FabSwingers.com forum: cheesey chat up lines

By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

Inspired by my morning thus far

"Your lips look so lonely

Would they like to meet mine?"

What have you got?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm crap at chat ups and flirting but I'm definitely stealing that one

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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I've got plenty

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Was your Dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one's tried a chat up line on me for years

and I can't bring myself to try them on others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you sit in a pile of sugar?

Because you've got a pretty sweet arse

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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They say a girls best friend are her legs. But even the best of friends sometimes have to part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of ten?

I'd give you one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?"

I'm scribbling all these down in a little black book ..

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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My mattress is a little hard. Would you like to help me break it in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I said you had a good body, fancy a fuck?

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is that a ladder.in your tights......

Or a stairway to heaven??"

Did it hurt??

When you fell from heaven...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that a ladder in your stocking or a stairway to heaven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice wellies. They'd look better on my bedroom floor."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a car parking ticket?

Because baby, you've got FINE written all over you

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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I’m a burglar and I’m gonna smash your backdoor in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Doctor says I'm lacking some Vitamin U!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that that something in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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I may not be a handyman, but I can still fill your crack in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you the cure for Alzheimer's?

You're unforgettable!

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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One of the best

I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonigh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you like Shakatak and Funboy three?

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of the best

I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonigh"

Added to my list!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to kiss you softly on the lips. Then move up to your bellybutton.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello, are you married? [Yes]

I didn't hear you say happily?!

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Girl, if I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the shit!

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"One of the best

I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonigh

Added to my list!

I love this one.

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven’t got any, how about a cock?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love you like a Pig loves not being bacon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my dreams all night

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Are you from Ireland? ‘Cuz my dick’s-a-Dublin!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love you like a Pig loves not being bacon

On a similar theme, courtesy of Fiddy Cent.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you were a tropical fruit, you'd be a FINE-apple!

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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It's a good thing I have my library card becasue I am totally checking you out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your Dads name must be Jacob? Because you're a cracker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm stepping it up now!

There's only 7 planets left in the Universe after I destroy Uranus!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that a phone in your back pocket?

Because that arse is calling me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm stepping it up now!

There's only 7 planets left in the Universe after I destroy Uranus!

Isn't it 8?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a Tortilla?

Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have nothing from either perspective...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know why I am like a squirrel?

Because I want to bury my nuts in you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is your name google?

Because i've just found what i've been searching for

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"I'm stepping it up now!

There's only 7 planets left in the Universe after I destroy Uranus!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can i take your picture so i can show santa what i want for christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I named my cock “The Truth” because women can’t handle it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll treat you like my homework!

Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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[Removed by poster at 02/11/16 10:45:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should i walk by again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if i said u have a beautiful body !! wud u hold it against me ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is cringe!

Are you a parking ticket?

Because you have FINE written all over you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know that your eyes are the same colour as my Lamborghini

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let’s play Barbie.

I’ll be Ken and you can be the "box" I come in.

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Do you have a shovel? Cause I’m diggin’ that ass!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home!

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home! "

Winner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should join the circus, so you can learn to juggle my balls all day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!

Ah hahahahaha!!! Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have pretty eyeballs, of course they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know how your hair would look really good?

Covering my balls!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanna play midget boxing?

You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted?

What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone said this obvious one?

Call me Fred Flinstone! Because I can make your bed rock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That dress is very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, you’re a bird watcher?

[Pull out your cock]

Well, would you take this for a swallow?

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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My body has 206 bones

Want to give me another one?

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Is my vagina crying or are you just sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cock just died

Any chance I can bury it in your arse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Miss,

If you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the "box" it came in?

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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Are you a candle?

Because I'm going to blow you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's on the menu?

Me n u

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"What's on the menu?

Me n u "

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Fancy a fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets play “Titanic.” When I say “Iceberg!” you do down!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac’s in your bra?

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

I'll be the rock to your roll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you a single mum?"

