FabSwingers.com forum: Women are used by their partners

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A subject close to my heart. Why are so many couples advertisements shown as "Not looking for single guys" , are the adverts written by the male partner so that they can control the female partner to seek gratification for themselves with another female and not feel threatened by another male ? Ladies I feel most of you let yourself down by not insisting "What is good for the goose is good for the gander"..Please do not accuse me of hypocrisy , read both my profiles ..Ladies do not allow your partner to dictate to you .

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Maybe, just maybe, they don't want to meet single guys? Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mmmm, I accept maybe , but but but , men are mostly control freaks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that not an assumption?

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home

We are looking for ladies because we both enjoy playing with them. I often go to clubs to play by myself with ladies. Hubby enjoys playing with ladies by himself or together for ffm.

There's a lot of true biladies here. I'm just one of many.

But they might be some that they do it to please their male partners.

MrsSB

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By *ureTemptationWoman
over a year ago

Off the grid

I'm the reverse? I meet single guys alone and occasionally with my husband and he doesn't meet women.

*hangs head in implied shame*

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

Interesting post and am sure there is some truth behind this as I know some women in this kind of cicumstance where she did things for the partner... however equally am sure each couples have their own reasons and their choice is their own.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Most things in life is an assumption ..

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Nice opinion of men you have there

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Is that not an assumption? "

This

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

We have no single males on our profile. We meet couples and and MrsB also meets single ladies at girl only nights and she does most of our messaging.

That doesn't fit your assumption I'm afraid.

Lots of couples play like that and the girls are most certainly in control of what's happening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are plenty of women on here who have their cake and eat it.

There are plenty of cuckold men on here who's wives get all the action.

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By *ustylikesgentsCouple
over a year ago

North wales coast

Overthinking it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I, the male, prefer mmf fun. However, the lady of the house prefers mfmf so thats what we tend to go for on most occasions. Think you're generalising OP when you say most men are control freaks!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Woops terrible English , are an assumption !!! Sorry

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Have you thought if they are a couple they might only want to meet a couple or that she may be bi.

Radical i know

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

I dont and never will let my husband dictate what I do.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Well I have the freedom to meet single guys alone if I so wish, as long as all is discussed beforehand with the other half. Thing is, I have no desire to. So yeah, that's that.

Candy

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

It was me H the lady of this couple who wanted us to join this site to find another lady for both of us! I am bi and have been since I was 15 and now want to re light the fire as it were lol and want my hubby to join in the experience with me. So we only play together

He mainly is on the forums, I just check in now and again. But we always msg and look at profile's together. I have no interest in looking for a male or him or S just there watching, it's a full threeway thing or nothing at all

H xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If we write on a forum is it not inevitable that generalisation occur ?

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We arent looking for singles guys cos Miss has no interest in 3sums, as much as I would love us too. We are only looking for couples as we like watching each other with other people. Plus she is quite capable of making her own decisions and speaking her mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have met a number of single men. But sadly the success ratio is so low its frankly not worth our time. To many let downs has spoilt the fun, so as of now single guys are off the list and they can only look to each for someone to blame..

Maybe some how this site should take responsibility and allow us to leave negative comments.

That might clear the way for the rare genuine.

Please don't mail us telling us you're different. Had that mail a thousand times!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or....it's a single male pretending to be a couple and on the day of the meet something comes up so that his partner can't make it....

What did someone say about over thinking it?

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

I would let Frisky answer for herself but obviously she's not allowed on fab...

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By *ambscouple2015Couple
over a year ago

Not in Wisbech but near

We are the other way we have mmf which we enjoy very much so could say i eat my cake and eat it. We are now starting to see couples as well but taking it slowly as we all have to be comfortable. Suppose you could say I am greedy as I love having two cocks at once lol

Mrs CC

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

"Most things in life is an assumption .."

Your assumptions are your windows on the world..

Scrub them off once in a while, or the light won't come in...

Isaac Asimov

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have no single females on our profile.

We both only want men to supliment our fun so surely it work the other way for straight guy, bi femme couples?

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough

Sounds to me like someone was in a controlling relationship and is now projecting their own issues onto other people.

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home

"Sounds to me like someone was in a controlling relationship and is now projecting their own issues onto other people."

