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Bi woman at clubs and parties

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission?

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission? "

I don't, but I have experienced this from other bi women .... I rarely play with anyone at parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission? "

Because it's more acceptable and de rigeur with regards to ladies on fab. But also some ladies think that they can do what they want to whom they want because they're in demand. No is no and at no point should anyone do anything without permission

Beard

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm with you about being cautious but sometimes to the point I can seem unapproachable lol. I seem to get more annoyed with women touching me than guys for some odd reason

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"I'm with you about being cautious but sometimes to the point I can seem unapproachable lol. I seem to get more annoyed with women touching me than guys for some odd reason "

That is interesting because I can't say the same. The men touching really turn me off. Have found a great way to enjoy myself without any pressure from the men though ... at a transgender party. Very few women there too .... most relaxing and fun evening we've had for a good while ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission?

I don't, but I have experienced this from other bi women .... I rarely play with anyone at parties. "

Not sure why they assume all women are bi , but perhaps it's because the majority are at a club or a party ?

We only go to a party to play , we wouldn't go if we weren't up for some fun

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission?

I don't, but I have experienced this from other bi women .... I rarely play with anyone at parties.

Not sure why they assume all women are bi , but perhaps it's because the majority are at a club or a party ?

We only go to a party to play , we wouldn't go if we weren't up for some fun "

I will play if it feels right, but mostly it doesn't. So we just socialise pretty much. I don't go there intending not to play, it just happens. Friday evening we went out and for the first time in ages I played .... the vibe was right. Been a long time coming ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission?

I don't, but I have experienced this from other bi women .... I rarely play with anyone at parties.

Not sure why they assume all women are bi , but perhaps it's because the majority are at a club or a party ?

We only go to a party to play , we wouldn't go if we weren't up for some fun

I will play if it feels right, but mostly it doesn't. So we just socialise pretty much. I don't go there intending not to play, it just happens. Friday evening we went out and for the first time in ages I played .... the vibe was right. Been a long time coming ..."

That's great , we also have the odd night when it just doesn't feel right , or there isn't anyone who floats our boat .

Glad you had a fun night

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x"

*makes note to bring sledgehammer with him when the time comes*

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

A few months ago at a club on the dance floor a woman stuck her tongue in my mouth with no warning. I was quite perturbed.

I now slip my sexual orientation into conversation very early on that I'm straight if a couple approaches me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission?

I don't, but I have experienced this from other bi women .... I rarely play with anyone at parties.

Not sure why they assume all women are bi , but perhaps it's because the majority are at a club or a party ?

We only go to a party to play , we wouldn't go if we weren't up for some fun "

But that assumption shouldn't be there surely. Guys could make the assumption that everyone is there to play and make a move.

Don't get me wrong I go.prepared to play with the right person or just hubby if not

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"A few months ago at a club on the dance floor a woman stuck her tongue in my mouth with no warning. I was quite perturbed.

I now slip my sexual orientation into conversation very early on that I'm straight if a couple approaches me. "

So now its just the men that do it???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission? "

No one slates them for making a move without permission?? Since when? Doesn't matter if they are male/female or couple make a move without permission and make me roar. Everyone should ask and not make assumptions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i never assume - i ask

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x

*makes note to bring sledgehammer with him when the time comes* "
yes, just assume i'm a bit thick xx

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

My personal opinion is that these women are bi for their partners, and not for themselves .... or for the other woman, ie a mutual thing. Why wouldn't you consider the feelings and preferences of the other?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission?

No one slates them for making a move without permission?? Since when? Doesn't matter if they are male/female or couple make a move without permission and make me roar. Everyone should ask and not make assumptions. "

Totally agree.

A couple slated a club for it yet she made a move on me without asking which I found ironic!

