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"People need to be as open as they are on here I'd much rather someone tell me they wanna fuck my brains out than try small talk and flirting ![]() It makes things simpler but perhaps loses some of the wooing. | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? I need a giant neon sign with a big arrow pointing at the person before I know. I recently found out that someone thought we were flirting with each other for 6 years and he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I thought we were just chatting. ![]() ![]() Probably a bit of both. I am not the sharpest knife in the rack on these things. | |||
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"Not a clue usually. I assume no one fancies me so I completely miss out unless told directly" This I understand. We'll need to enroll on a course or something. ![]() | |||
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"I can't unless they say. I tend to make it fairly obvious when I do but unless they go with a clear yes, I assume there's no interest on their part and they are politely entertaining my awful flirting." You've got time to hone this skill... I'm the old dog. | |||
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"I have a pretty good antenna, but try to avoid those situations as much as possible ![]() You avoid flirting or being flirted with? | |||
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"I have a pretty good antenna, but try to avoid those situations as much as possible ![]() Both, in real life. I get in too much trouble ![]() | |||
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"OP i'm the same a bit slow at times to suss it out, so take it as we're just chatty happy people and not got sex on the brain 24/7. ![]() Perhaps we ought to have more sex on the brain? | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? I need a giant neon sign with a big arrow pointing at the person before I know. I recently found out that someone thought we were flirting with each other for 6 years and he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I thought we were just chatting. ![]() Same here? I just never see it until they're sat on my face!! ![]() | |||
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"Not a clue usually. I assume no one fancies me so I completely miss out unless told directly This I understand. We'll need to enroll on a course or something. ![]() I can see that being excruciatingly cringeworthy ![]() | |||
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"6 years!?! What an anti climax lol. " Yep, no orgasms at all. ![]() | |||
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"Blatantly subtle. But more realistically I am probably terrible at noticing and terrible at making it known. Makes things interesting though. ![]() How do you get to interesting from that position? I would love to know. | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? I need a giant neon sign with a big arrow pointing at the person before I know. I recently found out that someone thought we were flirting with each other for 6 years and he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I thought we were just chatting. ![]() Same here .... I'm almost incapable of telling when someone finds me attractive. I usually think they're being 'polite', 'kind' or on a bet ![]() | |||
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"Not a clue usually. I assume no one fancies me so I completely miss out unless told directly This I understand. We'll need to enroll on a course or something. ![]() ![]() We practice on each other. | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? I need a giant neon sign with a big arrow pointing at the person before I know. I recently found out that someone thought we were flirting with each other for 6 years and he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I thought we were just chatting. ![]() ![]() If you can recognise it now do you think you can use that knowledge to recognise it when it comes to you again? | |||
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"It took me ages to tell the difference between being polite at 'that look' - it did come down to the confidence on my part too in realising they might like me back." There is a fine line to tread, I'm sure. | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? I need a giant neon sign with a big arrow pointing at the person before I know. I recently found out that someone thought we were flirting with each other for 6 years and he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I thought we were just chatting. ![]() you don't say whether it was on here or not.. as I think it becomes more obvious if you are at least in the same room as the other person but online you really haven't got a chance unless they actually tell you | |||
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"I always assume that flirting means nothing. Mr N assures me that I'm completely oblivious to men fancying me sometimes ![]() Does Mr N let you know when you should grab the opportunity? | |||
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"Absolutely no way on gods green earth if I had a gun to my head could I tell if someone fancied me or if they're sending me signals" We're a woeful lot... ![]() | |||
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"Not a clue usually. I assume no one fancies me so I completely miss out unless told directly This I understand. We'll need to enroll on a course or something. ![]() ![]() That sounds far less excruciating and far more interesting ![]() | |||
