FabSwingers.com forum: Bullying

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Has anyone ever joined a sex site and been bullied into leaving because they actually meet others for sex? Especially by people who don't actually meet just like to chat or use cam.

Views please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bullied nope, attempts at intimidation yes but that block button is a great thing!!x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Nope..

stand up to bullies with wit, banter or a smack.

always worked for me.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Never been bullied into doing anything. Certainly not leave a site. People can only intimidate you if you let them

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

No and I would'nt allow anyone to intimidate me enough to want to leave a site I was enjoying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not on here xx fabs not like some of the others sites . If thay see it going on thay nip it in the bud fast .. bulling should never be part of this ... its about fun xxx

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Nope..

stand up to bullies with wit, banter or a smack.

always worked for me.

xx"

+1.

If anybody does ever try to bully you OP cut all contact and block the profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I haven't had a problem with this site but another is getting beyond a joke that 2 people are actually threatening and abusive not just through the site but got our personal mail also. They don't meet, but we have met many and enjoy it thats why we are on these sites obviously lol. I won't let them win but just wanted others _iews on how can a site let this happen to genuine people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullying and trying to pressurise is so damn wrong, people who do that should be barred. Having said that, there is no need for anyone to be bad mannered, which a few people on here sadly are.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

i was bullied and talked by someone last year because of someone i was meeting.

i got some great advice,if someone has that much interest in your sexual activities it proves one thing,they really need to get a life.

Yes it hurts,i left various sites ,but the fact is you use fab as you want and remember bullies are pretty pathetic.

Block and report.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

stalked,not talked!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about it. We were accused of being a fake last year (as I'm the only one who posts on here, Siren doesn't use the account at all), but all that changed when we went to the Chams Social and strangely the rumours stopped the very next day. Didn't get any apologies though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I blocked and reported on the site but the thing is there seems to be a little clique going on and they went into the forums calling me and getting other people to send really and I mean really nasty messages, they are now banned from the forums but will not ban them from the site they would rather other people go than the ones causing the trouble. Do not understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Why don't you post the same question on the site you're having the problem with

Let their admin deal with the issue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

awww nice to see u still here n whingin away happy as larry!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't had a problem with this site but another is getting beyond a joke that 2 people are actually threatening and abusive not just through the site but got our personal mail also. They don't meet, but we have met many and enjoy it thats why we are on these sites obviously lol. I won't let them win but just wanted others _iews on how can a site let this happen to genuine people."
I had some of this ...... and would think i am not going to let them win and get to me as i had been on other site years . I had done nothing to have them single me out ..... john got so fed and said to me ....... jo its not real life it a swing site with alot of bored fed up un happy people dont go down to there level. I stopped going on .. and am happy here on fab and smile .... thats how it should be .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"awww nice to see u still here n whingin away happy as larry!!!

Moi? Whinging? Methinks you have me confuddled with other peepies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"awww nice to see u still here n whingin away happy as larry!!!

Moi? Whinging? Methinks you have me confuddled with other peepies.

yer baws in a tinny lol!! i thought u would have been mr camerons right hand man by now and deserted us all for the number 10 wine cellar!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"awww nice to see u still here n whingin away happy as larry!!!

Moi? Whinging? Methinks you have me confuddled with other peepies.

yer baws in a tinny lol!! i thought u would have been mr camerons right hand man by now and deserted us all for the number 10 wine cellar!!

Um.... it's about 11 o'clock ma'am???

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

a site that doesnt deal with these type of issues, isnt one i wanna be on anyway to be honest .

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Don't mean to make it sound like its your fault OP but bullies cannot exist without their victims, and so its their victims that empower them.

Usually find that totally ignoring them is the best way. They feed off of your fears, if you show no fear they starve, they are totally dependent on you, so it is you who has all of the power and all of the control

keep this in focus and apply it and your bullies will evaporate into thin air.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No worries just think its a little odd for adults especially ones who are supposedly into the same things to try and push people off sites and threaten them in a way the if it happened in the street police would be involved. Just wanted others _iews and if its happened to them. I know its most probably the jealous and narrow minded people who are doing this but still if your an adult im sure they should be over the playground banter by now lol. Thanks to all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"awww nice to see u still here n whingin away happy as larry!!!

Moi? Whinging? Methinks you have me confuddled with other peepies.

yer baws in a tinny lol!! i thought u would have been mr camerons right hand man by now and deserted us all for the number 10 wine cellar!!