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I think some couples prefer to choose the single guys that they message rather than being inundated by messages from single guys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Exactly popping , you HAVE to discuss with your partner ie the male , he controls you ! QED

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow I never looked at it that way and have to disagree. Women are often the stronger partner in a couple and in swinging it's generally the woman (rightly so) who calls the shots. Interesting perspective but I disagree X

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By *ustylikesgentsCouple
over a year ago

North wales coast

"Most things in life is an assumption ..

Your assumptions are your windows on the world..

Scrub them off once in a while, or the light won't come in...

Isaac Asimov"

I'm always impressed by an as I moved quote

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Project much? Your experiences aren't the experience of everyone. Some geese don't want what the gander is having. Who are you to judge them?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I kind of get where the OP is coming from...I've been in clubs and seen some rather disturbing stuff with couples where both sexes have been rather controlling...however this has been the minority and not a common occurance but I would say for sure it happens in the scene along with everyday life...

However like I said it's a minority and the majority of couples have their rules and expectations in place before they even think about swapping...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the title of the thread offensive,I can assure you that my wife is not getting used by anyone!!

We both use the site and not solely me and we both decide who we meet!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Exactly popping , you HAVE to discuss with your partner ie the male , he controls you ! QED"

Or maybe she just wants to discuss it with him. There is a thought a joint decision on who you bring into your sex lives! God forbid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmmm, I accept maybe , but but but , men are mostly control freaks "

yes cause it's just men that are control freaks...never women

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By *ustylikesgentsCouple
over a year ago

North wales coast

Asimov duh

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Wow, way to insult men and women in one fell swoop!

So men are controlling and women are too weak to stand up to them?

Anyone who knows anything about me will tell you I'm all for female empowerment and strongly object to men trying to control women, but this OP, as a general statement, is bullshit.

Of course some men are control freaks and there are some relationships in which the woman is controlled and manipulated.

However, women can also be manipulative control freaks. That certainly isn't a trait exclusive to men!

Yes, some women are in the situation described by the OP but many, many do it from choice, because it's what they want. To label those women as weak and controlled is both ridiculous and insulting.

It's equally insulting to generalise that all men are control freaks who, for their sexual gratification, push their partners into meeting women, yet won't permit them to meet other men.

I'd say, in my experience, controlling men who use their partners this way are the exception rather than the norm. Likewise, women who permit themselves to be treated this way are in the minority.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I find the title of the thread offensive,I can assure you that my wife is not getting used by anyone!!

We both use the site and not solely me and we both decide who we meet!!

I do agree with your statement I don't find it offensive but I do believe that it does apply to both sexes being used and not all about women...our poor wee souls

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am not judging , this is a forum to discuss issues , you seem to have a problem with this ...No topics mean no forums !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met and spoken to a few couples who put No Single Males on their profile to stop the hassles with all the messaging. They tend to find the males they want themselves and/or just meet them at clubs...

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I am not judging , this is a forum to discuss issues , you seem to have a problem with this ...No topics mean no forums !"

But you have made it about one gender...do you not think that women can be controlling? I've met some women who are complete control freaks and have mulnipulated and been abusive to their male partner...I don't think it's about women being the weaker gender

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Exactly popping , you HAVE to discuss with your partner ie the male , he controls you ! QED"

Don't be ridiculous.

Partners are in a partnership. Things are discussed and agreed between the parties involved. Every partnership has their own way of doing things but it doesn't mean anyone is being controlled by the other(s).

A partnership in which one or both parties do exactly as they like isn't a partnership at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Total assumption. We are not looking for single guys because I don't want another man touching me. I'm genuinely bi and this is about us both enjoying the experience, but on the same note he's happy for me to play with a girl and him not touch her at all, he gets turned on seeing me turned on.

Mrs X

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By *anetandNickCouple
over a year ago

Ross-on-Wye

Well, we only very occasionally meet single guys on their own.

Because...

a) TVs are on average a LOT more fun than vanilla single guys.

b) Groups of guys are a lot more fun than just one on his own

Of course, for every rule there are exceptions.

Janet xxxxxx

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I am not judging , this is a forum to discuss issues , you seem to have a problem with this ...No topics mean no forums !"

You are judging.

Your OP labels men as control freaks and women as weak!

Later you state most men are control freaks.

That's very judgemental and insults both men and women.

You're also effectively telling women who meet other women but not men, that they should change their behaviour. That's as much you trying to control women as anything else!

Some women in couples don't want to meet other men. Who are you to tell them they're wrong or controlled?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I am not judging , this is a forum to discuss issues , you seem to have a problem with this ...No topics mean no forums !"