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"I can't unless they say. I tend to make it fairly obvious when I do but unless they go with a clear yes, I assume there's no interest on their part and they are politely entertaining my awful flirting. You've got time to hone this skill... I'm the old dog. " I'm not that young and you're not old. I think it's not so much to do with age and time you've had on this planet but an ability to read other people and all their nuances well without allowing your own self doubt and insecurities be projected on to the situation. Youngish and older both fail and succeed at it. | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? I need a giant neon sign with a big arrow pointing at the person before I know. I recently found out that someone thought we were flirting with each other for 6 years and he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I thought we were just chatting. ![]() Not on here. Someone I have known for over 20 years. The ship has sailed but the conversation got me thinking. | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? I need a giant neon sign with a big arrow pointing at the person before I know. I recently found out that someone thought we were flirting with each other for 6 years and he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I thought we were just chatting. ![]() ![]() Sadly not .... when in a potential situation like that, my lack of self confidence overrides all previously held logic. There's one voice telling me to be optimistic, but the other pessimistic one almost always wins out - unless the other party is unmistakably blatant. ![]() | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? I need a giant neon sign with a big arrow pointing at the person before I know. I recently found out that someone thought we were flirting with each other for 6 years and he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I thought we were just chatting. ![]() I think you can tell online too ![]() | |||
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"I can't unless they say. I tend to make it fairly obvious when I do but unless they go with a clear yes, I assume there's no interest on their part and they are politely entertaining my awful flirting. You've got time to hone this skill... I'm the old dog. I'm not that young and you're not old. I think it's not so much to do with age and time you've had on this planet but an ability to read other people and all their nuances well without allowing your own self doubt and insecurities be projected on to the situation. Youngish and older both fail and succeed at it." ![]() | |||
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"You have to really spell it out for me to realise it. Even then sometimes I'm just like nah it's banter and forget about it ![]() What if you assumed it wasn't just banter and gently tested it out? | |||
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"God, I could weep when I recall some of the lost 'opportunities' I only recognised literally years later ..... " Same here. It usually takes me 5+ years to realize someone was flirting with me ![]() | |||
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"I can't unless they say. I tend to make it fairly obvious when I do but unless they go with a clear yes, I assume there's no interest on their part and they are politely entertaining my awful flirting. You've got time to hone this skill... I'm the old dog. I'm not that young and you're not old. I think it's not so much to do with age and time you've had on this planet but an ability to read other people and all their nuances well without allowing your own self doubt and insecurities be projected on to the situation. Youngish and older both fail and succeed at it. ![]() Or your defences are just preventing you from opening up to it? | |||
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"With the above in mind then, how do you react if you're getting along with someone and they tell you they fancy you?" Decide whether you fancy them and act accordingly? | |||
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"Absolutely no way on gods green earth if I had a gun to my head could I tell if someone fancied me or if they're sending me signals We're a woeful lot... ![]() Just a tad ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I always assume that flirting means nothing. Mr N assures me that I'm completely oblivious to men fancying me sometimes ![]() Yep! ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"With the above in mind then, how do you react if you're getting along with someone and they tell you they fancy you? Decide whether you fancy them and act accordingly?" Logic might suggest such a course of action, but given that self-confidence,or rather lack thereof, seems to be a problem, how many understand what 'accordingly' might be? | |||
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" I 'read' people all the time for other situations, just never for me. I think my celibate years meant I lost the skill. Or your defences are just preventing you from opening up to it?" That too. | |||
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"I always assume that flirting means nothing. Mr N assures me that I'm completely oblivious to men fancying me sometimes ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I don't think I'm ever aware of that type of fancying except in a club. Even then they have to really be looking. | |||
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"With the above in mind then, how do you react if you're getting along with someone and they tell you they fancy you? Decide whether you fancy them and act accordingly? Logic might suggest such a course of action, but given that self-confidence,or rather lack thereof, seems to be a problem, how many understand what 'accordingly' might be?" Take it gently either way ![]() | |||
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"With the above in mind then, how do you react if you're getting along with someone and they tell you they fancy you? Decide whether you fancy them and act accordingly? Logic might suggest such a course of action, but given that self-confidence,or rather lack thereof, seems to be a problem, how many understand what 'accordingly' might be? Take it gently either way ![]() Keep it coming o YeOlde Sage. | |||
