FabSwingers.com forum: My heart hurts...

By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I know this isn't the site but most of you are amazing at advice because I'm having real trouble with this heartbreak shit and it's killing me

I can honestly say he was the first bloke I've truely fallen in love with and it's a fucking killer!??

Could just use some words of wisdom to try and move on and heal

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

I had the same last week....not nice when the feelings get in the way......but that's what happens when you get to know somebody.....chin up it will pass make some time for yourself and you will find it again...I'm hoping I will soon

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By *ustMe06Woman
over a year ago

...the naughty spot.

It sucks...there's no way round it you'll have good days and bad but eventually less and less bad days. I promise it does get better. Keep busy, cry when you need to and keep your chin up. Xxx

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"I know this isn't the site but most of you are amazing at advice because I'm having real trouble with this heartbreak shit and it's killing me

I can honestly say he was the first bloke I've truely fallen in love with and it's a fucking killer!??

Could just use some words of wisdom to try and move on and heal "
You seem like a lovely woman , I wont tell you to get over it , it will take time but I hope you don't give up and find someone else to love xxx hugs

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I think for me the biggest hurdle to get over is the brutality of how it was ended and being told I was a nightmare and how he wasn't surprised no man wants me....it's just all a bit confusing

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By *weetandHungMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"I know this isn't the site but most of you are amazing at advice because I'm having real trouble with this heartbreak shit and it's killing me

I can honestly say he was the first bloke I've truely fallen in love with and it's a fucking killer!??

Your a lovely lady and time is a healer. It may hurt at the moment but you will recover from it and come back stronger. It will get easier and be with your friends

Could just use some words of wisdom to try and move on and heal "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taking a few wise words from a recent similar post you need time Miss CC. Time to find yourself and love yourself again (assuming your confidence may have taken a little but of a knock). Maybe find new ways to occupy your time and mind perhaps with a new hobby you've wanted to try for a while. Surround yourself with family, friends and positivity. Try not to ficus on the negatives too much but remember why the relationship ended at times when you miss the person.

Sending lots of hugs and kisses lovely xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know this isn't the site but most of you are amazing at advice because I'm having real trouble with this heartbreak shit and it's killing me

I can honestly say he was the first bloke I've truely fallen in love with and it's a fucking killer!??

Could just use some words of wisdom to try and move on and heal "

Unfortunately time is the greatest healer. finding fun things to do can take your mind of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doing what you are doing now is a good thing. Reaching out to people. I closed myself off after my last relationship and it damaged me quite badly.

Be open with your feelings. Deal with them as they come. Cry when you need to and try to find reasons to laugh and smile. Give it time. It does get better.

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By *yan19Man
over a year ago

NLC

It's a horrible feeling and that's human nature we end up falling in love the best advice is to keep your chin up and know every dark night has a bright day ahead hope you feel better soon

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Taking a few wise words from a recent similar post you need time Miss CC. Time to find yourself and love yourself again (assuming your confidence may have taken a little but of a knock). Maybe find new ways to occupy your time and mind perhaps with a new hobby you've wanted to try for a while. Surround yourself with family, friends and positivity. Try not to ficus on the negatives too much but remember why the relationship ended at times when you miss the person.

Sending lots of hugs and kisses lovely xx"

My confidence has taken a major battering just with what he did and said during the break up and then afterwards for 2 weeks and now 9 weeks on he is in a new relationship...just don't feel I'm good enough but that's my own issue I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think for me the biggest hurdle to get over is the brutality of how it was ended and being told I was a nightmare and how he wasn't surprised no man wants me....it's just all a bit confusing "

i don't know much about him but that's abuse. i can get why you'd be confused if you thought someone loved you and then they told you that.

he sounds a bit narcissitic or even sociopathic if he ended it like that.

my shittiest ex told me something similar, then when i got with my partner after him he told me i wasn't allowed to see anyone while i was bringing up his kids. guess who has been on their own the longest?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think for me the biggest hurdle to get over is the brutality of how it was ended and being told I was a nightmare and how he wasn't surprised no man wants me....it's just all a bit confusing "

thats just him trying to be hard and have the last word - its cruel and you both know its not how the feelings were - its his outward coping mechanism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doing what you are doing now is a good thing. Reaching out to people. I closed myself off after my last relationship and it damaged me quite badly.

Be open with your feelings. Deal with them as they come. Cry when you need to and try to find reasons to laugh and smile. Give it time. It does get better.

Completely agree with this.

You have to allow yourself to fall apart if that's what you need. Then you can pick yourself up and be stronger for it, but it does take time.

Do try to distract yourself. Avoid the reminiscing, avoid certain songs / places / movies that remind you.... and keep pushing forward.

