FabSwingers.com forum: Verifications...

By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm thinking out loud again! Sorry about that!

I like my privacy. I'm not that good with verifications, I don't use them to decide whether I'll meet someone or not, I'm not really that interested in other people's reviews, I have a mind of my own and generally I trust my instincts. I don't really like giving verifications.

I don't think other people need to know who I'm having sex with. Lists of verifications on a profile kinda make me cringe a bit. I don't really like it. I know it's personal and each to their own and all that but I feel a bit bad not giving them back when people write nice things about me but it makes me feel worse when I see my name on someone's profile like a notch on a bedpost so I just don't do it.

I show one of mine (mainly cause it made me smile and it's not graphic) but the rest I have hidden and I've only really verified people I know well.

I like my privacy and I've always believed in discretion when it comes to meeting people so it just doesn't sit right with me to broadcast who I'm having sex with. It's not that I have anything to hide, I just don't feel like it's anyone else's business.

I think I'm probably in the minority with this from what I read about the moans on the no shows in the forums but I've never had someone not turn up.

Why are verifications so important to you?

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By *rs Sugar Mr SpiceCouple
over a year ago

We are about 15 mins outa Pontypridd and we do go to Crawley in west sussex 2-3 times a year so get in touch !!

Ultimatly it seperates the gen ppl from the fakes and thats the main thing coz there are way 2 many timewasters and fakes on ere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never read them on other people's profiles as I feel the same way you do.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Ultimatly it seperates the gen ppl from the fakes and thats the main thing coz there are way 2 many timewasters and fakes on ere "

Just because someone is real and been verified, it doesn't mean they're gonna turn up on the night they've arranged to meet you though.

So you need one verification that says you're genuine. Surely that's all you need? Or is the list of references appealing in a skills sort of way?

~author curious~

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont understand how it can seperate the gen ppl on here actually im not going to write anymore and just stick to the way i think easier that way

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"i dont understand how it can seperate the gen ppl on here actually im not going to write anymore and just stick to the way i think easier that way "

Ooooh I'm sticking with the way I think too! But I like to hear what other people think if you feel the urge to share... please do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel real enough!

Different strokes for different folks.

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By *azmissy67Woman
over a year ago

welshpool area

Personally i think if someone has taken the trouble to write something nice about me i think i should show it and would feel guilty if i removed it - just think of me as a bitch with a heart hehe x

I enjoy reading the vertifications on other ppls profiles but its also interesting reading the verification the other person gives - sometimes it tells a very different story lol x

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I'm thinking out loud again! Sorry about that!

I show one of mine (mainly cause it made me smile and it's not graphic) but the rest I have hidden and I've only really verified people I know well.

I think I'm probably in the minority with this from what I read about the moans on the no shows in the forums but I've never had someone not turn up.

Why are verifications so important to you?"

for me they are not....

for me the whole point of verification is that they were who they said they were and they turned up..... nothing more

I hate the whole "play by play" account that some people do... I don't want to know what you got up to, and I almost see it as having a lack of discretion and bragging about what they did...

I only show general ones.. if they are too graphic then I don't show them... simple as

I actually wish that Fabswingers would just put up some general statements and let people tick those to verify, because at that point it would stop people trying to "one up" others.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i dont understand how it can seperate the gen ppl on here actually im not going to write anymore and just stick to the way i think easier that way

Ooooh I'm sticking with the way I think too! But I like to hear what other people think if you feel the urge to share... please do!

you hit nail on head with what you said just because someone is verified by 1 person doesnt mean they going to be the same for another .I have lots of verifacations i dont show them i like people to make up their own minds about me the same way i do about them .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with you, DirtyGirl. I don't read them (I use my own judgement), too many would put me off, graphic ones are just horrible, and I would rather not leave them.

But other people seem to think they're really important. Each to their own, I guess.

