FabSwingers.com forum: Have respect

By *osta611 OP Man
over a year ago

london

Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you mean why *don't* people reply?

My start in life was perfectly fine, thank you, but it's a massive waste of my time and theirs for me to spend ages sending replies to people I'm not interested in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How is "no thanks" any better than no reply?..

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Actually, it DOES have a cost - the cost of time and effort. It's easier to ignore and block and delete and if you read the sites FAQ you will see that on here, a non reply should be read as a 'no thank you' and isn't considered impolite.

What would you rather have - a message saying "no chance, small dick!" or some such reply or nothing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

I currently have 236 unread messages, do you fancy having my login details so you can log in and individual write "no thanks" to every message for me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because 'no thanks' is taken by some as the start of a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

Them not replying, IS a no thanks. Although I would prefer it if they just told us blokes though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

FAQ - no response = no thank you. How much more polite do you want?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of guys react badly and aggressively to a decline , I think we should all put ourselves in the woman's shoes now and again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you mean why *don't* people reply?

My start in life was perfectly fine, thank you, but it's a massive waste of my time and theirs for me to spend ages sending replies to people I'm not interested in."

Ah sorry I missed the "not". But yeah, my response is the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you familiarise yourself with the FAQ's, a non-reply constitutes a 'no thanks'

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

Very judgemental. Cage been rattled?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No thanks"

How do you feel now? Better or worse ?

It's still a rejection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of guys react badly and aggressively to a decline , I think we should all put ourselves in the woman's shoes now and again

That's not why I don't reply, I just think it's a waste of time.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Because 'no thanks' is taken by some as the start of a conversation."

I always read a 'no thanks' as a 'no thanks but I'm free next week with my bi friend and we would love to shag you Steve and would you like us shaved or au naturelle"?

It feeds my imagination.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"How is "no thanks" any better than no reply?..

Yes, I just don't get this. Who wants to log in, see they've got a bunch of messages and find they're all 'no thanks'? That'd be depressing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

female : no thank you

male : may u ask why ?

female : because I'm not interested

male ... blah blah waffle .. or well you're fat and ugly anyway

waste of time .

easier to just delete

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

I currently have 236 unread messages, do you fancy having my login details so you can log in and individual write "no thanks" to every message for me? "

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because 'no thanks' is taken by some as the start of a conversation."

This

I deleted a message unread the other day and then got another load of abuse of the guy. That's an example of no manners. The site clearly states no reply = no thank you

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"female : no thank you

male : may u ask why ?

female : because I'm not interested

male ... blah blah waffle .. or well you're fat and ugly anyway

waste of time .

easier to just delete "

Yup had this before!

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

Because if they sometimes use filters, replying to you cancels them.

We had ours dropped last week so that folk from the social could contact us, and Mrs ddc spent hours worrying about whether we shouldn't reply to all the other unsolicited mail. The fourth PM from the same person to her initial attempt at "thanks but no thanks" persuaded her of the wisdom of "no reply = no thanks".

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried the replying thing... it just opens up the lines of communication and abuse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because 'no thanks' is taken by some as the start of a conversation.

I always read a 'no thanks' as a 'no thanks but I'm free next week with my bi friend and we would love to shag you Steve and would you like us shaved or au naturelle"?

It feeds my imagination. "

I'm not the only one then?

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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago

gillingham

Then when you say 'no thanks' they come back with more messages like 'why not' then it goes on and on

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

Because if they sometimes use filters, replying to you cancels them.

Mr ddc"

I turn my filters on and off when I am meeting or not. I remove myself from searches regardless so even when my filters are off people still get a warning I am not looking to meet. I even say so on my profile. Twice. If people ignore all that and still message? Then maybe they should read the FAQ and see it from another perspective:

"It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"

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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago

gillingham

"female : no thank you

male : may u ask why ?

female : because I'm not interested

male ... blah blah waffle .. or well you're fat and ugly anyway

waste of time .

easier to just delete

Yup had this before!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep waste of time, also can then receive abuse or whining, and also if I choose in future to block messages from males (which I often do) those that I've previously responded to can still message me.

It's nothing to do with my rather average start in life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

I currently have 236 unread messages, do you fancy having my login details so you can log in and individual write "no thanks" to every message for me? "

Send me 236 no thanks then

No manners at all tut tut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What everyone else said.

