FabSwingers.com forum: Bizarre meet..

By *ogerNesszones OP Man
over a year ago

Northern England

After reading another thread about people arranging meets whilst their kids were in bed (incidentally, I wouldn't even consider this); I was reminded about a couple I visited one Friday evening about a year ago.

They were (and are) a lovely couple, and we hit it off very nicely.

However, after adjourning to the bedroom (and mid session) I was asked to keep the noise down, as his 85 yr mother was asleep in the next room

So what weird swinging experiences have you lot had?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Your experience chimes with the first time I met a young, tattooed blonde fella.

He met me at the station and as we were driving to his he said, "I hope you don;t mind but I live with my mum."

I'm like, it's cool, you have to live with her.

So we're doing the business - energetically enough to have to move the mattress to the floor on account of all the noise - and I've got him pinned on his back on the floor and -bing bong! - the doorbell goes.

It's some utilities man there to check the gas or electric or something.

So this guy's mum is calling through the door to her son for some access code while I'm fucking him, desperately trying not to laugh in his face while he's hissing at me to STFU!!!

Oh dear.

Got a txt from him later that his mum had complained about 'all the banging'. Told him to say it was the workman in to sort out his pipes.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Although I did one last week which was decidedly odd.

A couple arrange to meet.

I get there and the bottom is well up for it, his bf looks sullen and 'isn't feeling well'.

I checked a couple of times that this was all cool and I wasn't stepping on anyone's toes or upsetting a balance...

So I'm fucking this chap and his bf is just watching from the doorway with a decidedly sour look on his face.

I just spunked in his face and went.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

There was the one with the beautiful Persian guy... he was an absolute stunner.

Married, bi curious, needed some help coming out of his shell... perfect.

So we're in the bedroom and he removed his t-shirt revealing a body that was not so much born as hewn... and then he gets cold feet. Can't be unfaithful. Wants to but can't.

And get dressed and leaves.

I was like, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So near yet so far.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Met a guy for a social at a local pub, he wrote perfect English in his text yet wasn't too great when it was spoken (he was Polish, I discovered).

He turned up in a dirty white transit and kept calling all the women from fab bitches.

I was pretty uncomfortable to say the least! Then he was trying to get me in the back of his van for a fuck even though I'd told him I don't fuck on the first meet.

I made my excuses, he wasn't having it, so I told him to do one before I alerted the staff.

I now refer to him as buffalo bill when talking about this encounter. He messaged me for days after, calling me by the wrong name.......... Rachael, verify me you bitch!!

Needless to say he's blocked lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Met a guy for a social at a local pub, he wrote perfect English in his text yet wasn't too great when it was spoken (he was Polish, I discovered).

He turned up in a dirty white transit and kept calling all the women from fab bitches.

I was pretty uncomfortable to say the least! Then he was trying to get me in the back of his van for a fuck even though I'd told him I don't fuck on the first meet.

I made my excuses, he wasn't having it, so I told him to do one before I alerted the staff.

I now refer to him as buffalo bill when talking about this encounter. He messaged me for days after, calling me by the wrong name.......... Rachael, verify me you bitch!!

Needless to say he's blocked lmfao"

How did you let that one slip through your fingers

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

There was the one that I got sooo wrapped up in that I missed two days of work.

Got some shit for that.

But it was worth it.

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By *ogerNesszones OP Man
over a year ago

Northern England

"Met a guy for a social at a local pub, he wrote perfect English in his text yet wasn't too great when it was spoken (he was Polish, I discovered).

He turned up in a dirty white transit and kept calling all the women from fab bitches.

I was pretty uncomfortable to say the least! Then he was trying to get me in the back of his van for a fuck even though I'd told him I don't fuck on the first meet.

I made my excuses, he wasn't having it, so I told him to do one before I alerted the staff.

I now refer to him as buffalo bill when talking about this encounter. He messaged me for days after, calling me by the wrong name.......... Rachael, verify me you bitch!!

Needless to say he's blocked lmfao"

It sounds like you had a very lucky escape from that particular psycho!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Met a guy for a social at a local pub, he wrote perfect English in his text yet wasn't too great when it was spoken (he was Polish, I discovered).

