FabSwingers.com forum: Social meetings. A Markoh specific Health Warning………

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If any of you are *daft/d*unk/desperate/blind/doing it for a bet, enough to meet me there are a few things you’ll need to consider.

*delete as applicable.

You have been warned………

I do social meets.

I do social meets after “chatting”, either onsite, Kik, off site email or phone.

My social meets come with no obligation or expectation of “play”. Let’s see if the attraction of the chat is enough to meet again, establish rapport, trust and a mutual desire. The question will always be; “do we want to meet again?”. There’s no rush.

And if we don’t, that’s perfectly fine, I’ll just cry the salty tears of despair alone in my room.

Again.

However, a meet could in the right circumstances move to play. Obvs. (I’m not effing stupid) Insert smiley emoji here.

Which leads me nicely into my personal health warning……

I’m reasonably comfortable in a wide variety of situations, so not really fussed where we meet or what we do. Drinks, lunch, dinner etc., all very happy.

I’ll sit and chat about anything, I’m relaxed and chilled out, open and easy going.

Unless…………...

Unless I’m really attracted to you.

In which case I’ll become a rambling, gibbering, inept, gormless, clumsy buffoon.

I’ll fill the spaces with inane conversation and really witty (not) anecdotes.

I’m likely to get my mucking furds wuddled.

I’ll use the wrong cutlery.

I’ll knock stuff over. (Never EVER order red wine)

I’ll forget the social proprietaries regarding wine etiquette.

I’m likely to become socially inept, an embarrassment.

I’ll probably be quiet and let you chat, you’ll mistake this for my disinterest.

There’s a distinct possibility our waiter will think you’re my carer.

The people around us may look at you with sympathy and pity in their eyes.

In essence, the complete opposite of the confident attractive (pahahahahahahahah) man you were first attracted to.

Just putting that out there, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Must go, I’ve got a few profiles to message………………

PS; if you’re doing it for a bet, let me save you the horror, just say we met and I’ll cover your lie by crafting you a beautifully emotive veri. Trust me, you’ll thank me in the long run…………

Editor’s note; some, none or all of the foregoing may or may not be true.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

Love it lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it ...

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

PS makes a change from the blatant look at me threads and no I haven't looked xx

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

You sound quite cute tbh

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

Bit late for the warning!!!

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

What time?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What time?

Please refer yourself to the list of options.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bit late for the warning!!!

Explains a lot though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You sound quite cute tbh

I've deliberately left out the bit about being a shit shag. That'll be in part 2....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If any of you are *daft/d*unk/desperate/blind/doing it for a bet, enough to meet me there are a few things you’ll need to consider.

*delete as applicable.

You have been warned………

I do social meets.

I do social meets after “chatting”, either onsite, Kik, off site email or phone.

And if we don’t, that’s perfectly fine, I’ll just cry the salty tears of despair alone in my room.

Again.

However, a meet could in the right circumstances move to play. Obvs. (I’m not effing stupid) Insert smiley emoji here.

Which leads me nicely into my personal health warning……

I’m reasonably comfortable in a wide variety of situations, so not really fussed where we meet or what we do. Drinks, lunch, dinner etc., all very happy.

I’ll sit and chat about anything, I’m relaxed and chilled out, open and easy going.

Unless…………...

Unless I’m really attracted to you.

In which case I’ll become a rambling, gibbering, inept, gormless, clumsy buffoon.

I’ll fill the spaces with inane conversation and really witty (not) anecdotes.

I’m likely to get my mucking furds wuddled.

I’ll use the wrong cutlery.

I’ll knock stuff over. (Never EVER order red wine)

I’ll forget the social proprietaries regarding wine etiquette.

I’m likely to become socially inept, an embarrassment.

I’ll probably be quiet and let you chat, you’ll mistake this for my disinterest.

There’s a distinct possibility our waiter will think you’re my carer.

