FabSwingers.com forum: The Fab School of the bloody obvious (aka the 'it's not exactly rocket science, is it? thread)

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sometimes the forum threads on here do make me smile. Often what we put in results in, let's be honest, far from surprising results.

Like the threads from the guys that have a profile full of gay-friendly close-up cock pics from a variety of angles, and then seem surprised when men contact them wanting to suck their cocks.

Or the ladies with absolutely no filters on their account whatsoever that complain when they get inundated with crap messages from people that don't fit their requirements.

Obviously it's up to each individual to run their profiles exactly as they see fit - but what other 'stating the bleedin obvious' lessons have you encountered that can we pass on to the scholars of Fab school to make their Fab lives a little less traumatic?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

For the guys who don't want messaged from men - use your filters to stop them messaging you

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Pics with the 'mean and moody' man look make you look mean and moody

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Read profiles - that's what they are for and don't blame something you can't change (like your height or age or cock size or cabbage field photos) for your lack of meets - the only person responsible for that is YOU!!!!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

For people to read the bloody profiles before contacting!!!

I love your threads Dan

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

When I first started using the fora I suggested exactly that - matching someone who was willing to be a sounding board up with someone new to swinging so they could throw all the newbie questions at them and it would be less daunting. As a single girl new to swinging it was a really steep learning curve for me and I thought part of the reason women sign up and inmediately leave might be related to that. I got shot down in flames for the suggestion and told I was an idiot in a variety of ways. So my advice based on that experience would be to not suggest anyone wants advice or that others might actually offer it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My profile is shouty, abusive and at least partially in capital letters. I'll only meet men if they travel to me, provide at least a 4 star hotel room and some designer shoes.

Why am I only getting messages from losers with no self respect?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

moaning about something will not get you a pity fuck.

i think not anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My profile is shouty, abusive and at least partially in capital letters. I'll only meet men if they travel to me, provide at least a 4 star hotel room and some designer shoes.

Why am I only getting messages from losers with no self respect?"

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Read profiles - that's what they are for and don't blame something you can't change (like your height or age or cock size or cabbage field photos) for your lack of meets - the only person responsible for that is YOU!!!!"

Profile requirements mean Jack Shit though sometimes, I've had ladies who want to come and visit me from hundreds of miles away who state "Can't travel, won't meet smokers" on their profile..

Go figure

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Being negative will not attract a positive experience on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pics with the 'mean and moody' man look make you look mean and moody

Wouldn't be able to do that if I tried! It'd result in much chuckling!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My profile is shouty, abusive and at least partially in capital letters. I'll only meet men if they travel to me, provide at least a 4 star hotel room and some designer shoes.

Why am I only getting messages from losers with no self respect?"

Crap, I've been doing it all wrong?!

*runs off to edit profile*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My profile is shouty, abusive and at least partially in capital letters. I'll only meet men if they travel to me, provide at least a 4 star hotel room and some designer shoes.

Why am I only getting messages from losers with no self respect?"

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Profile requirements mean Jack Shit though sometimes, I've had ladies who want to come and visit me from hundreds of miles away who state "Can't travel, won't meet smokers" on their profile..

Go figure

Tell ''em to fuck off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enough with the cock pics! We all know what one looks like and some look like they need a bloody good wash

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

always and I mean always remember your dealing with a breathing feeling human being . not a thing put here for you to treat anyway you want or for you to make demands on or _iew as somehow less than human because there on a swinging or hook up site looking for adventure and fun .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couples who complain that they can't get a meet with a single fem, but only have pictures of the woman.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Profile requirements mean Jack Shit though sometimes, I've had ladies who want to come and visit me from hundreds of miles away who state "Can't travel, won't meet smokers" on their profile..

Go figure

You're sure they're women?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

For people wondering how to get their partner on to FAB when they have a single profile - talk to them.

Women complaining about single men not being good fucks, not giving them what they want sexually - meet men who you are more compatible with.