We've all been there, you're not alone xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending lots of hugs and kisses lovely xx

Having gone through the same. I would say give it time. Im not sure there is a time frame for the hurt to end. Only surround yourself with things that make you happy. Yes it's hard to take and will hurt for a long time. But in time you'll find the point where you will move on and make your self happier and someone to make you feel special.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think for me the biggest hurdle to get over is the brutality of how it was ended and being told I was a nightmare and how he wasn't surprised no man wants me....it's just all a bit confusing "

Take no notice if he told you that he's not worth it you are better without him big hugs

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Doing what you are doing now is a good thing. Reaching out to people. I closed myself off after my last relationship and it damaged me quite badly.

Be open with your feelings. Deal with them as they come. Cry when you need to and try to find reasons to laugh and smile. Give it time. It does get better.

Hatter is very right x

You can inbox me if you need to vent - been there and happy to help if I can and if I can't I will just listen x

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"I know this isn't the site but most of you are amazing at advice because I'm having real trouble with this heartbreak shit and it's killing me

I can honestly say he was the first bloke I've truely fallen in love with and it's a fucking killer!??

Could just use some words of wisdom to try and move on and heal "

My advice would be to put your feeling in words write down how your feeling i find comfort in doing this as it allows me let it out instead of trying to hold it in .

Yes you may cry as you write it all down but the act allowed you to work though your emotions understand them where they are coming from .

It helps it does not make them go away it does not allow you to get over it quicker it just allows you to let it out every time it gets to the point of feeling to much .

Think safely valve .

Good luck op things get easier with time xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not that there's anything wrong with being on your own, just like he was talking shit and hasn't been able to find a long term partner for himself, short term ones yeah and he tried to get them to give me shit but they saw through him and his lies and dumped him pretty quick.

i think time does heal, but also looking at the relationship for what it was does too. that someone who loved you would never hurt you like that. my best ex has never done anything to me since we split up, never been nasty...we had a time when we couldn't speak to each other but never said or did anything to cause the other one pain. because when you love someone you also respect them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My confidence has taken a major battering just with what he did and said during the break up and then afterwards for 2 weeks and now 9 weeks on he is in a new relationship...just don't feel I'm good enough but that's my own issue I guess "

Sorry to hear that, no one should be able to make anyone else feel like that. You seem like a genuinely lovely lady and deserve much better than that. It takes time, it seems everything is still pretty raw at the moment. In time, I'm sure you'll be able to look back and see how much better off you are and your confidence will grow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my ex had me believe allsorts about myself - then he did one thing that made me see things differently and oy have i proved him wrong - he fired all those awful things at me for over 10 years - so yes you have to go through the feeling like you do right now but you will come through it - and i now say to myself you wallow for a while and then you have 2 choices - you sit in the corner and rock or you get on with life xxxxx harsh but true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have nothing to add to the fabulous responses you've already got other than to make sure that you take care of yourself.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"not that there's anything wrong with being on your own, just like he was talking shit and hasn't been able to find a long term partner for himself, short term ones yeah and he tried to get them to give me shit but they saw through him and his lies and dumped him pretty quick.

I get that he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex it's just all a bit fucking shit

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By *yan19Man
over a year ago

NLC

"I think for me the biggest hurdle to get over is the brutality of how it was ended and being told I was a nightmare and how he wasn't surprised no man wants me....it's just all a bit confusing "

You seem like a strong women and you have plenty of people around here male and female who would happy give you a shoulder to lean on just remember your a beautiful person by looks and by nature I hope you realise how much better off you will be and how much happier your life will be without him x

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Awww Miss CC what he said was a cuntish thing to say and in time you will realise that if he could say things like that to you he wouldn't be the right guy for you.

Keep talking to your friends, treat yourself occasionally, don't beat yourself up, don't look for a new relationship, love yourself and remember you are lovely

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

When my last relationship ended I was truly heartbroken. Even more so than when splitting up with my ex wife. I loved our life(vanilla) and had everything we wanted. I thought we were soul mates.

As others have said, time is a great healer. I found surrounding myself with friends really helped. I thought that I would never find love like that again if at all. However, I found Miss, through this site actually, and can honestly say I havent loved a woman more than her. Chin up darl, it hurts like hell but it makes you stronger and it gets better. Sorry for waffling. Jack.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awww Miss CC what he said was a cuntish thing to say and in time you will realise that if he could say things like that to you he wouldn't be the right guy for you.