He turned up in a dirty white transit and kept calling all the women from fab bitches.

I was pretty uncomfortable to say the least! Then he was trying to get me in the back of his van for a fuck even though I'd told him I don't fuck on the first meet.

I made my excuses, he wasn't having it, so I told him to do one before I alerted the staff.

I now refer to him as buffalo bill when talking about this encounter. He messaged me for days after, calling me by the wrong name.......... Rachael, verify me you bitch!!

Needless to say he's blocked lmfao

How did you let that one slip through your fingers "

Was quite a struggle but I managed it somehow

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By *unky_monkMan
over a year ago

SE London

I once met a girl on a first date, of a regular dating site. We had a good fun mellow evening drinking wine in the park. We kiss. We roll in the long grass. Then as soon as she feels I'm hard is like fuck me. Straight to the point.

Was very wild and great fun but a bit surreal.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Speaking of work, I used to know this Indian guy who had keys to I think it was a student flat about 10 mins from my office.

His technique was amazing but he was an utter munter.

I was ashamed but I went back a couple of times because he was close, available, willing and very good. Just a total munter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happened twice now... both times it was their dads that were asleep. Ummmm

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Speaking of work, I used to know this Indian guy who had keys to I think it was a student flat about 10 mins from my office.

His technique was amazing but he was an utter munter.

I was ashamed but I went back a couple of times because he was close, available, willing and very good. Just a total munter.

Those lines from a rather well known placebo track again?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Speaking of work, I used to know this Indian guy who had keys to I think it was a student flat about 10 mins from my office.

His technique was amazing but he was an utter munter.

I was ashamed but I went back a couple of times because he was close, available, willing and very good. Just a total munter.

Those lines from a rather well known placebo track again?"

A paper bag would not have helped. I had to close my eyes

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You crack me up

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

You crack me up"

It's only funny because it's true

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By *unky_monkMan
over a year ago

SE London

"Happened twice now... both times it was their dads that were asleep. Ummmm

Eeek!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Oh gawwwd... there was a fantastic one I did a few years ago before I left the flat in London where I gave a running commentary on a thread I ran on a previous site.

That was hilarious and in terrible taste.

He was like, "What are you doing with your phone?"

Come and have a look...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

There was the guy with the dog fetish. What a nut job.

Wanted me to 'mount' him and 'breed' him and call him 'my bitch' &c. Actually brought a proper dog lead and chain along.

Anyway, a couple hours before the meet I get a slightly panicky text from him saying he's left his funnel at home and could I bring one from my kitchen.

I'm like, errmmmm, I looked *really* hard but couldn't find one...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh gawwwd... there was a fantastic one I did a few years ago before I left the flat in London where I gave a running commentary on a thread I ran on a previous site.

That was hilarious and in terrible taste.

He was like, "What are you doing with your phone?"

Come and have a look...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Oh gawwwd... there was a fantastic one I did a few years ago before I left the flat in London where I gave a running commentary on a thread I ran on a previous site.

That was hilarious and in terrible taste.

He was like, "What are you doing with your phone?"

Come and have a look...

It was funny and it annoyed a lot of people. And the sex was great. Win, win, win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Happened twice now... both times it was their dads that were asleep. Ummmm

Eeek!"

I got slightly put off and couldn't wait for it to end. Then ran the first chance I got. Now I tend to make sure I won't get something like that again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Met a guy for a social at a local pub, he wrote perfect English in his text yet wasn't too great when it was spoken (he was Polish, I discovered).

He turned up in a dirty white transit and kept calling all the women from fab bitches.

I was pretty uncomfortable to say the least! Then he was trying to get me in the back of his van for a fuck even though I'd told him I don't fuck on the first meet.

I made my excuses, he wasn't having it, so I told him to do one before I alerted the staff.

I now refer to him as buffalo bill when talking about this encounter. He messaged me for days after, calling me by the wrong name.......... Rachael, verify me you bitch!!

