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you woke up as a new superhero

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

whats you super hero name and your powers the funnier the better

i woke up as captain ned (this is scottish chav)i drink a bottle of buckfast and annoy everyone with my nasal chatter and i have the power of asbo's

so whats you super hero name then

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

i think id still be missdynomite and annoy the hell out of people with my BOOM BOX

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

The Green Bottle!

My costume is a soiled pair of worn out corduroys that stink of piss and a dirty T Shirt with 'Choose Life' printed on it.

My accessory; a single green bottle of wine that magically refills!

I wander around town centers calling invisible people cunts and telling timid students waiting at bus stops alone that they are my 'fugggin besdest fuggin mates av eva fuggin had, love yas, both of yas'

Then I fall asleep on a path cuddling my green bottle.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"The Green Bottle!

My costume is a soiled pair of worn out corduroys that stink of piss and a dirty T Shirt with 'Choose Life' printed on it.

My accessory; a single green bottle of wine that magically refills!

I wander around town centers calling invisible people cunts and telling timid students waiting at bus stops alone that they are my 'fugggin besdest fuggin mates av eva fuggin had, love yas, both of yas'

Then I fall asleep on a path cuddling my green bottle."

you on the buckie again s-p-i-d-e-r-m-a-n xx

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"you on the buckie again s-p-i-d-e-r-m-a-n xx"

It's fucking spider-man!!!! AAAHHHHGGGGGGGG!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ringmaster-Meetarman

OMG,,,,its in the spelling... yikes, do I have to exlplain everything!!!!

I'm done here!!!!!!!

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"you on the buckie again s-p-i-d-e-r-m-a-n xx

It's fucking spider-man!!!! AAAHHHHGGGGGGGG!!!!"

try saying that in person, f-i-c-k-l-e-f-u-n-k-s-t-e-r xxx

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I don't understand the question.

I am a superhero, I don't care what the doctor keeps telling me, he's wrong.

Maybe he's a member of the evil VWE Empire who are out to destroy humanity and enslave us all with Sky remote controls....

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"I don't understand the question.

I am a superhero, I don't care what the doctor keeps telling me, he's wrong.

Maybe he's a member of the evil VWE Empire who are out to destroy humanity and enslave us all with Sky remote controls....

"

I want to wake up as one of the tutti frooty boys.... or is that wake up WITH them??

***hmmm, wanders off to ponder which is best (I may be a while)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

V-v-V-v-Viccyboi-boi-boi………. Is…………..Manpurseman……… saviour of small coins

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"V-v-V-v-Viccyboi-boi-boi………. Is…………..Manpurseman……… saviour of small coins "

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"V-v-V-v-Viccyboi-boi-boi………. Is…………..Manpurseman……… saviour of small coins "

the toots are back in town.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

haha pmsl,,,,,the Toots..... priceless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't understand the question.

I am a superhero, I don't care what the doctor keeps telling me, he's wrong.

Maybe he's a member of the evil VWE Empire who are out to destroy humanity and enslave us all with Sky remote controls....

"

Please refrain from making references to Sky remotes

The 'incident' has me scarred for life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG... ..... my eys are watering,,,, and my bladder is about to lose its control ....hhahahahh "The Toots"...... Soapy, Munkie-boa, and V-v-V-v-Viccyboi-boi-boi......

Yikes;;;;; ewwww,,,,,leakage,,,, ewwwww

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"OMG... ..... my eys are watering,,,, and my bladder is about to lose its control ....hhahahahh "The Toots"...... Soapy, Munkie-boa, and V-v-V-v-Viccyboi-boi-boi......

Yikes;;;;; ewwww,,,,,leakage,,,, ewwwww

"

you know you will now have that tooooon and image in your head all day now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

you know you will now have that tooooon and image in your head all day now. "

I know,,,,,,, and unfortunately for some inexplicable reason other than perhaps being best explained by the consequence of simple involuntary word association….. the word Toot has conjured an image of a trumpet to make an appearence in my minds eye

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"

you know you will now have that tooooon and image in your head all day now.

