FabSwingers.com forum: The Bar is Open...

By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Ooohhh...a champagne cocktail please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

Can I just sit here, drink tea and grope some customers?

I'm happy to make my own tea, obviously!

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By *88eMan
over a year ago

Northumberland

Ill start with a beer thanks...bud if youve got it!!

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

cointreau and vimto for me please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can i get a rum with ice x

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Ooohhh...a champagne cocktail please

Classy! I like classy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A glass of prosecco please

Kinky

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

Can I just sit here, drink tea and grope some customers?

I'm happy to make my own tea, obviously!

Yeah! You go for it! Make yourself at home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sailor Jerrys rum n pls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ooohhh...a champagne cocktail please

Could we start on a couple of pornstar martini's?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"A glass of prosecco please

Kinky "

I'll have to open a new bottle....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my red wine but nothing too heavy tonight....do you have any tempranillo?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Ill start with a beer thanks...bud if youve got it!!"

I do. You can have it.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"cointreau and vimto for me please"

Hmmm is that called something special?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

I'll have a 'Cock on the Rocks!'

Basically a celebration drink of whatever OP wants...

Celebrating Fab and Bearded's precarious position

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By *ebsMCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Cube Libre without the lime please.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Can i get a rum with ice x"

Bloody ice...I forgot about ice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll take a mulled cider, please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cherry cider please

Its sweet,fruity and bubbly,just like me

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

I was hoping that you would help me behind the bar....I forgot I don't like people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

G&T please darling

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I'll have a 'Cock on the Rocks!'

Basically a celebration drink of whatever OP wants...

Celebrating Fab and Bearded's precarious position

Yeah? Well I'm having vodka, neat. I need to know about these celebrations?!

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

G&T please darling

Coming your way! Flash of cleavage with that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

I was hoping that you would help me behind the bar....I forgot I don't like people! "

I've been travelling for over 24 hours so I'm fucked. I'll spill all the drinks and fall asleep on the bar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can i get a rum with ice x

Bloody ice...I forgot about ice! "
That was lovely can i get another and one for yourself

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Cherry cider please

Its sweet,fruity and bubbly,just like me

Ooh I like fruity and bubbly! You can take advantage of our bogof this evening!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bottle of red please, with a straw

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"cointreau and vimto for me please

Hmmm is that called something special? "

Erm, I just made it up, maybe the vomit comet?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Can i get a rum with ice x

Bloody ice...I forgot about ice! That was lovely can i get another and one for yourself

You trying to get me d*unk?! Cos just a warning...it takes more than one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

G&T please darling

Coming your way! Flash of cleavage with that?

Well I don't come here for the lemon or lime slices

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"cointreau and vimto for me please

Hmmm is that called something special?

Erm, I just made it up, maybe the vomit comet?

Can you drink it in the bathroom over the toilet please. I don't do vomit. I can't even be sympathetic.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

G&T please darling

Coming your way! Flash of cleavage with that?

Well I don't come here for the lemon or lime slices

Thank goodness...cos I can't be arsed with all that shite.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"cointreau and vimto for me please

Hmmm is that called something special?

Erm, I just made it up, maybe the vomit comet?

Can you drink it in the bathroom over the toilet please. I don't do vomit. I can't even be sympathetic. "

Will you hold my hair for me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cherry cider please

Its sweet,fruity and bubbly,just like me

Ooh I like fruity and bubbly! You can take advantage of our bogof this evening!

Hope bar is stocked with straws,dont want to spoil my lippy...well not just yet

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Bottle of red please, with a straw

A full bottle?

Who am I to argue...or take advantage lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Large Irish whiskey with ice please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

G&T please darling

Coming your way! Flash of cleavage with that?

Well I don't come here for the lemon or lime slices

Thank goodness...cos I can't be arsed with all that shite. "

Straight to business, my kind of barlady

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Cherry cider please

Its sweet,fruity and bubbly,just like me

Ooh I like fruity and bubbly! You can take advantage of our bogof this evening!

Hope bar is stocked with straws,dont want to spoil my lippy...well not just yet

Straws I have! Help yourself. I know how important lippy is!

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Gin ... lime and lemonade please

.. you better go get some limes .... and lemonade ... oh and some ice

Sorry im being a little demanding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

that's my normal tipple...but only if its argentinian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bottle of red please, with a straw

A full bottle?

