FabSwingers.com forum: sleeping on the floor

By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

this happened to my mum .... she fell out of bed at midnight and cos she has bad legs she couldnt get up again!!!!! she has an alarm but didnt press it till 6 30am cos she didnt want to wake anyone up!!!!

my sister and i have always said to ring us whatever the time but oh no by the time we got there she had been on the floor for 7 hours!!!! and two paramedics checking her out

how do i convince her she needs to have help 24 7? none of our houses are suitable .... what would you do? or have you been in this position .. if so what did you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this happened to my mum .... she fell out of bed at midnight and cos she has bad legs she couldnt get up again!!!!! she has an alarm but didnt press it till 6 30am cos she didnt want to wake anyone up!!!!

my sister and i have always said to ring us whatever the time but oh no by the time we got there she had been on the floor for 7 hours!!!! and two paramedics checking her out

how do i convince her she needs to have help 24 7? none of our houses are suitable .... what would you do? or have you been in this position .. if so what did you do?"

How about cot sides for the bed?

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my sister and i have always said to ring us whatever the time but oh no by the time we got there she had been on the floor for 7 hours!!!! and two paramedics checking her out

how do i convince her she needs to have help 24 7? none of our houses are suitable .... what would you do? or have you been in this position .. if so what did you do?

How about cot sides for the bed?"

could be an idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you need to have a chat with social services tbh.

They can offer the help and advice that your mum needs..in addition to what you and your sister have said to her.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

You can get something called 'Lifeline' or something like that.

The suer wears it round their neck and if they fall it activates a call to help.

Local Social Services or your GP should know about it

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"You can get something called 'Lifeline' or something like that.

The suer wears it round their neck and if they fall it activates a call to help.

Local Social Services or your GP should know about it

*user

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speak to social services, they may be able to provide a hospital style bed with the side bars.

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"Think you need to have a chat with social services tbh.

They can offer the help and advice that your mum needs..in addition to what you and your sister have said to her.

we have been in touch with age concern etc id have her live here in a heartbeat but my house is no good for her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

local council eldery care are a good starting point;they can help with deciding exactly who you can be referred to.have you though of getting her a careline as an initial bit of peace of mind?

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"You can get something called 'Lifeline' or something like that.

The suer wears it round their neck and if they fall it activates a call to help.

Local Social Services or your GP should know about it

*user"

she has one but didnt do till 6 30 in case they were sleeping!!!!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

my sister and i have always said to ring us whatever the time but oh no by the time we got there she had been on the floor for 7 hours!!!! and two paramedics checking her out

how do i convince her she needs to have help 24 7? none of our houses are suitable .... what would you do? or have you been in this position .. if so what did you do?"

Its a horrible position to be in isn't it.

You wont be able to convince your mum and trying to will just cause problems between you. I've been through it with both my parents and after much heart ache and sleepless nights we came to the conclusion that we had to let them come to the conclusion that they need help on their own.

I hope you can persuade your mum to use her lifeline at least but you're going to have to tread very carefully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can get something called 'Lifeline' or something like that.

The suer wears it round their neck and if they fall it activates a call to help.

Local Social Services or your GP should know about it

*user

she has one but didnt do till 6 30 in case they were sleeping!!!!!"

aah! yes...my mum had similar opinions! doesn't help does it.sometimes people will listen more to non-family memebers.. so yes,local elderly care team would be my next stop...good luck,i sympathise,its not easy!

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

How about cot sides for the bed?"

The risk with cot sides, is that the person could simply clamber over them, thus falling onto the floor from a greater height.

OP, I really do feel for you. I would agree with contacting social services, and also speak to your mums' GP.

Best of luck xx

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

thanks for your advice everyone i hate her being alone at nights especially

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"thanks for your advice everyone i hate her being alone at nights especially "

How old is your mum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my sister and i have always said to ring us whatever the time but oh no by the time we got there she had been on the floor for 7 hours!!!! and two paramedics checking her out

how do i convince her she needs to have help 24 7? none of our houses are suitable .... what would you do? or have you been in this position .. if so what did you do?"
Ask for an assessment from the Intermediate Care Team. They will fully assess her needs and make recommendations for equipment and care support

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cot sides are fine until the person in the bed decides to get up for the toilet. Injury can be more severe from a fall when someone gets over a cot side.

