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Yesterday's gender debate

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By *lairesurreyfun OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Weybridge

Sorry I missed the Caitlyn Jenner and gender debate yesterday but as a transwoman I just wanted to say thank you to the 99% of people who posted that actually understand the reality of gender. I'm afraid the OP is the daily reality of what it's like the majority of time in my daily life but I was heartwarming to read all the positive comments .

The channel 4 programme last night , kids on the edge - the gender clinic is the reality for so many

trans kids today and I hope reinforced the reality that we don't choose to be trans X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really annoyed me, my sister identifies as a boy, but is scared to tell anyone for fear of rejection. She wants to be seen as a boy but tells those that know to call her a girl and refer to her as a girl. It breaks my heart, that's why I'm referring to her as a girl now as its her wishes. I'm just hoping one day she will not fear what society thinks and opens up, I know it will probably be hard for others to adapt to her being a boy straight away and many will probably slip up and say she instead of he, but we'd soon get used to it.

I am really passionate about transgender as a topic and doing my dissertation based on it, I'm hoping it goes well and whilst it won't be able to be generalised, I hope it will give me some faith in mankind.

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By *lairesurreyfun OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Weybridge


"It really annoyed me, my sister identifies as a boy, but is scared to tell anyone for fear of rejection. She wants to be seen as a boy but tells those that know to call her a girl and refer to her as a girl. It breaks my heart, that's why I'm referring to her as a girl now as its her wishes. I'm just hoping one day she will not fear what society thinks and opens up, I know it will probably be hard for others to adapt to her being a boy straight away and many will probably slip up and say she

instead of he, but we'd soon get used to it.

I am really passionate about transgender as a topic and doing my dissertation based on it, I'm hoping it goes well and whilst it won't be able to be generalised, I hope it will give me some faith in mankind."

I give people the benifit of the doubt if they misgender me ,it's all about the attitude and tone of voice they use most of the time . I hope she finds the courage to be her true self whatever path she chooses .x and good luck with your distinction X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Michelle Obama is trans and she made it in to the white house, so you have nothing to feel threatened by.

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By *lairesurreyfun OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Weybridge


"Michelle Obama is trans and she made it in to the white house, so you have nothing to feel threatened by. "

And here's another 1%

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my nephew is now my neice ... had to go abroad for surgery but is a lot happier nowdays

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry that you have to put up with shit like that on a daily basis. People are ignorant and cruel but I hope you realise that the vast majority of people will stand by your side! X

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By *hloe sussexTV/TS
over a year ago

Larne


"Sorry I missed the Caitlyn Jenner and gender debate yesterday but as a transwoman I just wanted to say thank you to the 99% of people who posted that actually understand the reality of gender. I'm afraid the OP is the daily reality of what it's like the majority of time in my daily life but I was heartwarming to read all the positive comments .

The channel 4 programme last night , kids on the edge - the gender clinic is the reality for so many

trans kids today and I hope reinforced the reality that we don't choose to be trans X "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was quite proud of the people I work with when someone in the office made the decision to transition.

The MD sent a really supportive and sensitive email and pretty much everyone took it in their stride. Obviously I'm not aware of every single conversation but I think the majority just got on with things as if she had always been a woman.

I know she still gets hassle on the street and via social media/YouTube etc and it gets me down to hear of it so I can't even imagine how bad she would feel. Here's to one day people just accepting people as people with that being the only label.

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By *lairesurreyfun OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Weybridge


"I'm so sorry that you have to put up with shit like that on a daily basis. People are ignorant and cruel but I hope you realise that the vast majority of people will stand by your side! X "

You either develop thick skin or never go out . And yes the vast majority of people are pleasant ,or curious so that makes life better .the positives far out way the negatives x

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Glad to hear people being supportive op,i can't imagine how hard it must be.

Keep smiling and don't let the 1% get you down.

Miss xx

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By *ar-Some CoupleCouple
over a year ago

from somewhere glittery & sparkly

My daughter is now my son

I just wish there where more programmes about trans gender when he was going through it all.

It would of stopped the self harming and the secrets he thought he had to hide.

We have been through hell and back and I'm just grateful I have him.

My partner accepts him for who he is and the whole family are 1000 times behind him.

He has won numerous awards including iris diana and is a big part of the LGBT community.

And considering he is only 19 he's done bloody fantastic and I wouldn't change him for the world.

It's just a shame there are so many haters in this world who think it's acceptable to bully someone for who or what they want to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's weird, when coming across the posters before, they seemed like the last people on here to have those views. So I don't know if they were genuine. But I don't know what's sadder, them thinking like that or just saying it to get a reaction

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By *ar-Some CoupleCouple
over a year ago

from somewhere glittery & sparkly


"It really annoyed me, my sister identifies as a boy, but is scared to tell anyone for fear of rejection. She wants to be seen as a boy but tells those that know to call her a girl and refer to her as a girl. It breaks my heart, that's why I'm referring to her as a girl now as its her wishes. I'm just hoping one day she will not fear what society thinks and opens up, I know it will probably be hard for others to adapt to her being a boy straight away and many will probably slip up and say she instead of he, but we'd soon get used to it.

I am really passionate about transgender as a topic and doing my dissertation based on it, I'm hoping it goes well and whilst it won't be able to be generalised, I hope it will give me some faith in mankind."

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"It's weird, when coming across the posters before, they seemed like the last people on here to have those views. So I don't know if they were genuine. But I don't know what's sadder, them thinking like that or just saying it to get a reaction "

I thought similar, maybe some present a façade and sometimes that slips..

