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gay parents

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

watching jezza (don't judge me i'm judging myself harshly for all of us trust me)

and there is a bit about lesbian parents a guy not wanting his kids brought up by lesbians

now this puts me in mind of a friend of mine who has just found out her daughter is a lesbian and is heartbroken and mortified, i have spent time with her trying to make her see it truely is not the end of the world and she should feel proud of the fact her daughter managed to open up and tell her, my friend amazed me by declairing she would rather she had kept it secret

she says in her words she wishes she was just "normal" and fears that she will never make her a grandma, when i commented that her sexuality does not render her infertile my friend recoiled and declaired she could thing of nothing worse than a child being raised by gay parents.

to say i was shocked is a huge understatement we have been friends for many years and i knew her _iews could be a bit dated on most things but this really put me on the back foot

i also have a friend who is 83 that has a gay son that came out to his parents in the 70s at a time where is was still, for want of a better phrase, not the done thing, yet her and her husband fully supported their son and never judged him, an incredibly enlightened couple for the time i think, now this is what makes it so hard for me to grasp how someone in this day and age can have such a closed mind to such things

now is it just me or are there really still people out there that are so against gay parents?

surely as long as the child is loved fed and safe it makes no odds what the gender of the parents are

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

as long as there is LOVE in the home, who cares.

good luck to all concerned.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

My _iew is that children are better off in a loving and supportive relationship of any type rather than being in care.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

ps I saw it as well, the only concern I had was the anger issues the mum had

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"ps I saw it as well, the only concern I had was the anger issues the mum had "

may i just say i only had it on waiting for this morning to start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So someone in the 1970s accepting a gay child is 'enlightened' but someone in the 21st Century who doesn't accept it is 'outdated'.

What about the personal feelings of the people involved? Some people are vehemently anti-gay/lesbian and some are not. It is a matter of how they feel about it and not that they hold outdated _iews. Some people would be aghast at some of the things swingers get up to - does that make them outdated too?

One thing to bear in mind here is that an heterosexual couple could get married and have children and then at some point down the line one of them could realise that they are in fact gay and terminate the marriage and enter into a gay relationship.

Does it make that person any less of a parent from when he/she was perceived to be straight?

I dislike labels at the best of times and to call someone 'outdated' because they don't hold the same _iew as someone else is as perfect an example of intolerance as homophobia is to gay people.

Should gay people have children?

There is nothing in nature to prevent it so it's nobody's business to say they should or should not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So someone in the 1970s accepting a gay child is 'enlightened' but someone in the 21st Century who doesn't accept it is 'outdated'.

What about the personal feelings of the people involved? Some people are vehemently anti-gay/lesbian and some are not. It is a matter of how they feel about it and not that they hold outdated _iews. Some people would be aghast at some of the things swingers get up to - does that make them outdated too?

One thing to bear in mind here is that an heterosexual couple could get married and have children and then at some point down the line one of them could realise that they are in fact gay and terminate the marriage and enter into a gay relationship.

Does it make that person any less of a parent from when he/she was perceived to be straight?

I dislike labels at the best of times and to call someone 'outdated' because they don't hold the same _iew as someone else is as perfect an example of intolerance as homophobia is to gay people.

Should gay people have children?

There is nothing in nature to prevent it so it's nobody's business to say they should or should not."

i feel duly chastised

bad bad bouncy

ty for enlightening me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work with two women who are both in a relationship together. They both have a child each to the same guy (sperm donor and turkey baster job). The two children have fantastic parents.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"ps I saw it as well, the only concern I had was the anger issues the mum had

may i just say i only had it on waiting for this morning to start "

yeah.. so you did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

i feel duly chastised

bad bad bouncy

ty for enlightening me "

oops - apologies. It wasn't meant to come across as a chastisement, that's just as bad as what we were discussing. Your _iews are yours and I respect that.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Give her a little bit of time. That's pretty much the reaction my mum would have if I told her about my sexuality. She's completely homophobic and the 'not normal' thing would be exactly how she'd see it. However, I'm pretty sure after a while she'd come round because I'm her daughter and she loves me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

i feel duly chastised

bad bad bouncy

ty for enlightening me

oops - apologies. It wasn't meant to come across as a chastisement, that's just as bad as what we were discussing. Your _iews are yours and I respect that. "

tis ok! i got that, was very tongue in cheek comment, its best that way ya can't work out what i'm saying then best all round

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall


"watching jezza (don't judge me i'm judging myself harshly for all of us trust me)

and there is a bit about lesbian parents a guy not wanting his kids brought up by lesbians

now this puts me in mind of a friend of mine who has just found out her daughter is a lesbian and is heartbroken and mortified, i have spent time with her trying to make her see it truely is not the end of the world and she should feel proud of the fact her daughter managed to open up and tell her, my friend amazed me by declairing she would rather she had kept it secret

she says in her words she wishes she was just "normal" and fears that she will never make her a grandma, when i commented that her sexuality does not render her infertile my friend recoiled and declaired she could thing of nothing worse than a child being raised by gay parents.

to say i was shocked is a huge understatement we have been friends for many years and i knew her _iews could be a bit dated on most things but this really put me on the back foot

i also have a friend who is 83 that has a gay son that came out to his parents in the 70s at a time where is was still, for want of a better phrase, not the done thing, yet her and her husband fully supported their son and never judged him, an incredibly enlightened couple for the time i think, now this is what makes it so hard for me to grasp how someone in this day and age can have such a closed mind to such things

now is it just me or are there really still people out there that are so against gay parents?

surely as long as the child is loved fed and safe it makes no odds what the gender of the parents are"

Im sure she will come around. She is likely moarning the future she thought her daughter had and struggling to accept that it might not be the one she had planned for her in her head. Good openminded friends around her can only help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work with two women who are both in a relationship together. They both have a child each to the same guy (sperm donor and turkey baster job). The two children have fantastic parents. "

You don't say if the man plays an active role in his children's lives or not? Is he an anonymous donor? Can you specify the same donor for successive 'donations'?

Sorry for the questions but I know little about this area of fertility.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

coming to terms with being Gay is tough enough but the conversation with your parent/parents/siblings/extended family.. still sends shivers down my spine 35 years later . I was petrified

I was surrounded by love then and still am.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Im sure she will come around. She is likely moarning the future she thought her daughter had and struggling to accept that it might not be the one she had planned for her in her head. Good openminded friends around her can only help. "

this is what i am hoping i don't try and force my opinion on her i just listen and comment as carefully as i can in the hope she will eventually come round

all ya can do i guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My niece came out recently and she was petrified how the family would react. She doesn't know I'm bisexual but I contacted her immediately and told her she was still the same lovely niece she's always been and always welcome at our house. She said it felt like a weight had been lifted from her, so I told her most of us had long suspected it anyway seeing as she'd never had a boyfriend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

now is it just me or are there really still people out there that are so against gay parents?

surely as long as the child is loved fed and safe it makes no odds what the gender of the parents are"

of course there are always those people who are set in their ways and those who just love to sit in judgement of others and always will be but your second statement is so true. So many children out there who have "offending or abusive" parents. If children are loved and cared for they will be fine.

nice post.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"coming to terms with being Gay is tough enough but the conversation with your parent/parents/siblings/extended family.. still sends shivers down my spine 35 years later . I was petrified

I was surrounded by love then and still am."

just as it should be fabulous hun

my friend commented that she could tell her daughter was struggling with something and was worried she was ill and now wishes it had of been that as she could of handled it better, a comment i just couldn't get my head round to be honest and never will

i'm struggling to understand i can't deny

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