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home

Biladies fancy a fuck? Works for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do women/men like such and such quality in the opposite sex.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

People who declare all their vulnerabilities and then wonder why some abuse them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just don't be a tit.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

A profile that reads "I am new to this" and "Joined: over a year ago" means you aren't new any more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The threads with the "Any ladies who like *insert feature I have*?". If you need to ask if women like guys with beards, without bears, with hair, without hair etc etc then just give up, or least stop starting your annoying threads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the guys who don't want messaged from men - use your filters to stop them messaging you

I don't mind men messaging me tbh. Just gives me other options to explore haha.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Profile requirements mean Jack Shit though sometimes, I've had ladies who want to come and visit me from hundreds of miles away who state "Can't travel, won't meet smokers" on their profile..

Go figure

Tell ''em to fuck off

We say "Do one" in this neck of the woods, but the effect is pretty much the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just don't be a tit. "

The winner of the internet today!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

People will post all sorts of photos. If you don't like it move on to the next one (and what forumites feel about them is only a minor representation of fab as a whole).

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Profile requirements mean Jack Shit though sometimes, I've had ladies who want to come and visit me from hundreds of miles away who state "Can't travel, won't meet smokers" on their profile..

Go figure

You're sure they're women?

Well unless they've bribed their granny into talking to me on the phone then I'm pretty sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just don't be a tit. "

Ohhhh.....

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

If you're going to message me to ask me a question.. Please just ask it!

I will never reply to one of those can I ask you a question messages!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say they won't meet smokers then message and question why you won't meet them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're going to message me to ask me a question.. Please just ask it!

I will never reply to one of those can I ask you a question messages!"

hate these ones. You asked a bloody question by asking if you could ask one, dumbass

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"For the guys who don't want messaged from men - use your filters to stop them messaging you

I don't mind men messaging me tbh. Just gives me other options to explore haha."

I'm talking about the guys who have things like I"M NOT INTO MEN SO STOP MESSAGING ME" on their profiles

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Profile requirements mean Jack Shit though sometimes, I've had ladies who want to come and visit me from hundreds of miles away who state "Can't travel, won't meet smokers" on their profile..

Go figure

You're sure they're women?

Well unless they've bribed their granny into talking to me on the phone then I'm pretty sure

Ah they are the fakes and timewasters we hear tales of

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Take the log (or fucking forest) out of your own eye before attempting to pick the fluff out of anyone else's belly button.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And avoid the Kiss, pass, fuck type of threads....you do know you will be missed out of the sequence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smile nicely in your photos...oh and don't take cock pics over the toilet please.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Smile nicely in your photos...oh and don't take cock pics over the toilet please."

A lot of men have toilets in their photos because they think ladies think they are sexy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And avoid the Kiss, pass, fuck type of threads....you do know you will be missed out of the sequence

There's never a face pic, so I never participate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Smile nicely in your photos...oh and don't take cock pics over the toilet please.

A lot of men have toilets in their photos because they think ladies think they are sexy. "

Yes toilets pics are sexy. So are single bicep pics. Now put the two together and we have fireworks!

Ruby x

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Don't take it heart when you get ignored either on the forum or as a result of sending messages

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't take it heart when you get ignored either on the forum or as a result of sending messages

Or when your thread tumbles down the page don't post any old comment just to bounce it back to the top again..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitly read the profile before messaging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple READ profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you leave you'll probably come back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your all sex crazed perverts. Yes the lot of you!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

If you are looking for single women put pics of yourself on your profile rather than a gallery of women's bits

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

"Don't take it heart when you get ignored either on the forum or as a result of sending messages

Or when your thread tumbles down the page don't post any old comment just to bounce it back to the top again.. "

Enjoying this thread. An education.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Your all sex crazed perverts. Yes the lot of you!

Yup, when's coffee?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating is much much worse if you're a man. If you're a good looking woman it's probably your husband's fault anyway...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you join the Matchmaking thread you must not read any of the rules but immediately post asking what the rules are

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Grown men who don't seem to know the size of their penis. Is it too big? Is it too small? Well, thankfully there's this handy little invention called a "tape measure". Get yourself one. Measure your cock. Job done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your all sex crazed perverts. Yes the lot of you!

Yup, when's coffee?

I'm free all day tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Grown men who don't seem to know the size of their penis. Is it too big? Is it too small? Well, thankfully there's this handy little invention called a "tape measure". Get yourself one. Measure your cock. Job done."