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

I'm bi but would never dream of touching anyone male or female first..... I wait for them to make the move x

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x

*makes note to bring sledgehammer with him when the time comes*

yes, just assume i'm a bit thick xx"

Now that is an assumption I could never make...as you're patently not

Back to the point though any assumption made at a club without checking first is obviously wrong...whether that be that it's ok to touch or that someone (male or female) is bi etc....one other thing that gets my goat is when I'm asked if it's ok to touch my partner (without asking her first)...my standard answer being "you'd better ask her"..

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

I've never assumed another woman is also bi, and if things are moving in the direction of playing, would always establish what *all* involved expect and/or want before touching. That's male or female BTW.

I've been inappropriately touched twice by women who didn't ask - once when in the throes both myself and my playmate were each stopped in our tracks by a woman who grabbed each of us (his balls, my breast) in turn and just stood there grinning inanely despite our shocked faces when we sat up. The other time a very d*unk woman launched herself at me and got quite abusive when I didn't return her enthusiasm ... well, I say enthusiasm but actually she was aggressive and intimidating and it was upsetting. Funnily enough, although plenty of single guys have creeped me out and pissed me off by invading my space and not backing off quickly enough when asked, I've not actually been touched by one thank god.

Uninvited touching is always wrong whoever does it IMO.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x

*makes note to bring sledgehammer with him when the time comes*

yes, just assume i'm a bit thick xx

Now that is an assumption I could never make...as you're patently not

Back to the point though any assumption made at a club without checking first is obviously wrong...whether that be that it's ok to touch or that someone (male or female) is bi etc....one other thing that gets my goat is when I'm asked if it's ok to touch my partner (without asking her first)...my standard answer being "you'd better ask her".."

That gets me too. I need to be asked myself .... but whenever someone asks to play with my OH, he directs them to ask me, as that is where the balance is in our relationship ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have some friends here who are straight but have found out they dont mind a woman touching their breasts - no more than that so when we play as a group in a club or party i know limits - i will just add it came from them to let me touch - and its usually done in great fun - and one straight lady isnt no more - also her fantasy that came to light no prompting from me - so maybe if youre not a pushy person - and open and honest - people arent threatened as they trust you - more fun is to be had

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x

*makes note to bring sledgehammer with him when the time comes*

yes, just assume i'm a bit thick xx

Now that is an assumption I could never make...as you're patently not

Back to the point though any assumption made at a club without checking first is obviously wrong...whether that be that it's ok to touch or that someone (male or female) is bi etc....one other thing that gets my goat is when I'm asked if it's ok to touch my partner (without asking her first)...my standard answer being "you'd better ask her".."
when i am with my Dom it is his choice, he should be asked..

but i assume its because im mainly blindfolded they think im sub to the world, and dont understand the scene and protocol..ive only been seriously assaulted once and that was by a woman..

the most touching i do, without being invited is a hug..but then im a huggy person..not for everyone, so if i hug you, without it being appropriate when i greet you, i apologise in advance xx

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x

*makes note to bring sledgehammer with him when the time comes*

yes, just assume i'm a bit thick xx

Now that is an assumption I could never make...as you're patently not

Back to the point though any assumption made at a club without checking first is obviously wrong...whether that be that it's ok to touch or that someone (male or female) is bi etc....one other thing that gets my goat is when I'm asked if it's ok to touch my partner (without asking her first)...my standard answer being "you'd better ask her".. when i am with my Dom it is his choice, he should be asked..

but i assume its because im mainly blindfolded they think im sub to the world, and dont understand the scene and protocol..ive only been seriously assaulted once and that was by a woman..

the most touching i do, without being invited is a hug..but then im a huggy person..not for everyone, so if i hug you, without it being appropriate when i greet you, i apologise in advance xx "

Yes, apologies that comment was not directed at your situation specifically....which is a different dynamic entirely...although in a swing club environment (rather than a fet club) most there wouldn't immediately appreciate or know that dynamic so if it hadn't been established first would expect people not to assume but to ask.