OP, give those 1% not a minutes thought. Personally I would not give them the benefit or a response..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm so sorry that you have to put up with shit like that on a daily basis. People are ignorant and cruel but I hope you realise that the vast majority of people will stand by your side! X "

Whilst the vast majority on Fab may stand by her side, sadly the majority of the population are more akin to the bigoted homophobic views that one person inflicted upon us yesterday as any trans person already knows.

To be fair to the media, the cause is getting more positive exposure than it ever did. It isn't that long ago the only thing remotely trans to be on TV was Little Britain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes those threads were ugly - all I can say is that although that sort of discussion could seem harmful in the short term, it maybe has at least brought all this out and raised awareness of trans issues.

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By *oi_LucyCouple
over a year ago

Barbados

I try to offer support where I can. Similarly to above, our son was born female and came out as trans in late teens. Luckily the fact we have such an open dialog in our family that it made it easier for him. He had already had queries about his sexuality and knowing his mother is bi meant that those kinds of discussions on sexuality were never taboo. So the conversations around gender followed as well.

Was it hard? Hell, yes. But we stuck by him, and he is so much happier a person now. He is now at a point where he is very very unlikely to be mis-gendered in public.

But, alas, the *average* person out there never encounters and never has had to question these sorts of issues. Did I, personally, know anything about transgender people beforehand? No. But I'd at least like to think I was a kind person regardless.

Yesterday I had to opportunity to help someone who was negitively affected by that thread. I took that opportunity to do so. Hopefully that is one more supportive voice in their journey. Also, yesterday I had the chance to try and educate people on the original thread. The OP was a lost cause, but if one other person as a result learns at least one thing and hence less scared of what they don't know, then it will have done good.

-Matt

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By *ar-Some CoupleCouple
over a year ago

from somewhere glittery & sparkly


"I try to offer support where I can. Similarly to above, our son was born female and came out as trans in late teens. Luckily the fact we have such an open dialog in our family that it made it easier for him. He had already had queries about his sexuality and knowing his mother is bi meant that those kinds of discussions on sexuality were never taboo. So the conversations around gender followed as well.

Was it hard? Hell, yes. But we stuck by him, and he is so much happier a person now. He is now at a point where he is very very unlikely to be mis-gendered in public.

But, alas, the *average* person out there never encounters and never has had to question these sorts of issues. Did I, personally, know anything about transgender people beforehand? No. But I'd at least like to think I was a kind person regardless.

Yesterday I had to opportunity to help someone who was negitively affected by that thread. I took that opportunity to do so. Hopefully that is one more supportive voice in their journey. Also, yesterday I had the chance to try and educate people on the original thread. The OP was a lost cause, but if one other person as a result learns at least one thing and hence less scared of what they don't know, then it will have done good.

-Matt"

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing I've noticed from our Pride at Work group is that the T in LGBT is the least understood and needs the most work to educate people. Even within the LGBT community

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By *lairesurreyfun OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Weybridge

You soon learn to trust your instincts on the lost causes , I know I've got a good chance of educating someone at lunchtime than I have at maybe 10:30 in a pub so you have to choose when or if it's even worth having that conversation ., it took me. A few years to get my confidence up to go everywhere and anywhere with my head up but having a dry sarcastic sense of humour certainly helps X not having the information or the Internet when I was young meant you felt you where on your own and no idea why I felt the way I did , I'm so glad that's changed for the kids these days and with supportive parents like you and more people understanding there's a good chance the 50% figure of trans who attempt suicide will come

down .

On Sunday it's trans day of remembrance when we honour those who have been killed just for being trans . Last year I listened for over 45 mins as the names of those killed worldwide were read out and I felt thankful to live here X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am afraid that there will alway be a (hopefully very) small percentage of bigots in the world. Sad but true. We can only strive to make them understand that hate does not have a place in society.

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By *atie ShayTV/TS
over a year ago

@@


"Michelle Obama is trans and she made it in to the white house, so you have nothing to feel threatened by. "

Don't give up your day job...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am afraid that there will alway be a (hopefully very) small percentage of bigots in the world. Sad but true. We can only strive to make them understand that hate does not have a place in society."

I'm of the opinion that once somebody has reached a certain age and is set in their views they're unlikely to change. People, especially 'neurotypicals', base their initial decisions on emotion then use rationalising and logic to back it up. Once it's got to that second stage it's too late.

The hope is speaking to the people in the middle, those who haven't yet made up their mind. That's kind of what I meant in my earlier post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My grandmother always said homosexuality was attention seeking and jumping on a band wagon.... Then again she thought soap operas were reality too.

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton


"Michelle Obama is trans and she made it in to the white house, so you have nothing to feel threatened by.

And here's another 1% "

But 100% fuckwitt

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By *anes HubbyCouple
over a year ago

Babbacombe Torquay

Try to ignore the trolls their ignorance is there for all to see.....

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

What right do we have to ridicule someone for something they have no control over,

The individual can't help the way they feel.

I know a few transgender and recently out of the closet gays, they are totally different people. They are more relaxed and happier now than before.

It is a shame that in this day and age we have such narrow minded people out there, that if something is not as they see it, it is open season for them.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London


"Michelle Obama is trans and she made it in to the white house, so you have nothing to feel threatened by. "

You absolute numpty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since joining fab I've learnt a huge amount about trans and everything that comes with it, I believe in accepting people for who they are irrespective of creed, colour or orientation. Yes there's a lot to take in and I'm still learning daily but hopefully everyday is a step closer to acceptance for the general populace

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