FabSwingers.com forum: Replies

By *wingnewbie OP Man
over a year ago

Melbourne

Question for you guys and girls. If someone messaged you and you weren't interested, would you just delete and forget it or have the decency to reply and let them know?

I've had a few reply and say they're not interested, think it's very nice of them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't open the message. I get too many to contend with, and am mainly on the forums. I'm in the habit of only opening the ones to those I already chat with now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the time I delete. It's a waste of my time writing the reply and a waste of theirs reading it. Deleting is much more efficient. Nothing to do with decency.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

A thanks but no thanks from us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd prefer a reply but you have to accept that there are far too many cockwombles on here who send 'hi can I smash your back doors in luv' type messages and the best option for women is just to delete and move on - even for those messages that are a bit more thoughtful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to reply always but less so the longer I'm here really... messages which show that the writer hasn't even bothered to give my profile a quick read, they tend to get binned without a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as above,nothing to do with decency. The vast majority of messages i receive are from people who haven't bothered to read my profile,so no, i no longer feel obliged to reply. If the profile criteria are fine, but for whatever reason i am not really interested then yes, i usually reply. but even then i often get an poor response to that...discovered though,that i can now often prejudge from their profile if theyre likley to be an arse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question for you guys and girls. If someone messaged you and you weren't interested, would you just delete and forget it or have the decency to reply and let them know?

I've had a few reply and say they're not interested, think it's very nice of them!"

Your implication, OP, is that it is good manners to reply. I assume that you have read the FAQ and that you understand that manners do not come into it when an unsolicited message is received?

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By *wingnewbie OP Man
over a year ago

Melbourne

"I wouldn't open the message. I get too many to contend with, and am mainly on the forums. I'm in the habit of only opening the ones to those I already chat with now. "

Yeah I understand.. Guess it's a lot easier for me to say as I can only imagine the amount of messages women get a day here

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By *wingnewbie OP Man
over a year ago

Melbourne

"Question for you guys and girls. If someone messaged you and you weren't interested, would you just delete and forget it or have the decency to reply and let them know?

I've had a few reply and say they're not interested, think it's very nice of them!

Your implication, OP, is that it is good manners to reply. I assume that you have read the FAQ and that you understand that manners do not come into it when an unsolicited message is received?"

Well obviously it is good manners to reply. But I'm not giving out that people don't or anything, I was just curious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me it depends on how the message is written. Today I got a message from a couple that was simply "do you wanna pic the misses up and let her have it" - that got deleted without a reply, as I would expect anybody to do with such a blunt, poorly written message.

However, if someone has clearly read my profile and made an effort with the message, but they aren't my type, I'll say thanks but I don't think you're my type in a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I reply and sometimes not. It's a bit like cold calling , you don't have to talk to them, same with messages here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand no opening them, but then for the sender point of view you normally think they didn't see it (due to the amount people get on this site) and then resend the message a week later. Would be better if it was deleted so the sender can see that they aren't interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away. "
pretty much this. I can appreciate a well thought through message and will say send a polite message back. Otherwise they are not worth my time to respond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look at the profile photo / name & opening line which tells me all I need to know.

I generally delete without opening, on occasions I will reply with a no thank you.

I'm on Fabs to have fun not to do admin work..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I'm not inundated with messages I'll respond unless it's a blank profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd delete. I find a "sorry" reply patronising

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question for you guys and girls. If someone messaged you and you weren't interested, would you just delete and forget it or have the decency to reply and let them know?

I've had a few reply and say they're not interested, think it's very nice of them!"

never had a knock back lad

handsome as fook me

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By *-angel-XWoman
over a year ago

hell

I block or delete I never reply

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By *ouble_The_DelightCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

It depends on the message, if it is only a couple of words and no thought gone into it then we delete if the person has put a bit of thought into it even though they may not be for us we will reply saying " thank you for the message but you are not for us"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends how many messages I have at the time, sometimes I'll reply and others I won't, it's not about being rude, it's about the amount of time I have, remember as woman on here we get a lot of messages plus the fact that even if we do reply with a polite thanks but no thanks it opens up a conversation that we don't want and some guys don't take rejection very well, I've been called a whore a lot simply because I say no, just because we've been sent a message don't obligate us to reply