The people around us may look at you with sympathy and pity in their eyes.

In essence, the complete opposite of the confident attractive (pahahahahahahahah) man you were first attracted to.

Just putting that out there, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Must go, I’ve got a few profiles to message………………

Editor’s note; some, none or all of the foregoing may or may not be true.

You neglected to mention your unhealthy attachment to your settee.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If any of you are *daft/d*unk/desperate/blind/doing it for a bet, enough to meet me there are a few things you’ll need to consider.

*delete as applicable.

You have been warned………

I do social meets.

I do social meets after “chatting”, either onsite, Kik, off site email or phone.

And if we don’t, that’s perfectly fine, I’ll just cry the salty tears of despair alone in my room.

Again.

However, a meet could in the right circumstances move to play. Obvs. (I’m not effing stupid) Insert smiley emoji here.

Which leads me nicely into my personal health warning……

I’m reasonably comfortable in a wide variety of situations, so not really fussed where we meet or what we do. Drinks, lunch, dinner etc., all very happy.

I’ll sit and chat about anything, I’m relaxed and chilled out, open and easy going.

Unless…………...

Unless I’m really attracted to you.

In which case I’ll become a rambling, gibbering, inept, gormless, clumsy buffoon.

I’ll fill the spaces with inane conversation and really witty (not) anecdotes.

I’m likely to get my mucking furds wuddled.

I’ll use the wrong cutlery.

I’ll knock stuff over. (Never EVER order red wine)

I’ll forget the social proprietaries regarding wine etiquette.

I’m likely to become socially inept, an embarrassment.

I’ll probably be quiet and let you chat, you’ll mistake this for my disinterest.

There’s a distinct possibility our waiter will think you’re my carer.

The people around us may look at you with sympathy and pity in their eyes.

In essence, the complete opposite of the confident attractive (pahahahahahahahah) man you were first attracted to.

Just putting that out there, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Must go, I’ve got a few profiles to message………………

Editor’s note; some, none or all of the foregoing may or may not be true.

You neglected to mention your unhealthy attachment to your settee."

That'll be in part 3.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also add that I'll give you your hair back, if they are into that sort of thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also add that I'll give you your hair back, if they are into that sort of thing.

Appreciated.

#truepal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If any of you are *daft/d*unk/desperate/blind/doing it for a bet, enough to meet me there are a few things you’ll need to consider.

*delete as applicable.

You have been warned………

I do social meets.

I do social meets after “chatting”, either onsite, Kik, off site email or phone.

And if we don’t, that’s perfectly fine, I’ll just cry the salty tears of despair alone in my room.

Again.

However, a meet could in the right circumstances move to play. Obvs. (I’m not effing stupid) Insert smiley emoji here.

Which leads me nicely into my personal health warning……

I’m reasonably comfortable in a wide variety of situations, so not really fussed where we meet or what we do. Drinks, lunch, dinner etc., all very happy.

I’ll sit and chat about anything, I’m relaxed and chilled out, open and easy going.

Unless…………...

Unless I’m really attracted to you.

In which case I’ll become a rambling, gibbering, inept, gormless, clumsy buffoon.

I’ll fill the spaces with inane conversation and really witty (not) anecdotes.

I’m likely to get my mucking furds wuddled.

I’ll use the wrong cutlery.

I’ll knock stuff over. (Never EVER order red wine)

I’ll forget the social proprietaries regarding wine etiquette.

I’m likely to become socially inept, an embarrassment.

I’ll probably be quiet and let you chat, you’ll mistake this for my disinterest.

There’s a distinct possibility our waiter will think you’re my carer.

The people around us may look at you with sympathy and pity in their eyes.

In essence, the complete opposite of the confident attractive (pahahahahahahahah) man you were first attracted to.

Just putting that out there, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Must go, I’ve got a few profiles to message………………

Editor’s note; some, none or all of the foregoing may or may not be true.

