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The diamondsmiles thread

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Hello and welcome to my thread.

Im diamomdsmiles Business woman of the year 1965.

As you can see im pretty bang tidy and not a stinky minger,not bad for a "potato".

So now your here on my thread what are we going to do? We could play a game of guess the nostrils. Each contestant should

should pm me a picture of their nostrils. Contestant with the biggest nostrils wins a "potato".

Or we could play ginger minge, women with ginger minges send me their pictures and gingerest minge wins.......you guessed it

....a "potato".

As you may know, ive hurt my arm, i was trying to smash someones back doors in and as i was easing their arse cheeks apart with my strap on, they farted and i shot back across the room and banged arm on wall.

But i tell people i was attacked by a sharp. Good street cred is that being attacked by a shark. Better than being farted on.

. Got a new job me, fern and phil have asked me to be their new agony aunt. They had some ginger twat but they sacked him. So they have asked me to be Auntie diamond. Between you and me i think they feel a little privaliged to have someone with as much wordly knowledge about everything in their prescence.

I here this is the site to be on if you want to get your back door smashed in no questions asked. Flash a bit of minge and their like bees round honeypot, well so im told.

Wonder if i should serve a dish of "potato" to bust their energy first.

Anyway folks im off to have a wank over the nostrils that should be in my inbox by now.

So if i dont see you through the week i will see you through the window.

Dont be a dingbat and have fun

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By *razydriver8Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

ding ding ohh time for your meds DS

oh by the way.... potato..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thats the funniest thread ive read in ages love Mr Lemon but guess what i cant remember his first name now must be the cream eggs lol

im a POTATO!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

google is great its Keith silly moo

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"google is great its Keith silly moo "

I didnt post on purpose cause i knew it would bug you lmao.

Anyway hes now lovingly referred to as the ginger twat as i think he may have dumped me for stacey solomon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its keiff lol and thought you were off to bed diamond

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Its keiff lol and thought you were off to bed diamond"

I went, watched a couple of programmes and now im back up lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"google is great its Keith silly moo

I didnt post on purpose cause i knew it would bug you lmao.

Anyway hes now lovingly referred to as the ginger twat as i think he may have dumped me for stacey solomon "

lol i just phoned my friend and asked him what keith lemons name was and then had to explain it had come to me as i was talking to him how stupid did i feel lol

now if i ask this question about the ginger twat will you leave me going mad lol is there a reason he wears the bandage on his hand ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello and welcome to my thread.

Im diamomdsmiles Business woman of the year 1965.

As you can see im pretty bang tidy and not a stinky minger,not bad for a "potato".

So now your here on my thread what are we going to do? We could play a game of guess the nostrils. Each contestant should

should pm me a picture of their nostrils. Contestant with the biggest nostrils wins a "potato".

Or we could play ginger minge, women with ginger minges send me their pictures and gingerest minge wins.......you guessed it

....a "potato".

As you may know, ive hurt my arm, i was trying to smash someones back doors in and as i was easing their arse cheeks apart with my strap on, they farted and i shot back across the room and banged arm on wall.

But i tell people i was attacked by a sharp. Good street cred is that being attacked by a shark. Better than being farted on.

. Got a new job me, fern and phil have asked me to be their new agony aunt. They had some ginger twat but they sacked him. So they have asked me to be Auntie diamond. Between you and me i think they feel a little privaliged to have someone with as much wordly knowledge about everything in their prescence.

I here this is the site to be on if you want to get your back door smashed in no questions asked. Flash a bit of minge and their like bees round honeypot, well so im told.

Wonder if i should serve a dish of "potato" to bust their energy first.

Anyway folks im off to have a wank over the nostrils that should be in my inbox by now.

So if i dont see you through the week i will see you through the window.

Dont be a dingbat and have fun

"

YAWN!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Newsflash*

Annie Diamond discovered wearing only a strap on and a bemused expression... Mumbling "Potato... Nostrils"...

Nick Owen deletes his Fabswingers account to be at her side.

He is refusing to comment that her career was in taters...

"she has not had her chips!" he said crisply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can smash my backdoors in with your strap-on any time.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

NOSTRIL PERVE!!!

.

do you prefer hairy,or clean shaven nostrils.

could i have a wee blob of butter,on my potato.

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"NOSTRIL PERVE!!!

.

do you prefer hairy,or clean shaven nostrils.

could i have a wee blob of butter,on my potato.

"

I think we should have a nostril day and all put pictures of our nostrils as avators

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I know what i will be getting Diamonds for Christmas this year lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

omg ive just read up on keith lemon he isnt real never using google again its just ruined everything for me

Now please can someone tell me why the ginger faking twat has a bandage on hand cos google was no bloody help on that

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"omg ive just read up on keith lemon he isnt real never using google again its just ruined everything for me

Now please can someone tell me why the ginger faking twat has a bandage on hand cos google was no bloody help on that "

Oh no, i didnt realize you thought he was real lmao. He wears the bandage cause of friction burns due to wanking to much

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By *nkednkinky_bbwWoman
over a year ago

cannock


" He wears the bandage cause of friction burns due to wanking to much"

a few weeks ago i had to try to explain that to my very straight laced 67 yr old aunt......i don't know who was more embarrassed as i had to use the action for wanking cos i couldnt say the actual word and had a mental block on the 'real' word for it

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

oh this thread has cheered me up to no end ...thxs guys xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"omg ive just read up on keith lemon he isnt real never using google again its just ruined everything for me

Now please can someone tell me why the ginger faking twat has a bandage on hand cos google was no bloody help on that

Oh no, i didnt realize you thought he was real lmao. He wears the bandage cause of friction burns due to wanking to much"

Now why didnt i think of that lol probably as i thought he was really real and wanking never came into my head then but now i know he is a ginger faking tosser all makes sence

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

'Kin ell Diamond, u are a proper loonie lol

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

so whos got a sore back door then?

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"so whos got a sore back door then? "

Oh are we smashing back doors in again today lol

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"so whos got a sore back door then?

Oh are we smashing back doors in again today lol"
i dont do smashing unless i really dislike em lol

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"so whos got a sore back door then?

Oh are we smashing back doors in again today loli dont do smashing unless i really dislike em lol "

I dont want to hurt my hand again lol

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"so whos got a sore back door then?

Oh are we smashing back doors in again today loli dont do smashing unless i really dislike em lol

I dont want to hurt my hand again lol"
ouch!!! lmao

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

OMG I thought she only sent me nutty messages

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