Keep talking to your friends, treat yourself occasionally, don't beat yourself up, don't look for a new relationship, love yourself and remember you are lovely

This. He sounds like a prick to be honest, so I'd dismiss everything he's ever said and move on to the happier times ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get that he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex it's just all a bit fucking shit

that is shit. this definitely doesn't mean you are shit though, ok. what he did was the shit thing in all of this.

i'm not sure why he felt he could treat you like that but it is his issue. a decent, mature person wouldn't end anything like that and especially not with the slagging off he gave you as well. they'd know they're hurting you already and would try to end it in a way where you are hurt as little as possible. they would still care about you even if they didn't want to be with you.

took me about 10 months to stop hurting after my last ex, but it mostly took me a lot of looking into the stuff i didn't understand to know why i was hurting so much. old wounds were opened as well, which made the pain much harder to deal with as it was more than the relationship i was greiving.

i don't really have any advice, just don't like seeing you sad personally, and i hate when anyone blames themselves for being abused. he didn't need to end it that way at all. please don't hurt yourself any more by blaming yourself.

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By *sweetcherryxWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I get that he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex it's just all a bit fucking shit

So he said he loved you, had sex with you then dumped you and said some nasty shit to you? Sounds like he's a proper twat who needs to get his head out his ass. He used you to get what he wanted then made you feel bad, that is not acceptable! You should never feel bad about yourself no matter what anyone says to you, the only thing you should feel bad about is that you let him in your life and let him make you feel like that! You are in a sea of men wanting and lusting you, yes it's going to take time to build yourself back up again and yes you should put some walls up to protect you from the nob heads but it won't always be this way and you will fall in love again hopefully with someone that does deserve you because no matter what anyone says you are special because you are you and you are fabulous. So chin up Hun and forget about him as he's someone else's waste of space now xx

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Aww hugs (((xxx)))

You are grieving, just like if someone had passed away. Like everyone else has already said it takes time. We all handle things differently, it's OK to feel hurt and angry. It will get easier eventually.

Don't get mad with yourself for feeling this way, be kind to yourself.

Xxx

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex

Double cunty xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bitter ending is better than an endless bitterness...

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

There is only 1 cure you need a night out with your big brother blade a large bottle of jd and by morning the world we will have put straight. Stay strong little sis and when you need to lean on my broad shoulder. Ring me later if you like hugs xx

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Time is the greatest of healers - the crassest of clichés"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would a cheer up Miss cc thread or social go amiss I think we should by a load of drink go to a club and do our best to help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No point trying to one up anyone's advice as it's all been epically brilliant. So there's always a welcoming hug, a bottle of JD or Vodka, and a pizza here at Casa De Naughty.

Chin up lovely, he's been a cunty bollocks cockwomble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was going to offer the plenty more fish in the sea and you got to move on advice- but as we are on a swing site and your actively looking your already there.Maybe you should talk it out with friends and give men a rest for a while while you find yourself .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Was going to offer the plenty more fish in the sea and you got to move on advice- but as we are on a swing site and your actively looking your already there.Maybe you should talk it out with friends and give men a rest for a while while you find yourself ."

She isn't looking.

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I have given men a rest I don't think jumping from relationship to relationship is fair on the innocent party...I'm not him I can't just move on to the next one he has never been single...

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"No point trying to one up anyone's advice as it's all been epically brilliant. So there's always a welcoming hug, a bottle of JD or Vodka, and a pizza here at Casa De Naughty.

Chin up lovely, he's been a cunty bollocks cockwomble. "

Thank you so much lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww I am sending just the most massive hug xx

Just take some time for you ans do things that make you happy.

Your good friends are always here to listen and send hugs and smiles xx

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I have some amazing friends but I can't help but feel like I'm doing their head in...it's been so long since that horrible night he has just done a complete number on me and has walked away with not a care in the world...I saw him 3 weeks ago in the club...I'm glad I made a complete effort with hair and make up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get that he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex it's just all a bit fucking shit

Good men make your fanny wet not your eyes!

Time is the only thing that makes the pain stop. I'm assuming (because he has a new gf) you've gone past the hope stage where you're hoping for a possible reconciliation. Inward blame where you think if it's something you did, going over all the statements he said, you were a nightmare, no guy will put up with it or whatever he said, it's frustrating because he isn't there to back it up and explain himself. There's nothing more frustrating than that, call me a cunt but why what are the reasons? Whatever this dude thinks you did to qualify as being a nightmare the guy that's right for you would find it endearing. Feeling foolish because you put your trust and feelings in someone else's hands, future hopes and plans have disappeared along with the guy. Just have to accept it, accept that you two simply weren't meant to be. Don't search for guys during this time as they'll just annoy you, messages off other men will just piss you off cos they're not from him. Just come on here, chat shit, get Xmas done and look to the new year.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I get that he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex it's just all a bit fucking shit

Good men make your fanny wet not your eyes!