And you hug away all you like where I'm concerned

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x

*makes note to bring sledgehammer with him when the time comes*

yes, just assume i'm a bit thick xx

Now that is an assumption I could never make...as you're patently not

Back to the point though any assumption made at a club without checking first is obviously wrong...whether that be that it's ok to touch or that someone (male or female) is bi etc....one other thing that gets my goat is when I'm asked if it's ok to touch my partner (without asking her first)...my standard answer being "you'd better ask her".. when i am with my Dom it is his choice, he should be asked..

but i assume its because im mainly blindfolded they think im sub to the world, and dont understand the scene and protocol..ive only been seriously assaulted once and that was by a woman..

the most touching i do, without being invited is a hug..but then im a huggy person..not for everyone, so if i hug you, without it being appropriate when i greet you, i apologise in advance xx

Yes, apologies that comment was not directed at your situation specifically....which is a different dynamic entirely...although in a swing club environment (rather than a fet club) most there wouldn't immediately appreciate or know that dynamic so if it hadn't been established first would expect people not to assume but to ask.

And you hug away all you like where I'm concerned "
thank you ..noted xx everyone should ask...just not everyone does...i try not to let it ruffle me, but i've been rather feisty verbally, on occasions

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"Why do women assume other women are bi at clubs and parties, and noone slates them like they do guys when they make a move without permission? "

Cos numptirs call them rare & unicorns etc. So some probably think the sun shines out their proverbial...

On a similar vein I have heard of a new club trying out coloured light sticks, different colour denotes your sexual preference. Not a bad idea maybe?

S

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x

*makes note to bring sledgehammer with him when the time comes*

yes, just assume i'm a bit thick xx

Now that is an assumption I could never make...as you're patently not

Back to the point though any assumption made at a club without checking first is obviously wrong...whether that be that it's ok to touch or that someone (male or female) is bi etc....one other thing that gets my goat is when I'm asked if it's ok to touch my partner (without asking her first)...my standard answer being "you'd better ask her".. when i am with my Dom it is his choice, he should be asked..

but i assume its because im mainly blindfolded they think im sub to the world, and dont understand the scene and protocol..ive only been seriously assaulted once and that was by a woman..

the most touching i do, without being invited is a hug..but then im a huggy person..not for everyone, so if i hug you, without it being appropriate when i greet you, i apologise in advance xx

Yes, apologies that comment was not directed at your situation specifically....which is a different dynamic entirely...although in a swing club environment (rather than a fet club) most there wouldn't immediately appreciate or know that dynamic so if it hadn't been established first would expect people not to assume but to ask.

And you hug away all you like where I'm concerned thank you ..noted xx everyone should ask...just not everyone does...i try not to let it ruffle me, but i've been rather feisty verbally, on occasions "

As you should be...regardless of of the gender of the perpetrator...assuming anything is ok in that environmemt is blatantly wrong...so calling people out on it is the way to go

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"i dont assume anything, if anything i am terribly cautious with women at clubs, im not expecting them to be interested or bi..

same with guys being honest..

i take it that people are just being sociable and friendly..takes a sledgehammer to make me realise they want anything else..

however, i have been touched without being asked by men and women and it pisses me off..so i tread carefully x

*makes note to bring sledgehammer with him when the time comes*

yes, just assume i'm a bit thick xx

Now that is an assumption I could never make...as you're patently not

Back to the point though any assumption made at a club without checking first is obviously wrong...whether that be that it's ok to touch or that someone (male or female) is bi etc....one other thing that gets my goat is when I'm asked if it's ok to touch my partner (without asking her first)...my standard answer being "you'd better ask her".. when i am with my Dom it is his choice, he should be asked..

but i assume its because im mainly blindfolded they think im sub to the world, and dont understand the scene and protocol..ive only been seriously assaulted once and that was by a woman..

the most touching i do, without being invited is a hug..but then im a huggy person..not for everyone, so if i hug you, without it being appropriate when i greet you, i apologise in advance xx

Yes, apologies that comment was not directed at your situation specifically....which is a different dynamic entirely...although in a swing club environment (rather than a fet club) most there wouldn't immediately appreciate or know that dynamic so if it hadn't been established first would expect people not to assume but to ask.

