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Eulogies.... When is too soon?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So my dad was my rock, also my biggest pain in the arse.

Over the past two years he's suffered a heart attack and is now having a lense up his penis as they believe a growth they have detected is cancer.

My mother is making moves to secure her personal security "if anything happens to dad"

I know they know more than they are letting on, my dad is an alcoholic and has spent time in hospital. Been at deaths door more times than most.

My problem is that I find myself writing a eulogy in advance, I just don't wanna be bogged down by emotion when he goes that I can't get across everything I need to about him - but it feels wrong,it feels like I'm pre empting his death.

He was given the call to quit alcohol or not see my 16th birthday.... He's so hard core, but it's coming.

I guess I've been grieving him and his deterioration for years. So I already feel too ready for this.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

There's nothing wrong with writing it now: you need the catharsis. If it doesn't feel right when he dies you just write another one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with Lickety. Sending you hugs, OP.

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

You do what you feel feels best. No ones business except you. Wish you well. Xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My great aunt wrote her own and had it read out

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I wasnt ment to add a smile anyway i like things all done and dusted ive even been and got a dress for my stepdads funeral

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"There's nothing wrong with writing it now: you need the catharsis. If it doesn't feel right when he dies you just write another one.

"
this. i often these days think about my parents passing..and what to do when one of them goes..

i came back from a spell abroad and my dad had so changed, that i spent time saying goodbye to the dad i knew so i could love him for what he now was..

an ex of mine also committed suicide earlier this year, such a shock, but i am so grateful i took time to say things when he was alive, that i am at peace and know i am mindful of this now, with everyone.

i think lots of people do this sweet, i think its healthy..i just don't think people talk about it much, but im glad you have..do what you need to do and live today, for all its worth xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There's nothing wrong with writing it now: you need the catharsis. If it doesn't feel right when he dies you just write another one.

this. i often these days think about my parents passing..and what to do when one of them goes..

i came back from a spell abroad and my dad had so changed, that i spent time saying goodbye to the dad i knew so i could love him for what he now was..

an ex of mine also committed suicide earlier this year, such a shock, but i am so grateful i took time to say things when he was alive, that i am at peace and know i am mindful of this now, with everyone.

i think lots of people do this sweet, i think its healthy..i just don't think people talk about it much, but im glad you have..do what you need to do and live today, for all its worth xx"

Sending you huge hugs, I've loved and lost which is probably the reason I'm so matter of fact about it xx

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly


"

My problem is that I find myself writing a eulogy in advance, I just don't wanna be bogged down by emotion when he goes that I can't get across everything I need to about him - but it feels wrong,it feels like I'm pre empting his death."

We're all dying so pre-empting his death is natural, it's the one certainty in life. Afterwards I think you'll look back and be glad you wrote it when you had a clearer head than if you wait. Big hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it makes you feel better then you do whatever you feel like doing,and if it gives you comfort then bless you op.x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm tempted to write my own as I could do it better than anyone else. I say write it. You don't have to use it.

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

Rather write it soon than think 'I wish I'd said that' afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank-you folks, now I've posted I've reached a writers block - how daft is that.

I will do him proud x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Thank-you folks, now I've posted I've reached a writers block - how daft is that.

I will do him proud x"

The words will come when you're ready.

It sounds like you needed to tell someone what you were feeling rather than writing the eulogy.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"There's nothing wrong with writing it now: you need the catharsis. If it doesn't feel right when he dies you just write another one.

"

I agree

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Thank-you folks, now I've posted I've reached a writers block - how daft is that.

I will do him proud x

The words will come when you're ready.

It sounds like you needed to tell someone what you were feeling rather than writing the eulogy.

"

Again I agree.

OP as you're in a state of grieving you are right to get support from others. Whether they be professionals or strangers.

It's s nightmare for yourself and your Mum

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thank-you folks, now I've posted I've reached a writers block - how daft is that.

I will do him proud x

The words will come when you're ready.

It sounds like you needed to tell someone what you were feeling rather than writing the eulogy.

Again I agree.

OP as you're in a state of grieving you are right to get support from others. Whether they be professionals or strangers.

It's s nightmare for yourself and your Mum "

I've been bashing my head about my parents for years, but something is very different this time, they are making "plans" .

Just get pissed off with myself cause I wanna make sure everything is said that needs to be, but my dad was a rouge, I worry I won't cover it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mother recently passed away. I spent 4 days trying to write her eulogy. In the end I just made a list of all the things I wanted to mention. Then just did it on the day as I went. Mao my because every time I tried to write it, I also got writers block.

XX

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