Who am I to argue...or take advantage lol

Oooo don't argue...I usually end up naked after a full bottle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

G&T please darling

Coming your way! Flash of cleavage with that?

Well I don't come here for the lemon or lime slices

Thank goodness...cos I can't be arsed with all that shite.

Straight to business, my kind of barlady

Some may say I don't give a monkeys..but yeah it's all business like!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

that's my normal tipple...but only if its argentinian

Mendoza

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its bad enough on here getting ignored by women but now I can't even get served at the bar!!!! Jesus tonight it's tough being a single male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Gin ... lime and lemonade please

.. you better go get some limes .... and lemonade ... oh and some ice

Sorry im being a little demanding

Haha really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I having excellent customer service skills this evening...

So what's yours?

I ain't got no lemons/ limes so don't ask!

Can I just sit here, drink tea and grope some customers?

I'm happy to make my own tea, obviously!

Yeah! You go for it! Make yourself at home.

Sweeeeeeet

Customers, beware!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cherry Brandy... Extra large please lovely.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A glass of prosecco please

Kinky

I'll have to open a new bottle...."

Please do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

American Cream Soda please pumpkin

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Cherry Brandy... Extra large please lovely. "

Ooh I'll need to dust that bottle...and put some pants on if I'm reaching up to that high shelf...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like? "

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cherry Brandy... Extra large please lovely.

Ooh I'll need to dust that bottle...and put some pants on if I'm reaching up to that high shelf..."

I'm sure the guys won't mind

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"American Cream Soda please pumpkin

I remember taking the bottle back to the shop and getting 10p for my effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

that's my normal tipple...but only if its argentinian

Mendoza

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

Oh!

No one said anything about ice cream!

I need staff!

Apply within

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"American Cream Soda please pumpkin

I remember taking the bottle back to the shop and getting 10p for my effort. "

We only got 5p up our way!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anybody wanna do a jager train x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

welcome back

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"A glass of prosecco please

Kinky

I'll have to open a new bottle....

Please do

Would you like me to refresh your glass? I have fresh strawberries now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

that's my normal tipple...but only if its argentinian

Mendoza

Happy to share - I've got a crate

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"American Cream Soda please pumpkin

I remember taking the bottle back to the shop and getting 10p for my effort.

We only got 5p up our way!!

Was that north of the border?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

Oh!

No one said anything about ice cream!

I need staff!

Apply within

Move over room for me behind the bar , pooch can wear his bow tie and deliver the drinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

welcome back

Hello and thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"American Cream Soda please pumpkin

I remember taking the bottle back to the shop and getting 10p for my effort.

We only got 5p up our way!!

Was that north of the border? "

Yep... it just meant we had to work harder scrounging!

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

Oh!

No one said anything about ice cream!

I need staff!

Apply within

Move over room for me behind the bar , pooch can wear his bow tie and deliver the drinks

Hang on! I ain't seen your CV yet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can i get a rum with ice x

Bloody ice...I forgot about ice! That was lovely can i get another and one for yourself

You trying to get me d*unk?! Cos just a warning...it takes more than one...

"
Noted. Can i get a refill please

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

I was hoping that you would help me behind the bar....I forgot I don't like people! "

Good thing we aren't 'people'

I'd like something sweet and fruity what would you recommend?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

Oh!

No one said anything about ice cream!

I need staff!

Apply within

Move over room for me behind the bar , pooch can wear his bow tie and deliver the drinks

Hang on! I ain't seen your CV yet! "

Hang on I will get typing but who could resist Pooch in a bow tie

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Jd and please may as well make it a double and keep email coming

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"American Cream Soda please pumpkin

I remember taking the bottle back to the shop and getting 10p for my effort.

We only got 5p up our way!!

Its the North/South divide

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Can i get a rum with ice x

Bloody ice...I forgot about ice! That was lovely can i get another and one for yourself

You trying to get me d*unk?! Cos just a warning...it takes more than one...

Noted. Can i get a refill please

I guess.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Jd and please may as well make it a double and keep email coming

Emails?! I ain't got time for no sexy talk!

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

Oh!

No one said anything about ice cream!

I need staff!

Apply within

Move over room for me behind the bar , pooch can wear his bow tie and deliver the drinks

Hang on! I ain't seen your CV yet!