And you hug away all you like where I'm concerned thank you ..noted xx everyone should ask...just not everyone does...i try not to let it ruffle me, but i've been rather feisty verbally, on occasions

As you should be...regardless of of the gender of the perpetrator...assuming anything is ok in that environment is blatantly wrong...so calling people out on it is the way to go"
they dont understand the effect on anyone because they don't think..especially one whos in a trusting, vulnerable position and possibly altered state x but it is part of the risk we take to do what we love doing x

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"And you hug away all you like where I'm concerned

Thank you ..noted xx everyone should ask...just not everyone does...i try not to let it ruffle me, but i've been rather feisty verbally, on occasions

As you should be...regardless of the gender of the perpetrator...assuming anything is ok in that environment is blatantly wrong...so calling people out on it is the way to go

they dont understand the effect on anyone because they don't think..especially one whos in a trusting, vulnerable position and possibly altered state x but it is part of the risk we take to do what we love doing x"

The thing is, most clubs both publish etiquette on their websites, as well as remonding newbies of it when they arrive...so there really is no excuse for not following it....although with reference to your specific situation the ignorance around that particular dynamic seems to be even worse with incorrect assumptions being made around what sub actually means or signifies...but guess that's a whole other topic

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"And you hug away all you like where I'm concerned

Thank you ..noted xx everyone should ask...just not everyone does...i try not to let it ruffle me, but i've been rather feisty verbally, on occasions

As you should be...regardless of the gender of the perpetrator...assuming anything is ok in that environment is blatantly wrong...so calling people out on it is the way to go

they dont understand the effect on anyone because they don't think..especially one whos in a trusting, vulnerable position and possibly altered state x but it is part of the risk we take to do what we love doing x

The thing is, most clubs both publish etiquette on their websites, as well as remonding newbies of it when they arrive...so there really is no excuse for not following it....although with reference to your specific situation the ignorance around that particular dynamic seems to be even worse with incorrect assumptions being made around what sub actually means or signifies...but guess that's a whole other topic"
probably, but same topic for all.. ask before you touch, male or female, bi or straight xx

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"And you hug away all you like where I'm concerned

Thank you ..noted xx everyone should ask...just not everyone does...i try not to let it ruffle me, but i've been rather feisty verbally, on occasions

As you should be...regardless of the gender of the perpetrator...assuming anything is ok in that environment is blatantly wrong...so calling people out on it is the way to go

they dont understand the effect on anyone because they don't think..especially one whos in a trusting, vulnerable position and possibly altered state x but it is part of the risk we take to do what we love doing x

The thing is, most clubs both publish etiquette on their websites, as well as remonding newbies of it when they arrive...so there really is no excuse for not following it....although with reference to your specific situation the ignorance around that particular dynamic seems to be even worse with incorrect assumptions being made around what sub actually means or signifies...but guess that's a whole other topicprobably, but same topic for all.. ask before you touch, male or female, bi or straight xx"

absolutely....first rule of swing club!!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"And you hug away all you like where I'm concerned

Thank you ..noted xx everyone should ask...just not everyone does...i try not to let it ruffle me, but i've been rather feisty verbally, on occasions

As you should be...regardless of the gender of the perpetrator...assuming anything is ok in that environment is blatantly wrong...so calling people out on it is the way to go

they dont understand the effect on anyone because they don't think..especially one whos in a trusting, vulnerable position and possibly altered state x but it is part of the risk we take to do what we love doing x

The thing is, most clubs both publish etiquette on their websites, as well as remonding newbies of it when they arrive...so there really is no excuse for not following it....although with reference to your specific situation the ignorance around that particular dynamic seems to be even worse with incorrect assumptions being made around what sub actually means or signifies...but guess that's a whole other topicprobably, but same topic for all.. ask before you touch, male or female, bi or straight xx

absolutely....first rule of swing club!!"

...and Fet Club for that matter (not that I've been to one)

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