FabSwingers.com forum: Who texts first

By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

So when chatting to the opposite sex who texts who first? I sent a guy a text just saying thank you for a lovely evening......I feel that I was being too eager....I haven't had a response and that's cool but does it come across as to eager??? I'm confused

which doesn't take much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a Fab date I'll tend to send a quick text when I get home. Sometimes I get in first, other times they've already messaged.

I don't think it matters so much these days with all this equality

If someone messaged me quickly I wouldn't think it was over eager - it's just being polite isn't it?

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"After a Fab date I'll tend to send a quick text when I get home. Sometimes I get in first, other times they've already messaged.

I don't think it matters so much these days with all this equality

If someone messaged me quickly I wouldn't think it was over eager - it's just being polite isn't it? "

Fook knows

I'm useless when it comes to these things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm home first, I text first. I don't see it as being eager. I see it as being polite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After a Fab date I'll tend to send a quick text when I get home. Sometimes I get in first, other times they've already messaged.

I don't think it matters so much these days with all this equality

If someone messaged me quickly I wouldn't think it was over eager - it's just being polite isn't it?

Fook knows

I'm useless when it comes to these things

"
i will send my number and you can text me as much as u like lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely text first. I don't think to do it, because I'm usually busy doing something else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be confident enough to send it and not care. If they want to play those games then that reflects poorly on them.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"After a Fab date I'll tend to send a quick text when I get home. Sometimes I get in first, other times they've already messaged.

I don't think it matters so much these days with all this equality

If someone messaged me quickly I wouldn't think it was over eager - it's just being polite isn't it?

Fook knows

I'm useless when it comes to these things

i will send my number and you can text me as much as u like lol"

Haha your very own stalker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So when chatting to the opposite sex who texts who first? I sent a guy a text just saying thank you for a lovely evening......I feel that I was being too eager....I haven't had a response and that's cool but does it come across as to eager??? I'm confused

which doesn't take much

He's probably being a bloke and trying to style out his response. He's probably wanting to text you to but doesn't want to appear to eager

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Be confident enough to send it and not care. If they want to play those games then that reflects poorly on them. "

Nice profile pic.....

nice to see you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't really matter. It's good that you took the bull by the horns OP.

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll always text first, it's just good manners and politeness I think.

Saying that though, my record with dating is rubbish as shown last week when my date was put off by me turning up with a single rose for her. Apparently it was "too nice and a turn off"

Ah well

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"It doesn't really matter. It's good that you took the bull by the horns OP.

Kinky

Thanks angel I need to stop thinking so much that's half my battle in life I think too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be confident enough to send it and not care. If they want to play those games then that reflects poorly on them.

Nice profile pic.....

nice to see you

Thank you and nice to see you too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I'm home first, I text first. I don't see it as being eager. I see it as being polite

"Be confident enough to send it and not care. If they want to play those games then that reflects poorly on them. "

Agree with these.

Can easily spend too much time over thinking and analysing something and nothing. Have done that time and and again to myself .

Do what you feel is right and the rest is up to them to deal with.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't really matter. It's good that you took the bull by the horns OP.

Kinky

Thanks angel I need to stop thinking so much that's half my battle in life I think too much

I have my own theory on that. I think just doing something without thinking can be arrogance. Thinking something through but still doing what is true to yourself is confidence.

Thinking is rarely the problem, not acting is.

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

It's a bloody chicken or the egg question

As long as you don't say you want to move in, have babies and live happily ever after, then I don't see what they problem is

Is actually very refreshing to be contacted first, and bollocks to that hanging on the telephone malarkey

https://youtu.be/uWhkbDMISl8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

I hate sending messages first. I either don't know what to say or I don't want too sound too eager

can't win!

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"If I'm home first, I text first. I don't see it as being eager. I see it as being polite

Be confident enough to send it and not care. If they want to play those games then that reflects poorly on them.

Agree with these.

Can easily spend too much time over thinking and analysing something and nothing. Have done that time and and again to myself .

Do what you feel is right and the rest is up to them to deal with.

Good luck x

Cheers yes I do think too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

usually if I haven't heard from them after a couple of hours, I will text..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't really matter. It's good that you took the bull by the horns OP.

Kinky

Thanks angel I need to stop thinking so much that's half my battle in life I think too much

Play it cool. I am very similar to you in nature though so I totally understand where you are coming from x

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

I'm not sure...why don't we meet, have sex and then when I leave you can text first and I can let you know how it comes across?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

I hate sending messages first. I either don't know what to say or I don't want too sound too eager

can't win!

If I had to go through the whole 'proper dating' thing again I think I'd just be up front and say 'I don't know all the rules and etiquette of all this and I don't want to appear over eager but I had a really good time tonight and it would be great to see you again'

I can't be doing with all these games and holding off waiting for the right moment and not a moment too soon or a moment too late bobbins. As long as you're not stalkery and politely let people know you enjoyed their company what's the issue? We're all adults yes?