Needless to say he's blocked lmfao

How did you let that one slip through your fingers

Was quite a struggle but I managed it somehow "

All jokes aside I'm glad your OK it sounds like it could have been much worse...some scary people out there

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

All jokes aside I'm glad your OK it sounds like it could have been much worse...some scary people out there "

Thanks, I thought his nose and my elbow were gonna become well acquainted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh gawwwd... there was a fantastic one I did a few years ago before I left the flat in London where I gave a running commentary on a thread I ran on a previous site.

That was hilarious and in terrible taste.

He was like, "What are you doing with your phone?"

Come and have a look...

It was funny and it annoyed a lot of people. And the sex was great. Win, win, win.

Admit it, you're hanging out of the back of someone right now aren't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All jokes aside I'm glad your OK it sounds like it could have been much worse...some scary people out there

Thanks, I thought his nose and my elbow were gonna become well acquainted!"

Haha kick in the balls always does the trick

glad it didn't put you off completely just pick wisely and meet in a public location

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By *omez42Man
over a year ago

gloucester

I phoned her as arranged, giving half an hours' notice. She spoke to someone in the background, got an "Ok", then gave me her address.

I arrived at the MOD estate, nodded to the security guy and parked the car. Rang her phone and she told me to come to the front door. As I got out of the car, a squaddie built like a brick outhouse left the house.

She was wonderful & we had a great time.

As I kissed her goodbye at the door, I walked to my car, half expecting it to be trashed. The squaddie emerged from the direction of the security hut and walked back to the house, said "alright mate" as we passed, then went in!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Oh gawwwd... there was a fantastic one I did a few years ago before I left the flat in London where I gave a running commentary on a thread I ran on a previous site.

That was hilarious and in terrible taste.

He was like, "What are you doing with your phone?"

Come and have a look...

It was funny and it annoyed a lot of people. And the sex was great. Win, win, win.

Admit it, you're hanging out of the back of someone right now aren't you?

I've had my afternoon shag, I'm feeling fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh gawwwd... there was a fantastic one I did a few years ago before I left the flat in London where I gave a running commentary on a thread I ran on a previous site.

That was hilarious and in terrible taste.

He was like, "What are you doing with your phone?"

Come and have a look...

It was funny and it annoyed a lot of people. And the sex was great. Win, win, win.

Admit it, you're hanging out of the back of someone right now aren't you?

I've had my afternoon shag, I'm feeling fine

Knew we could rely on you

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By *unky_monkMan
over a year ago

SE London

"Happened twice now... both times it was their dads that were asleep. Ummmm

Eeek!

I got slightly put off and couldn't wait for it to end. Then ran the first chance I got. Now I tend to make sure I won't get something like that again. "

Quite!

I like your no face pic policy refreshing!!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Oh gawwwd... there was a fantastic one I did a few years ago before I left the flat in London where I gave a running commentary on a thread I ran on a previous site.

That was hilarious and in terrible taste.

He was like, "What are you doing with your phone?"

Come and have a look...

It was funny and it annoyed a lot of people. And the sex was great. Win, win, win.

Admit it, you're hanging out of the back of someone right now aren't you?

I've had my afternoon shag, I'm feeling fine

Knew we could rely on you

3 in 3 days

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Tbf, I probably am the bizarre meet that someone's had

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbf, I probably am the bizarre meet that someone's had"

On a social level. Yes you are.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Tbf, I probably am the bizarre meet that someone's had"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbf, I probably am the bizarre meet that someone's had

On a social level. Yes you are. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love this thread!"

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Love this thread!

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe"

It's only funny when people don;t know who I am

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Love this thread!

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe"

I would love to read a blog of his antics. DJ, can you make it happen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love this thread!

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe

I would love to read a blog of his antics. DJ, can you make it happen? "

Oh yes please

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Love this thread!

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe

I would love to read a blog of his antics. DJ, can you make it happen? "

It would be awful.

A rent-a-mob would track me down for my depravity

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Love this thread!

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe

I would love to read a blog of his antics. DJ, can you make it happen?

It would be awful.

A rent-a-mob would track me down for my depravity "

Do it, do it, do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had to have scaffolding erected recently in order for roofers to repair the roof. The roof had been repaired, a day later, I've arranged a meet with a guy from another site.