You neglected to mention your unhealthy attachment to your settee.

That'll be in part 3.

rolling your fecking eyes at me are ya?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also add that I'll give you your hair back, if they are into that sort of thing.

Appreciated.

#truepal"

Any time. *tips hat*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brill!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If any of you are *daft/d*unk/desperate/blind/doing it for a bet, enough to meet me there are a few things you’ll need to consider.

*delete as applicable.

You have been warned………

I do social meets.

I do social meets after “chatting”, either onsite, Kik, off site email or phone.

And if we don’t, that’s perfectly fine, I’ll just cry the salty tears of despair alone in my room.

Again.

However, a meet could in the right circumstances move to play. Obvs. (I’m not effing stupid) Insert smiley emoji here.

Which leads me nicely into my personal health warning……

I’m reasonably comfortable in a wide variety of situations, so not really fussed where we meet or what we do. Drinks, lunch, dinner etc., all very happy.

I’ll sit and chat about anything, I’m relaxed and chilled out, open and easy going.

Unless…………...

Unless I’m really attracted to you.

In which case I’ll become a rambling, gibbering, inept, gormless, clumsy buffoon.

I’ll fill the spaces with inane conversation and really witty (not) anecdotes.

I’m likely to get my mucking furds wuddled.

I’ll use the wrong cutlery.

I’ll knock stuff over. (Never EVER order red wine)

I’ll forget the social proprietaries regarding wine etiquette.

I’m likely to become socially inept, an embarrassment.

I’ll probably be quiet and let you chat, you’ll mistake this for my disinterest.

There’s a distinct possibility our waiter will think you’re my carer.

The people around us may look at you with sympathy and pity in their eyes.

In essence, the complete opposite of the confident attractive (pahahahahahahahah) man you were first attracted to.

Just putting that out there, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Must go, I’ve got a few profiles to message………………

Editor’s note; some, none or all of the foregoing may or may not be true.

You neglected to mention your unhealthy attachment to your settee.

That'll be in part 3.

rolling your fecking eyes at me are ya? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pfft this is just a look at me thread innit!?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm"

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pfft this is just a look at me thread innit!?

Nooooooooooooow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll probably be quiet and let you chat, you’ll mistake this for my disinterest."

I can relate to this! It's a curse!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

6 people today have viewed my profile, not one PM.

Looks like everyone's heeding the warning.

*wonders......

Could Tina do insurance for this?

*rubs chin...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

Fibber

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"If any of you are *daft/d*unk/desperate/blind/doing it for a bet, enough to meet me there are a few things you’ll need to consider.

*delete as applicable.

You have been warned………

I do social meets.

I do social meets after “chatting”, either onsite, Kik, off site email or phone.

And if we don’t, that’s perfectly fine, I’ll just cry the salty tears of despair alone in my room.

Again.

However, a meet could in the right circumstances move to play. Obvs. (I’m not effing stupid) Insert smiley emoji here.

Which leads me nicely into my personal health warning……

I’m reasonably comfortable in a wide variety of situations, so not really fussed where we meet or what we do. Drinks, lunch, dinner etc., all very happy.

I’ll sit and chat about anything, I’m relaxed and chilled out, open and easy going.

Unless…………...

Unless I’m really attracted to you.

In which case I’ll become a rambling, gibbering, inept, gormless, clumsy buffoon.

I’ll fill the spaces with inane conversation and really witty (not) anecdotes.

I’m likely to get my mucking furds wuddled.

I’ll use the wrong cutlery.

I’ll knock stuff over. (Never EVER order red wine)

I’ll forget the social proprietaries regarding wine etiquette.

I’m likely to become socially inept, an embarrassment.

I’ll probably be quiet and let you chat, you’ll mistake this for my disinterest.

There’s a distinct possibility our waiter will think you’re my carer.

The people around us may look at you with sympathy and pity in their eyes.