I know,,,,,,, and unfortunately for some inexplicable reason other than perhaps being best explained by the consequence of simple involuntary word association….. the word Toot has conjured an image of a trumpet to make an appearence in my minds eye "

fecking biatchybintyfaaaaannnnnaaaayyy. keyboard is now ruined.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

you know you will now have that tooooon and image in your head all day now.

I know,,,,,,, and unfortunately for some inexplicable reason other than perhaps being best explained by the consequence of simple involuntary word association….. the word Toot has conjured an image of a trumpet to make an appearence in my minds eye

fecking biatchybintyfaaaaannnnnaaaayyy. keyboard is now ruined..... "

Well its not all that bad,,,after-all, Its a shiny trumpet which looks well polished, and it seems like it can play itself..... I tell ya!!!..... its's not as bad it could have been,,,, cudda been a whole lot worse.... cudda been three of-em

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmmm ...... thats odd!!!!,,,,, my dongle seems to be rather warm,,,,,,, I think I need to go dingle-dangle it in a stiff breeze....

hmmmm...... but I'll be back,,,,,although the last time I dangled my Dongle in a breeze,,, this bloke who was just walking his dog.. tripped over and orally impailed himself on my dingle-ing dongle... and it took more than a few goes to to remove it....oh how we struggled and wrestled at it,,,

struth,,,,, the stories I could tell ya of the trouble I cause..... jeezzzzz

later luvies.... xxxxx

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

We are the Unholy Trio!

I told you! Not the tooties ffs!

How can we save the galaxy from the myriad and eldritch forces of evil called the tooties!!!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"We are the Unholy Trio!

I told you! Not the tooties ffs!

How can we save the galaxy from the myriad and eldritch forces of evil called the tooties!!! "

I thought Soxy was a toot as well? He should be! It will stop him mocking us!

The shame of being in a gang called the tootie fruities

If my home boys knew they would drive by and pop a cap in my ass

Oops that sounded fruity didn't it... ah FFS!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I thought Soxy was a toot as well? He should be! It will stop him mocking us!

The shame of being in a gang called the tootie fruities

If my home boys knew they would drive by and pop a cap in my ass

Oops that sounded fruity didn't it... ah FFS!!! "

Oh, Minkie-munky-boa..... I could never live-up to the expectations required for acceptance your lil tootastic gangie-wangy,,,after-all, ya gota be a Toot by nature to be real Toot in name,,,,

....

So, I'm resigned to the fact that I will always seriously lack those credentials,,,,, and I'm sad to say,,,, I cant play the trumpet either

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"We are the Unholy Trio!

I told you! Not the tooties ffs!

How can we save the galaxy from the myriad and eldritch forces of evil called the tooties!!!

I thought Soxy was a toot as well? He should be! It will stop him mocking us!

The shame of being in a gang called the tootie fruities

If my home boys knew they would drive by and pop a cap in my ass

Oops that sounded fruity didn't it... ah FFS!!! "

I'm loosing track myself here, this is how I see it now:

Invictus, The Funkster and Soxy (aka 'Deviant Boy') are the Unholy Trio.

Invictus, The Funkster and The Soapster are the Tootie Fruities.

...maybe they cross over somehow in a sort of deviant cross pollination type thingy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are the Unholy Trio!

I told you! Not the tooties ffs!

How can we save the galaxy from the myriad and eldritch forces of evil called the tooties!!!

I thought Soxy was a toot as well? He should be! It will stop him mocking us!

The shame of being in a gang called the tootie fruities

If my home boys knew they would drive by and pop a cap in my ass

Oops that sounded fruity didn't it... ah FFS!!!

I'm loosing track myself here, this is how I see it now:

Invictus, The Funkster and Soxy (aka 'Deviant Boy') are the Unholy Trio.

Invictus, The Funkster and The Soapster are the Tootie Fruities.