Can you use the quote button.... Makes 'discussuons' easier to follow.

People gave countered your original argument yet you have not provided anything other than defensive statements and one personal comment about someone else's relationship. Other than subjective observation a d sweeping generalisation what leads you to believing that all women in couples not looking for single guys are being used?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I would let Frisky answer for herself but obviously she's not allowed on fab...

I hope she's firmly chained to the sink where she belongs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Exactly popping , you HAVE to discuss with your partner ie the male , he controls you ! QED"

"this is a forum to discuss issues"

Therefore by the fact you have to discuss this subject with the forum, ie us; the forumites, we control you! QED apparently.

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By *ustylikesgentsCouple
over a year ago

North wales coast

"I am not judging , this is a forum to discuss issues , you seem to have a problem with this ...No topics mean no forums !

You are judging.

Your OP labels men as control freaks and women as weak!

.well said

Later you state most men are control freaks.

That's very judgemental and insults both men and women.

You're also effectively telling women who meet other women but not men, that they should change their behaviour. That's as much you trying to control women as anything else!

Some women in couples don't want to meet other men. Who are you to tell them they're wrong or controlled?

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

Maybe the no single guys is to maybe cut down on a lot of junk mail?

That way the couple can concentrate on finding men that they are interested in and not having to wade through hundreds of messages to find someone interesting?

We kinda work the same way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I smell feminism. *quickly backs away*

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I smell feminism. *quickly backs away*"

I smell bullshit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/11/16 19:38:07]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Christ have you got a problem ! Are you looking forward to Christmas , glad I am not coming around your house !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have met a lot of couples where its obvious the men are in full control over who his wife plays with but its unfair to say all because i also know couples where the women has no interest in playing with men and i also know couple's who only meet men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A subject close to my heart. Why are so many couples advertisements shown as "Not looking for single guys" , are the adverts written by the male partner so that they can control the female partner to seek gratification for themselves with another female and not feel threatened by another male ? Ladies I feel most of you let yourself down by not insisting "What is good for the goose is good for the gander"..Please do not accuse me of hypocrisy , read both my profiles ..Ladies do not allow your partner to dictate to you ."
my partner loves to see me with 2 or more guys... but we have not looking for single guys because its a tedious, suck the fun out of life job when you put an meet up for single guys. We just go to clubs and he nods the good ones over... leaving me to enjoy him and them.. or sometimes we just meet couples..

So dont make assumptions and actually I know more couples where the guy isnt allowed to play with other women than I do women that dont play with other men

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I smell feminism. *quickly backs away*"

No, you don't.

I'm a feminist and very loudly so sometimes and I think the OP is a massive generalisation and insulting to both men and women.

I think what you smell is one woman projecting her own issues onto everyone else.

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

Captured lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could be that they are sick to death of moronic mails from single men so they blocked them all and prefer to go looking instead.

Or maybe they like to meet couples together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit! My last post was a typo.

It should have read:

ALL MEN ARE BASTARDS.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Christ have you got a problem ! Are you looking forward to Christmas , glad I am not coming around your house ! "

Who?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds to me like someone was in a controlling relationship and is now projecting their own issues onto other people."

Sounds like a lot of women on fab tbh.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

A couple of points, the OP's profile is not up for discussion.

Please stay calm if you are going to post.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"A couple of points, the OP's profile is not up for discussion.

Please stay calm if you are going to post. "

Even if they tell us to check out their couples profile?

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

If the good lady wanted a single guy or group of single men or a fucking harem of men, then that is what our profile would say.

It's slightly offensive to assume that the men in couples have some command of our ladies sex life and sexuality.

The fact that my wife finds ladies more appealing and does not have any urges to meet single men has nothing to do with my preferences.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok I won't. Thanks for the advice. I will stand up for my rights and go suck another cock instead. Why didn't I think of that in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our profile states we are not looking for single men and it's not because me (Mr nice) is a control freak it's just because we get sick of the amount of dull messages we receive over and over and the abuse that follows when you say were not interested and added to that it's not difficult to find a single at any point if that's what we wanted and saves the hassle of rejecting people.

On the other hand we've spoken to plenty of people on couples profiles where you never actually speak to the female and that makes us wonder if it's all about him in which case we wouldn't meet them either.

Oh and Mrs dirty also wrote our profile so she's Deffo not being used...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only play with single guys . Mr wrote the profile as he had done 'this' in a previous relationship and I had no experience of it however I am the one who replies to messages etc .