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By *hiz2112Man
over a year ago

south wales and gloucestershire

i never show my verifacations as its private,i hide them aswell cause people were emailing me and asking what the people who vertifed me were like,so if they cant see them they cant ask!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Im with DG in that ill always make my own mind up about people without the need for verifications

I don't show mine because I feel its my business only who I meet and if someone wants to meet us then they should be able to work out that we're ok people by chatting and not reading what others have said about us

I have my own thoughts about the people that use other peoples veris and friends lists in a more sinister way on here but im gonna keep my gob shut about that!

I do understand though how people need to use the system in their own way to try and make it easier for them so I do leave verifications for some people but they're never graphic,they're just general view of what I thought they were like,and sometimes they're just a piss take funny type of verification just for the fun of it

The fact that I don't have any on show has never been a problem to anyone that has contacted us and if people really don't like those that don't show them for for fear they have something to hide or because they can't cross reference them won't contact us anyway

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The fact that I don't have any on show has never been a problem to anyone that has contacted us "

Sorry for snipping your post Honey but that pretty much covers it for me too. I don't usually have any on show and the one I do have is deliberate but prior to that, I've never been questioned and it's never been a problem for me to not show them in arranging a meet.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Yeah I agree with you too dirty girl I only have two verification on show on my profile and they are both from two people I have completly connected with on a personal level as well as a sexual one.

At the end of the day one persons opinion of someone isnt always gonna be the same as your own and im not really intrested in who shagged who when and where lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think there are 2 different kind of verifications.There are the Kind that tell you in a i think open way example"was a great fuck and gave a great B/J"maybe true but not very nice and then there is the one that said"Had a Great time great company and the Bedroom skills where Brilliant" sounds a lot better i think.And them i the kind i like to read.But again that is my personal Opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i do look at them and think they are a useful tool in decision making.

however, just to add another dimension to this discussion, do you think there comes a point where TOO MANY verifications can be offputting ?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

The fact that I don't have any on show has never been a problem to anyone that has contacted us

can i just interject on that point... I think it can be different for couples and single ladies than it could be for single men just because of the numbers...

for example, how many times have we heard suspicions and had threads about single guys just because they don't show verifications??...

how many times have we heard people say they would choose people who show verifications over those who don't?

the problem isn't verifications or how many one has as such, it is the graphic nature and "TMI" of some for me that make me really really cringe.....

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By *rs Sugar Mr SpiceCouple
over a year ago

We are about 15 mins outa Pontypridd and we do go to Crawley in west sussex 2-3 times a year so get in touch !!

"i dont understand how it can seperate the gen ppl on here actually im not going to write anymore and just stick to the way i think easier that way

Ooooh I'm sticking with the way I think too! But I like to hear what other people think if you feel the urge to share... please do!

I think your missing the point ,one varifycation means naff all ,in fact it is highly poss that the vari has been made by the same person who as been varied by having 2 fab accounts ,but being varied by numerous diferent ppl lets you know at least that they are genuine and have played with others and i think on the whole spectrum of things that varies are a good thing for most of the fabsters rather than not a good thin as there are 1000s ov profiles on ere that state that u need to be varied for any sort of response ,so varies get a thumbs up from us because without them we would not have as much luck as we av

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i do look at them and think they are a useful tool in decision making.

however, just to add another dimension to this discussion, do you think there comes a point where TOO MANY verifications can be offputting ?"
to many verifications dont really bother me but if i see lots of pics playing with no Protection that is a deffo a no go.And so is then everybody else on that verification list as you never know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ultimatly it seperates the gen ppl from the fakes and thats the main thing coz there are way 2 many timewasters and fakes on ere "

How does it do that then? I've lost count of the amount of whinging threads written by people who've been stood up - all with the immortal line - "and they were verified!"

Verifications don't mean a person will turn up and having none doesn't make the person a fake. Most of my meets haven't been verified and I didn't leave a verification even after years of meeting.

There's no substitute for your own common sense and intuition. I believe there is always a clue, but people tend to ignore their own gut instincts.

