FabSwingers.com forum: Speak your mind or avoid confrontation?

By *ureTemptation OP Woman
over a year ago

Off the grid

Are you a speak your mind person, or do you do anything to avoid confrontation and agree with everything regardless?

Or are you somewhere in the middle?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I speak my mind if it's appropriate and called for otherwise I STFU.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dislike confrontation immensely but I will speak up for myself & others when need be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends

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By *oncupiscentTonyMan
over a year ago

Kent

Get it out in the open, though be prepared you'll be labeled a flasher

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

I'm somewhere in the middle.

It depends on who, what and where.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

I tend to play it safe in the middle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the middle there's a time and a place sometimes but normally I say what's on my mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't care if people agree with me most of the time, so I will leave more often than confront.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll say what I feel but certainly wouldn't go out of my way to belittle or abuse someone.

As my mother told me 'if have nothing nice to say , say nothing at all'

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By *edRidingWolfCouple
over a year ago

Lydney

"I speak my mind if it's appropriate and called for otherwise I STFU.

This

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

I will most definitely speak my mind, if it is something which strongly concerns me or the safety of others. Wether my _iewpoint is listened to, is another matter.

If something doesn't concern me, or its a case of banging my head against a brick wall, then in those circumstances, I don't say anything.

Sometimes silence can be a stronger message than words themselves xxxxx Suzi

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I learnt recently not to be a doormat and that I have a voice...I'm all for speaking your mind but don't do it in a cruel manner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes my little voice isnt so little but.. as a general rule I will speak my mind..

Drives Mr nuts sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the middle. I choose my battles. Some are just not worth my time. If I feel strongly about something, I can't help but speak my mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on who it is, I'm not going to speak my mind on hearing some random express their _iews, when they weren't towards me. But if I disagree with what someone has said and I know them then yes I will speak my mind. Life isn't all roses and buttercups and I'm not going to agree with someone because they think they're right and I certainly wouldn't expect people to agree with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really depends on the situation. Sometimes it's best to confront something before it's too late. But I'm not one to constantly impose my will or opinion on others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will say opposite to what I actually believe just to get in to an argument, sometime's you need a good argument to get tho juices flowing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just like to be us

If we offend, tough! If we make you laugh, great! We're all "Human Beans" with different personalities that can't all be pleased collectively

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

"Just like to be us

If we offend, tough! If we make you laugh, great! We're all "Human Beans" with different personalities that can't all be pleased collectively

Is that ..... Heinz baked beans. Xxxxx

Suzi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I speak my mind but I'm not rude with it, you can say what needs to be said in a nice way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just like to be us

If we offend, tough! If we make you laugh, great! We're all "Human Beans" with different personalities that can't all be pleased collectively

Is that ..... Heinz baked beans. Xxxxx

Suzi"

Have you not seen BFG!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you a speak your mind person, or do you do anything to avoid confrontation and agree with everything regardless?

Or are you somewhere in the middle?"

Speak my mind defo, why waste your time

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

"Just like to be us

If we offend, tough! If we make you laugh, great! We're all "Human Beans" with different personalities that can't all be pleased collectively

Is that ..... Heinz baked beans. Xxxxx

Suzi

Have you not seen BFG!!!

Simple answer..... nope

xxxxx Suzi

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

on the forums i speak my mind, if im at work i dont because i have to see people everyday and get on with them. Most of the time i dont say anything but i dont lie and people probably know how i feel about some things just by the way i act or by the odd comments or remarks i make.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just like to be us

If we offend, tough! If we make you laugh, great! We're all "Human Beans" with different personalities that can't all be pleased collectively

Is that ..... Heinz baked beans. Xxxxx

Suzi

Have you not seen BFG!!!

Simple answer..... nope

xxxxx Suzi"

Then you are forgiven for thinking that I can't spell "Human Bee-in"

Ps. Watch BFG (the cartoon) it's really good

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

"Just like to be us

If we offend, tough! If we make you laugh, great! We're all "Human Beans" with different personalities that can't all be pleased collectively

Is that ..... Heinz baked beans. Xxxxx

Suzi

Have you not seen BFG!!!

Simple answer..... nope

xxxxx Suzi

Then you are forgiven for thinking that I can't spell "Human Bee-in"

Ps. Watch BFG (the cartoon) it's really good

Will put it on my "" To do list "" ..... that's if sex doesn't get in the way.....

xxxxx Suzi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i say what i think but careful how i say it - dont like confrontation

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I will say what I think as I see no point otherwise. I try to limit my posts to 3 on a thread as I won't get involved in tit for tat and I ignore anyone goading me.