...maybe they cross over somehow in a sort of deviant cross pollination type thingy.... "

FFs V-v-V-v-viccyboi-boi-boi

Me.... eh.....in a gang,,,,,,eh!!!! I'll have you know,,,, you'd never catch me doing anything of such a suggestion….

And as for crossovers of a half way nature.... the very thought of it!!!!....crossing over from this side, to that.... ewwww OMG...man, its unthinkable....

and I am unanimous in that !!!!! so stick that in your teacup and stir it to the left….

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"We are the Unholy Trio!

I told you! Not the tooties ffs!

How can we save the galaxy from the myriad and eldritch forces of evil called the tooties!!!

I thought Soxy was a toot as well? He should be! It will stop him mocking us!

The shame of being in a gang called the tootie fruities

If my home boys knew they would drive by and pop a cap in my ass

Oops that sounded fruity didn't it... ah FFS!!!

I'm loosing track myself here, this is how I see it now:

Invictus, The Funkster and Soxy (aka 'Deviant Boy') are the Unholy Trio.

Invictus, The Funkster and The Soapster are the Tootie Fruities.

...maybe they cross over somehow in a sort of deviant cross pollination type thingy....

FFs V-v-V-v-viccyboi-boi-boi

Me.... eh.....in a gang,,,,,,eh!!!! I'll have you know,,,, you'd never catch me doing anything of such a suggestion….

And as for crossovers of a half way nature.... the very thought of it!!!!....crossing over from this side, to that.... ewwww OMG...man, its unthinkable....

and I am unanimous in that !!!!! so stick that in your teacup and stir it to the left….

"

Hey! I'm in charge of the cliques around here buddy!

I'll tell you when your not in it any more.

...a coin pouch is issued to every member of the Unholy Trio to put on their Futility Belt. Yours has sequins.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

ffs, I went for a lie down in a darkened room to get these images out my head. Come back and you eejits have sent me off on one again.

Suxy, you are on my side now. together we can banish these evil deviant fruits!!! xxx

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"ffs, I went for a lie down in a darkened room to get these images out my head. Come back and you eejits have sent me off on one again.

Suxy, you are on my side now. together we can banish these evil deviant fruits!!! xxx"

Splitter!!!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

God it's so complicated maintaining memberships to all the cliques.

I suppose it's like Spider-Man when he was in The Defenders and The Avengers at the same time. Only slightly camper with his bottom out.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"The Green Bottle!

My costume is a soiled pair of worn out corduroys that stink of piss and a dirty T Shirt with 'Choose Life' printed on it.

My accessory; a single green bottle of wine that magically refills!

I wander around town centers calling invisible people cunts and telling timid students waiting at bus stops alone that they are my 'fugggin besdest fuggin mates av eva fuggin had, love yas, both of yas'

Then I fall asleep on a path cuddling my green bottle."

Oh shit, you've been stalking me & stolen my identity.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"The Green Bottle!

My costume is a soiled pair of worn out corduroys that stink of piss and a dirty T Shirt with 'Choose Life' printed on it.

My accessory; a single green bottle of wine that magically refills!

I wander around town centers calling invisible people cunts and telling timid students waiting at bus stops alone that they are my 'fugggin besdest fuggin mates av eva fuggin had, love yas, both of yas'

Then I fall asleep on a path cuddling my green bottle.

Oh shit, you've been stalking me & stolen my identity. "

I thought I'd seen you in town before. Next time you can have 20p but don't follow me this time okay?

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"The Green Bottle!

My costume is a soiled pair of worn out corduroys that stink of piss and a dirty T Shirt with 'Choose Life' printed on it.

My accessory; a single green bottle of wine that magically refills!

I wander around town centers calling invisible people cunts and telling timid students waiting at bus stops alone that they are my 'fugggin besdest fuggin mates av eva fuggin had, love yas, both of yas'

Then I fall asleep on a path cuddling my green bottle.

Oh shit, you've been stalking me & stolen my identity. "

Shit! I do beg your pardon!

It wasn't intentional but now that you mention it I do see similarities

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ffs, I went for a lie down in a darkened room to get these images out my head. Come back and you eejits have sent me off on one again.