(You can tell it's been a LONG time since my dating days, right!?

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never text first after a date. If a guy's interested he will text

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I have always text when I got home and thanked them for a great evening or weekend, nothing too heavy, just a polite thanks etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"usually if I haven't heard from them after a couple of hours, I will text.."

A couple of hours? I wait a couple of days, then think they weren't that interested in me and forget about them.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

which doesn't take much

I'm not sure...why don't we meet, have sex and then when I leave you can text first and I can let you know how it comes across?

Lol

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By *ecretpassion100Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Ok so fab is no dating site as we all know .. most just fuck and go and thats all cool but as for text message etc i would of swapped fab profiles and gone from there .. but more flirting then your halfway there xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Story of my life is coming on too strong when I like someone. I can't help it, I rarely fancy anyone whilst also liking their personality so when it happens I want to tell them that I like them.

Haven't dated for ages but next time I'm starting to date someone I'm gonna be breezy as anything and let them initiate everything.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well, if i like them i will message. If they dont respond i take it the feeling isnt mutual.

One guy text me about a minute after i left him which was odd.

But if ive travelled i will text to say im home or leave it a day or so if i havent.

But depends on circumstances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

I'd see your text as polite and a sign you liked me. Which would be great of course! Personally I'd text back and if you haven't had a text back I would read that as rude and as a person giving the cold shoulder. You've been nice. If a guy can't be nice back there are plenty more of us guys who'd be only too happy to date you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always like it made absolutely clear, prior to meeting, who will text who first after meeting, and what the time scale will be for that text to materialise. If the person suggested they would text first, 30 minutes after the meet, then I'd assume they were a man pretending to be a woman who was only interested in sending cock/sky remote pics.

Obviously I'm joking. For me this seems really, really juvenile. If I had a meet and then found a forum post about apres texts. I would run for the hills and block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After a Fab date I'll tend to send a quick text when I get home. Sometimes I get in first, other times they've already messaged.

I don't think it matters so much these days with all this equality

If someone messaged me quickly I wouldn't think it was over eager - it's just being polite isn't it?

Fook knows

I'm useless when it comes to these things

i will send my number and you can text me as much as u like lol

Haha your very own stalker

Ha! You're welcome to stalk me any day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never thought about it. I often text first. ..normally to say I'm home and thanks for a nice evening. I don't think it appears eager. I can certainly never be accused of that

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By *ife adventurerMan
over a year ago

North Essex

Nothing wrong at all with an I'm home safe thanks for meeting / a great time message.

As others have said I'll send as a response or first if circumstances allow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I'm home first, I text first. I don't see it as being eager. I see it as being polite

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dude, I'm sure we've had this conversation before.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I always like it made absolutely clear, prior to meeting, who will text who first after meeting, and what the time scale will be for that text to materialise. If the person suggested they would text first, 30 minutes after the meet, then I'd assume they were a man pretending to be a woman who was only interested in sending cock/sky remote pics.

Obviously I'm joking. For me this seems really, really juvenile. If I had a meet and then found a forum post about apres texts. I would run for the hills and block."

Who says it's got anything to do with fab

it was just a question

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Are you supposed to text and say Thankyou?

My etiquite is shocking. I normally ask when round 2 is

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By *hunkyThighsMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

It's just polite to text to say thanks and that you've just got home etc.

It may come across eager but I'm not going to apologise for having manners.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When did you text him. How soon after the meet and how many daus ago

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

which doesn't take much

Yeah, I've been blown out for not texting every 5 mins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no set rules anyway, but I would always play it cool and wait a little.

But what the fuck would I know anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just polite to text to say thanks and that you've just got home etc.

It may come across eager but I'm not going to apologise for having manners. "

But if they don't care that you've just got home, the text will come across as irritating and as though you're forcing their hand

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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

which doesn't take much

There is no harm or over eagerness in texting first to say that you've enjoyed your evening with someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

I hate sending messages first. I either don't know what to say or I don't want too sound too eager

can't win!

(You can tell it's been a LONG time since my dating days, right!?

See I wouldn't even think of writing that lol! I'm pretty shit at all the flirting and dating malarkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's usually the man but I certainly wouldn't be put off by a woman taking the lead in face if find it sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really baffled by this thread. I've never put much stock in to 'who messages who' first. It's just about being polite to me. Also a way to let them know I got back safely. Never saw it as coming across as too keen, and their reaction to me texting them, has never caused me to suspect that they think I'm too keen either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm really baffled by this thread. I've never put much stock in to 'who messages who' first. It's just about being polite to me. Also a way to let them know I got back safely. Never saw it as coming across as too keen, and their reaction to me texting them, has never caused me to suspect that they think I'm too keen either. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a meet it doesn't cross my mind to text, I usually say goodbye with comments that I'd send in a text, so to then send a text would seem pretty pointless to me.