Nice guy, we're getting down to business on my bed, in a rather pleasant 69. In quick succession we hear a clattering sound, then heavy footsteps and finally a silhouette at the window.

The scaffolders were back to begin dismantling the scaffold! The guy I'm with pulls the duvet over him, at the same time that we've gotten a wink off one of the scaffolders who shouts through the window - "sorry to disturb you, we won't be too long."

Quite embarrassing when I had to sign the paperwork a few hours later. I still made them all a cuppa, just couldn't make eye contact ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love this thread!

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe

I would love to read a blog of his antics. DJ, can you make it happen?

It would be awful.

A rent-a-mob would track me down for my depravity "

I don't think my sweet innocent mind could take reading that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drove 30 miles to meet a guy.Said he was 45, when I got there it was pensioners sheltered housing! As I was there, I thought what the hell, but all he kept saying was " take my panties down" No sign of life down there when I did, so I cut my losses and went!

And he looked like Wallace ( not Gromit)Not my finest hour!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love this thread!

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe

I would love to read a blog of his antics. DJ, can you make it happen?

It would be awful.

A rent-a-mob would track me down for my depravity

Do it, do it, do it

I second that motion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love this thread!

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe

I would love to read a blog of his antics. DJ, can you make it happen?

It would be awful.

A rent-a-mob would track me down for my depravity

I don't think my sweet innocent mind could take reading that. "

Sweet? Innocent? Bulllllsssssshhhhhh.....

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Drove 30 miles to meet a guy.Said he was 45, when I got there it was pensioners sheltered housing! As I was there, I thought what the hell, but all he kept saying was " take my panties down" No sign of life down there when I did, so I cut my losses and went!

And he looked like Wallace ( not Gromit)Not my finest hour!"

oh man, keep em coming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another meet ( on Fabguys) Messaged out of the blue , can he suck my cock.Never even chatted to the guy before, but a bj is a bj.....

Went to his ' house' on a new development, most of it still being built, I retrospect, it may have been the show home. He answered the door, reeking of B.O. and dressed as Batman, complete with mask.

I do pick em!

Went home, logged on to fan.UNLOS.surprise surprise

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Another meet ( on Fabguys) Messaged out of the blue , can he suck my cock.Never even chatted to the guy before, but a bj is a bj.....

Went to his ' house' on a new development, most of it still being built, I retrospect, it may have been the show home. He answered the door, reeking of B.O. and dressed as Batman, complete with mask.

I do pick em!

Went home, logged on to fan.UNLOS.surprise surprise

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not fan, Fab!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Another meet ( on Fabguys) Messaged out of the blue , can he suck my cock.Never even chatted to the guy before, but a bj is a bj.....

Went to his ' house' on a new development, most of it still being built, I retrospect, it may have been the show home. He answered the door, reeking of B.O. and dressed as Batman, complete with mask.

I do pick em!

Went home, logged on to fan.UNLOS.surprise surprise

Oh jeeeez

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love this thread!

Welcome to crackanory, this week's reading, the memoirs of DiamondJoe

I would love to read a blog of his antics. DJ, can you make it happen?

It would be awful.

A rent-a-mob would track me down for my depravity

I don't think my sweet innocent mind could take reading that.

Sweet? Innocent? Bulllllsssssshhhhhh....."

Hush you. I could be.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Ok, here's a good one.

Are you sitting comfortably?

This is a candidate for the most unlikely meet.

Well, this nice young man contacted me a while back and arranged to come see me one morning while he was in the area (he lives 60-odd miles away).

So I get a txt in the morning saying there's a crisis at his work, can we do later? Ok, says I.

This turns out to be a blessing in disguise as I have a complicated day at work, my parents drop round unexpectedly (as the buggers are wont to do) and the other half came home early for lunch, so it could have been a big shit sandwich. But...

An opportunity presents itself.

(this is where the audience turns against me

)

Tonight is my daughter's first night in some awful kiddy sing-along. Everyone's out of the house for 3 clear hours. So he's in the area. We're both madly horny by this point and we arrange to meet in a nearby pub, ascertain that it's well worth doing...

Go back to mine and get frisky.