Hang on I will get typing but who could resist Pooch in a bow tie

Depends!? Can he juggle too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Large JD please, 1lump and no mixer

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

I was hoping that you would help me behind the bar....I forgot I don't like people!

Good thing we aren't 'people'

I'd like something sweet and fruity what would you recommend? "

Sex on the beach! Its my speciality!

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By *urvyKattWoman
over a year ago

Dumfriesshire

Brecons Botanicals gin and fever tree tonic no ice and no slice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

Oh!

No one said anything about ice cream!

I need staff!

Apply within

Move over room for me behind the bar , pooch can wear his bow tie and deliver the drinks

Hang on! I ain't seen your CV yet!

Hang on I will get typing but who could resist Pooch in a bow tie

Depends!? Can he juggle too? "

He can't juggle but he can quote Shakespeare and work out Pi to seventy six decimal places

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Jd and please may as well make it a double and keep email coming

Emails?! I ain't got time for no sexy talk! "

Shakes head and walks off muttering how much he hates his phone

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Large JD please, 1lump and no mixer"

Lump?! This is a classy joint! No lumps here!

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Jd and please may as well make it a double and keep email coming

Emails?! I ain't got time for no sexy talk!

Shakes head and walks off muttering how much he hates his phone

Lol its a good job you're a regular...here have a double...on the house.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

Oh!

No one said anything about ice cream!

I need staff!

Apply within

Move over room for me behind the bar , pooch can wear his bow tie and deliver the drinks

Hang on! I ain't seen your CV yet!

Hang on I will get typing but who could resist Pooch in a bow tie

Depends!? Can he juggle too?

He can't juggle but he can quote Shakespeare and work out Pi to seventy six decimal places

He's hired! Cos who don't like pi?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

Oh!

No one said anything about ice cream!

I need staff!

Apply within

Move over room for me behind the bar , pooch can wear his bow tie and deliver the drinks

Hang on! I ain't seen your CV yet!

Hang on I will get typing but who could resist Pooch in a bow tie

Depends!? Can he juggle too?

He can't juggle but he can quote Shakespeare and work out Pi to seventy six decimal places

He's hired! Cos who don't like pi? "

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Brecons Botanicals gin and fever tree tonic no ice and no slice

Coming up! Would you notice if I gave you Gordon's?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Pint of nesquick pink milk please , work early in the morning

What about one of those straws which makes the milk all strawberry like?

Oh yes please and splendidly large a blob of vanilla ice cream please

Oh!

No one said anything about ice cream!

I need staff!

Apply within

Move over room for me behind the bar , pooch can wear his bow tie and deliver the drinks

Hang on! I ain't seen your CV yet!

Hang on I will get typing but who could resist Pooch in a bow tie

Depends!? Can he juggle too?

He can't juggle but he can quote Shakespeare and work out Pi to seventy six decimal places

He's hired! Cos who don't like pi?

I'm expecting a pic though... Of the bow tie

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Jd and please may as well make it a double and keep email coming

Emails?! I ain't got time for no sexy talk!

Shakes head and walks off muttering how much he hates his phone

Lol its a good job you're a regular...here have a double...on the house.

When you see the glass empty fill it sweetness. it's been 1 of them days so Here's my card and put 1 on there for yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aperol Spritz please - been addicted to them since my holiday in Italy this Summer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Brecons Botanicals gin and fever tree tonic no ice and no slice

Coming up! Would you notice if I gave you Gordon's? "

Wont Gordon be cross ?

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By *xx1Man
over a year ago

In the mood tonight. I'll have a pint if the black stuff when you're ready. Ta & keep the change x

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"In the mood tonight. I'll have a pint if the black stuff when you're ready. Ta & keep the change x "

It's took me 10 minutes to pour this...

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Brecons Botanicals gin and fever tree tonic no ice and no slice

Coming up! Would you notice if I gave you Gordon's?

Wont Gordon be cross ? "

Maybe!? I reckon I can melt his anger with just a smile

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Aperol Spritz please - been addicted to them since my holiday in Italy this Summer!"

Sounds sophisticated.

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

I was hoping that you would help me behind the bar....I forgot I don't like people!

Good thing we aren't 'people'

I'd like something sweet and fruity what would you recommend?

Sex on the beach! Its my speciality! "

I'll try some things once..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Brecons Botanicals gin and fever tree tonic no ice and no slice

Coming up! Would you notice if I gave you Gordon's?