I guess yeah with the other woman...I'm beating myself up thinking they are going to live happily ever after and why was I only good enough to be used and she gets all the nice stuff...my head is in bits

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By *weetandHungMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Sending lots of hugs and kisses lovely xx

Dont be hard on yourself. Just remember the reasons why he got with you in the 1st place and thats because your a lovely lady.

He is trying to make you jealous love ignore him and move on there is someout out for everyone. I learnt the hard way and feel your pain. Im here if you need me xx

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I have no amazing words of wisdom.

But I'm sending you proper-big Lisa hugs & kisses xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear lovely Miss Cheeky I can't add anything but send you a big hug and a hanky for your tears sweet lady

Cry, rant, grieve and all you need to do and as Fags says let's look forward to 2017

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have some amazing friends but I can't help but feel like I'm doing their head in...it's been so long since that horrible night he has just done a complete number on me and has walked away with not a care in the world...I saw him 3 weeks ago in the club...I'm glad I made a complete effort with hair and make up "

I'm sure if you were doing their heads in they would tell you. The fact they haven't shows how well thought of you actually are. And this thread proves it you are a wonderful chirpy lass and in the end it is his loss. I am very sure there will be someone out there who will treat you so much better than the dickhead who broke your heart ever will. Keep your chin up keep doing what you do. Going out well presented never letting your standards slip. most of all stay happy

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Chin up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going through the same hunni, it's been three weeks and some days are harder than others, just take it a day at a time, an hour at a time, breathe and remember you're an amazing woman and will come out of this stronger, if you want to pm and talk I'm here and I'm sure most on this thread will offer the same, you're not alone, sending huge hugs xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs to you and if you want a girlie chat then I'm here for you.

I guess in a perfect world, you could fuck people without giving them a little piece of your heart; I've certainly given a little of mine to someone but he doesn't know and yes, it flipping hurts.

Time is definitely a great healer xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right when I was with my kids father (9 years) he was always late to pick me up and one time he said something that stuck in my mind since 2003 when he first said it he said do you think if I wanted to see you I would be late?! Reason I taught myself to drive was so I could drive up his house. Truth was he was late for everything, work, meeting friends, even on a Sunday when ikea used to close at 4 and HE wanted to go there not me, he'd be plucking his eyebrows in the mirror, putting moisturiser on and I'd be like c'mon you dick it's gonna close soon, it wasn't even me that wanted to go there but he thinks the world revolves around him. He used to message girls and I'd find pictures of boobs on his phone, sometimes he'd say oh I don't wanna see you this weekend let's just see each other next week, I'd nag his ass for years to be a better person and when he got his now gf (not long after we split) I was thinking like fuck is she gonna trap the rewards of 9 years of me nagging him and pleading and crying and all the hurt and upset for him not to do things that hurt. But he's exactly the same person now, he's still with his gf and the over the years she's messaged me on Facebook and rang me in tears because of what he's like, she's having the exact same arguments that I used to have with him.

He was a dick to you with the stuff he said, he'll be a dick to this other bird too so have comfort in that.

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By *ainbowBrite57Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Just sending love, hugs and chocolate. Some good advice in here. Of course it hurts but you're not alone and it will feel better in time.

You're one amazing lady who deserves only the very best.

I know no words will help but try and feel the love in here for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only advice I have is keep your friends close. Let them help you take your mind off it. Friends are the best source of comfort and reassurance that I have ever found.

I can lend you a couple of my bitches for the night if you get your tush to Blackpool.

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By *st 1972Man
over a year ago

Kingswinford

I get that he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex it's just all a bit fucking shit

It may sound corny but the best medicine is laughter, I've seen a lot of your posts and you have a great sense of humour, in a little time you will be fine and don't let him kick you while you are down you don't have to listen to that shit!!

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

He was a dick to you with the stuff he said, he'll be a dick to this other bird too so have comfort in that. "

Thank you so much, you do speak sense and I know I've been a bit of a dick towards you at times on here but thank you so much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1) make plans to go away for a weekend with friends

2) give yourself 20 mins a day to be upset about it then don't think about it again or brush it off when you do

3) from reading the thread you seem lovely, take it that you weren't his type but you are other peoples type

4) spend the next 3 weeks complimenting your own qualities every hour

5) don't check up on him and his missus

6) keep active

You'll be OK in a month if you do all this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went through it quite badly in 2014 and the bad news is, there isn't really anything you can do other than ride it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Good men make your fanny wet not your eyes!

..."

I fucking LOVE you!!!