At this point, dear reader, you will note that I was surprised to find that he'd had his arse, bits, everything waxed just for me. Never felt anything like it. Remarkable. Didn't have the heart to tell him that I quite like fuzzy arses on men but whatever...

As we wander downstairs for a post-shag fag and I notice a missed call on my phone. They finished early at the play and will be home in 10.

I was like, "Thanks for the fun and driving 120 miles round trip but you have go NOW."

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By *aughty_amazonWoman
over a year ago

BRISTOL

Had a guy over, been changing for months but never met. He arrived,all giggly and being like girly. Couldn't look at me and kept saying wow, anyways long story short he was a giggling idiot......had obviously never had a meet before, quick bj and booted him out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a guy over, been changing for months but never met. He arrived,all giggly and being like girly. Couldn't look at me and kept saying wow, anyways long story short he was a giggling idiot......had obviously never had a meet before, quick bj and booted him out."

Love how you still threw a bj in before you sent him packing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You meanie

probably just stunned by the boobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wasn't a meet from here but was over this woman house had some food n a drink n got up to the bedroom then doing the business and she Shit all over my balls the bed my legs didn't no at first thought she farted but nope she sharted and I cried and I couldn't go home because I had a drink couldn't drive left my wallet in the house I had to stay there omg worst night of my life.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Wasn't a meet from here but was over this woman house had some food n a drink n got up to the bedroom then doing the business and she Shit all over my balls the bed my legs didn't no at first thought she farted but nope she sharted and I cried and I couldn't go home because I had a drink couldn't drive left my wallet in the house I had to stay there omg worst night of my life."

Shit happens!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit happens!"
haha I no Ai but when it's the runny stuff dangling from your ball takes the biscuit had nitemares from it lol.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Swinging ones are relativley tame, its the vanilla meets that have been the strange ones

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When i used to do the chatlines i arranged for a guy to come over.

Well when he arrived he was really nice looking, he said he was going to the car as he had something for me. He came back with all these bags. There was about 6 bottles of spirits, a couple of bottles of champagne about six boxes of chocolate enough fruit to set up my own shop and all this other stuff i cant mention here. Anyway i got stuck into the champagne and he asks if he can take his jean off.

Underneath he was wearing a womans leotard,leggings and socks. Looked like he was out of flashdance then started doing this dancing/exercise kind of routine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thread ever !

Dj , we would definitely buy your book

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When i used to do the chatlines i arranged for a guy to come over.

Underneath he was wearing a womans leotard,leggings and socks. Looked like he was out of flashdance then started doing this dancing/exercise kind of routine "

Please say it led to a dance off?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"When i used to do the chatlines i arranged for a guy to come over.

Underneath he was wearing a womans leotard,leggings and socks. Looked like he was out of flashdance then started doing this dancing/exercise kind of routine "

FAB!!!

This woman has way better stories than me...

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I've got nothing.

Weirdos come and meet me I want to play this game.

There was this one guy who told me he loved me....

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By *st 1972Man
over a year ago

Kingswinford

"Met a guy for a social at a local pub, he wrote perfect English in his text yet wasn't too great when it was spoken (he was Polish, I discovered).

He turned up in a dirty white transit and kept calling all the women from fab bitches.

I was pretty uncomfortable to say the least! Then he was trying to get me in the back of his van for a fuck even though I'd told him I don't fuck on the first meet.

I made my excuses, he wasn't having it, so I told him to do one before I alerted the staff.

I now refer to him as buffalo bill when talking about this encounter. He messaged me for days after, calling me by the wrong name.......... Rachael, verify me you bitch!!

Needless to say he's blocked lmfao"

There's no pleasing you single girls lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got nothing.

Weirdos come and meet me I want to play this game.

There was this one guy who told me he loved me....

I think you're more likely to be the weirdo.

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By *st 1972Man
over a year ago

Kingswinford

Childish I know but there's nothing funnier than projectile shit!!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I've got nothing.

Weirdos come and meet me I want to play this game.

There was this one guy who told me he loved me....

I think you're more likely to be the weirdo. "

I will test this theory on my next meet.