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

In he very rare times someone has mailed me, and clearly hasn't read my profile or it's a fancy a fuck with my wife message I tend to block straight away

The main people I speak with is either forum people, people that have said they are going to a club so I am talking to them or people I know from the club scene

It isn't often that I will message someone based on the adverts or meet today though innay have a look to see if someone catches my eye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand no opening them, but then for the sender point of view you normally think they didn't see it (due to the amount people get on this site) and then resend the message a week later. Would be better if it was deleted so the sender can see that they aren't interested"

It is irrlevant if they are read, not read or whatever...they could have been read, then marked as unread...if you are going to worry about it, just delete all sent mail...it is only relevant when you have a reply to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We tend to reply and say thanks but no thanks.

In a similar vein if we get that from someone else we create a note against their profile to not mail them again in the future.

Some simply don't keep up with their emails and it's worth mailing again otherwise but we'd prefer to not feel like we're hassling anyone not interested in us.

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always try to reply if we can even if it's a no

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/16 16:31:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/16 16:33:11]

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By *ercuryMan
over a year ago

Grantham

I'd like to see more use the filters available to screen out the people that just play the percentage game.

I have no issue with those that just delete but it would help if they maybe made a relevant note of this on their profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/16 16:33:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i will always reply its only polite to and doesn't take to long

chris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question for you guys and girls. If someone messaged you and you weren't interested, would you just delete and forget it or have the decency to reply and let them know?

I've had a few reply and say they're not interested, think it's very nice of them!

Your implication, OP, is that it is good manners to reply. I assume that you have read the FAQ and that you understand that manners do not come into it when an unsolicited message is received?

Well obviously it is good manners to reply. But I'm not giving out that people don't or anything, I was just curious"

Then we will have to disagree.

Someone messages us? Why do you think it is incumbent on us to reply?

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By *wingnewbie OP Man
over a year ago

Melbourne

"Question for you guys and girls. If someone messaged you and you weren't interested, would you just delete and forget it or have the decency to reply and let them know?

I've had a few reply and say they're not interested, think it's very nice of them!

Your implication, OP, is that it is good manners to reply. I assume that you have read the FAQ and that you understand that manners do not come into it when an unsolicited message is received?

Well obviously it is good manners to reply. But I'm not giving out that people don't or anything, I was just curious

Then we will have to disagree.

Someone messages us? Why do you think it is incumbent on us to reply?"

I'm not saying it is. And I understand it would be time consuming. I just started the thread to see what people do. And then gave my opinion that I think it's polite if someone replies to me either way. Never said I felt people should and understand people are not here to be polite and make friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question for you guys and girls. If someone messaged you and you weren't interested, would you just delete and forget it or have the decency to reply and let them know?

I've had a few reply and say they're not interested, think it's very nice of them!"

I'm lucky. I don't get too may that I can't manage to get time to open them all.

I will always reply, politely.

I would never just delete unread. Because that's the bit of Fab that I can't get my head around.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away.

exactly,decency deserves decency.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like to see more use the filters available to screen out the people that just play the percentage game.

I have no issue with those that just delete but it would help if they maybe made a relevant note of this on their profile. "

the 'relevant note' is perfectly clear for anyone to see on the site FAQS...

and what on earth is 'the percentage game'??

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

One young chap sent me a message of around four words, declaring he would make me pregnant.

I'm 56 next month, how do you think I should reply to that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One young chap sent me a message of around four words, declaring he would make me pregnant.

I'm 56 next month, how do you think I should reply to that?"

Haha.do it's only polite to reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One young chap sent me a message of around four words, declaring he would make me pregnant.

I'm 56 next month, how do you think I should reply to that?"

"Come and try!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One young chap sent me a message of around four words, declaring he would make me pregnant.

I'm 56 next month, how do you think I should reply to that?"

Good luck maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away.

exactly,decency deserves decency."

Sending someone a message is not decency.

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away. "

Exactly what I do x

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By *ogerNesszonesMan
over a year ago

Northern England

There used to be a "Deleted Unread" message shown - or am I imagining this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love it when a conversation builds, as the single guy you get asked for a face pic then you get blocked - just say thanks but no thanks, makes me feel pretty shitty when you get blocked after sending a face pic!!