Camoron makes his own right hand arrangements.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last time I was asked to do something against my will was over 30y ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a site that doesnt deal with these type of issues, isnt one i wanna be on anyway to be honest .

"
quite agree with you

a was bullied over a couple of post n was going to leave due to it, but i stay on an kept quiet for a while which i did do

if i get any more they will be reported were suppose 2 have fun on here not 2 have fights. you really should go else were

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

No.

But, I have never encountered any bullying towards me, but if I did then they sure wouldn't make me leave a site because of them.

I would be surprised if you were being bullied on the other site because you meet people and they don't, as that site is a site that people use for lots of things, be that chat/cam/getting locations... and not just to meet people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tch, get yer daddy on em!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a site that doesnt deal with these type of issues, isnt one i wanna be on anyway to be honest .

quite agree with you

a was bullied over a couple of post n was going to leave due to it, but i stay on an kept quiet for a while which i did do

.............."

Just how does someone go about bullying a man in his 40s who's nearly 6 foot tall?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont go into chat now because i got sick of all the bullshit that goes on.

seen to much male bashing and arguements between people which ruins it and im not here for that crap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i dont go into chat now because i got sick of all the bullshit that goes on.

seen to much male bashing and arguements between people which ruins it and im not here for that crap.

Treat it like the comic book it is - just look at the pictures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a site that doesnt deal with these type of issues, isnt one i wanna be on anyway to be honest .

quite agree with you

a was bullied over a couple of post n was going to leave due to it, but i stay on an kept quiet for a while which i did do

..............

Just how does someone go about bullying a man in his 40s who's nearly 6 foot tall?"
so what yer saying is then i should bully them back ok very good

i get ban if i do

don't you think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, I just turn the other cheek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope, I just turn the other cheek

and what a yummy one it is. could your turn this way please? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a site that doesnt deal with these type of issues, isnt one i wanna be on anyway to be honest .

quite agree with you

a was bullied over a couple of post n was going to leave due to it, but i stay on an kept quiet for a while which i did do

..............

Just how does someone go about bullying a man in his 40s who's nearly 6 foot tall?

so what yer saying is then i should bully them back ok very good

i get ban if i do

don't you think"

If you think bullying back is the solution - that's your call.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope, I just turn the other cheek

and what a yummy one it is. could your turn this way please? x"
for you anytime

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Good grief no! Dont give a crap what people think about us. Also block button ensures nutters comments are short lived!

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Just how does someone go about bullying a man in his 40s who's nearly 6 foot tall?"

It's not about age or size, even a child can bully an adult. It's a skill that some people have and use to they're advantage and to the abuse of others.

Some people are able to command and others are not. Some people use their command skills for good and some do not.

In this hobby it can be a good place to see women big and small bullying men both bigger and smaller... explain that one... being 6 foot tall and 40 years old won't help.

There are many ways to bully someone, the violent type tends to be in the confines of childhood, most of the rest is psychological.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, whenever I come across "bullying" threads I tend to

as I've seen cries of "bullying" when all it was: difference of opinion met with "I'm not going to post ever again" followed by a flounce!

If this "bullying" is on another site I'd have thought raising the issue there would be more appropriate for their admin to deal with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullying, in whatever form, certainly is aliving and kicking, not just on swinging sites, but on every site.

Sometimes you cant report to Admin, other sites are not run in the same way as this one and maybe the Admin were active members of the site and not impartial. I think Fab runs in a great way because our Admin doesnt get too involved. Once you start making friends and acquaintances, its very hard to pull them up on seemingly bad behaviour.

Blocking isnt always an option is it, you cant block someone from following you around a forum and making little snipey comments, done in such a way that can be, on the surface, ambiguous.

There are people who will pull you up on any tiny thing, and this is not because they disagree with your _iews (though they will always pretend that is the only agenda), they do it to try and make you feel inferior to them.

You wont have been bullied because you meet people, they couldnt give a shit what you do in your spare time, but maybe you came onto a forum discussing it, maybe men came onto the forum making comments on how pretty you are - people who have been on a site for a while and have seemingly "big personalities" and appear popular amongst the masses do not like having their limelight taken.

My problem is that im like a dog with a bone. If someone makes snipey comments to me, I will not let it pass. I will always respond publicly, not as a coward by private message. I will not put up with being followed around a forum and having everything I say dissected. I dont care if people are popular and have their mates join in - you have to stand up to it and you have to challenge it.

