FabSwingers.com forum: blonde jokes...or any jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

my little friend on here just put his felt tips down after sniffing em and sent me this joke. he cheered me up coz am bored. so asked his permission to use it.

Blonde lass gets out her parked car ,Traffic warden says here blonde get yer car out of disabled zone !!!.Blonde replys I am disabled you fuck I got tourettes now fuck off ya fat baldy ugly wee man LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you make a blondes eyes light up ?,Place a torch to her ear .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you make a blondes eyes light up ?,Place a torch to her ear .

lol , love that one xx

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

have to be careful here as I married a Blond Essex girl ..................................... but she is wonderful and gorgeous and does have white shoes and several handbags an yes I did used to have a white ford capri

(the for runner of the escort RS3 or whatever they have now)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A redhead ,brunette n a blonde were on there way up to heaven god said I'm going to tell a joke on every step and theres a 1,000 steps untill my gates .

So god starts with the jokes the redhead laughs unconteolable upon 45 step .

The brunette laughs at 445 step .

The blonde laughs at step 999 !!! .

God asks why do you laugh now only blonde ?.

Ah the blonde replys I've just now only got the first joke .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a blonde walks into a porn shop and asks which their best dildo is

the assistant hands her a 12" black one and says that this is their biggest and best selling one.

the blonde looks round the shop for a minute , and says "what about the red one in the corner?"

the assistant says , "sorry i cant sell you that" , when she asks why , the assistant says "because its our fire extinguisher"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blonde walks into a Internet cafe not having a clue how to operate a computer . so she asked guy behind counter for help. Boy says fine but it'll cost ya !,Fine says blonde ill do anything to talk to my mum .

So boy says follow me then ,They get to back office boy drops his pants & boxers says to blonde right on ya go take my dick in your mouth then .

The blonde puts his dick in her mouth and says hello mum are you there hello ?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boy walks in bar says that if I can stick my dick & balls in this gaters jaws and pull it out without even a scratch on it then you all buy me free drink deal?.

The crowd eyes light up with glee at this dafty yeah alright they shout.

So boy grabs gaters jaws pulls out his wand places it in it's chops holds it there for a no ute then hits the gaters head with beer bottle .Out comes his tackle not a scratch anywhere crowd applaud n cheer . The boy asks now would anyone else care to try this then ?.Room is all silent untill this blonde at back says yeah ill try but as long as you don't hit the back of my head with the bottle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What makes blonds dumb?

The dye they use to make them blond.

(Far too many dumb blonds who are not real blonds at all )

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What makes blonds dumb?

The dye they use to make them blond.

(Far too many dumb blonds who are not real blonds at all )"

oh feck dont get that joke!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence."

My joke was the revers of yours

Look around, most blonds are dyed.

I'm tempted to apply to the council, trading standards department for the role of cuffs and collar checker

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.

My joke was the revers of yours

Look around, most blonds are dyed.

I'm tempted to apply to the council, trading standards department for the role of cuffs and collar checker

i get rid of the evidence so u cant prove it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmfao artificial intelligence bloody brilliant dear .kool porno store one lived that hehehe ! Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Liverpool. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haaaa lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 girls are on plane that is about to crash.

the American puts on her make up and says the rescuers will save me first because im pretty

the French girl opens her blouse and takes of her bra saying the rescuers will save me as I have gorgeous tits.

the african removes her knickers saying feck off you dumb bithces they always look for the black box first!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

old jokes ere guys but the best...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call an essex girl with a runny nose

FULL!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blonde run out her front door across the lawn past gardener opens mail box shuts it then goes back closes door . 5 minutes later blonde sprints back across lawn past gardener once again by this time the gardener is curious to whats going on as she appears upset so he says to himself if she comes out again he'll ask her.

So sure as a blonde will suck your dick she bolts out the door it bangs open she legs it over lawn past boy opens mail box says ah ffs and slams shut the box .So gardener asks miss ?,Miss is there anything wrong yes she reply that stupid fucking computer keeps telling me I have bloody mail .

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"What do you call an essex girl with a runny nose

FULL!"

Please see 4th post in this thread! - I'm a dead man now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what do u get if u ask a blonde a penny for her thughts........

change

two blondes walking down the street one says oh shit motherfucker look ay that dead bird, the other one looks up and says where

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call an essex girl with a runny nose

FULL!

Please see 4th post in this thread! - I'm a dead man now

oops sorry! plead insanity its always worked for me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LOL kitty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a true blonde .......i am sooooooooo not impressed with this thread ....humphhhhhh !!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two blondes out walking one day and they spot some tracks. "Them's bear tracks," said one blonde, "no, them's dear tracks," replied the other. They were still arguing about when the train hit them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two blondes out walking one day and they spot some tracks. "Them's bear tracks," said one blonde, "no, them's dear tracks," replied the other. They were still arguing about when the train hit them.

"
and im really sulking now !!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two blondes out walking one day and they spot some tracks. "Them's bear tracks," said one blonde, "no, them's dear tracks," replied the other. They were still arguing about when the train hit them.

and im really sulking now !!!!!!!

Aw, sorry sweetheart, I still wanna tie you up though hehehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh one day .......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A Blonde's Year in Review

January

Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February

Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....

Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March

Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said "2-4 years!"

April

Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May

Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of

water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June

Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July

Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,

the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August

Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....

car swamped because soft-top was open.

September

The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October

Hate M & M's......they are so hard to peel .

November

Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour

per pound and I weigh 108!!

December

Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no "eleven"

Button on the stupid phone!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oiiii im blonde ya know

and i aint fick !!

ahem !

and a TRUE one at that , it all matches

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"oiiii im blonde ya know

and i aint fick !!

ahem !

and a TRUE one at that , it all matches

am fick and i dont match unless i do a britney and shave me chuffing head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"oiiii im blonde ya know

and i aint fick !!

ahem !

and a TRUE one at that , it all matches

am fick and i dont match unless i do a britney and shave me chuffing head"

hahahahah good one.

that tickled me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you get a red head to argue with ya ?,Talk to her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians?,A licker cabinet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An old boy walks in a bar says hit me 10 shots son!,Why wots wrong ?,Jyst found out my brothers gay .

Same ole boy walks in nxt day says hit me with 12 shots ,Agan boy asks why.Ole boy says my sons gay .

Lastly old boy enter bar once again 15 shots and again bartender whats wrong now my nephews turned gay found him with my son .

Ok bartender replys doesn't anyone in your familly like woman then ? ,Yes old man says apparently my wife does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?,Well hung

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

Man in hospital panics when he shits the bed, tears off the sheets and throws them out of the window.

Said sheet lands on a d*unk passer by who fights like hell to get out of the sheet.

Policaman approaches and asks what he is doing,

D*unk replies - i think i just kicked the shit out of a ghost!!!

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

Paddy gives 36 red roses to his wife.

She is thrilled, undresses, lies down and spreads her legs and says "this is for the roses".

Paddy says "why, aint we got a vase...??"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Blonde's Year in Review

January

Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February

Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....

Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March

Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said "2-4 years!"

April

Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May

Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of

water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June

Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July

Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,

the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August

Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....

car swamped because soft-top was open.

September

The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October

Hate M & M's......they are so hard to peel .

November

Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour

per pound and I weigh 108!!

December

Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no "eleven"

Button on the stupid phone!!!

Oh dear, you should have removed the last one

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