" would you like to be?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m either going home with you or behind you, take your pick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much for anal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello, are you married? [Yes]

I didn't hear you say happily?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well her i am , what are your other 2 wishes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a parking ticket , cause you have fine written all over you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/11/16 11:30:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Want to stay at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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You know what would make your face better?

If I sat on it

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"Want to stay at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a magician? Beacuse when i look at you every1 else dissapears

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're so selfish! You're going to have that body for the rest of your life, I only want it for one night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with that one 100%

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Pass me the sick bucket

Hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you were a vegetable you would be a cute-cumber

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/11/16 11:36:12]

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex

Straight to the point.

Get your coat love you've pulled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you see a man you like, go up to him and look at his crotch then his face, then at his crotch again and ask, "are you gonna eat that?"

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Sorry I didn't save it, but it was definitely music related..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You (points at the person), me (points at oneself), it's destiny.

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

"I’m either going home with you or behind you, take your pick!

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Well go on then, it's not going to suck itself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Straight to the point.

Get your coat love you've pulled.

A guy I knew at uni did a variation of that, his line was 'get your coat, you've BEEN pulled'.

It worked, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much does a polar bear weight?

I don't know either, but it breaks the ice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont have a libary card but do you mind if i check you out ?

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

[Removed by poster at 02/11/16 11:44:51]

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(Use index finger to call someone over then say)

I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

You've got one of those faces.

Oh yeah, what's that?

The kind I like to sit on

And yes, I do say this

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

I can feel a song coming on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How much does a polar bear weight?

I don't know either, but it breaks the ice!"

Oi!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you work in build a bear?

Because I wound stuff you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?

(Pull your pockets inside out….)

Would you like to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your pants they bother me - take em off

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

"How much does a polar bear weight?

I don't know either, but it breaks the ice!

Oi!!

I'm freezing today,would you come break me?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?

(Pull your pockets inside out….)

Would you like to?

Same vein (sic)

"Wanna see my elephant impression?"..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey good lookin’, whatcha got cookin’? Nothing could be finer, than the taste of your vagina!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, I’m the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?

(Pull your pockets inside out….)

Would you like to?

Same vein (sic)

"Wanna see my elephant impression?".."

Wanna see mine?

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?

(Pull your pockets inside out….)

Would you like to?

Same vein (sic)

"Wanna see my elephant impression?".."

HA I haven't done the elephant impression for ages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?

(Pull your pockets inside out….)

Would you like to?

Same vein (sic)

"Wanna see my elephant impression?"..

Wanna see mine?"

Did it have its trunk removed?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Why don't you come up and see me sometime, but take your time downstairs first"..

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?

(Pull your pockets inside out….)

Would you like to?

Same vein (sic)

"Wanna see my elephant impression?"..

Wanna see mine?"

Always...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a racehorse? Because when I ride you'll always finish first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?

(Pull your pockets inside out….)

Would you like to?

Same vein (sic)

"Wanna see my elephant impression?"..

Wanna see mine?"

I think we all would yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your so fucking hot, I'd wank your dad off just to see where you came from!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*picks ice out of drink drops on floor and stands on* now ive broken the ice....let me introduce myself..

Soooo cheesy!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's 50p, call your husband and tell him you won't be home tonight.

How do you like your eggs in the morning... How about fertilized?

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you like tapes and CDs? (I guess) Good, because I'm gonna tape this dick to your forehead so you CDs nuts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for Queen and country

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your beauty is why God invented eye balls, your tits is why God invented my balls!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a Termite? Because you're about to have a mouth full of wood!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did once say to a woman in a night club "If I said you had a wonderful body" and was going to say "would you hold it against me?" But what came out was "If I said you had a wonderful body, I'd be lying, but you can still hold it against me!"

To my surprise we got on well,after she stopped laughing she bought me a drink. She didn't hold her body against me though but we often had a laughing together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Camembert?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you work in subway, as you've just give me a 12 inch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that dress your wearing made out of space shuttle tiles? you look out this world in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you got mirrored knickers on, I can see myself in them

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