See how weird I can get before they crack

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Big rugby player,we had been winding each other up for a few months, one day he said im gonna fuck you so i said get your arse here now, which he did. Had a really good fuck until he came then he curled up on the bed hysteric crying "how could he ever live with himself" when i finally got some sense out of him i found out i was the first shag he had had since him and his girlfriend had split up and he had gone into a massive guilt meltdown

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got nothing.

Weirdos come and meet me I want to play this game.

There was this one guy who told me he loved me....

I think you're more likely to be the weirdo.

I will test this theory on my next meet.

See how weird I can get before they crack

God help them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Met a guy for a social at a local pub, he wrote perfect English in his text yet wasn't too great when it was spoken (he was Polish, I discovered).

He turned up in a dirty white transit and kept calling all the women from fab bitches.

I was pretty uncomfortable to say the least! Then he was trying to get me in the back of his van for a fuck even though I'd told him I don't fuck on the first meet.

I made my excuses, he wasn't having it, so I told him to do one before I alerted the staff.

I now refer to him as buffalo bill when talking about this encounter. He messaged me for days after, calling me by the wrong name.......... Rachael, verify me you bitch!!

Needless to say he's blocked lmfao"

We are from Poland, so sorry for that,

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

A guy slumped into a diabetic coma on me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much a meet but the guy who introduced me to this place back in 2011. Met him on pof, he said he didn't want a relationship at all but was happy to shag me, he told me to look on here as well so I joined and continued my search. Carried on meeting this other guy and then was getting messages off men that looked and sounded right up my street but when I arranged to meet them no one ever showed up. One morning I was over this guys house, he actually had an attic bedroom at his parents with the smallest steepest narrow stair case, I went on his laptop whilst he was still sleeping and just had a feeling to look at his pictures and there were pictures of all these guys that had messaged me and when I clicked properties the dates they had been made corresponded with the dates these profiles had messaged me.

I grabbed all my stuff, make up hair straightener etc and got my body on the stairs but my head was still peeking through the hole. I shouted at him and said it was him that made these fake profiles and he kept out of bed I jumped down the narrow stairs, twisted my ankle had to run down the other flight if stairs with him chasing me saying I made him want a relationship with me when he didn't want one. Was quite scary as his front door was locked and luckily the key was in the door but if you've ever tried turning a key knowing someone is chasing after you, I run to my car outside and locked the doors he was banging on my window and I couldn't get my key in the ignition for what felt like ages then I sped off! For a few years he kind of stalked me on ukmuscle and t nation fitness sites and even on here for a couple of years but he's long gone now!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I've got nothing.

Weirdos come and meet me I want to play this game.

There was this one guy who told me he loved me....

I think you're more likely to be the weirdo.

I will test this theory on my next meet.

See how weird I can get before they crack

God help them.

I'll wait for the message about this comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got nothing.

Weirdos come and meet me I want to play this game.

There was this one guy who told me he loved me....

Shhh you said you wouldn't say anything ffs

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

The guy who wanted me to walk up and down him wearing stilettos(when i was really fat) then whinged like a bitch when i broke two ribs and two floaters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The guy who wanted me to walk up and down him wearing stilettos(when i was really fat) then whinged like a bitch when i broke two ribs and two floaters"

Joe's right (I hate saying that) your stories are better.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"The guy who wanted me to walk up and down him wearing stilettos(when i was really fat) then whinged like a bitch when i broke two ribs and two floaters

Joe's right (I hate saying that) your stories are better. "
just different, most of my stories are pre internet days, when it was pot luck who you would get

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

[Removed by poster at 10/11/16 17:29:42]

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I've got nothing.

Weirdos come and meet me I want to play this game.

There was this one guy who told me he loved me....

Shhh you said you wouldn't say anything ffs

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Met a guy but he seemed more interested in Mr, kept talking to him during the deed which we didn't understand at all as nothing was going as agreed. We kept looking at each other like 'wtf is going on here', needless to say it ended soon after without any sort of ending then we left, it was just odd and confusing for us both. Mrs felt awful wondering what she'd done but we should have known better when it was the male half of us who was getting the compliments early on, ah well, just would have been nice to know beforehand during many conversations what to expect.