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"1) make plans to go away for a weekend with friends

2) give yourself 20 mins a day to be upset about it then don't think about it again or brush it off when you do

3) from reading the thread you seem lovely, take it that you weren't his type but you are other peoples type

4) spend the next 3 weeks complimenting your own qualities every hour

5) don't check up on him and his missus

6) keep active

You'll be OK in a month if you do all this "

I haven't he told me he was with someone vanilla when I saw him in the club 3 weeks ago...I kind of knew he would go there as he made a sweeping remark about her months and months and months ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1) make plans to go away for a weekend with friends

2) give yourself 20 mins a day to be upset about it then don't think about it again or brush it off when you do

3) from reading the thread you seem lovely, take it that you weren't his type but you are other peoples type

4) spend the next 3 weeks complimenting your own qualities every hour

5) don't check up on him and his missus

6) keep active

You'll be OK in a month if you do all this

I haven't he told me he was with someone vanilla when I saw him in the club 3 weeks ago...I kind of knew he would go there as he made a sweeping remark about her months and months and months ago "

I know its a cliche but he doesn't sound like he's worth your tears, you'll end up with a prince, sounds like he likes to put people down cos he is secretly insecure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think for me the biggest hurdle to get over is the brutality of how it was ended and being told I was a nightmare and how he wasn't surprised no man wants me....it's just all a bit confusing "

Well, he sounds like a giant bellend.

A couple of years ago, I was brutally dumped by a woman I thought I was in love with. I was pretty broken up at the time. Looking back, she was just a dickhead with a good body that I liked having sex with, and about as far from the right kind of woman as I could have picked. I'm much happier now and so glad it ended - even if she did do it in a super-shitty way (after rinsing me for all she could grab). Seeing them as the flawed arseholes they are is the first step to getting over them. Get him off his pedestal!

Get out with your friends. See your family. Throw yourself into your hobbies. Forget men until you're ready. You'll know when it's time.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I think for me the biggest hurdle to get over is the brutality of how it was ended and being told I was a nightmare and how he wasn't surprised no man wants me....it's just all a bit confusing

Well, he sounds like a giant bellend.

Get out with your friends. See your family. Throw yourself into your hobbies. Forget men until you're ready. You'll know when it's time."

Can I peeve your bottom?

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

We've all been there and some of us are going through it now. There's plenty of good advice been written here, but remember next time you're down here let me know and we can have a night out and bore each other silly, have a cry and get hammered xx

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"We've all been there and some of us are going through it now. There's plenty of good advice been written here, but remember next time you're down here let me know and we can have a night out and bore each other silly, have a cry and get hammered xx"

I will for sure xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I peeve your bottom?

Of course you can! Fill yer boots!

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

I will for sure xx

I'll hold you to that - sending hugs xx

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Can I peeve your bottom?

Of course you can! Fill yer boots!

Cheers it's a mighty fine arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He was a dick to you with the stuff he said, he'll be a dick to this other bird too so have comfort in that.

Thank you so much, you do speak sense and I know I've been a bit of a dick towards you at times on here but thank you so much "

Aww you haven't been that bad, I still like you anyway!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No advice, I've never been in that situation. But just stopping by to say he sounds like a right cock, and I hope you feel a lot better soon.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"No advice, I've never been in that situation. But just stopping by to say he sounds like a right cock, and I hope you feel a lot better soon. "

Cheers Ruby

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Just move on, it's like any loss of someone you love.. It hurts like fuck..

Don't hang on to hate, that will only fester and make you bitter and resentful and although it doesn't feel like it today, or probably next week for that matter, there will be somebody that you will meet who will sweep you off your feet and give you that feeling once again..

Psx

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think for me the biggest hurdle to get over is the brutality of how it was ended and being told I was a nightmare and how he wasn't surprised no man wants me....it's just all a bit confusing

Well, he sounds like a giant bellend.

That avatar pic is rather distracting. .......but yes, I agree, CC fell in love with the man he pretended to be, an illusion designed to deceive, and no loss by the sound of things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheers it's a mighty fine arse

Very glad you approve. Get yourself back on your feet and I might invite you to dig your nails into it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He sounds like a total dick and in time you'll realize you are better off without him. Remain positive and spend time with proper friends, hopefully in a few months it'll seem trivial

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Cheers it's a mighty fine arse

Very glad you approve. Get yourself back on your feet and I might invite you to dig your nails into it...

Haha now that would be a pleasure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haha now that would be a pleasure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make yourself a big cozy blanket fort. Watch some chick flicks. Stuff your face with donimos n chocolate n sob your heart out.

Tomorrow pull up your big girls pants n wiggle that sexy arse just like I know you can. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get that he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex it's just all a bit fucking shit

I think this last paragraph sums it up. What decent human being treats another in this manner, he is a complete fuckwitt, a nasty person.