However, when it comes to further conversation after meeting them, so maybe the next day or a few days later, I very rarely text as I think maybe that's it, maybe it was a meet and they're done. But I don't not want to talk to them and don't not message because I think I'm being eager, I think maybe they don't want to talk now so I leave it up to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

Bull- it's simple- JFDI!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't be arsed playing mind games so I just text when I can to say thanks for a lovely night....

If that makes me sound too keen then so be it. I think it makes me sound like an adult who has a good night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

No not at all just good manners well done you

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I like to get in there first with a simple message. I'd hate to think that the guy thinks they have to do all the 'chasing' so to speak. Something like 'Thanks for a lovely evening, if you'd like to get together again then let me know ' kind of thing. It's 2016 after all

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Don't worry I often baffle myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry I often baffle myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Huh. I'm so glad I never had to date much.

I just text or call people when I want to. I think I called Marc the day after our first date. I knew I liked him and he knew fairly quickly, too.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

between meets my correspondence is on here..ill text when i get to an arranged meeting point. or if i'm delayed. they do too.

i send a message on here when i get home.

they text and message accordingly or, when they like x

but only a very few have my number anyway

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

[Removed by poster at 01/11/16 16:58:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see it as opening the door for round 2...

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

[Removed by poster at 01/11/16 16:58:57]

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I really like it when a guy says 'Please text me to say you have gotten home safely'......... other than that I nearly always leave it to him, I prefer being pursued!

But if I want to connect sooner or I have something to say I'll just say it, I can't bear any pissing about playing games over texting, I'd rather we both relate as it comes naturally!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

No it doesn't come across as to eager,if you had a lovely time then why not tell him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never really give the whole who text first thing much thought. If I've enjoy the pleasure of someone's company I think it only right that I drop them a wee text to thank them for being a lovely/wonderful companion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll always text first, it's just good manners and politeness I think.

Saying that though, my record with dating is rubbish as shown last week when my date was put off by me turning up with a single rose for her. Apparently it was "too nice and a turn off"

Ah well

Don't give it a second thought as some people just aren't the flowers, chocolates or gift sorta people. Maybe the person in question prefers the 'treat em mean, keep em keen approach'. I've been meeting someone on a weekly basis for a good number of months, he always brings flowers or chocolates or some sort of small gift. To me it's his way of expressing himself. If giving flowers or the like is what you like doing be true to yourself and carry on regardless, if the person doesn't like it then it's up to them whether they accept or reject them.

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish

which doesn't take much

"
I don't think it really matters who txs first,its nice to give and receive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've discussed this before with my female friends who date. I am generalising but men often like to play the cool card and not text too quickly. I expect he will text when he gets chance. It's a fine balance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't text. I take "playing it cool" to extremes, quite unintentionally though. My social skills are a bit shite these days.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

[Removed by poster at 01/11/16 18:38:57]

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

which doesn't take much

No, that sounds normal to me.

(although that too doesn't say much

)

We tend to send a ty PM when we get back to some Wi-Fi, along with the veri. Our playphone only gets turned on before a meet, and off once we spot each other. This does mean that sometimes we have discovered a post-meet text months later, which must make us look extremely rude

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have any kind of hard and fast rule. I'll proactively text anyone, unless I get the impression I'm always the one making first contact and then I take the hint.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I don't have rules, apart from being respectful. There's never any harm in letting someone know that you enjoyed yourself

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

If it's a social meet I'll text to confirm it went well or otherwise.

If it's a play meet I'll text to say I'm home and thanks for a great time. I prefer to meet fab friends I know so the text etiquette isn't really important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (female) probably wouldnt text at all, my partner (male) would probably text a thank you first.

I think it's just different outlooks, and realise its different for couples than singles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't text. I take "playing it cool" to extremes, quite unintentionally though. My social skills are a bit shite these days."

That's me too,not great but just who i am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always text the lady first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say just text/communicate however you feel!

Doing what you want has the advantage of helping you stand out - imagine if everyone else this person is talking to was also 'playing it cool' - you'd go to the top of the list for appearing so eager and straightforward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

I always make the first text.... really early on like almost afterwards

Has been well recieved thus far, although I am so cute and adorable who couldn't just love me!

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By *corpio67Man
over a year ago

hillingdon

which doesn't take much

I'm too old to comment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

I will text first if I want to meet them again. XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which doesn't take much

I will text first if I want to meet them again. XXX"

So that's why I didn't get a text back! But we reviewed my performance many times during and after!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

which doesn't take much

definitely not being to eager,unless he was still sat opposite you

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I find that sending images of the flower bouquet I want at the simple and quiet wedding ceremonywith 500 guests works for me.

I never hear off the fecker again.

Hope that helps

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I find that sending images of the flower bouquet I want at the simple and quiet wedding ceremonywith 500 guests works for me.

I never hear off the fecker again.

Hope that helps

Apologies. I misunderstood the question!

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