It saddens me that so many lose their voice and it sways the dynamic in favour of females. Equality means all are treated the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

diplomacy is the key here I think,know when to speak your mind and know when to walk away?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will say what I think as I see no point otherwise. I try to limit my posts to 3 on a thread as I won't get involved in tit for tat and I ignore anyone goading me.

It saddens me that so many lose their voice and it sways the dynamic in favour of females. Equality means all are treated the same."

i like what you say most of the time - words of wisdom - choosing your words wisely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not so much that I avoid confrontation, I just don't really care.

I prefer a peaceful life, and I don't have the time and effort to get into arguments that I don't care about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I speak my mind but would try to do it in a non churlish manner. Most of the time anyway, I'm not perfect obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will say what I think as I see no point otherwise. I try to limit my posts to 3 on a thread as I won't get involved in tit for tat and I ignore anyone goading me.

It saddens me that so many lose their voice and it sways the dynamic in favour of females. Equality means all are treated the same."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the middle. I choose my battles. Some are just not worth my time. If I feel strongly about something, I can't help but speak my mind. "

This.

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

I will never agree with something just to avoid conflict;

I will usually challenge; sometimes I bide my time and choose the time and place for a battle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you a speak your mind person, or do you do anything to avoid confrontation and agree with everything regardless?

Or are you somewhere in the middle?"

Neither, I prefer to discuss the situation in an adult and intelligent way.

If the person or the situation is not open to an intelligent discussion then I will leave it be.

Let's face it life is too short and if you spoke your mind to every idiot you met or argue at every opportunity just because things don't go your way.

Your going to end up going thru life angry, bitter and pissing everyone off.

There is nothing wrong with being reasonable.

Can't stand confrontational people who argue just because they always think they are right regardless of others feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the middle. You can still get your point across without being a massive dick about it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it depends on the situation..

if I feel aggrieved enough I probably would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i Don't seek out confrontation and I will try to avoid it. ...Unless i feel it necessary or I'm feeling devilish. But i always say what i think. I'm not one for saying what i think others want to hear. People think I'm unlikeable because of that but i don't see the point in falsity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fully depends on my mood at the time.

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

Edmund Burke

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Somewhere in the middle, my last lot of job have been confrontation causing, so I am getting used to that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely speak my mind (mr) though I do do it tactically. Miss speaks her mind and is not tactical at all, thankfully she never posts here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In real life, I believe in picking my battles, most of the shit people get uptight over is utterly nonsensical.

On the internet, it's fun to poke sticks through cages

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I'm naturally opinionated .

I have a opinion on everything just like everyone else does and I voice that opinion when ever the mood takes me .

Now sometimes what I say will upset others if it hits a nerve because I'm naturally a tease to sometimes I know what I'm about to say will put cat amongst the pigeons which can be fun .

But here's the thing I'm like that in real life as well as on line but in both one thing is true if someone is preaching hate as there opinion I will tell them exactly my thoughts on there opinion and them as a human being

giving my honest opinion does not mean I think I'm right in what I'm saying sometimes I think others _iew you as not liking them when you give a opinion that doesn't agree with there own .

But in my eyes not all my friends agree with everything I say sometimes they will tell me off for something I don't _iew them any differently when they do this because ultimately they are my friend and me there's .

My best friends are those who give me there honest opinion even when they know it goes against my own .

On sites like fab I'm just calling it as I see it 90 percent of the time not trying to offend just being true to who I am as a human being the other 10 percent I'm teasing playing devils advocate for the shear fun of it .

Yes I'm a sod a opinionated sod who sometimes like to play devils advocate for the fun of it especially online

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I am famed for my bluntness, it saves time to say what you mean. I'm also very happy to speak truth unto power.

However:

There's more than one way to skin a cat and tact and diplomacy have their place too.

Depends on the arsehole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a saint.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'm a saint."

There you go again!

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

I'm a saint."

Well bless me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you a speak your mind person, or do you do anything to avoid confrontation and agree with everything regardless?

Or are you somewhere in the middle?"

Why would anyone want to agree with things they don't agree with regardless?

I don't sugarcoat I say things how they are.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I am famed for my bluntness, it saves time to say what you mean. I'm also very happy to speak truth unto power.

However:

There's more than one way to skin a cat and tact and diplomacy have their place too.