In essence, the complete opposite of the confident attractive (pahahahahahahahah) man you were first attracted to.

Just putting that out there, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Must go, I’ve got a few profiles to message………………

Editor’s note; some, none or all of the foregoing may or may not be true.

Wow an honest message from a single guy who'da thunk it

Very funny Markoh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To long. Isn't there a short version?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"To long. Isn't there a short version?

Yep.......

Markoh is a funny fun guy....

There you go

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

[Removed by poster at 31/10/16 14:27:38]

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

Brilliant !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Original and funny made me smile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why is no one taking this seriously.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is no one taking this seriously.......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man."

OK, I'll rephrase.....

I was surrounded by others with more hair than me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm"

Hold the feck on, I've never met you Tink.......

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By *ureTemptationWoman
over a year ago

Off the grid

I was going to say, I bet there's a few women out there reading this who are gutted you seemed utterly confident, together and charming when they met you!

It is universal I think, I'm just as bad when I do socials.

What is the evolutionary function of turning into a total idiot around someone you fancy though?

It's a wonder how the human race keeps going.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Baa Baa... It's LAMming season again.

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple
over a year ago

home sweet home

Markoh. That too long to read. Can you summarize? Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man.

OK, I'll rephrase.....

I was surrounded by others with more hair than me.

I have enough hair for the both of us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man.

OK, I'll rephrase.....

I was surrounded by others with more hair than me.

I have enough hair for the both of us. "

No mate.

I do.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man.

OK, I'll rephrase.....

I was surrounded by others with more hair than me.

I have enough hair for the both of us.

No mate.

I do."

Pffft, the pair of you! If mine was pulled straight, I think you'd find I have more than the pair of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are the funniest( in a good way ) man I know who has the gift of the gab ( in a good way) but I won't say if I think your a good shag or not

....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man.

OK, I'll rephrase.....

I was surrounded by others with more hair than me.

I have enough hair for the both of us.

No mate.

I do.

Pffft, the pair of you! If mine was pulled straight, I think you'd find I have more than the pair of you.

What a strange argument to be having

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are the funniest( in a good way ) man I know who has the gift of the gab ( in a good way) but I won't say if I think your a good shag or not

....

FFS! was he a good shag or not?...the suspense is killing me...

...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man.

OK, I'll rephrase.....

I was surrounded by others with more hair than me.

I have enough hair for the both of us.

No mate.

I do.

Pffft, the pair of you! If mine was pulled straight, I think you'd find I have more than the pair of you.

I can make that happen Lickety.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man.

OK, I'll rephrase.....

I was surrounded by others with more hair than me.

I have enough hair for the both of us.

No mate.

I do.

Pffft, the pair of you! If mine was pulled straight, I think you'd find I have more than the pair of you.

What a strange argument to be having"

We could donate a few strands to the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are the funniest( in a good way ) man I know who has the gift of the gab ( in a good way) but I won't say if I think your a good shag or not

....

FFS! was he a good shag or not?...the suspense is killing me...

...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man.

OK, I'll rephrase.....

I was surrounded by others with more hair than me.

I have enough hair for the both of us.

No mate.

I do.

Pffft, the pair of you! If mine was pulled straight, I think you'd find I have more than the pair of you.

What a strange argument to be having

We could donate a few strands to the OP.

We could make a wig for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you where a perfect, witty gent when we met hmmmmmmmm

My social imperfections were masked by being surrounded by others with more skills than me.

True story.

Entirely not true my good man.

OK, I'll rephrase.....

I was surrounded by others with more hair than me.

I have enough hair for the both of us.

No mate.

I do.

Pffft, the pair of you! If mine was pulled straight, I think you'd find I have more than the pair of you.

What a strange argument to be having

We could donate a few strands to the OP.

I lose a lot of hair everyday.

Always flick it out the window for the birds nests.

Reminds me of Victoria Wood.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

We could donate a few strands to the OP.

I lose a lot of hair everyday.