Wont Gordon be cross ?

Maybe!? I reckon I can melt his anger with just a smile

Probably x

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Jd and please may as well make it a double and keep email coming

Emails?! I ain't got time for no sexy talk!

Shakes head and walks off muttering how much he hates his phone

Lol its a good job you're a regular...here have a double...on the house.

When you see the glass empty fill it sweetness. it's been 1 of them days so Here's my card and put 1 on there for yourself

I don't need your card. I'm a strong independent woman....fine I'm having a bottle of Prosecco.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Brecons Botanicals gin and fever tree tonic no ice and no slice

Coming up! Would you notice if I gave you Gordon's?

Wont Gordon be cross ?

Maybe!? I reckon I can melt his anger with just a smile

Probably x "

Probably?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

I was hoping that you would help me behind the bar....I forgot I don't like people!

Good thing we aren't 'people'

I'd like something sweet and fruity what would you recommend?

Sex on the beach! Its my speciality!

I'll try some things once.. "

Once is all you need!

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

In the mood for something hot. Get the kettle on please

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By *ong legs n LingeireWoman
over a year ago

it up to me neck. :-)

Any chance of a cuppa please? I'm off the alcohol tonight, early start in the morning.

Thanks. X

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By *urvyKattWoman
over a year ago

Dumfriesshire

"Brecons Botanicals gin and fever tree tonic no ice and no slice

Coming up! Would you notice if I gave you Gordon's? "

You're damn tooting I would Mrs!!

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Kettle is on!

And I am naive in all ways gin!

Mothers ruin I hear?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"In the mood for something hot. Get the kettle on please

Tea/ coffee/ hot chocolate?

I've only the instant kind!

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Any chance of a cuppa please? I'm off the alcohol tonight, early start in the morning.

Thanks. X"

No worries! Coming up!

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By *ong legs n LingeireWoman
over a year ago

it up to me neck. :-)

"Any chance of a cuppa please? I'm off the alcohol tonight, early start in the morning.

Thanks. X

No worries! Coming up!

Thank you. Most kind. Xx

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"In the mood for something hot. Get the kettle on please

Tea/ coffee/ hot chocolate?

I've only the instant kind! "

If you're instant then tea for me lovely. Black and sweet please xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Early start, sparkling water, ice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Southern comfort and please it's been a challenging day

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Oh! We are still open!

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

"Oh! We are still open!

JD and Coke for me and one for yourself

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Oh! We are still open!

JD and Coke for me and one for yourself

Full fat ? Cos that's all I got!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ermmm... Can I see your license please madam?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Ermmm... Can I see your license please madam? "

Can I see your credentials please before I show my licence. Need to know you're kosha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ermmm... Can I see your license please madam?

Can I see your credentials please before I show my licence. Need to know you're kosha

Sure, here you go.

*hands over his credentials*

Your license please, madam?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Ermmm... Can I see your license please madam?

Can I see your credentials please before I show my licence. Need to know you're kosha

Sure, here you go.

*hands over his credentials*

Your license please, madam?"

*tucks two crisp £50 notes into the trouser pocket of geezer asking for licence*

The * denotes that this is a true scenario.

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

"Oh! We are still open!

JD and Coke for me and one for yourself

Full fat ? Cos that's all I got! "

That's ok, I like to live dangerously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dissarano and with ice please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Large Highland Park please.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Oh! We are still open!

JD and Coke for me and one for yourself

Full fat ? Cos that's all I got!

That's ok, I like to live dangerously

Yeah? How dangerously? You free running over to mine then?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Large Highland Park please."

Have some complimentary space invaders!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm just going to sit in the corner with my bottle of Malbec

that's my normal tipple...but only if its argentinian

Mendoza

Happy to share - I've got a crate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders! "

I'm still waiting for my tempranillo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh! We are still open!

JD and Coke for me and one for yourself

is for wimps...

JD on the rocks is better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders! "

I must think too literally because don't understand.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

I'll have a quboon Plees

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

"Oh! We are still open!

JD and Coke for me and one for yourself

Full fat ? Cos that's all I got!

That's ok, I like to live dangerously

Yeah? How dangerously? You free running over to mine then? "

It doesn't look like you're that far, I'd give it a go

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders!

I'm still waiting for my tempranillo

Because I am saving the expensive bar snacks for that customer waiting on the tempranillo.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders!