It's not impolite, just take it for what it is - they aren't interested in going forward with the conversation.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Aretha Franklin - Respect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

So men sending a 'fancy a fuck message' because you are on a supposed sex site or because a female is on here, they should fuck everybody who sends a message is showing respect? And I don't have the right to compromise who I have sex with, which is the gist of a conversation I had last night respectful? I think you need to adjust your thinking!

Most messages I ignore as I can't be arsed with the shit that comes after the rejection message so I no longer bother, so suck it up buttercup!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather receive no reply. How is 'no thanks' any better? It's worse, if anything... If you've received no reply you could cling on to the hope that she just hasn't seen you message amongst the 100's in her inbox. If she's replied with a rejection, she's seen your message, looked at you and thought "Eugh, no thank you".

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By *iolet2000Woman
over a year ago

Ormskirk

Too right Ruby. And when you say not interested they want to try convince you.

Pests.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Respect where respect due the ladies on here get 1000s a week mostly. Why would they have to reply to every one. Quick question though before the trolls get here if you received that many a week would you say no thanks to every one you didn't wanna meet or bulk delete without reading

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Same reason as people think I want to see a picture of their fat belly and stumpy cock as an avatar every time they post- you wouldn't wave it round in Tesco's would you?

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

I currently have 236 unread messages, do you fancy having my login details so you can log in and individual write "no thanks" to every message for me? "

That's actually quite tempting. Do I have to say "no thanks" to them all, or can I wing it?

You'd have to promise to meet all the ones I vet as suitable though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Same reason as people think I want to see a picture of their fat belly and stumpy cock as an avatar every time they post- you wouldn't wave it round in Tesco's would you?

I did but got let off for lack of evidence

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I reply.

Then I copy and paste the message with the date into the private note on their profile so that the next time they message I remember what it said and what I said. Takes seconds and has come in mega handy given my dementia.

I don't get abuse but I have a technique to avoid it.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

It was a hit and run thread, the OP does not require our collective wisdom it seems

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"It was a hit and run thread, the OP does not require our collective wisdom it seems

It is almost Thursday.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"It was a hit and run thread, the OP does not require our collective wisdom it seems

It is almost Thursday.

Oh yeah, I never rant so I forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because 'no thanks' is taken by some as the start of a conversation."

This!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It was a hit and run thread, the OP does not require our collective wisdom it seems

It is almost Thursday.

Oh yeah, I never rant so I forget

It is hump day though and by the looks of things he has the hump

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aretha Franklin - Respect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0"

Sock it to me Sock it to me Sock it to me Sock it to me Sock it to me

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I reply.

I don't get abuse but I have a technique to avoid it.

Oooh! We messaged 8 months ago! I said "gizzashag" you said "no thank you but thank you for asking you are a polite man" and I replied with "nah gizzashag!" And you said 'no thank you' and I said 'why not? Why? Why?'

Not really but you see how it could go, OP? Look at the ladies point of view.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

i had a brilliant start in life thanks but dont reply to all my messages.

Personally i think those who throw their dollies out of their prams and who cant handle rejection well are the ones with the issue but i guess we willhave to agree to disagree, huh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aretha Franklin - Respect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

Sock it to me Sock it to me Sock it to me Sock it to me Sock it to me"

Just a little bit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because 'no thanks' is taken by some as the start of a conversation."

Yeah and that's exactly why some men want the 'no thanks', they see it as a foot in the door to persuade the woman who clearly isn't interested, that actually she is interested.

Incredibly creepy. There's something very sinister about men who don't understand 'no'. Makes you wonder how they react when they're told 'no' in a bar or whatever.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Oh it's true I had a simply dreadful start in life... born to hippy musicians in sarf east laaandaan i was often left to fend for myself. My grandma pretty much raised me and we often had no money for food.....

Entirely unrelated to why I don't reply however.

V x

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

All sorts of reasons why I don't reply ....

Sometimes, you know, *real* life gets in the way ... I'm not going to prioritise messages on here over my child needing me, a sick animal, work, hospital appointments or 1001 other important reasons.

I'm almost certainly not going to reply when the sender's profile has no pics, little or no text, or *nothing* but photos of his cock. He would have had to have sent one hell of an impressive mail to get round all that.

I won't reply if people clearly haven't read my profile and they, or their suggestions, are at odds with what I'm looking for. That's *them* being rude actually.

Other times, even decent messages drop off the page and are overlooked. I'm sorry for people who've made a genuine effort but I can't control how many messages I get other than closing my filters completely which I don't want to do at this moment.

I do *try* to reply to polite messages that aren't cut and paste jobs (women soon get a feel for those) but it isn't always possible.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

i had a brilliant start in life thanks but dont reply to all my messages.