I also am happy to be challenged. None of us are perfect. If im feeling grumpy I might have a tendency to be a bit short with someone, and im sorry if that happens. But just challenge me on it and I will apologise if im wrong.

The way to look at it is this, if you do feel bullied by a certain few, then deep down they are threatened by you. It may be your looks, your humour, your popularity with the opposite sex, whatever reason. There are always people who have a lot of negativity, you can tell in time on a forum because they never make a positive comment to another member or never have anything good or happy to say.

You can only be you. Thats not to say that you are the most wonderful person in the world and its everyone else that are the nasty buggers. None of us are perfect. But never leave a site and never change for them, and dont stop posting, because they want you to stop posting dont they, everytime they see you they are incensed, dont give em the bloody satisfaction.

Try and rise above nasty comments, it is hard and I cant always manage it, but continue to be happy and chirpy, if that is what you are. Continue to use a site how you want to and enjoy it the way you want, and if thats talking about the amount of meets you have, then its tough on those who dont like it.

But you are here now anyway, maybe this site will work out better for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Top post iconic!

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, whenever I come across "bullying" threads I tend to

as I've seen cries of "bullying" when all it was: difference of opinion met with "I'm not going to post ever again" followed by a flounce!

If this "bullying" is on another site I'd have thought raising the issue there would be more appropriate for their admin to deal with."

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

very well said Iconic.

and I agree with Sassy's comment about a flounce and off they go, only to reappear under a different name and then start goading for a spat.

I at amazed at times when people state they are being 'bullied' when they have a disagreement with someone on a forum. Many times the interactions between them you can count on one hand ( albeit you don't see what goes on in PM ) then out comes the B word...

The bullying that goes on in schools and the relentless terrorising of people, sadly oftens leads to a tragic end.. and I personally don't see any similarity between what goes on in here to even the mildest of what goes on externally.

I know there are varying degrees of bullying and am sure we will get a definition offered up.. No-one should be made to feel bad for contributing in society, but I do think people often do a disservice to true victims.

Same can be said of racism, homophobia etc etc..

here comes the disclaimer... no offence to anyone, not pointed at anyone, my comments are in general terms, not goading anyone... ( phew, think I covered my ass there ).

and I like my ass covered when around deviants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"very well said Iconic.

and I agree with Sassy's comment about a flounce and off they go, only to reappear under a different name and then start goading for a spat.

Same can be said of racism, homophobia etc etc..

here comes the disclaimer... no offence to anyone, not pointed at anyone, my comments are in general terms, not goading anyone... ( phew, think I covered my ass there ).

and I like my ass covered when around deviants

Once again View, you delight us with you eloquence and insightfully objective opinions and I humbly salute in your general direction,,,

As I’ve said before your wise words prove beyond all doubt, you truly are the very personification of a magnificently sentient being, with no need to cover his ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I blocked and reported on the site but the thing is there seems to be a little clique going on and they went into the forums calling me and getting other people to send really and I mean really nasty messages, they are now banned from the forums but will not ban them from the site they would rather other people go than the ones causing the trouble. Do not understand."

There more than likely insecure jealous types not worth bothering with, the only people that matter are friends the others shouldn't bother you no matter what they say, the genuine people will know your okay and more than likely know who the trouble makers are on the site and avoid them as well

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"very well said Iconic.

and I agree with Sassy's comment about a flounce and off they go, only to reappear under a different name and then start goading for a spat.

Same can be said of racism, homophobia etc etc..

here comes the disclaimer... no offence to anyone, not pointed at anyone, my comments are in general terms, not goading anyone... ( phew, think I covered my ass there ).

and I like my ass covered when around deviants

Pretty much agree with View and Iconic there.

I do feel some people play victim a bit too easily on the forums at times and that some people also become 'knights in shining armour' and leap in to 'defend' people who they perceive as being picked on. I've never witnessed any real bullying on the forums, there is a bit of tolling at times and some thoughtless comments, but not bullying.

I reckon the mods (and often other members) do a pretty good job of looking out for it on Fab.

Okay, my disclaimer...no offence intented to any one but if you do take offence then my mums scarier than yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wow ICONIC WOW one of the best posts of the year xx well done and you have it wright ....i cant always find the wright words myself but you did that for me x kisses xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay, my disclaimer...no offence intented to any one but if you do take offence then my mums scarier than yours.