I guess part of your hurt is from disbelief that someone who was supposed to care for you behaved in such a way to you. You think that because you would not have done the same to him, we judge it according to how we conduct ourselves and how we treat others. Well his thinking is not as yours obviously and his speaking badly about you is his way of justifying ( in his warped head ) his bad treatment towards you. The issues are with him, not you and whilst it hurts, you will at some point see this for what it is and him for what he is, someone who does not deserve you and is not worthy of you.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Haha now that would be a pleasure

My flirting skills are still here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending lots of hugs and kisses lovely xx

The thing I try to remember is that part of living is loving and occasionally getting hurt. If we avoid the chance of being hurt, we avoid living. Do what it takes to get yourself through this bad time, take care of yourself, be kind and think that someone better for you is round the next corner. Hugs x

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Do you want get Tony Soprano to sort him out?

Just kidding, I feel for you, same happens to me as a man, she had sex with me the night then In morning she said its over, we met on here and been seeing each other for 2 years and gradually got me off this site not to meet anybody else, whilst she sneakly met others behind my back, she made me believe she loved me & gave my confidence back after I broke up from my marriage but then took it away.

So hang in there, there will be better days to come ahead x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know this isn't the site but most of you are amazing at advice because I'm having real trouble with this heartbreak shit and it's killing me

I can honestly say he was the first bloke I've truely fallen in love with and it's a fucking killer!??

Could just use some words of wisdom to try and move on and heal "

You won't move on until you feel ready, and you know what? There is nothing wrong with crying, over-thinking, and analysing every single bit of the relationship. It's natural and is part of the healing process.

You need something to take your mind off him though, think of him for a little bit, have a sniffle and then think of other stuff. Why not write a list of things you want to do, places you want to go, anything to give you something to look forward to.

He was in your past, you have a future of new adventures to look forward to

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Do you want get Tony Soprano to sort him out?

So hang in there, there will be better days to come ahead x

Sorry to hear about what she did, it's a shitty thing to happen Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my past and my marriage break up what I learned about all the mud slinging that came from my ex most importantly is that it's just one persons opinion and as you seem to we'll liked here by people ide say your ex's opinion is definitely wrong...

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"Do you want get Tony Soprano to sort him out?

So hang in there, there will be better days to come ahead x

Sorry to hear about what she did, it's a shitty thing to happen Xx "
I know but you will soon forget them and have better days ahead in time, not easy but it does x

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Get d*unk!

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Get d*unk!

I have no alcohol

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Get d*unk!

I have no alcohol

Someone must have d*unk it all!

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By *iolet2000Woman
over a year ago

Ormskirk

There would be something wrong with you if you didnt fall in love sometimes. Thats what makes you human.

Sometimes you never get over it.

Spend time with people who make you laugh and that you can be honest with. Xxx

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Get d*unk!

I have no alcohol

Someone must have d*unk it all!

You

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Get d*unk!

I have no alcohol

Someone must have d*unk it all!

You

Lies!

Anyway, I came here to give you advice because I have been practising my empathy.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Get d*unk!

I have no alcohol

Someone must have d*unk it all!

You

Lies!

Anyway, I came here to give you advice because I have been practising my empathy. "

You have given me excellent advice

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Get d*unk!

I have no alcohol

Someone must have d*unk it all!

You

Lies!

Anyway, I came here to give you advice because I have been practising my empathy.

You have given me excellent advice

I did it telepathically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know this isn't the site but most of you are amazing at advice because I'm having real trouble with this heartbreak shit and it's killing me

I can honestly say he was the first bloke I've truely fallen in love with and it's a fucking killer!??

Could just use some words of wisdom to try and move on and heal "

What some sad movie's, cry alot, eat lots of Crap, get falling down d*unk, watch episodes of Simon's cat on YouTube.

Go to bed and sleep.

Tomorrow is a new day full of wonder and excitement.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I just want to say thank you for the posts and messages...my heart phyiscally hurts (fuck hope I'm not having a heart attack) but you lot have been amazing human beings so thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just want to say thank you for the posts and messages...my heart phyiscally hurts (fuck hope I'm not having a heart attack) but you lot have been amazing human beings so thank you

Always a pleasure, stay as happy as you can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you don't think I'm too outspoken and harsh but I think you should maybe take some time out from here for starters, because if you are heart broken do you really want to be on a sex site?

Maybe you would find it better to surround yourself with true friends who want to be with you and genuinely care for you and help you through this, rather than a website full of people who don't know you.

