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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A 'light hearted' response
Thinking with your penis is maybe not quite right but your penis helping to prioritise matters....yes.
All rules starting with 1 means non are more important than any others I suppose, no pecking order (excuse the pun).
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.......why? We already know it works, it was probably designed by a bloke after all. If your not happy with it design a new one!
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries........men don't expect the perfect gift because we don't really see what all the fuss is about, if you want something why wait til a birthday etc? If a bloke has to wait til his birthday to be sexually satisfied he's with the wrong women! Men are always thinking, just not always about what women want them to.
1…. may be then you’d look as fit as the guys we dream about.....maybe you'd be with the guys you dream about if you were a little fitter!
1. Don't cut your hair......because I don't want to have to fib and tell you it looks nice afterwards, or put up with you constantly moaning about regretting you'd done it! (Its up there with your bum looks good in that!).
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.....so right it's not a sport, and those new shoes are not going to make you a model.
1. Crying is blackmail. So is “go on it’s my birthday”.....but the worst thing is having to wait a year to each birthday, definitely with the wrong women!
1. Ask for what you want. If we did, you’d feel inferior and get a complex......not really, we'd just say yes or no, if we the tables were turned would your reaction be any different?
1. We don't remember dates. This is a poor excuse for being tight with money. They will remember the dates of sporting events and any which could be used to bribe you into giving sexual favours. Don’t fall for it......wrong women if you've got to bribe, no wonder some men stray!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. We’ll remember the ‘no’ answer next time it’s your birthday.......good deal, lets forget birthdays and anniversaries, makes life easier.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. We do, not that we expect you to have the answer…. we just want you to get off of the PC so we can google it.....get up to speed and use your smartphone!
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. We don’t really have a headache… we are just proving you were blagging about not being good with dates......stop fibbing then and say what the real problem is.
1. Check your oil! Please. We will, when you start checking if we need more milk, if we are on the last roll of toilet paper, if there is water in the kettle, if there is anything for dinner…...don't check your oil then, your car will be ok lol.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument......beats anything you said 10 minutes ago not being admissable I suppose.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Where is the fun in that? It’s much more fun to watch you make a pigs ear out of it......whatever you do don't start being logical, logic is a horrible male attribute.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. Tell that to my clitoris.....why?Is it your birthday?
(This response is VERY tongue in cheek!). |
but then again... sod it!!!! 
lol