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By *rs Sugar Mr SpiceCouple
over a year ago

We are about 15 mins outa Pontypridd and we do go to Crawley in west sussex 2-3 times a year so get in touch !!

"Ultimatly it seperates the gen ppl from the fakes and thats the main thing coz there are way 2 many timewasters and fakes on ere

How does it do that then? I've lost count of the amount of whinging threads written by people who've been stood up - all with the immortal line - "and they were verified!"

Verifications don't mean a person will turn up and having none doesn't make the person a fake. Most of my meets haven't been verified and I didn't leave a verification even after years of meeting.

There's no substitute for your own common sense and intuition. I believe there is always a clue, but people tend to ignore their own gut instincts."

Well we would go as far to say that you are in the minority as there are ppl on ere crying out for varis by cam,fone or otherwise as they are not gatting any luck at all without them and weve noticed after 4 yrs ov being on fab that the overall magority of ppl would say that they are a good thing ,why else would fab make previsions for ppl to write varies if they are no use it wouldent be cause the magority agrees with you now would it and as in everything ,the magority always wins ,we just think that meeting ppl wiout could put you in dangerouse predicaments and wen some1 who is varied catches your eye at least you can say that they seem ok and gen rather than ppl wiout ,Obviously!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

and there you unwitting describe the problem....

so people are viewed with suspicion if they hide them all.....

.... and people who only show 1 or 2 are viewed with suspicion.....

.... so what choice do people have...sometimes you just can't win!!!

or maybe that says more about other people than it does being comfortable enough in yourself not to fall for the peer pressure...

I actually agonised a lot over whether to show mine or not... I was in the "i'm not showing mine" camp for a long while.... because I went to socials I was lucky enough to be known to a lot of people anyway...

I eventually decided to show "some" of mine.. just so people knew I was who I said I was... I don't show anything graphic or write anything graphic because frankly what I do or get up to is no one elses business....

I'd be all in favour of taking that out of peoples hands... and the site putting up various non graphic statements for you to tick to varify, i think people would then be a lot happier knowing that everyone was then using it the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have some verifications showing on our profile, mainly because I feel that if someone has taken the time to write one, then ill show it, unless it was graphic.

I can't stand the underhand way veris are used though. All this going into the verifiers profile and checking them out, the using veris to try and point score on a forum post, ie if I was to say I don't meet smokers and people going through profiles to try and find a link somewhere to a smoker and bringing it up in a forum post, or the constant re-verifying a fave single male to let other single women know that you're his fave and he keeps meeting you - we all know this rubbish goes on.

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

"i think there are 2 different kind of verifications.There are the Kind that tell you in a i think open way example"was a great fuck and gave a great B/J"maybe true but not very nice and then there is the one that said"Had a Great time great company and the Bedroom skills where Brilliant" sounds a lot better i think.And them i the kind i like to read.But again that is my personal Opinion"

Yes I quite agree, there is nothing worse than when they go into great detail, doing a Alan Hansen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was meeting, I was looking to play with people that appealed to ME! As I've said many times on these forums, I don't know any of you, you're all strangers to me, so why on earth would I care or take into account what anyone of you had to say about another total stranger to me?!!

I appreciate that not everyone has a mind of their own and need total strangers to validate their decisions: I don't!

In four years I never had a timewaster or no show: it worked for me, but we all have to find our own way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have some verifications showing on our profile, mainly because I feel that if someone has taken the time to write one, then ill show it, unless it was graphic.

Oh indeed Iconic, ooh indeed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love reading verifications... It helps me find genuine nutters/loons to play with

Like-minded people and all that

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I show some of the less grahic and hide others. It's a bit of a no win situation sometimes as a single male as Fabio rightly says, too many and you get judged, non and you're not to be trusted a couple and your not experienced enough.

I do glance at them for potential meets but I never decide on them alone of give them too much weight.

