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Innuendos

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

Give it to me

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I always thought an innuendo was an Italian suppository...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You want us to give you innuendos?

I'd love to give you one.

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...


"You want us to give you innuendos?

I'd love to give you one."

Yes come at me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Give it to me "

Innuendo? In your endo

Gotta love The Todd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like snatching kisses, and vice versa

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Hello, I'm Julian and this is my friend Sandy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely resort too innuendo although I have been known to slip one in ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You want us to give you innuendos?

I'd love to give you one.

Yes come at me "

I'd cum at you!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

You look like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth, but I'd still like to slip a knob in to see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you coming?"

"No, I'm just breathing faster."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah you're right... I feel like a dick right now

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I'm a fucking genius....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Big Book Of Innuendos

By Ivor Biggun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a cream cake selection box here, can I give you the horn?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

meet me halfway - give it to each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm trying to give them up.

But it's hard...

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

Bring your tools I need drilling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How hard can it be!

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

Dripping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a few in the accountancy world

How about I pencil you in to talk about some double entry?

Or we could discuss the advantages of group relief?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We offer full customer satisfaction with every erection ...... and, we do it in our wellies !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Give it to me "

I can't, I'd love to, but it's really hard right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friend was give some 'hand relief' (moisturising lotion) as a leaving gift from her job.

The younger woman didn't understand why she was laughing so much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At work I have an area call the wet test area.... people tend to get wet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We offer full customer satisfaction with every erection ...... and, we do it in our wellies !

"

Pmsl

I too specialize in providing a sturdy erection for multiple people to work on.....never had a collapse yet!

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

Come to my office, I need you to take a few things down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well have we figured out what we are going to do about the knob interface?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Come to my office, I need you to take a few things down "

Well I usually put things up.....but for you,sure thing!

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...


"We offer full customer satisfaction with every erection ...... and, we do it in our wellies !

"

Waders may be more apt

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...


"Give it to me

I can't, I'd love to, but it's really hard right now. "

Is it getting on top of you?

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"At work I have an area call the wet test area.... people tend to get wet!"

Environmental test is full of such innuendos..

I will slip one in wherever possible..some people make it harder than it need to be but really a good innuendo is just begging for the taking..

My personal fave is-

"vibration needs to be driven into the flange whilst maintaining hot and wet conditions to satisfy the requirement"

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

Could you turn the knob, it should relieve some pressure

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...


"At work I have an area call the wet test area.... people tend to get wet!

Environmental test is full of such innuendos..

I will slip one in wherever possible..some people make it harder than it need to be but really a good innuendo is just begging for the taking..

My personal fave is-

"vibration needs to be driven into the flange whilst maintaining hot and wet conditions to satisfy the requirement""

Oh

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

My inbox is full. I'd better clear my outbox then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something about the new reception is making things much harder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At work I have an area call the wet test area.... people tend to get wet!

Environmental test is full of such innuendos..

I will slip one in wherever possible..some people make it harder than it need to be but really a good innuendo is just begging for the taking..

My personal fave is-

"vibration needs to be driven into the flange whilst maintaining hot and wet conditions to satisfy the requirement""

What sort of flow are we likely to see?

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

I'm going to need you to go deep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That knobs a bit stiff! Mind if I take a look?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I feel a right tit....

Until I swap to the left one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, which box dya want it in???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These holes better get filled!

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Concrete laying;

Need to use a vibrator to get a good finish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes you need to give it a good tug!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you are a model employee, you deserve a Rise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any fanny clamps on my erection have to be nice n tight...for health n safety reasons!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello, I'm Julian and this is my friend Sandy "

Bona at its best!

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Structural Engineers are concerned about the stiffness of their members

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just need you to back up on to here

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Mechanical engineers;

" the shaft is a tight fit"

" lubricate it well and press it in steadily "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn't Queen sing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marks out of ten.....I'd give you one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be careful when bending not to take too much in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always make sure my nuts are sufficiently lubricated before they get tightened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My front opening is blocked could you come in my back entrance please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It should just slide in now....no reason to force it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Marks out of ten.....I'd give you one "

The times I've used that one....

Still makes me chuckle....

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Supposedly complaints sent to landlords by tenants;

"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off."

"I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage."

"Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my fence."

"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off."

"The lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?"

"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."

"I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers."

"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared."

"Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away."

"I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much."

"The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."

"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so will you please send a man round to do something about it."

"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night."

"Please send a man with the proper tools to finish the job and satisfy the wife."

"I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but still have no satisfaction."

"We are getting married in September and would like it in the garden before we move into the house."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Supposedly complaints sent to landlords by tenants;

"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off."

"I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage."

"Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my fence."

"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off."

"The lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?"

"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."

"I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers."

"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared."

"Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away."

"I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much."

"The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."

"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so will you please send a man round to do something about it."