Lifelines are fine if someone has capacity to use them and is conscious. Neck or bracelet styles.Bracelet style are best as most necklace styles are usually found hanging on a door handle or bed post if a wearer isn't prompted to wear them.

Sadly social care doesn't extend to 24 hours care but if the person is a falls risk then a safety check could be a possibility or a live in carer for sleep ins or wakeful nights if funds allow.Best of luck for your mum most of us will have this situation to deal with at some point in our lives.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The problem I've found is that it can be extremely difficult for elderly parents to accept the reversal of roles with their children effectively taking over the parent roles. Calling social services in without consulting parents can cause massive rifts and accusations of interfering and result in refusal to cooperate. Also I can say from experience that its very easy for an elderly parent to tell social services that they can manage and for social services to believe them.

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By *ove bi guysWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

They are usually reluctant to issue cot sides because if someone gets confused and climbs over the sides they actually fall further. Only saying as we had this issue with my Great Aunt.

Does she go to bed by herself ?

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By *ove bi guysWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

A little off the wall but my sister uses a baby monitor that links to her phone via an app to check on her epileptic dog when she's at work ... would your mom agree to a cam for peace of mind at night or maybe encourage use if the necklace if she doesn't want to be checked on ?

It's so difficult. .. they stil feel responsible for the family and don't want to be a burden or worry people x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also how about a small mattress on the floor and a blanket / pillows easily reached so that she can keep herself warm and comfy for when she falls out of bed?

Remote cameras are readily available but need WiFi in your mum's house for you to view from your home, there are some which are pan and tilt which are best.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

My mum has a handle attatched to her bed to help her get up. It straps to the bed base underneath the mattress. It is large enough to stop her falling out of bed but that's not the real purpose. It is also small enough that it isn't a hazard if she does want to get up so there is no risk of a fall trying to get over it.

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"thanks for your advice everyone i hate her being alone at nights especially

How old is your mum?

83 in march

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"thanks for your advice everyone i hate her being alone at nights especially

How old is your mum?

83 in march"

I empathise. I hope you can persuade her to use her lifeline...my mum doesn't even wear hers.

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"thanks for your advice everyone i hate her being alone at nights especially

How old is your mum?

83 in march

I empathise. I hope you can persuade her to use her lifeline...my mum doesn't even wear hers.

so stubborn arent they?

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

If you feel she needs 24/7 care, maybe she needs to have full-time carers or be in a home. Yes this is a difficult decision for all the family, but her safety is of paramount importance. Good luck.

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"If you feel she needs 24/7 care, maybe she needs to have full-time carers or be in a home. Yes this is a difficult decision for all the family, but her safety is of paramount importance. Good luck."

thank you shes got really unwell since my dad died three years ago

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"thanks for your advice everyone i hate her being alone at nights especially

How old is your mum?

83 in march

I empathise. I hope you can persuade her to use her lifeline...my mum doesn't even wear hers.

so stubborn arent they?"

We call it stubborn but to them its pride, independence and not wanting to accept the loss of either. I don't know what the answer is

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"If you feel she needs 24/7 care, maybe she needs to have full-time carers or be in a home. Yes this is a difficult decision for all the family, but her safety is of paramount importance. Good luck.

thank you shes got really unwell since my dad died three years ago "

I've been in a similar situation, but other way around. My mum died in April leaving my 87 year old dad on his own. He's pretty much self sufficient, but I still fear for his safety, but he is stubborn and wants to stay in his house. If I thought he was in any danger, I would feel he would have to move to a oap home, but he would hate that.

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"thanks for your advice everyone i hate her being alone at nights especially

How old is your mum?

83 in march

I empathise. I hope you can persuade her to use her lifeline...my mum doesn't even wear hers.

so stubborn arent they?