I do hate it when people look at them and cross reference them accross the whole site and then declare 'I would never meet you as you met whatsisname who once met thingy and then met auntie Doris who once said she shagged goats'

I nearly hid all mine recently after being trolled by someone who hinted at dark and unpleasant knowledge about me, but then I thought sod 'em, I've got nothing to hide or be ashamed about (maybe the chicken thing

) and came to the conclusion I shall use the site tools as I want to and as they work best for me.

So do as you will with them and don't let others effect your own decisions I would say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking entirely from my own perspective,,,,,, having tried the various methods of either openly displaying or hiding some or all my verifications , I can honestly say , either method made not one jot of difference to the volume of interest generated in my profile or indeed the amount of successful meets I subsequently get….

I now elect not to display any, solely for the purpose that it is apparent from the vast majority of mail I receive the sender has rarely fully read the textual body of my profile anyway….

So adding to its girth by including references could therefore possibly further detract from a willingness to do so… or indeed could even perhaps put them off reading it altogether, as I must confess I have found myself loosing the will to read some profiles after coming a cross ones that are so long they resemble the closing credits of Lord of the Rings ..

I do like Fabios suggestion of a site generated verification tick list, I think as an option it would work well in conjunction with what options are presently available..

Okies…Nuff-said

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By *acktilMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

I tend to show a few, maximum of 4. Not always the most recent more the ones from very memorable meets. Never really play the follow the link game when arranging meets and often think about removing them.

Hoever, as a single guy on a site where there are a lot of time wasters, it's a good way to stand out from the crown.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oop's..... I must add, I dont judge pospective meets as being suitable for me by their varifications,,,

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We make our own minds up about people with or without verifications.......and we like to hear from people who have the same mindset

Verifications for us are not important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mine are there to show that i exist and i look at others in the same way. I do meet people that are not verified as well though and gut instink as only let me down a couple of times

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

all mine say I am mental or mad.... nuff said!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I really can't see the point of is those profiles that say:

Don't have any veris on here but here are a selection of comments that others on another site said about me .......

Then you get a fantastically elaborate detailed paragraph of how good looking they are, how talented, huge cock or strawberry gateux tasting pussy, how you possibly can't afford to let this person pass by as they are the best human being on the planet .....

If they are that good how come they don't stay on that other site then, if they were that revered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had some great verifications, then I hide them. I dont want others to influence what you may think of me. Meet Me and make up your own mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I jumped through the verification hoop and it never made a blind bit of difference. I think trust comes from getting to know people and then from meets. I get a sense there is an ‘in crowd’ in all this. Guess you have to find a way of getting inside the ‘in crowd’; this is starting to sound like it could burst in to a song (;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My verifications are for my own enjoyment and they have been hidden from Day 1.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being a bi male i dont tend to get many verifications returned as many of the males or the male halves of the couples have got straight male on their profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/10/11 02:19:10]

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

As a single woman who chooses to meet at her home. I use varies methods to select a guy and the verification system is one way that i use

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By *lack_BoltMan
over a year ago

oxford

You can't win with this really. I have been criticized for not showing my most recent verification, and the lady concerned was quite off about it. As if she had the right to dictate to me what I can and cannot show.

Surely if you like someone a verification might add something to the mix, but is never a deal breaker as far as I'm concerned. It's just another way of making choices surely?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

At the end of the day people have there own choice whether to display verifications or ot. Those that dont dont display and those that do just carry on displaying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single woman who chooses to meet at her home. I use varies methods to select a guy and the verification system is one way that i use"

Thank you, thats logical, im not buying this "i choose to hide them" by my fellow solo male.

That can be seen as said before, yer mate sent you a made up veri just to appear more genuine with the green tick (a timewasters trick) or maybe your an undecided swinger who really holds who you met kinda precious and dont want to advertise who you met?

or might you be ashamed of showing who you met?

Or are there so many you fear being judged by that statistic?

I get some feel its a type of bragging, playground mentality, a "look who i met" thing.

Mine are there to simply state im a swinger and i meet other swingers.

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