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"With the above in mind then, how do you react if you're getting along with someone and they tell you they fancy you? Decide whether you fancy them and act accordingly? Logic might suggest such a course of action, but given that self-confidence,or rather lack thereof, seems to be a problem, how many understand what 'accordingly' might be? Take it gently either way ![]() I like your style, Sir ![]() | |||
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"I always assume that flirting means nothing. Mr N assures me that I'm completely oblivious to men fancying me sometimes ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Do you assume that men wont fancy you so don't see the signs? | |||
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"I'll have a neon sign please! ![]() How's the head after all that Prosecco? A neon sign might be a bit much until tomorrow. | |||
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" I can tell in a social situation because a man's face changes when he's attracted to a woman. What I used to be oblivious to and still am to an extent is the stranger scenario. Mr N is a bit cheeky and if a guy is staring at me in the street he'll catch their eye and enjoy their embarrassment ![]() ![]() I suppose I do. There are usually many more fanciable women nearby. I seem to get the fancying once people know me... they fancy my brain then but I then don't realise that their liking of my brain now includes my body too. | |||
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" I can tell in a social situation because a man's face changes when he's attracted to a woman. What I used to be oblivious to and still am to an extent is the stranger scenario. Mr N is a bit cheeky and if a guy is staring at me in the street he'll catch their eye and enjoy their embarrassment ![]() ![]() Hmm I think you underestimate your fanciability. I'm an old bird and a bloke fell off his bike recently because he was staring at me so much. Mind you it might have been because he thought I shouldn't have been let out on my own ![]() | |||
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"My antennae are related to what I see, hear and feel. Changes in skin tone, pupil dilation, body language, breathing, rate of speech all sorts really, not just the content of what they say. On here it's in the way they interact and respond. Depth of conversation, type of compliment, interest in you, willingness to disclose....timing of actions. Also a bit of understanding of the games we play when reading more intimately helps." The Doctor has spoken. ![]() | |||
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"I'll have a neon sign please! ![]() Better now than it was this morning! ![]() ![]() | |||
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"My antennae are related to what I see, hear and feel. Changes in skin tone, pupil dilation, body language, breathing, rate of speech all sorts really, not just the content of what they say. On here it's in the way they interact and respond. Depth of conversation, type of compliment, interest in you, willingness to disclose....timing of actions. Also a bit of understanding of the games we play when reading more intimately helps. The Doctor has spoken. ![]() He's more like a wizard! | |||
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"My antennae are related to what I see, hear and feel. Changes in skin tone, pupil dilation, body language, breathing, rate of speech all sorts really, not just the content of what they say. On here it's in the way they interact and respond. Depth of conversation, type of compliment, interest in you, willingness to disclose....timing of actions. Also a bit of understanding of the games we play when reading more intimately helps. The Doctor has spoken. ![]() ;-) Most of it is unconscious but I do try to unpick it to see if I can understand it better ![]() | |||
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"My antennae are related to what I see, hear and feel. Changes in skin tone, pupil dilation, body language, breathing, rate of speech all sorts really, not just the content of what they say. On here it's in the way they interact and respond. Depth of conversation, type of compliment, interest in you, willingness to disclose....timing of actions. Also a bit of understanding of the games we play when reading more intimately helps. The Doctor has spoken. ![]() Pffft a charlatan purveyor of dodgy snake oil ![]() ![]() | |||
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"On here it's in the way they interact and respond. Depth of conversation, type of compliment, interest in you, willingness to disclose....timing of actions. Also a bit of understanding of the games we play when reading more intimately helps." I'm not quite sure if this inspired nonsense or inspiring that so much information can come from such minor things. A willingness to disclose what? And what games are played? | |||
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"My antennae are related to what I see, hear and feel. Changes in skin tone, pupil dilation, body language, breathing, rate of speech all sorts really, not just the content of what they say. On here it's in the way they interact and respond. Depth of conversation, type of compliment, interest in you, willingness to disclose....timing of actions. Also a bit of understanding of the games we play when reading more intimately helps. The Doctor has spoken. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? I need a giant neon sign with a big arrow pointing at the person before I know. I recently found out that someone thought we were flirting with each other for 6 years and he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I thought we were just chatting. ![]() Totally me too never have a clue lol | |||