Depends on the arsehole.

I agree with the tact and diplomacy but some people (not saying on here) lack that skill...the things that have been said to me recently I wouldn't even say to my worst enemy....im more fucked off that I wasn't given the opportunity to respond back...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a saint.

There you go again!

I'm always kind, gentle and understanding until you fuck with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always speak your mind otherwise it will just eat away at you

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Always speak my mind to the consternation of others. Sheeples are the worst imo

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Always speak your mind otherwise it will just eat away at you "

I so agree with that....the things I want to say to someone at this present time but can't

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'm a saint.

There you go again!

I'm always kind, gentle and understanding until you fuck with me."

So Saturday night was 'kind, gentle and understanding' was it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a saint.

Well bless me!

Waiting for my phone call from the papal state.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I'm a saint."

Coughs and chokes on his last slip of tea at reading that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a saint.

There you go again!

I'm always kind, gentle and understanding until you fuck with me.

So Saturday night was 'kind, gentle and understanding' was it?

I thought so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always speak your mind otherwise it will just eat away at you

I so agree with that....the things I want to say to someone at this present time but can't

What's the worst that can happen??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately I speak my mind a little too much which has caused all sorts of problems over the years, well at least you know where you stand with me

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Always speak your mind otherwise it will just eat away at you

I so agree with that....the things I want to say to someone at this present time but can't

What's the worst that can happen??"

The cunt blocked me on every level so he could come out with shit but didn't want me to say anything in return (it's non fab related)

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By *ids_NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Speak my mind - but only if I can back it up with with facts and rational, not just because of an opinion I have, that may be something so far wrong, uneducated and only based on emotion or something someone else told me,

Nothing worse than a loud mouth who speaks their mind but has no substance behind what they say other than it's just what they think, and then try to inflict their opinion as a fact on others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a saint.

Coughs and chokes on his last slip of tea at reading that

I'm an onion.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I'm a saint.

Coughs and chokes on his last slip of tea at reading that

I'm an onion.

Multi layered with a zing to each layer then .

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Depends what the situation - some times I will bite sometimes I will ignor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the things in my mind are not publically broadcast-able..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm an American, and as such I speak my mind more than is generally acceptable in British society.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I speak ma mind to avoid confrontation

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex

Whatever you say lifes to short.

Smiles and crosses the road with selective vision.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Have always spoken my mind, long before this media came along. Have learnt over the years (maybe) that a bit of tact etc will help with some things and there are some situations when you know saying what you think may not be the best idea..

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Speak my mind - but only if I can back it up with with facts and rational, not just because of an opinion I have, that may be something so far wrong, uneducated and only based on emotion or something someone else told me,

Nothing worse than a loud mouth who speaks their mind but has no substance behind what they say other than it's just what they think, and then try to inflict their opinion as a fact on others."

I slightly disagree with that sometime a passionate emotional opinion can change opinions better than facts ever can

Facts can be manipulated just like emotions can be manipulated to suit the ends of a intelligent person or group .

And as for a loud mouth voicing their opinion if they believes in that opinion it is a fact in their mind maybe not in the minds of those who hold a different opinion to them .

But in there mind their opinion is a fact because its how they feel .

I think the best thing anyone can do when dealing with opinion that goes against the own is to remember opinions are like arseholes we all have one and like a arsehole everyone's opinion can be _iewed as full of shit by just about everyone hearing it apart from the one voicing it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm an American, and as such I speak my mind more than is generally acceptable in British society. "

I sympathise, as I lived abroad when younger in an ex pat community which was mainly American. So some of that has rubbed of on me.

I sometimes struggle with the passive-aggressive streak running through British society.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I will say what I think as I see no point otherwise. I try to limit my posts to 3 on a thread as I won't get involved in tit for tat and I ignore anyone goading me.

It saddens me that so many lose their voice and it sways the dynamic in favour of females. Equality means all are treated the same.

i like what you say most of the time - words of wisdom - choosing your words wisely "

Thank you very much

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By *acLe0dMan
over a year ago

Preston

I tend to lean toward s being one of those "beware the quiet types" and as such usually bite my tounge.

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I'm better at speaking my mind, but I'll never be a "natural" at it.

My default mode is to quietly harrumph and go off somewhere and be a bit grumpy and silent.

I've worked with plenty of the opposite types and I do have a sneaking regard for their approach

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Are you a speak your mind person, or do you do anything to avoid confrontation and agree with everything regardless?