Oi,,,Shur-rup you!!,,,,, I have a sharpened pencil at the ready, with your name on it

Boi-boi-boi....V-v-V--Vic-ic-ic-ic

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"Okay, my disclaimer...no offence intented to any one but if you do take offence then my mums scarier than yours.

Oi,,,Shur-rup you!!,,,,, I have a sharpened pencil at the ready, with your name on it

Boi-boi-boi....V-v-V--Vic-ic-ic-ic

Where's my night in shining armour!! I'm being threatened with the anal insertion of a sharpened pencil here!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay, my disclaimer...no offence intented to any one but if you do take offence then my mums scarier than yours.

Oi,,,Shur-rup you!!,,,,, I have a sharpened pencil at the ready, with your name on it

Boi-boi-boi....V-v-V--Vic-ic-ic-ic

Where's my night in shining armour!! I'm being threatened with the anal insertion of a sharpened pencil here!!!

Tell Soxy your Dad is a Policeman, worked as kids

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"Okay, my disclaimer...no offence intented to any one but if you do take offence then my mums scarier than yours.

Oi,,,Shur-rup you!!,,,,, I have a sharpened pencil at the ready, with your name on it

Boi-boi-boi....V-v-V--Vic-ic-ic-ic

Where's my night in shining armour!! I'm being threatened with the anal insertion of a sharpened pencil here!!!

Tell Soxy your Dad is a Policeman, worked as kids

What I really want is a gorgeous lady in fantasy plate armour with a big sword to defend me...

*mind wanders off.....*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a site that doesnt deal with these type of issues, isnt one i wanna be on anyway to be honest .

quite agree with you

a was bullied over a couple of post n was going to leave due to it, but i stay on an kept quiet for a while which i did do

..............

Just how does someone go about bullying a man in his 40s who's nearly 6 foot tall?

so what yer saying is then i should bully them back ok very good

i get ban if i do

don't you think

If you think bullying back is the solution - that's your call."
it sounds to m e you actulally like bullying

you said

iam 6ft tall an age 40

so whats

whats that got 2 do with

thease so called keyboard gangsters

are not age 40 size 6ft there mindless idiots, to bully people of so they can REDUCE the single guys on here. i think that is very sad.

I new some 1 was being bulled at school

he almost kill him self

you think that's right i don't.

they have to move away to get away from the bullies an in question the bullie got ARRESTED an charge an sentence.

so please don't tell me i should retaliate in which i won't;

you can if you want an get your self ban

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay, my disclaimer...no offence intented to any one but if you do take offence then my mums scarier than yours.

Oi,,,Shur-rup you!!,,,,, I have a sharpened pencil at the ready, with your name on it

Boi-boi-boi....V-v-V--Vic-ic-ic-ic

Where's my night in shining armour!! I'm being threatened with the anal insertion of a sharpened pencil here!!!

Although my aim is true, I lack the motivation to skewer a straight guy,,,,, so I shall devolve that responsibility to one of your many female fans

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By *rs Sugar Mr SpiceCouple
over a year ago

We are about 15 mins outa Pontypridd and we do go to Crawley in west sussex 2-3 times a year so get in touch !!

2 waord FUCK THEM!!!!!not literally like the bullies are just jelouse idiots ,always jelouse of ppl who get more meets than them so like i said ,FUCK THEM or block them lol ,it wrks for us every time

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I remember being at school and being bullied most of my school days and then leaving school thinking I will not be bullied again ever.

People who bully other people do it because it makes them feel better about themseves for that 10 mins that they are making your swinging life hell..

Just remember you are you and don't let people ruin an experience on this site that most folk could just dream about.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Bullying is a terrible thing in the real world but I'm not sure how you can be bullied on a forum to be honest.

If you can be made to feel small by another forum user then you shouldn't be on here as it's simply not the right environment for you.

It's just words on a screen, take the good comments with the bad and treat them equally, they are all throw away.

Tomorrow's electronic fish & chip paper if you will.

As sure as shit the 'bullier' wont even remember what they said to you after a few hours due to their tiny minds so why worry.

d[ o_0 ]b _____(Did someone mention electronic fish & chips??? mmmmm)

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

It is easy to say 'its just words on a screen' but for someone who uses this (or another) site as a social site as well as meeting site then it can be a bit wearing to be basically followed around being insulted or picked on.