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By *edallionMan
over a year ago

manchester

And these people will say swinging is just a little part of their lives whereas they're meeting when their parents are sleeping next room haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Comedy Gold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one few weeks ago off here, had never seen a face pic, had been talking few weeks, basically had only seen her tits in a bra, told me she was a nurse etc,said she was going to meet me once never showed. So this afternoon had finished work early, had a lil snooze in bed, woke up come on here, talking to her, said she was finished work soon, I was like pop over, asked for my postcode etc.. so there's me not expecting her to show, I'm pottering about in house, gets a text is your door open? .. looks out window there's a car outside, could of been anyone's though, goes and unlocks door, few seconds later door opens, by this time, heart was going not knowing what was gonna be on other side haha

she walks in, in a local factory uniform, turns round saying right were we doing it!.. walks into bedroom strips off totally, so I get my kit off, she turns round to me and says have you got anything, then says it doesn't look very big .. I was thinking well I'm not a fucking walking hard on!.. wasn't expecting her to show so wasn't really turned on, so I gets on bed starts doing things, then I get up and go to kiss her .. gets I don't do kissing, so thinks alright, so says well you fancy giving me a suck, gets I only suck my lad off.. by this time was thinking fuck me man what the fuck.. so goes back down to business, she cums pushes my head away, turns round and says right I've cum I'm away, blokes do it all the time, gets ready and walks out and says thanks nice to meet you .. afterwards I was sat thinking what the fuck! did that actually happen haha .. I think I'd just been used , felt so bad ..

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By *edallionMan
over a year ago

manchester

"Met a guy but he seemed more interested in Mr, kept talking to him during the deed which we didn't understand at all as nothing was going as agreed. We kept looking at each other like 'wtf is going on here', needless to say it ended soon after without any sort of ending then we left, it was just odd and confusing for us both. Mrs felt awful wondering what she'd done but we should have known better when it was the male half of us who was getting the compliments early on, ah well, just would have been nice to know beforehand during many conversations what to expect.

He needs to get his eyes checked if he didn't feel that your Mrs is worth every compliment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant thread.

Really want to join in but all I have is when I was down in-between a gorgeous woman's legs I'd pulled after a night out and she started throwing up.

Spent the next hour washing her hair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually there was one guy I met (not from fab). Everything was going good, started off well. Anyway time came to take his jeans off. OMG!!! The smell.. I mean the SMELL!! I choked and looked down. It was just covered in white stuff. Regardless of which he expected me to put it in my mouth. I out right refused and just backed off. He looked at me confused like it was nothing and just said 'it's only cum'... only? It's foul.

After I refused to give him head, he was like I could still have sex though. Ummmm... at this point I had to play it tactically, as he was my lift home. So I just said I feel sick and just really can't do it. It wasn't a lie. I felt faint.

After he dropped me off, he decided to message me and was up for meeting again to pick up where we left off. He just couldn't see what was wrong in the whole situation.

I don't know if that was genuine or not? Never met him again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had one few weeks ago off here, had never seen a face pic, had been talking few weeks, basically had only seen her tits in a bra, told me she was a nurse etc,said she was going to meet me once never showed. So this afternoon had finished work early, had a lil snooze in bed, woke up come on here, talking to her, said she was finished work soon, I was like pop over, asked for my postcode etc.. so there's me not expecting her to show, I'm pottering about in house, gets a text is your door open? .. looks out window there's a car outside, could of been anyone's though, goes and unlocks door, few seconds later door opens, by this time, heart was going not knowing what was gonna be on other side haha

ha! Sorry have to laugh....but only because it usually happens the other way round to me

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By *edallionMan
over a year ago

manchester

"Actually there was one guy I met (not from fab). Everything was going good, started off well. Anyway time came to take his jeans off. OMG!!! The smell.. I mean the SMELL!! I choked and looked down. It was just covered in white stuff. Regardless of which he expected me to put it in my mouth. I out right refused and just backed off. He looked at me confused like it was nothing and just said 'it's only cum'... only? It's foul.

After he dropped me off, he decided to message me and was up for meeting again to pick up where we left off. He just couldn't see what was wrong in the whole situation.