I'm no brad Pitt or Beck's but I don't think I'm a minger!

Oh and if anyone fancies some fun in Leeds this week let me know lol

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I love it when a conversation builds, as the single guy you get asked for a face pic then you get blocked - just say thanks but no thanks, makes me feel pretty shitty when you get blocked after sending a face pic!!

I'm no brad Pitt or Beck's but I don't think I'm a minger!

Oh and if anyone fancies some fun in Leeds this week let me know lol "

Send a face picture with your first message then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/16 18:01:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/16 18:01:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply, mainly cause I very rarely get messages so not exactly inundated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always try to reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There used to be a "Deleted Unread" message shown - or am I imagining this?

"
you do know you can read a message, then mark it as unread?...so even if you think its not been read ,it might have been...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away.

exactly,decency deserves decency.

Sending someone a message is not decency."

Says you.A decent message from someone that has read our profile deserves a decent reply,in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away. "

^this

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By *ylonesqueMan
over a year ago

Near Aberystwyth

As long as the message I receive actually contains a coherent sentence, I'm happy to reply.

I'm always flattered that someone has taken the time to contact me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mayneb a bit old fashioned and appreciate a "thanks but no thanks"

But then again I'm not getting hundreds and hundreds of mails daily like I'm sure most women are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away.

exactly,decency deserves decency.

Sending someone a message is not decency.

Says you.A decent message from someone that has read our profile deserves a decent reply,in my opinion."

The argument that decency deserves decency falls apart when you believe that sending a message on a swinging site is "decent." It is not. It is an attempt to connect with a view to having sex.

If I find a message and profile interesting, then I will reply. It is not an act of decency. It is an act of exploration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to most, but I've said what i like and what I don't like and If someone messages and they don't fit the criteria then I will just delete!

But then you get the persist ones that keep messaging any way (block)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away.

exactly,decency deserves decency.

Sending someone a message is not decency.

Says you.A decent message from someone that has read our profile deserves a decent reply,in my opinion.

The argument that decency deserves decency falls apart when you believe that sending a message on a swinging site is "decent." It is not. It is an attempt to connect with a view to having sex.

If I find a message and profile interesting, then I will reply. It is not an act of decency. It is an act of exploration."

That's my view too. There is all this commenting on decency. But the reality is, it's just a polite way to attempt to get into your pants. Same outcome, different approach, they want sex. That's all.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

I tend to reply in the same manner as the original message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away.

exactly,decency deserves decency.

Sending someone a message is not decency.

Says you.A decent message from someone that has read our profile deserves a decent reply,in my opinion.

The argument that decency deserves decency falls apart when you believe that sending a message on a swinging site is "decent." It is not. It is an attempt to connect with a view to having sex.

If I find a message and profile interesting, then I will reply. It is not an act of decency. It is an act of exploration."

Again,says you.

You really need not concern yourself on how we answer our messages,though we will not totally dismiss your advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've read my profile, but aren't my type, I'll send a polite 'no thanks', if they clearly haven't i delete right away.

exactly,decency deserves decency.

Sending someone a message is not decency.

Says you.A decent message from someone that has read our profile deserves a decent reply,in my opinion.

The argument that decency deserves decency falls apart when you believe that sending a message on a swinging site is "decent." It is not. It is an attempt to connect with a view to having sex.

If I find a message and profile interesting, then I will reply. It is not an act of decency. It is an act of exploration.

Again,says you.

You really need not concern yourself on how we answer our messages,though we will not totally dismiss your advice."

Of course, says me. I am after all bloody me.

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By *ogerNesszonesMan
over a year ago

Northern England

"There used to be a "Deleted Unread" message shown - or am I imagining this?

you do know you can read a message, then mark it as unread?...so even if you think its not been read ,it might have been..."

Yes, I'm aware of this. X

I was just wondering if someone from the site happened to be reading this thread and they might give some thought about reinstating the "deleted unread" message. It gives out an unequivocal message to the respondent (well most individuals anyway) that the person they're approaching is NOT interested. Other than that, I suppose a tactical block always does the trick.

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