Personally i think those who throw their dollies out of their prams and who cant handle rejection well are the ones with the issue but i guess we willhave to agree to disagree, huh."

It's called emotional intelligence and resilience - a lack of which can be seen in the forums on a daily basis.

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By *eaded_BazMan
over a year ago

Truro

I'm forever amazed and disappointed at the number of posts of this type and can pretty much predict every reply you'll get OP.

The common misconception that just because someone doesn't reply to a copy and paste type message it could be considered rude. If you are genuine about this lifestyle do some research, make some effort, be considerate and be understanding that it's a site for open broad minded folks not a guarantee of sex, for that check Craig's list.

It's more impolite to expect entitlement or you merit their time just because you want to bump uglies.

I'm always polite and considerate and I may be closer to shrek than clooney but I've spoken to and even met some lovely people on here who always equally polite.

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

It's not about respect. Moaning about not getting a reply could be disrespectful.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Replying to someone you have no intention of meeting means they can get around filters in the future, something I don't intend to happen.

As stated above and in the site FAQs, no reply = no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Replying to someone you have no intention of meeting means they can get around filters in the future, something I don't intend to happen.

As stated above and in the site FAQs, no reply = no!"

And a plus 1

I'm sick of being labelled impolite and disrespectful by those that think they are owed a reply.

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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago

secret town

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

If someone hasn't read my profile and they message me and I check their profile and don't fit my criteria, instant block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does someone sending me a message that I didn't ask for and don't want make me rude for not replying?

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By *eaded_BazMan
over a year ago

Truro

"Why does someone sending me a message that I didn't ask for and don't want make me rude for not replying? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always replied saying thanks but your not my type, then I'd get what is your type! It's easier just not to reply - just get the hint and move on x

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

It's a shame that these wankers dont take it as it is.

I do not often email as I'm fed up the non replies.

Every now and then I get a thanks but no thanks.

I do reply, but with a fair enough but thanks for replying back, message.

Just recently, I sent a message to an extremely attractive woman on here (you know who you are, as you have posted on this thread) actually saying I knew she was out of my league BUT had to say how yummy she was. I didnt expect a reply but was chuffed when I got a thank you reply, also wishing me a happy weekend.

I just wish I had more messages like that and am genuinely sorry you girls get wankstains being so rude (personally, if I het told no thanks, I dont ask why as I don't wana get told "your a minger, too short, small... Etc etc etc).

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

"Replying to someone you have no intention of meeting means they can get around filters in the future, something I don't intend to happen.

As stated above and in the site FAQs, no reply = no!

And a plus 1

I'm sick of being labelled impolite and disrespectful by those that think they are owed a reply. "

Ohhhhh, but they to so much efforrrrrt, finding your profile, the obligatory rub of their genitals, taking the time to write "fancy a fuck" and sending it. Not just to you, many others of course. Then there's the feverish wanking of the cock whilst waiting impatiently for the replies to roll in, there's only so much dribbling a chap can do you know. Surely they deserve a little something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Replying to someone you have no intention of meeting means they can get around filters in the future, something I don't intend to happen.

As stated above and in the site FAQs, no reply = no!

And a plus 1

I'm sick of being labelled impolite and disrespectful by those that think they are owed a reply.

Blisters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has your question been adequately answered now OP?

Is there anything else we can help you with today?

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

Its the internet sex meets fella normal rules of polite behavior don't apply you will learn this in time and your mind set will change sadly if you allow it to .

The site rule everyone quotes is a internet narcissist rule only usable online. Nowhere in life apart from online would ignoring a question be considered anything but non polite behavior .

It is what it is fella you have two choices you can stick to your guns and act exactly how you would act in the real world and not adopt internet rules that anywhere else would be viewed in a totally different light that's my approach or you can adopt the behavior of the internet and its little rules that really are wrong anywhere else but in the online sex meets world the choice is yours fella .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

Its the internet sex meets fella normal rules of polite behavior don't apply you will learn this in time and your mind set will change sadly if you allow it to .

The site rule everyone quotes is a internet narcissist rule only usable online. Nowhere in life apart from online would ignoring a question be considered anything but non polite behavior .

But in fairness in real life you wouldn't have 300 people flopping their dick out in front of you and asking 'you free now'? or 'fancy a fuck'?

In real life you might get one or two people approach you and try to strike up a civil conversation.

So the rules work both ways and it's why the narcissistic rule is there! Lots of people don't act online like they would in person!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because 'no thanks' is taken by some as the start of a conversation."