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"On here it's in the way they interact and respond. Depth of conversation, type of compliment, interest in you, willingness to disclose....timing of actions. Also a bit of understanding of the games we play when reading more intimately helps. I'm not quite sure if this inspired nonsense or inspiring that so much information can come from such minor things. A willingness to disclose what? And what games are played? " As we develop rapport with someone our willingness to disclose our stories increases- as trust develops. The sharing of emotionally laden stories increases intimacy....... There are a number of subtle games we play with each other. As intimacy increases the games disappear and authentic conversation replaces it. One game is what I call push-pull. Draw the other person in deeper then pull away e.g., make prolonged eye contact, then pull away. Then when they think you're not looking, look again is one of the simplest forms. | |||
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"Dunno about neon signs, usually takes a whack around the head with a sledgehammer to make me realise anyone is in the slightest bit interested in me, and then a second whack on the other side of my head to make me accept they mean it and are not just having a laugh at my expense (that I usually laugh along with). A couple of recent "I Really Fancy You"/"Who's On Your Hotlist" threads (which I know aren't to be taken too seriously anyway) here have been both a revelation and a good example of just how oblivious I am when I've actually received messages from them and been surprised that people had even noticed me, and then sceptical as to how serious they are." Scepticism on here is healthy, but if you are genuinely interested in the other person, gently testing out how serious they are, is a good way to go.... | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you?" Yup. Easy game to play ![]() | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? Yup. Easy game to play ![]() I thought everyone did? | |||
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"Not a clue usually. I assume no one fancies me so I completely miss out unless told directly" yup im the same.. i just friend zone everyone. | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? Yup. Easy game to play ![]() Oh I dunno sometimes it's hard ![]() | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? Yup. Easy game to play ![]() Fancies me?! LOL Nah - some people develop a very quick aversion. N'er mind. | |||
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"Can you tell if someone fancies you? Yup. Easy game to play ![]() How are you doing? ![]() | |||
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"People need to be as open as they are on here I'd much rather someone tell me they wanna fuck my brains out than try small talk and flirting ![]() I'd love to fuck your brains out ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Dunno about neon signs, usually takes a whack around the head with a sledgehammer to make me realise anyone is in the slightest bit interested in me, and then a second whack on the other side of my head to make me accept they mean it and are not just having a laugh at my expense (that I usually laugh along with). A couple of recent "I Really Fancy You"/"Who's On Your Hotlist" threads (which I know aren't to be taken too seriously anyway) here have been both a revelation and a good example of just how oblivious I am when I've actually received messages from them and been surprised that people had even noticed me, and then sceptical as to how serious they are. Scepticism on here is healthy, but if you are genuinely interested in the other person, gently testing out how serious they are, is a good way to go...." Oh I know, and am getting better at it..it's just getting past the increduilty that they could actually be interested in what, in my opinion, is a frankly average, past it, 51 year old that I struggle with at times!! | |||
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"Dunno about neon signs, usually takes a whack around the head with a sledgehammer to make me realise anyone is in the slightest bit interested in me, and then a second whack on the other side of my head to make me accept they mean it and are not just having a laugh at my expense (that I usually laugh along with). A couple of recent "I Really Fancy You"/"Who's On Your Hotlist" threads (which I know aren't to be taken too seriously anyway) here have been both a revelation and a good example of just how oblivious I am when I've actually received messages from them and been surprised that people had even noticed me, and then sceptical as to how serious they are. Scepticism on here is healthy, but if you are genuinely interested in the other person, gently testing out how serious they are, is a good way to go.... Oh I know, and am getting better at it..it's just getting past the increduilty that they could actually be interested in what, in my opinion, is a frankly average, past it, 51 year old that I struggle with at times!! " Oh I dunno. I think I can guess what they might see in you ![]() | |||
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"Dunno about neon signs, usually takes a whack around the head with a sledgehammer to make me realise anyone is in the slightest bit interested in me, and then a second whack on the other side of my head to make me accept they mean it and are not just having a laugh at my expense (that I usually laugh along with). A couple of recent "I Really Fancy You"/"Who's On Your Hotlist" threads (which I know aren't to be taken too seriously anyway) here have been both a revelation and a good example of just how oblivious I am when I've actually received messages from them and been surprised that people had even noticed me, and then sceptical as to how serious they are. Scepticism on here is healthy, but if you are genuinely interested in the other person, gently testing out how serious they are, is a good way to go.... Oh I know, and am getting better at it..it's just getting past the increduilty that they could actually be interested in what, in my opinion, is a frankly average, past it, 51 year old that I struggle with at times!! Oh I dunno. I think I can guess what they might see in you ![]() You're way too kind...but I'm totally blind to it!! | |||
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