I must think too literally because don't understand."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders!

I'm still waiting for my tempranillo

Pffft my Malbec not good enough.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Oh! We are still open!

JD and Coke for me and one for yourself

Full fat ? Cos that's all I got!

That's ok, I like to live dangerously

Yeah? How dangerously? You free running over to mine then?

It doesn't look like you're that far, I'd give it a go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders!

I'm still waiting for my tempranillo

Because I am saving the expensive bar snacks for that customer waiting on the tempranillo.

oohhhh great save!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders!

I'm still waiting for my tempranillo

Pffft my Malbec not good enough.

after the tempranillo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ermmm... Can I see your license please madam?

Can I see your credentials please before I show my licence. Need to know you're kosha

Sure, here you go.

*hands over his credentials*

Your license please, madam?

*tucks two crisp £50 notes into the trouser pocket of geezer asking for licence*

The * denotes that this is a true scenario.

You've still got your hand in my pocket.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders!

I'm still waiting for my tempranillo

Pffft my Malbec not good enough.

after the tempranillo

I'll open another bottle then but might not be able to keep my eyes open - jet lag kicking in

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Ermmm... Can I see your license please madam?

Can I see your credentials please before I show my licence. Need to know you're kosha

Sure, here you go.

*hands over his credentials*

Your license please, madam?

*tucks two crisp £50 notes into the trouser pocket of geezer asking for licence*

The * denotes that this is a true scenario.

You've still got your hand in my pocket.

I'ts been there for 10 minutes

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

Another JD and Coke over here please, and something to nibble on too if you don't mind!

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Another JD and Coke over here please, and something to nibble on too if you don't mind!"

Look! I've already got someone with credentials sniffing about without you advertising a 'lock in'

Coming up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders!

I must think too literally because don't understand.

Penny may have dropped, suppose you mean those crappy kids crisps?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders!

I must think too literally because don't understand.

Penny may have dropped, suppose you mean those crappy kids crisps?"

The beef ones are best. In my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large Highland Park please.

Have some complimentary space invaders!

I must think too literally because don't understand.

Penny may have dropped, suppose you mean those crappy kids crisps?

The beef ones are best. In my opinion

Each to their own.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Im still wateing for my drink lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vodka redbull and blowjob please

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

"Another JD and Coke over here please, and something to nibble on too if you don't mind!

Look! I've already got someone with credentials sniffing about without you advertising a 'lock in'

Coming up

It'll be our little secret then, and make it a double?

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Im still wateing for my drink lol"

Remind me?

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"Im still wateing for my drink lol

Remind me? "

Il have a quboon Plees

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Another JD and Coke over here please, and something to nibble on too if you don't mind!

Look! I've already got someone with credentials sniffing about without you advertising a 'lock in'

Coming up

It'll be our little secret then, and make it a double?"

A double? Are you sure?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im still wateing for my drink lol"

Not supprised, she's a crap barmaid.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Im still wateing for my drink lol

Remind me?

Il have a quboon Plees

Sure. On the house!

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Im still wateing for my drink lol

Not supprised, she's a crap barmaid."

You're barred!

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"Im still wateing for my drink lol

Remind me?

Il have a quboon Plees

Sure. On the house! "

Thanks a lot chears

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

"Another JD and Coke over here please, and something to nibble on too if you don't mind!

Look! I've already got someone with credentials sniffing about without you advertising a 'lock in'

Coming up

It'll be our little secret then, and make it a double?

A double? Are you sure? "

Absolutely, have another for yourself too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im still wateing for my drink lol

Not supprised, she's a crap barmaid.

You're barred! "

Dont worry, you've done me a favour.

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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Im still wateing for my drink lol

Not supprised, she's a crap barmaid.

You're barred!

Dont worry, you've done me a favour."

Right you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im still wateing for my drink lol

Not supprised, she's a crap barmaid.

You're barred!

Dont worry, you've done me a favour.

Right you are. "

Good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tea for me :-*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hot chocolate please- help me sleep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hot chocolate please- help me sleep "

and a goodnight kiss from my no 2 xxx

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

A dark and stormy over ice, por favor.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Oh wait ... ive changed my mind ... id like a glass of champagne if you have any .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can I still get a beer even though I'm totally shit faced and probably gonna fall sleep on this stool

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