Pfft everyone knows the standard unit of measurement is the sky remote. If you are a fancy European type you can use a can of Lynx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pfft everyone knows the standard unit of measurement is the sky remote. If you are a fancy European type you can use a can of Lynx

And in some cases the compressed can of sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/11/16 22:39:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you add a post to one of those 'fancy shagging the person above?' threads someone else will post before you hit the return key and you wil look a complete tit to anyone else reading down the thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My about me section and initial messages are of equal resemblance to a cock as my avatar

Why can't i get a meet right now?

Did i forget to mention that your well fit and that i have a cock like a sky remote?

Apply within

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no middle ground.

Fat or skinny? Black or white? Big tits or flat chested? Completely fucking covered in tattoos or none? Active, or so lazy you're moved by a team of specialists using a fork lift truck? Educated or so thick you deserve hating and possibly stoning to death?! Are you an animal lover or do you drive a car SPECIFICALLY to run down a hedgehog?

I could go on.....i still might!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who actually cares about honey g in simpler terms don't like it don't watch it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you see a politics thread and it's not in the Politics section then you can guarantee someone.will always pipe up, helpfully, with "this should be in the politics section".

If a thread gets a bit testy, you can bet your arse that "popcorn" and "pulling up a chair" get mentioned at least twice by a random forum poster you have never heard of and will never see again.

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By *onhorMan
over a year ago

here

Patience is the key.

(Posted to see what happens when you steal someone's catchphrase

)

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

If you approach someone (i.e. Send the first message) attach a face pic.

Courtesy in my opinion.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Be honest about your sexuality because if someone has just a teeny inkling that you're attracted to the same sex and you have straight on your profile you will be outted as 'Fab Straight' by some smart arse before you know it

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

And now breathe...

I'm sure you all feel much better now you have that off your chest..

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

"When I first started using the fora I suggested exactly that - matching someone who was willing to be a sounding board up with someone new to swinging so they could throw all the newbie questions at them and it would be less daunting. As a single girl new to swinging it was a really steep learning curve for me and I thought part of the reason women sign up and inmediately leave might be related to that. I got shot down in flames for the suggestion and told I was an idiot in a variety of ways. So my advice based on that experience would be to not suggest anyone wants advice or that others might actually offer it.

I would be most grateful to accept your advice lovely lady.

Maybe we should meet to discuss and other things such as your love of Star Wars.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Cheating is much much worse if you're a man. If you're a good looking woman it's probably your husband's fault anyway..."

No,it's exactly the same.

Having said that,I'm definitely shagging that cheating slut.

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

"Don't take it heart when you get ignored either on the forum or as a result of sending messages

Or when your thread tumbles down the page don't post any old comment just to bounce it back to the top again.. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheating is much much worse if you're a man. If you're a good looking woman it's probably your husband's fault anyway...

No,it's exactly the same.

Having said that,I'm definitely shagging that cheating slut.

Lool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forum sweetie of choice is Haribo.

Other sweeties are available but their size has probably diminished and someone somewhere would have moaned about that (I.e Wagon Wheels, Mars Bar, Snickers...and *whispers in hushed tones* Toblerone).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forum sweetie of choice is Haribo.

More a double decker kinda guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you take pictures, make sure you at least tidy up first. Pictures with your favourite cum sock in it are less than appealing..also maybe put the toilet seat down...or wash the dishes. Impromptu can be good, but you will be judged if it looks like you live in Tommy's apartment in Trainspotting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you take pictures, make sure you at least tidy up first. Pictures with your favourite cum sock in it are less than appealing..also maybe put the toilet seat down...or wash the dishes. Impromptu can be good, but you will be judged if it looks like you live in Tommy's apartment in Trainspotting

And be careful of ginger pussies! !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My profile is shouty, abusive and at least partially in capital letters. I'll only meet men if they travel to me, provide at least a 4 star hotel room and some designer shoes.

Why am I only getting messages from losers with no self respect?"

How you doing?

I have a mate who'll lend us his hhs bedroom for an hour on a Tuesday.

Fancy it?

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