Time is the greatest healer, but while time passes, spend time doing things you enjoy with people who matter to you, and try to find something to smile about every day. X

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Hope you don't think I'm too outspoken and harsh but I think you should maybe take some time out from here for starters, because if you are heart broken do you really want to be on a sex site?

Time is the greatest healer, but while time passes, spend time doing things you enjoy with people who matter to you, and try to find something to smile about every day. X

Bless you thank you, I've actually met loads off the forums and are "real life" friends with quite a few on here..I'm not meeting on here but the forums lure me in...however I totally get where you are coming from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hope you don't think I'm too outspoken and harsh but I think you should maybe take some time out from here for starters, because if you are heart broken do you really want to be on a sex site?

Time is the greatest healer, but while time passes, spend time doing things you enjoy with people who matter to you, and try to find something to smile about every day. X

If she just uses the forums then being on here will help. Reading other people's problems no matter how trivial they are takes your mind off your own shit. She knows not to be messaging new people 1-2-1, she knows messages off other guys are gonna annoy her at the moment and she ain't meeting people so being on here for the forums is fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crikey, he sounds cruel. Im sorry you're in pain. There are people out there who are genuinely lovely and those who are not but pretend to be, because showing their true nature all the time would get them nowhere in life. I had an ex like this and he was incredibly charming, intelligent and funny and people easily got drawn in by him. It took a long time to get over him, even though he did awful things and behaved horrendously, and that was because I wasn't able to acknowledge that the beautiful man I fell in love with didn't exist. The manipulative cruel man who cheated and lied was who he really was, and once I stopped blaming myself for being inadequate and placed the blame where it belonged I started to heal.

Your ex is vile and will always be vile. Don't waste a minute being jealous of his current girlfriend because she'll be at the receiving end of his nastiness soon enough.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

[Removed by poster at 23/11/16 23:03:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haha to the person who said to hit the gym I have and since breaakup lost 2 dress sizes so hahahaha

Well done you

he didn't last long did he?

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Haha to the person who said to hit the gym I have and since breaakup lost 2 dress sizes so hahahaha

Well done you

he didn't last long did he?

I ain't that bothered by someone who can only see my shoes

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I feel like I should have tried harder to look out for you when I could, Miss CC... but I know you'll be back on the upslope sooner than you think.

insert meaningless platitude here...

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By *eaded_BazMan
over a year ago

Truro

"Haha to the person who said to hit the gym I have and since breaakup lost 2 dress sizes so hahahaha

His post and my response has gone but he messaged me.

I'm pleased you are finding something to take your mind of the heartbreak, there are few words that could ease your pain but know we have all been there, it will get better I promise x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haha to the person who said to hit the gym I have and since breaakup lost 2 dress sizes so hahahaha

Well done you

he didn't last long did he?

I ain't that bothered by someone who can only see my shoes

Good answer is all I'll say on that

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Haha to the person who said to hit the gym I have and since breaakup lost 2 dress sizes so hahahaha

His post and my response has gone but he messaged me.

I'm pleased you are finding something to take your mind of the heartbreak, there are few words that could ease your pain but know we have all been there, it will get better I promise x"

I hit the gym changed my make up and just tried my hardest to move on

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I feel like I should have tried harder to look out for you when I could, Miss CC... but I know you'll be back on the upslope sooner than you think.

insert meaningless platitude here...

Thanks angel xx

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

Dear OP, wrong place to mention this?...it is a swinging community, therefore friends are there...

Being called a nightmare!....we are all someones nightmare

and your ex, I am sure... is many a womans nightmare..,

Rant, rave and cry as much as you want but also get out for 'me' time as much as you can....look out for good things around you, you will see them

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Dear OP, wrong place to mention this?...it is a swinging community, therefore friends are there...

Being called a nightmare!....we are all someones nightmare

and your ex, I am sure... is many a womans nightmare..,

Rant, rave and cry as much as you want but also get out for 'me' time as much as you can....look out for good things around you, you will see them

Thanks

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex

That would make me get over him faster than normal. Keep thinking of this sentance you have written, he sounds like an arse, you deserve more

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By *eaded_BazMan
over a year ago

Truro

"he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex

That would make me get over him faster than normal. Keep thinking of this sentance you have written, he sounds like an arse, you deserve more"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Focus on something else.

Kids, if you have them. Friends. Work. Whatever.

It won't fix the hurt but it'll distract you from it.

Hugs xx

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Focus on something else.

Kids, if you have them. Friends. Work. Whatever.

It won't fix the hurt but it'll distract you from it.

Hugs xx"

I don't have kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know this isn't the site but most of you are amazing at advice because I'm having real trouble with this heartbreak shit and it's killing me

I can honestly say he was the first bloke I've truely fallen in love with and it's a fucking killer!??

