izal instead

Oh i remember that stuff.....

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Poor FriskyMare.

Sympathy at last - thank you!!

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I've always given a shit what I wipe my arse with but I think puppy's is going a bit far to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I know, it's not Thursday yet, but I need special dispensation!!!.......They have TOTALLY messed up my local Sainsbury's, everything has moved, there's never any hot chicken tikka left by the time I get there because what the hell workman wants 'made-in-front-of-you-Sushi' for lunch in suburban Surrey anyway?? "Come on Tarquin, lets sit in the van and share some Tamaki"?? I don't think so!!

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

#first world problems

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"people care that much about loo roll? wow.."

Err yeah,it has to be quilted for me! If there's no quilted then I go without!

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"people care that much about loo roll? wow..

Err yeah,it has to be quilted for me! If there's no quilted then I go without!

I've just looked on the packet - they nick at least 40 sheets to make yer rotten quilts lol!! I might defect to Velvet and get mine impregnated with almond milk instead!!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"people care that much about loo roll? wow..

Err yeah,it has to be quilted for me! If there's no quilted then I go without!

I've just looked on the packet - they nick at least 40 sheets to make yer rotten quilts lol!! I might defect to Velvet and get mine impregnated with almond milk instead!!

Tescos quilted own brand only for my bottom,I'm really classy

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"people care that much about loo roll? wow..

Err yeah,it has to be quilted for me! If there's no quilted then I go without!

I've just looked on the packet - they nick at least 40 sheets to make yer rotten quilts lol!! I might defect to Velvet and get mine impregnated with almond milk instead!!

Tescos quilted own brand only for my bottom,I'm really classy

Every little helps!!!

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Ooh I've got another reason to rant now - just had a package I sent out to a customer two weeks ago returned by the carrier all smashed to hell without so much as a by your leave!!! Grrrrrrrr!

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

#first world problems

Fat lot of help you are - pfffft!

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By *cotsguyyMan
over a year ago

Belfast and Fife

"Poor FriskyMare.

Sympathy at last - thank you!!

More than my pleasure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always given a shit what I wipe my arse with but I think puppy's is going a bit far to be honest"

I guess you are more of a pussy guy then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Hahaha your posts do crack me up

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Hahaha your posts do crack me up

I just saw your other xmas avatar, hahahaha!!

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I've always given a shit what I wipe my arse with but I think puppy's is going a bit far to be honest

I guess you are more of a pussy guy then

I think he just uses the curtains.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Hahaha your posts do crack me up

I just saw your other xmas avatar, hahahaha!!

Hahaha just playing the role to the max

like your new profile pic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Tarquin doesn't like Tamaki, he givesaid his to me.

Traquin prefers a wheatgrass smoothie

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Hahaha your posts do crack me up

I just saw your other xmas avatar, hahahaha!!

Hahaha just playing the role to the max

like your new profile pic"

Thanks - I'm touched how popular it seems to be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Helpful hints:

Make your own hot chicken tikka.

Bulk buy own brand toilet tissue and use nappy cream on your butt every night.

They move things about to make us walk around dumbfounded, hoping we spot something else on our travels, and spend more money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Hahaha your posts do crack me up

I just saw your other xmas avatar, hahahaha!!

Hahaha just playing the role to the max

like your new profile pic"

Are you Bad Santa?

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By *cotsguyyMan
over a year ago

Belfast and Fife

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Hahaha your posts do crack me up

I just saw your other xmas avatar, hahahaha!!

Hahaha just playing the role to the max

like your new profile pic

Are you Bad Santa?

I'm a really Bad Santa.......i've got an Easter Bunny outfit on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Hahaha your posts do crack me up

I just saw your other xmas avatar, hahahaha!!

Hahaha just playing the role to the max

like your new profile pic

Are you Bad Santa?

The baddest of them all lol

out of control

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Helpful hints:

Make your own hot chicken tikka.

Bulk buy own brand toilet tissue and use nappy cream on your butt every night.

They move things about to make us walk around dumbfounded, hoping we spot something else on our travels, and spend more money. "

But the one they do is so delicious to pick up on my way back from the stables, and oven baked chicken thigh is perfect for my lo-carb diet!

I'll stick to posh loo roll and forgo the creamy bum I think - though we horsey ladies always buy Sudocrem in bulk for the little ponies!

I'm happy for them to re-gig the store, even put in an Argos.....but a Sushi station?? Really??? This isn't bloody Shoreditch lol! I give it a month or two at the outside!

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Hahaha your posts do crack me up

I just saw your other xmas avatar, hahahaha!!

Hahaha just playing the role to the max

like your new profile pic

Are you Bad Santa?

I'm a really Bad Santa.......i've got an Easter Bunny outfit on.

Wayward.....

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

Tarquin doesn't like Tamaki, he givesaid his to me.

Traquin prefers a wheatgrass smoothie"

I suppose Peter Andre might like the Sushi - I see him in there sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If ya can't find any smooth Andrex, get some Izal instead

Sadist!

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And while I'm at it, who stole smooth Andrex tissue anyway?? Maybe my tender virgin ass does not want yer rotten quilty patterns!!

Yada yada yada......

#first world problems

Fat lot of help you are - pfffft!

I've got she butter loo roll if that helps.

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