I don't know if that was genuine or not? Never met him again. "

I do feel for you and people who've been in such a shocking situation. Hygiene doesn't cost much but that doesn't apply to everyone I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you still got her number? Asking for a friend obvs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you still got her number? Asking for a friend obvs

Was all done on here, no numbers

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

So, from your tale, Mr Geordie we've deduced you're a grower not a shower lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, from your tale, Mr Geordie we've deduced you're a grower not a shower lol

Everyone loves a grower lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, from your tale, Mr Geordie we've deduced you're a grower not a shower lol

Not being big headed in the slightest here but have been told I'm bigger than a lot on the slack .. who knows, but is the first and only time it's been said to me haha

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By *0sKidMan
over a year ago

Newport

Have you still got her number? Asking for a friend obvs

Was all done on here, no numbers

So how did she txt you then??

Good story btw, nothing like getting used

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you still got her number? Asking for a friend obvs

Was all done on here, no numbers

So how did she txt you then??

Good story btw, nothing like getting used

messaged on here text same thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Met a guy for a social at a local pub, he wrote perfect English in his text yet wasn't too great when it was spoken (he was Polish, I discovered).

He turned up in a dirty white transit and kept calling all the women from fab bitches.

I was pretty uncomfortable to say the least! Then he was trying to get me in the back of his van for a fuck even though I'd told him I don't fuck on the first meet.

I made my excuses, he wasn't having it, so I told him to do one before I alerted the staff.

I now refer to him as buffalo bill when talking about this encounter. He messaged me for days after, calling me by the wrong name.......... Rachael, verify me you bitch!!

Needless to say he's blocked lmfao"

Bloody hell girl, he sounds like a catch...what WERE you thinking!??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a guy from a different site when I first started swinging some years ago. We had messaged, but not exchanged photos, (early internet) and he told me that his profession was as a 'celestial travel agent'. I couldn't work it out and assumed he was a vicar, or something. We arranged to meet (I was in the NE at this point) at a pub, which turned out to be packed out with a do of some sort. I made my way to the bar, but I wouldn't have been able to hear him when/if he rang me, so I drank up and went outside. I then heard my name called and i spun round to see a very tall, thin guy with a stupid grin. He suggested another pub which was quieter, so in a bit of a daze, I followed him. I found out over a half of flat beer what his profession was, he was an undertaker! I spent an entertaining hour listening to him recount tales of dirty practice in the undertaking trade, pinching bodies from rival firms and the cost of coffin handles. All I could think of was where his hands had been recently!! Surprisingly, we didn't move onto play!

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Loving the stories.

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By *ogerNesszones OP Man
over a year ago

Northern England

I'm loving the stories too. Thanks to everyone for sharing yours. I look forward to reading more when I get back from the pub quiz.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I had a guy's parents come to say hi and welcome me, which was rather bizarre. The rest of the meet I'm letting fade into the distance, as it wasn't my best ever

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By *layfull pairingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Met a lovely couple in a pub with the view to a quick drink and chat and if everyone is ok, back to theirs.... got the first round in and alls well, the girls are yakking away like old friends and us two blokes head to bar for another, when the poor chap breaks down in floods of tears, telling me he hates the whole scene, hates to see his Mrs playing, never wanted to get into it at all but wanted to keep her happy, etc etc etc.... his Mrs susses this, goes mental at him in middle of the pub for ruining her night and asks us if we still want to head back to their place anyway and just the three of us play!!! Needless to say, we legged it.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Joe's right (I hate saying that) "

Say it again.

;)

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

"Met a guy for a social at a local pub, he wrote perfect English in his text yet wasn't too great when it was spoken (he was Polish, I discovered).

He turned up in a dirty white transit and kept calling all the women from fab bitches.

I was pretty uncomfortable to say the least! Then he was trying to get me in the back of his van for a fuck even though I'd told him I don't fuck on the first meet.

I made my excuses, he wasn't having it, so I told him to do one before I alerted the staff.

I now refer to him as buffalo bill when talking about this encounter. He messaged me for days after, calling me by the wrong name.......... Rachael, verify me you bitch!!

Needless to say he's blocked lmfao"

you had a lucky escape there

xxx

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