"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night."

"Please send a man with the proper tools to finish the job and satisfy the wife."

"I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but still have no satisfaction."

"We are getting married in September and would like it in the garden before we move into the house.""

Bravo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a great.fan of sexual innuendo....

But every now and then I like to slip one in...

(Mr)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you'd like just to take it up the back alley

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I spend all my working day asking men if they want it through the back doors

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle


"if you'd like just to take it up the back alley "

I actually have a side entrance

Ohhhh matron

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I spend all my working day asking men if they want it through the back doors "

Think we should ask you that!

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

No time for this thread , far too busy filling holes ...... at work

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle


"I spend all my working day asking men if they want it through the back doors

Think we should ask you that! "

I don't mind as long as you're gentle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I spend all my working day asking men if they want it through the back doors

Think we should ask you that!

I don't mind as long as you're gentle "

Well then...... boys.....

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By *azNdavCouple
over a year ago

barnsley

Hello madam I've come to trim your bush.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Give it to me "

This thread is still going strong! Nice one OP, and your innuendos too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I spend all my working day asking men if they want it through the back doors

Think we should ask you that!

I don't mind as long as you're gentle "

Lubricate the docking equipment pronto!

We're on course for a direct collision with Uranus!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the Carry on ...(insert) Film thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just waiting for posts 170+ so I can slip in the bottom

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

You want me to spread it on your baps

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I still have to give you my breakfast sausage from yesterday

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

You want me to pop it in your slot or do you want it round the back

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

I'll just slide this one into your inbox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has anyone said the obvious?

I've got a large package for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a fuck?

Shit that's not an innuendo that's thinking out loud

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

I'll just grease your nipples and adjust the flange

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

Lie back and open wide

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

You'll need a firm grip

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Hi Miss Honey.

Gonna send Justin around in the morning to sort your pipes out, please can you leave the back entrance open as he'll be coming pretty early. You won't even know he's come and gone whilst you're sleeping, he's always hard at it and will consummate his business in a timely fashion, aiming to please as always.

Hope you wake up with a smile on your face knowing the job in hand has has been to your satisfaction and look forward to further communication via the blower.

Yours sincerely,

Ivor Bighorn (head recruiter).

Him

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle


"You want me to pop it in your slot or do you want it round the back "

Can you pop it up the passage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi Miss Honey.

Gonna send Justin around in the morning to sort your pipes out, please can you leave the back entrance open as he'll be coming pretty early. You won't even know he's come and gone whilst you're sleeping, he's always hard at it and will consummate his business in a timely fashion, aiming to please as always.

Hope you wake up with a smile on your face knowing the job in hand has has been to your satisfaction and look forward to further communication via the blower.

Yours sincerely,

Ivor Bighorn (head recruiter).

Him"

Bravo sir!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sign in our local

PUBLIC HOUSE

LIQUEUR in the front

Poker in the rear

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...


"Hi Miss Honey.

Gonna send Justin around in the morning to sort your pipes out, please can you leave the back entrance open as he'll be coming pretty early. You won't even know he's come and gone whilst you're sleeping, he's always hard at it and will consummate his business in a timely fashion, aiming to please as always.

Hope you wake up with a smile on your face knowing the job in hand has has been to your satisfaction and look forward to further communication via the blower.

Yours sincerely,

Ivor Bighorn (head recruiter).

Him"

Love it

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

When giving injections, nurses are nowadays told to avoid saying " you will feel a small prick"

Wierd translations:

Document with a hire car in Japan;

"When foot walking person heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."

I do like the idea of being trumpeted melodiously and then tootled with vigour ......

A laundry in Rome: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

In an Austrian hotel ;

"New fitted with furnishings; for your satisfaction we are good in bath and excellent in bed"

In a Japanese Hotel;

" Chambermaids are provided for the comfort of guests who are to use them daily. They will guarantee your complete satisfaction"

Donkey rides in Thailand: "Would you like to ride on your own ass?"

On the tap in a Finnish washroom: "To stop the drip, turn cock to right."

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

At work I said to a customer 'you might have to take it out and put it back in a bit harder' I was quite because he was quite nice!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"At work I said to a customer 'you might have to take it out and put it back in a bit harder' I was quite because he was quite nice!"

Did you ask him if he was on fabs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brown girl in the ring...tra la la la la.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's too big, it just won't fit, I think I need a hand with this

Said today whist trying to hole punch a new document I had just printed! Que every one to laugh in the office whilst I pondered what had happened!

I did get a couple of offers tho

T xx (wifey)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard at a breakfast table

'How was your muffin this morning?'

'It was good thanks - much better than yesterday's muffin'

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By *iss.Honey OP   Woman
over a year ago

...

Give it a vigorous shake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Innuendo?

I'll give you one.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

Have you got any Rising damp and are there any damp patches you need sorting out?

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