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Mens rules

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.1. Check your oil! Please.1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the offside rule, or monster trucks.1. You have enough clothes.1. You have too many shoes.1. No NO you really do have too many shoes.1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.No, it doesn't matter which quiz.1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

I like it

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

That's fucked all our meets for about 6 months now!!

Brilliant!!

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By *heekyladyCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Absolutely loved it. My cheeks are aching from grinning lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

class!

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

PMSL

WRY SMILE from 'er indoors lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LMFAO .... enough to make my firts forum post

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Very good and so true, loved the bit about colours as that is so true as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brill:

Also like to point out that it is OK for us guys to criticise the pish u women(in general) watch, like u criticise our sports,sci-fi,action films we should be able to slag off soaps,jeremy kyle etc

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Very funny and brave in equal measures

I like it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"LMFAO .... enough to make my firts forum post "

And what a splendid firts post it was...

Welcome to our humble little nuthouse...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

welcome......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thank you hope my typos will get better though !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bravo, that is excellent so true and funny

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Didnt realise Mr Secret had a single profile on here....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brill:

Also like to point out that it is OK for us guys to criticise the pish u women(in general) watch, like u criticise our sports,sci-fi,action films we should be able to slag off soaps,jeremy kyle etc"

oi oi oi oi oi

more chuffing blokes watch jeremy chuffing kyle i'll have u know

women have better things to do with their time like count cobwebs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brill:

Also like to point out that it is OK for us guys to criticise the pish u women(in general) watch, like u criticise our sports,sci-fi,action films we should be able to slag off soaps,jeremy kyle etc"

oi oi oi oi oi

more chuffing blokes watch jeremy chuffing kyle i'll have u know

women have better things to do with their time like count cobwebs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brill:

Also like to point out that it is OK for us guys to criticise the pish u women(in general) watch, like u criticise our sports,sci-fi,action films we should be able to slag off soaps,jeremy kyle etc

oi oi oi oi oi

more chuffing blokes watch jeremy chuffing kyle i'll have u know

women have better things to do with their time like count cobwebs "

new rule added: can women stop repeating themselves?? I heard u the first time.....constant nagging isnt sexy at all!!! hehehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brill:

Also like to point out that it is OK for us guys to criticise the pish u women(in general) watch, like u criticise our sports,sci-fi,action films we should be able to slag off soaps,jeremy kyle etc

oi oi oi oi oi

more chuffing blokes watch jeremy chuffing kyle i'll have u know

women have better things to do with their time like count cobwebs

new rule added: can women stop repeating themselves?? I heard u the first time.....constant nagging isnt sexy at all!!! hehehe"

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By *lack_BoltMan
over a year ago

oxford

I couldn't possibly comment … my other half is on here … but still wiping the tears from my eyes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant. just brilliant!

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By *acktilMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

Brave post!

I really do agree with rule number 1 though. raoflfho

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"LMFAO .... enough to make my firts forum post "

Hello newbie forum poster.

Welcome to the insanity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brill:

Also like to point out that it is OK for us guys to criticise the pish u women(in general) watch, like u criticise our sports,sci-fi,action films we should be able to slag off soaps,jeremy kyle etc

oi oi oi oi oi

more chuffing blokes watch jeremy chuffing kyle i'll have u know

women have better things to do with their time like count cobwebs "

I remember collecting cobwebs on a v-shaped branch on the misty September-October school mornings.

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By *razydriver8Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

there are exceptions to the rules.. lol

fsm has more shoes than me. more clothes than me.. and loves watching Jez in the mornings he's not working,

and i aways ask him what i should be wearing.. he is like my own personal Gok.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

permission to nick... ahem.. i meant borrow that for me profile......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That had me chuckling.

Specially rule no.1.

Quality. heehee

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

another new keyboard required.... excellent work!!!

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

was that toungue in cheek?

really?

you sure it's not true?

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk

So true mate so very true lol

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brill:

Also like to point out that it is OK for us guys to criticise the pish u women(in general) watch, like u criticise our sports,sci-fi,action films we should be able to slag off soaps,jeremy kyle etc"

love sci-fi ,action movies hate jarmey kyle,

from her E lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Glad everyone got the idea lol thanks fir the feedback too, think I've ruined my chances of meets now lol x

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall


"Glad everyone got the idea lol thanks fir the feedback too, think I've ruined my chances of meets now lol x"

Dead in the water. Thats what you get for cut and pasteing emails lol

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By *aulasteCouple
over a year ago

halton.....in a room under the stairs!!!

Ha ha this is brilliant, your very brave!!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bloody great hope you win the lottery

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Great post.....

But I disagree a girl can never have too clothes or shoes

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

My missus agrees with Rule 1

Not

Still brill though.

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