Always flick it out the window for the birds nests.

Reminds me of Victoria Wood.

I do that too, for the same reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We could donate a few strands to the OP.

I lose a lot of hair everyday.

Always flick it out the window for the birds nests.

Reminds me of Victoria Wood.

I do that too, for the same reason.

You officially rock.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We could donate a few strands to the OP.

I lose a lot of hair everyday.

Always flick it out the window for the birds nests.

Reminds me of Victoria Wood.

I do that too, for the same reason.

Me too!!!!

Oh, hold on......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You are the funniest( in a good way ) man I know who has the gift of the gab ( in a good way) but I won't say if I think your a good shag or not

....

FFS! was he a good shag or not?...the suspense is killing me...

...

Don't even get me started on the ones who make it through the trauma of a meet and make it under the duvet.

They say a sure fire way of getting a woman into bed is with laughter.

In my experience that's when the laughter really starts.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was going to say, I bet there's a few women out there reading this who are gutted you seemed utterly confident, together and charming when they met you!

It is universal I think, I'm just as bad when I do socials.

What is the evolutionary function of turning into a total idiot around someone you fancy though?

It's a wonder how the human race keeps going.

It's a true mystery.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha...are you bored tonight?

You're a great guy and a pleasure to be with and your music taste Rocks x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ha ha...are you bored tonight?

You're a great guy and a pleasure to be with and your music taste Rocks x"

That's awfully nice of you. But you've not experienced the true horror of a Markih social have you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ha ha...are you bored tonight?

You're a great guy and a pleasure to be with and your music taste Rocks x

That's awfully nice of you. But you've not experienced the true horror of a Markih social have you."

See what I mean, I can't even spell me own name...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Ha ha...are you bored tonight?

You're a great guy and a pleasure to be with and your music taste Rocks x

That's awfully nice of you. But you've not experienced the true horror of a Markih social have you."

Who's Markih?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahahahaha the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha...are you bored tonight?

You're a great guy and a pleasure to be with and your music taste Rocks x

That's awfully nice of you. But you've not experienced the true horror of a Markih social have you.

Who's Markih?"

Have you not met him? Great guy, beautiful hair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you sound quite a catch - normal human and all that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ha ha...are you bored tonight?

You're a great guy and a pleasure to be with and your music taste Rocks x

That's awfully nice of you. But you've not experienced the true horror of a Markih social have you.

Who's Markih?"

_/ \_

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you sound quite a catch - normal human and all that

Awesome, fancy a social?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Bit late for the warning!!!

I agree

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Ha ha...are you bored tonight?

You're a great guy and a pleasure to be with and your music taste Rocks x

That's awfully nice of you. But you've not experienced the true horror of a Markih social have you.

Who's Markih?

Have you not met him? Great guy, beautiful hair.

Much like yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you sound quite a catch - normal human and all that

Awesome, fancy a social?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ha ha...are you bored tonight?

You're a great guy and a pleasure to be with and your music taste Rocks x

That's awfully nice of you. But you've not experienced the true horror of a Markih social have you.

Who's Markih?

Have you not met him? Great guy, beautiful hair.

Much like yours

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you sound quite a catch - normal human and all that

Awesome, fancy a social?

It's OK, no need to brace yourself, I read your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you sound quite a catch - normal human and all that

Awesome, fancy a social?

It's OK, no need to brace yourself, I read your profile.

i take it back - not normal at all - you read profiles haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you sound quite a catch - normal human and all that

Awesome, fancy a social?

It's OK, no need to brace yourself, I read your profile.

i take it back - not normal at all - you read profiles haha"

Unique.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's come to my attention that there are a couple of other matters that need mentioning.

I can't see subtle. I'm quite blind to overt too.

And I'm wholly incapable of flirting. It is an art form and skill that sadly passed me by.

Please do not ask me how I now know this.

*hangs head in shame.....

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