I have been on non-swinging forums where there was a certain amount of bullying and it really can be trying. If you have made friends and someone else is always getting in there, trying to turn people against you, it's horrible! It may be 'words on a screen' to some, but my daughter was bullied on Bebo for a few months and she was distraught! It can really affect people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why do they do it is beyond me;

as i said before am here 2 meet females an have fun with.

not to get bullied or bully folk

if they can't handle my present then please just block me or go else were I'm here to stay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its when you get a group doing it .. to look good in front of there friends who strated it in first place .... Can get out of control if not stopped .... some times people are to sceard to step in and sort it out when thay see groups of friends bulling others as its them next who will be picked on .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think its when you get a group doing it .. to look good in front of there friends who strated it in first place .... Can get out of control if not stopped .... some times people are to sceard to step in and sort it out when thay see groups of friends bulling others as its them next who will be picked on .that's what the mods are for to step in an sort it"
Never had this on fab as no ones bullied me .. just let me be myself .... but the mods are one of the best things on this site and knowing who thay are thay are fair .. I know its taken out of there hands at times and site sort stuff but its nice to know theres people you can turn to if you need help .

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I must be just a hard bitch, as I would never think of myself as bullied if someone wanted to follow me round a forum . I would either answer them or ignore depending on how childish they were being....but thats just me.

I know others are not the same and it gets to some people and I can understand that, but I think maybe some people get confused with the definition of bullying and some people think having a difference of opinion is the same definition and I think that is how these things start.

Someone makes a comment that you didn't like ... you say so, they get the hump...it carries on to other parts of the sites because either party don't want to let it drop, and then when both have been as bad as each other but one can't get the better of the other anymore someone shouts "bully".

Now if at the beginning people had just took it as a spat or personality clash and ignored each other from then on, no mention of bully would turn up.

An example from another site we use.

Two people who had had a spat in a chatroom over someone else's business carried it on every time they went into chat. Their mouths were both as nasty as each other ( you wouldn't believe some of the things each of them said to each other)

One night one of them picked constantly and made snide remarks to the other person and the other person snapped as usual but even worse than before, they "won" the war of words and made an absolute fool of the other person.

The person then started threads on the forums shouting they have been bullied in the chat rooms for weeks and the night before....the post playing the victim was well thought out,because if I hadn't saw what had happened for the previous few weeks I might have thought it was genuine.

All for a little spat over someone else's business.

My motto, if someone is pissing you off, or you have a spat with someone , ignore ignore ignore.....sexy fun time is wasted /spolied if you let clashes/ difference of opinions on a website get to you.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I fully understand the schoolchild feeling terrified as she/he has to attend the school, walk the streets home and must be in fear of physical violence.. experienced that myself over many of my school years. God bless them.

But on a forum interacting with people from one end of the country to another, likely never to meet, they don't know your address, telephone etc.. I just don't get it.. of course, I could be totally off the mark..

The mods and admin will see other stuff that we don't.. and will deal appropriately. Blocking people does help

If this was a forum for swopping scone recipes and there was a spat, I could maybe under the sensitives being upset..

but a swinging site where people are meeting strangers for sex as the primary reason for being here, it beggars belief. People are prepared to go to a home/hotel or have them in yours and share with them the most precious thing of all.. your body,yet are going to feel bullied because of a heated exchange of _iews on a forum.. doesn't bode well for a happy time on here. That's only my opinion tho and everyone is totally different.

But if I am honest... some LOVE THE DRAMA.. there are people on their 3rd/4th profile over the years and each time they have left due to 'hassles'.. and each time they come back, they do exactly the same things and guess what the results are.. they never bloody learn.

I saw a spat about a month ago and someone flounced off after an exchange of approx 3 posts and 1 about being bullied, deleted profile.... they came back and within a week they had an update on 'looking for a new guy to take me dogging tonight'..now in my very humble opinion.. a mildy heated exchange of words is one thing..going into woods with a total fecking stranger is another..

but each to their own..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must be just a hard bitch, as I would never think of myself as bullied if someone wanted to follow me round a forum . I would either answer them or ignore depending on how childish they were being....but thats just me.

Now if at the beginning people had just took it as a spat or personality clash and ignored each other from then on, no mention of bully would turn up.

An example from another site we use.

All for a little spat over someone else's business.

totally agree, its a waste of wanking time

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