Could just use some words of wisdom to try and move on and heal "

Oh sweetie, I cannot find words really, I can only say time is a healer and someday, sometime your heart won't hurt anymore, you will find someone that takes all that pain away and bring something new into your life, who knows when but you will know.

I'm always here for a chat xx

G x

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I've whatsapp'd you MissCC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no advice only only long, long, long distance hugs left x

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By *atie ShayTV/TS
over a year ago

"I think for me the biggest hurdle to get over is the brutality of how it was ended and being told I was a nightmare and how he wasn't surprised no man wants me....it's just all a bit confusing "

Sounds to me like he was the problem! How dare he!

Been there myself and it's awful. I have to admit the best cure I found was someone else

Good luck and don't waste your emotions on a prat who would talk to you like that. Chin up hunni XxX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear that cheeky I've been admirer of yours for a long time and love all your funny statuses and your frequent forum posts. Time is a great healer and although never met you I know your not the kind of person to beaten,think yourself lucky you never stayed in a relationship with him it might not seem it but it sounds like he did you a huge favour the guys sounds a scumbag and I bet he'll have the audacity to try and come back with his tail between his legs. There are some of us nice guys out there and I'm sure you'll find him and forget about that loser sending hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What he said to you sounds like he went for maximum hurt. That says to me that he is the one with issues. He may be in a new relationship but how long will it last?

From what you've said, it sounds like he did you a favour as you deserve the best and he isn't it. I know that's hard to see when you've got feelings for him, but time will eventually allow you to see it.

Write him a letter saying exactly how you feel. Read it out loud and then burn it. My friend who's a counsellor says that's a great way to get your feelings out. Hope you feel better soon.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"he told me he loved me and that he was going to treat me an hour before he dumped me while we was out...we even had sex

That would make me get over him faster than normal. Keep thinking of this sentance you have written, he sounds like an arse, you deserve more"

Good point

We can't help falling out of love with someone but we can help how we treat them & he's shown no respect for your feelings whatsoever. Hold onto that thought, he's shown his true colours.

hugs xx

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Sorry Miss CC, I've only just read this thread. I know we're not meant to use the C-word, but he sounds an absolute cunt.

In time you WILL see that, and you'll wonder why you ever wasted a single tear on him.

Don't let him lower your self-confidence any more. Believe in yourself and know that you deserve so, so much better.

Hugs

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear you're still feeling this way, Cheeky.

I'm shite with advice, but sending hugs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry Miss CC, I've only just read this thread. I know we're not meant to use the C-word, but he sounds an absolute cunt.

In time you WILL see that, and you'll wonder why you ever wasted a single tear on him.

Don't let him lower your self-confidence any more. Believe in yourself and know that you deserve so, so much better.

Hugs

Mr ddc

I second this

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Men generally are not great at expressing themselves, especially when they feel bad or threatened. I wouldn't dwell on what he said during the break up. It's harsh but, it is time to forget and embrace yourself. Do not contact him, look at Facebook or anything else like that - it will upset you.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I will for sure xx

Can I join you ladies? Big hugs all round Xx

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Woke up with some positive vibes but fuck me do I miss him like crazy

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Woke up with some positive vibes but fuck me do I miss him like crazy "

We shall wash that man out of your hair with alcohol tomorrow night! Fear not, you'll have forgotten his name by 11pm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was the same in August, fell in love with a guy who didn't want the same . Ashamed to say it but tried to end my life through him and didn't think I would ever be able to get over him.

I am now glad I am out Of the relationship and heard bad things about him. Still doesn't matter what you are told at the time you can only think about him . You will get through this andlaugh and think back how can a man make you feel like this xxx

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself the grief and sorrow. Time does heal. Don't beat yourself up for how you feel.

Try to surround yourself with positive supportive people if you can.

And do somethings that make you feel good xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hopefully you will start to feel happier soon xx

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Throw yourself a big "pity party". Eat crap, watch a soppy film in your pj's then take a deep breath and do you.

You come across as a lovely person with the looks to match. Don't let others define you and make you doubt yourself. Very few of us have avoided the pain of a break up, but we get through it. Some people will go for the jugular as a parting shot...nasty for no reason.

Is such a person worth your tears?

In time you'll heal x

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

I will for sure xx

Can I join you ladies? Big hugs all round Xx

Anytime - hugs to everyone that needs one xx

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By *ok64Man
over a year ago

dudley

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chin up Miss Cc. He sounds like a right idiot! Don't let him knock your confidence. Your a wonderful lady. I'm here if you want to chat. X

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"A bitter ending is better than an endless bitterness... "

good point.

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