We call it stubborn but to them its pride, independence and not wanting to accept the loss of either. I don't know what the answer is

that is very true we need to step in more now though

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"If you feel she needs 24/7 care, maybe she needs to have full-time carers or be in a home. Yes this is a difficult decision for all the family, but her safety is of paramount importance. Good luck.

thank you shes got really unwell since my dad died three years ago

Ps that would have to be his choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its very difficult when somone sees accepting help as a loss of independence, but, if you can persuade them to see that accepting some help can actually mean they keep their independence for longer then you might as least be able to get them to agree to maybe a daily visit from a carer or similar.

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

It may seem a strange suggestion but next time you are at your mums, press the lifeline button! When they ring back explain the recent event re the fall and I am a 100% certain they would be happy to explain to your mum that they are available 24/7....My dad was wary of contacting them at first but they were great

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

had some very helpful suggestions thank you so much

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"thanks for your advice everyone i hate her being alone at nights especially

How old is your mum?

83 in march

I empathise. I hope you can persuade her to use her lifeline...my mum doesn't even wear hers.

so stubborn arent they?

We call it stubborn but to them its pride, independence and not wanting to accept the loss of either. I don't know what the answer is

that is very true we need to step in more now though "

Yes we do. We tend to wait until we're asked now while constantly reinforcing the message that we're on hand. We visit as much as possible and call when we can't. I do what my daughter refers to as "stealth cleaning" when I'm there

I have noticed that neither of my parents are very good at knowing when they need medical attention so I keep an eye out for that too and encourage doctors visits.

I'm sure you do all that too.

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"thanks for your advice everyone i hate her being alone at nights especially

How old is your mum?

83 in march

I empathise. I hope you can persuade her to use her lifeline...my mum doesn't even wear hers.

so stubborn arent they?

We call it stubborn but to them its pride, independence and not wanting to accept the loss of either. I don't know what the answer is

that is very true we need to step in more now though

I have noticed that neither of my parents are very good at knowing when they need medical attention so I keep an eye out for that too and encourage doctors visits.

I'm sure you do all that too. "

we insist she goes to gp or hospital usually when she goes a grey colour usually its something bad

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

my sister and i have always said to ring us whatever the time but oh no by the time we got there she had been on the floor for 7 hours!!!! and two paramedics checking her out

how do i convince her she needs to have help 24 7? none of our houses are suitable .... what would you do? or have you been in this position .. if so what did you do?

Its a horrible position to be in isn't it.

I hope you can persuade your mum to use her lifeline at least but you're going to have to tread very carefully."

This. My dad put us through several episodes of him being resuscitated until the final time failed. He had call bells, aids and all sorts but he WOULD NOT have help from us or wanted our input. My mother is still alive at 95 and has full mental capacity and is exactly the same.

Putting cot sides on a bed imprisions the occupier.

Talk to her, tell her how you feel but then support her in her choices, not yours.

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

velcro on the mattress and velcro on her nighty maybe lol

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By *ooking for bbwsCouple
over a year ago

secret garden chilling, always something to do in the garden

my sister and i have always said to ring us whatever the time but oh no by the time we got there she had been on the floor for 7 hours!!!! and two paramedics checking her out

how do i convince her she needs to have help 24 7? none of our houses are suitable .... what would you do? or have you been in this position .. if so what did you do?

Its a horrible position to be in isn't it.

I hope you can persuade your mum to use her lifeline at least but you're going to have to tread very carefully."

thankfully my grandparents could move downstairs, as grandad broken him, grandma infection! An both were in hospital same time, however my grandma fell, an the nurse actually said not to put got sides on bed as they could still fall, just a bar by there head both sides will help, hoping u can help them soon!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bed rails are not the best answer and difficult to obtain secondary to the entrapment risk. There have been serious issues.

Is a height adjustable bed, or a low set bed an option?

Otherwise crash mats etc on the floor but again these can be a hazard if someone is mobile.

You can get fall sensors that alarm if someone falls or sensor mats that alarm if a person gets out of bed.

Is your mum's alarm registered to call you out or to send a response team/emergency services. Some people feel better paying a little extra and having a response team rather than disturbing family.

Not an easy situation but increasing common, all the best to you and your mum. Feel free to PM me if you need any advice.

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