Or are you somewhere in the middle?"

It depends.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I'm not one to sugar the plum. I'll say what I think here and in person

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I am a negotiator..

I won't shy away from confrontation but I know when to walk away and will always try to diffuse the situation first...

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"Always speak your mind otherwise it will just eat away at you

I so agree with that....the things I want to say to someone at this present time but can't

What's the worst that can happen??

The cunt blocked me on every level so he could come out with shit but didn't want me to say anything in return (it's non fab related) "

Whats the point in saying anything though, i get annoyed with people and feel like saying things to them sometimes but what would it achieve.

They arent going to suddenly think oh i should change my behaviour and be nicer.

You say something to them and it may make them even nastier its best if you dont let them know they have upset you.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I used to know a woman, well... less a woman and more a force of nature... a mental health worker. The kind of woman who'd single-handedly storm a crack house. Impressive.

Occasionally in my life, in moments of sudden crisis or opportunity, I have thought, What would Renée do? and gone and stormed the battlements.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In real life, or here on the Internet?

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Always speak your mind otherwise it will just eat away at you

I so agree with that....the things I want to say to someone at this present time but can't

What's the worst that can happen??

The cunt blocked me on every level so he could come out with shit but didn't want me to say anything in return (it's non fab related)

Whats the point in saying anything though, i get annoyed with people and feel like saying things to them sometimes but what would it achieve.

They arent going to suddenly think oh i should change my behaviour and be nicer.

You say something to them and it may make them even nastier its best if you dont let them know they have upset you."

We are on a site based around meeting people for like minded fun so in my opinion best to call it as you see it because by doing that you are being true to yourself and those you interact with .plus by doing so everyone who may have a interest in you can see exactly the type of person you really are and that way they know what to expect from you during their interactions with you .

As for showing someone has upset you I've obviously upset quite a few as I'm blocked by quite a few so really those I have upset have done a rather poor job of hiding that fact I've upset their sensibilities haven't they

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's in reference to the OP's Q

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God damned x-posts!

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By *ureTemptation OP Woman
over a year ago

Off the grid

"In real life, or here on the Internet?

Both. I suspect that's an important distinction for a lot of people on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm trying real hard to be mellow, have a few things going on outside of fab that I need to keep a cool head for. I'm a swan right now, look ok on the surface but paddling like fuck underneath. All the patience and tolerance I have is reserved purely for my child, everyone and everything else and my temper goes from 1 to 100 pretty quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In real life I tell it like it is.

On here there are so many fragile people I tend to not bother commenting most of the time.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"Always speak your mind otherwise it will just eat away at you

I so agree with that....the things I want to say to someone at this present time but can't

What's the worst that can happen??

The cunt blocked me on every level so he could come out with shit but didn't want me to say anything in return (it's non fab related)

Whats the point in saying anything though, i get annoyed with people and feel like saying things to them sometimes but what would it achieve.

They arent going to suddenly think oh i should change my behaviour and be nicer.

You say something to them and it may make them even nastier its best if you dont let them know they have upset you.

If you say so. Blocking someone isnt the same as saying something to them though, you are still ignoring them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll speak my mind, clearly. But as much as I'll stand up for myself, I'll never win against a group of bullies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speak my mind always, but using a modicum of tact where necessary. Purposely avoiding confrontation has much uglier longer term consequences. I think some people just really need to be liked by everyone and at any cost. Very worrying.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Always speak your mind otherwise it will just eat away at you

I so agree with that....the things I want to say to someone at this present time but can't

What's the worst that can happen??

The cunt blocked me on every level so he could come out with shit but didn't want me to say anything in return (it's non fab related)

Whats the point in saying anything though, i get annoyed with people and feel like saying things to them sometimes but what would it achieve.

They arent going to suddenly think oh i should change my behaviour and be nicer.

You say something to them and it may make them even nastier its best if you dont let them know they have upset you."

I get where you are coming from and silence is sometimes the best thing, the person in question won't care what I say anyway I just feel like I need to say a few things but you are probably right just move on and forget it but they have royally pissed me off...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn....

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn...."

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I keep quiet

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i shut up, more than people think i do..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah that's a hard one. Sometimes I just come out with it when I know I shouldn't...other times I can keep my mouth shut

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to be non confrontational, because if I did speak my mind I would say some TERRIBLE things that would portray me as the worst person in the world since that German bloke tried taking over the world back in 1939!!!

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