This! It usually then gets followed up with why? Then it of guys can become abusive! Plus my profile is very clear on what I'm looking for so they should know! If they bother to read it that is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

If someone hasn't read my profile and they message me and I check their profile and don't fit my criteria, instant block

Yeah too right

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

Its the internet sex meets fella normal rules of polite behavior don't apply you will learn this in time and your mind set will change sadly if you allow it to .

The site rule everyone quotes is a internet narcissist rule only usable online. Nowhere in life apart from online would ignoring a question be considered anything but non polite behavior .

But in fairness in real life you wouldn't have 300 people flopping their dick out in front of you and asking 'you free now'? or 'fancy a fuck'?

In real life you might get one or two people approach you and try to strike up a civil conversation.

So the rules work both ways and it's why the narcissistic rule is there! Lots of people don't act online like they would in person!"

I agree Dan but it goes both ways in the real world I would not be asked a question by a woman approaching me with her tits out or bending over like a baboon as she asks the question would I . The choice of behavior is up to the individual I choose to act exactly how I would in the flesh when dealing with people online . I block no one from contacting me even though I straight straight not fab straight I respond to all messages politely the answer to to many messages is to filter and do you own searching but as I'm sure your well awear Dan searching for yourself comes with the prospect of rejection something most would rather not do as it will bring them down to earth rather quickly with a bump .

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

Read through some of the threads and you'll see many women do reply with a "no thanks" to be met with "wouldn't touch you with someone else's anyway you fat cunt!"...and the like. There are also threads by men along the lines "some bitches are up their own arses turning down this God's gift!"

When visible my profile states I will not reply to anyone outwith my preferences...and I don't! Anyone who meets it but I don't find attractive etc always gets a reply.

Result? Seven happy years on Fab, no nasty responses.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"female : no thank you

male : may u ask why ?

female : because I'm not interested

male ... blah blah waffle .. or well you're fat and ugly anyway

waste of time .

easier to just delete "

There you go op, told you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

Its the internet sex meets fella normal rules of polite behavior don't apply you will learn this in time and your mind set will change sadly if you allow it to .

The site rule everyone quotes is a internet narcissist rule only usable online. Nowhere in life apart from online would ignoring a question be considered anything but non polite behavior .

But in fairness in real life you wouldn't have 300 people flopping their dick out in front of you and asking 'you free now'? or 'fancy a fuck'?

In real life you might get one or two people approach you and try to strike up a civil conversation.

So the rules work both ways and it's why the narcissistic rule is there! Lots of people don't act online like they would in person!

Nope. I frequently do my own messaging and I would always rather someone who is not interested just deletes it. As someone has already said above, who wants to log in to a load of messages saying "no thanks"?

I go with treat people as I'd like to be treated, and that's how I'd like to be treated.

People who don't know me or anything about me can decide I'm rude because of it if they want to. It's nothing to do with Internet versus real life either. I ignore unwanted advances in real life too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easily done ! So predictable haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

I agree.

But I accept that some people are ignorant

I also accept it's easier to delete as a way of saying a polite 'no thank you.'

*I then hope they accept that because I don't send a follow up, it's a way of me saying ' f..k you then!'

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I replied "not for me but happy fabbing" once.

Then I got. "Oh honey you must be a c*nt"

Sure. I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life ."

Read the site FAQ's. You'll get your answer there OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people just not reply with a no thanks , being polite cost nothing , can't have had a good start in life .

Read the site FAQ's. You'll get your answer there OP."

The sites Faqs should emphasis how a new user should get to grips on filters.

How a new user can cut down unwanted messages.

How a new user should not rely on the cold reply of 'ignore and delete'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply

Even to copy and paste messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always reply

Even to copy and paste messages

Do you copy and paste your reply?

*go on admit it you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try to, but I'll admit if someone just writes hi, do I reply hi back? Sometimes we do or other times delete, as they haven't exactly put lots of effort into the message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind if I don't get a reply off someone but I do tent to block the not cause I've spat the dummy out just so I don't forget and message them again their clearly not interested don't want to pester them also if I do get a reply saying no I always say thanks for the reply and wish them good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"female : no thank you

male : may u ask why ?

female : because I'm not interested

male ... blah blah waffle .. or well you're fat and ugly anyway

waste of time .

easier to just delete "

The amount of times I get these are unbelievable...it's not nice or called for...I don't reply to people I'm not interested in and I certainly don't reply to the hey wanna fuck....have some imagination lol

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