Suxy, you are on my side now. together we can banish these evil deviant fruits!!! xxx"

Yes,,,,,

yep I'm with you all the way,,,,I strongly believe those boys require some firm discipline,,,,, and yes, together we can inflict upon them what they so rightly deserve…..after-all, not only is it our duty,,,,,,, it will be canny easy too …. and even a tad pleasurable,,,, from semi-masochistic point of view

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"ffs, I went for a lie down in a darkened room to get these images out my head. Come back and you eejits have sent me off on one again.

Suxy, you are on my side now. together we can banish these evil deviant fruits!!! xxxYes,,,,,

yep I'm with you all the way,,,,I strongly believe those boys require some firm discipline,,,,, and yes, together we can inflict upon them what they so rightly deserve…..after-all, not only is it our duty,,,,,,, it will be canny easy too …. and even a tad pleasurable,,,, from semi-masochistic point of view

"

You're in league with the Vibratortrons and the evil VWE Empire aren't you?!?!?

I have exposed you at last....eeeewwwww.....I can't look!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're in league with the Vibratortrons and the evil VWE Empire aren't you?!?!?

I have exposed you at last....eeeewwwww.....I can't look!!! "

V-v-V-v-Viccyoi-boi-boi,,,,before you get carried away with ya own trumpet playing there bonny-lad,,,,,,all you've managed to expose is.......... you need more practice

one-nil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id have inflatable boobs that with one click they'd inflate and knock people out haha

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"You're in league with the Vibratortrons and the evil VWE Empire aren't you?!?!?

I have exposed you at last....eeeewwwww.....I can't look!!!

V-v-V-v-Viccyoi-boi-boi,,,,before you get carried away with ya own trumpet playing there bonny-lad,,,,,,all you've managed to expose is.......... you need more practice

one-nil"

You don't fool me with your suave and sophisticated exterior, I know you as my evil Nematoad... Nemasnifs... Nemacist..... Arch Enemy!!

To the Invictobike! Stabilizers on, check. Bell dings, check.

Futility Belt set to kill!! Oh, it only goes to wimper, oh well, check!

I shall have Victory or deeply embarrass myself trying...

To Futility and beyond!!!!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"Id have inflatable boobs that with one click they'd inflate and knock people out haha"

Erm I think you already have those. Only they don't deflate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id have inflatable boobs that with one click they'd inflate and knock people out haha

Erm I think you already have those. Only they don't deflate."

they dont knock people out either unless i jump or turn around a bit too quickly...

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"Id have inflatable boobs that with one click they'd inflate and knock people out haha

Erm I think you already have those. Only they don't deflate.

they dont knock people out either unless i jump or turn around a bit too quickly..."

But will you join me in defeating the Vibratortrons!!! It's only a matter of time before humanity is enslaved by them!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

To Futility and beyond!!!!"

Shouldn't that be ,

To "Fruitility" and beyond..... T-t-T-t-Tootieboi-boi-boi....

Take ten,,,,, take eleven even, you do need some...please.... takes some.... take plenty... plenty.....

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"

To Futility and beyond!!!!

Shouldn't that be ,

To "Fruitility" and beyond..... T-t-T-t-Tootieboi-boi-boi....

Take ten,,,,, take eleven even, you do need some...please.... takes some.... take plenty... plenty.....

"

It's 42, the secret number is 42.

.....oh bollox.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Puts a new slant on tooting your horn, i suppose.

Altogether now :

If your Viccy and you know it Toot yer horn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need a superhero, just back from a night in hospital, I have sciatica and I am in extreme pain. can't think straight right now.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"

Puts a new slant on tooting your horn, i suppose.

Altogether now :

If your Viccy and you know it Toot yer horn"

Don't you start ya bugger!!

... toot... toot.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"I need a superhero, just back from a night in hospital, I have sciatica and I am in extreme pain. can't think straight right now. "

Ouch that can be bad, hope you're feeling better soon.

My Dad had it and they put mind bending drugs up his bottom

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