He doesn't play with others as he doesn't want to , the turn on for him is playing with me with others or watching me with others

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By *orthseatiger69Man
over a year ago

Ayrshire /North lanarshire

"Mmmm, I accept maybe , but but but , men are mostly control freaks "

Perhaps in your experiences they are but not all are control freaks . Perhaps they both have no interests in single males , but enjoy couples or single females together . Each to their own choices.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"A couple of points, the OP's profile is not up for discussion.

Please stay calm if you are going to post.

Even if they tell us to check out their couples profile? "

Yes. The posts removed were discussing their profile BEFORE they mentioned their other profile. They didn't ask you to discuss that profile either, just check it out.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"Exactly popping , you HAVE to discuss with your partner ie the male , he controls you ! QED

Or maybe she just wants to discuss it with him. There is a thought a joint decision on who you bring into your sex lives! God forbid

If I didn't discuss with him before, it'd be cheating. Much in the same way he is to discuss with me if he is thinking of meeting a woman. If he didn't tell me til after I'd call that cheating and I'd go fucking nuts.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"If the good lady wanted a single guy or group of single men or a fucking harem of men, then that is what our profile would say.

It's slightly offensive to assume that the men in couples have some command of our ladies sex life and sexuality.

The fact that my wife finds ladies more appealing and does not have any urges to meet single men has nothing to do with my preferences."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got it in one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mysogyny and Misandy in the same opinion, now that's impressive.

The content however isn't....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

J only plays with single men at the club that is why we say no single males

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

So, talking of controlling women, where's hubbies solo profile so he can go fuck women on his own?

Or is it possible he actually chooses not to?

You know choice, that thing everybody seems to be pointing you to but that you keep ignoring?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mysogyny and Misandy in the same opinion, now that's impressive.

The content however isn't....

Misandry, bloody autocorrect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some women realise they are bi later in life and their partners want them to experience it. Good eggs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, talking of controlling women, where's hubbies solo profile so he can go fuck women on his own?

Or is it possible he actually chooses not to?

You know choice, that thing everybody seems to be pointing you to but that you keep ignoring?

After all "what's good for the goose is good for the gander"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've not much desire to meet a single guy on his own, hubby is not a control freak, we love playing with other couples and single females, I love the girly play so much, but I get the OP's point a little bit, but it's just borne out of frustration

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Exactly popping , you HAVE to discuss with your partner ie the male , he controls you ! QED"

Is that a serious post?

If it is you don't seem to understand human relationships or partnerships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about those used by their wives? I'm used as a living dildo, a chef, a chauffeur, a taxi service, and I have to watch her doing sexy times with other men and ladies.

Oh woe is me

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

"I would let Frisky answer for herself but obviously she's not allowed on fab...

I hope she's firmly chained to the sink where she belongs

God no...As soon as you mention chains or whips etc, she gets all excited...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have met a number of single men. But sadly the success ratio is so low its frankly not worth our time. To many let downs has spoilt the fun, so as of now single guys are off the list and they can only look to each for someone to blame..

Maybe some how this site should take responsibility and allow us to leave negative comments.

That might clear the way for the rare genuine.

Please don't mail us telling us you're different. Had that mail a thousand times!"

Like eBay style. You leave someone feedback and it goes against them and on their profile in full view. They can hide what's said but can't hide the negative mark.

Why a single guy would let you down I do not know. Don't really give people like me a chance at all when they've left us all with a bad mark.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

"We are the other way we have mmf which we enjoy very much so could say i eat my cake and eat it. We are now starting to see couples as well but taking it slowly as we all have to be comfortable. Suppose you could say I am greedy as I love having two cocks at once lol

Mrs CC"

Sounds like our approach to play...

Frisky definitely decides who joins us...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In response to OP how do you know the lady don't like being controlled in that aspect of her life. Maybe it turns her on.

Alot of women always leave then men in the relationship to make decisions. Most of my relationships have seen me take the lead cause the lady felt more at ease with me making the choices.

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By *hropsDuoCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

We have no single guys on our profile. We've played with single men at clubs, but doesn't do a lot for me as I get really turned on seeing my man with a lady at the same time, so only actively look for couples. In our case you couldn't be more wrong about being controlled by the male.. I (the female) wrote our profile, so could put in it anything I wanted.. I answer all the messages and arrange all the meets.. so how am I being controlled?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...

You're clutching at more fucking straws than a wanking scarecrow.

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