FabSwingers.com forum: Weirdest meet

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What's the weirdest meet anyone has had or the strangest thing happen ?

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

London Tea Party Social on Saturday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bloke was fked me for about 30 secs, stopped for 5 mins cock inside, said " it isn't working, put your clothes on" and chucked me out. Had had 2 coffee meets previously and been chatting a couple of months. That's my strangest meet so far XXX

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday"
what happened? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy fell out of a wardrobe and crack his head on the end of the bed.... whilst I was busy with his wife, the blood arced through the air and quite put me off my stroke....

.... we laughed about it as I bandaged him up... UNLOS the next day.... I miss all the fun people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A bloke was fked me for about 30 secs, stopped for 5 mins cock inside, said " it isn't working, put your clothes on" and chucked me out. Had had 2 coffee meets previously and been chatting a couple of months. That's my strangest meet so far XXX"
sounds like he shot his load and tried to hide it to save embarrassment lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WTF??,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More fool him. It's his loss.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Guy fell out of a wardrobe and crack his head on the end of the bed.... whilst I was busy with his wife, the blood arced through the air and quite put me off my stroke....

.... we laughed about it as I bandaged him up... UNLOS the next day.... I miss all the fun people "
haha that's brilliant

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday"

It was that good then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrived at hers

She was wearing joggers and an old t shirt

Spent next hour ironing

Then told me it was time of the month

This was my first meet 6 years ago

It's then I knew swinging was for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i was still pretty much a fab virgin I had a guy message me promising me alsorts of sexual frivolities. When i got to his he asked me to suck his balls while he jizzed in my hair n then said cheers for that bye.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a guy for a social, so wasn't dressed up.He offered me a drink when I got there, said I'd have a coffee. He said he would too, and told me how he liked his and where the kettle and cups were lol

Had a quick chat, where he showed me his brothers profile on here, and the messages they'd exchanged

Then finished off by asking me if I'd like to fuck him, but I might not want to as he'd had diarrhoea that morning.Ewww. I didn't block him, I was so horrified I deleted my profile and lost my few veris I had!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday"

I take that as a compliment.

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By *aysmitMan
over a year ago

walsall

I have been shouted at 4 weeks ago by a lady for being a very heavy cummer

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Met a bloke off another site who wanted me to do all kinds of indescribable things to him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When i was still pretty much a fab virgin I had a guy message me promising me alsorts of sexual frivolities. When i got to his he asked me to suck his balls while he jizzed in my hair n then said cheers for that bye.

xxx"
and they say romance is dead haha

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By *ightfall79Man
over a year ago

Dunbartonshire

Not weirdest meet but weirdest sight.I done security years ago aat one of the national parks in Scotland.so meant doing night rounds and making sure nothing was being damaged.

This one night I could see dimmed car headlights in the park and the obvious sounds of sex.When I get closer I see this blonde over the car bonnet with a guuy doing her from behind and her stroking another guy from the side.

I shone the torch on them and the guy at the front calmly said "dont mind us we are just stargazing".

I could do nothing but laugh and just left them to it.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I once helped someone move a sofa up two flights of stairs on a meet. And once did something so utterly filthy and out of character in a train station I still can't quite believe I did it. It made perfect sense at the time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once helped someone move a sofa up two flights of stairs on a meet. And once did something so utterly filthy and out of character in a train station I still can't quite believe I did it. It made perfect sense at the time.

"
you can't leave it at that lol , what happened at the train station x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a guy who was very nervous. Asked if we could go for a walk together. Kept looking at my chest, and going oh my God, and breathing heavily. Kept asking me for a cuddle because he said he was scared. I managed 20 minutes in his company before I made my excuses... And that was walking g back to the car. So strange....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a threesome with a bloke who kept pumping away at me, saying how good my pussy felt, but it was just slapping against my thigh (seriously think heay have been a virgin) He cum within minutes and simultanuously let out a huge fart!

He then pestered me for days to meet him alone as seemed to think sex with him would be so much better than is was with my man!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I have never handed someone my knickers when getting off of a train....

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"I have never handed someone my knickers when getting off of a train...."

Oh, I've done that as well. Forgot that one. Bloody hell, I am a public transport liability!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We had a threesome with a bloke who kept pumping away at me, saying how good my pussy felt, but it was just slapping against my thigh (seriously think heay have been a virgin) He cum within minutes and simultanuously let out a huge fart!

He then pestered me for days to meet him alone as seemed to think sex with him would be so much better than is was with my man!"
And they say romance is dead!!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I have never handed someone my knickers when getting off of a train....

Oh, I've done that as well. Forgot that one. Bloody hell, I am a public transport liability!"

Neither has anyone had to say the 'spilt a drink' in their vehicle

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By *aysmitMan
over a year ago

walsall

"I have been shouted at 4 weeks ago by a lady for being a very heavy cummer "

Is being a very heavy cummer so bad ? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He then pestered me for days to meet him alone as seemed to think sex with him would be so much better than is was with my man!"

Hahahaha I am fucking crying here

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday

I take that as a compliment. "

*curtsys*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have never handed someone my knickers when getting off of a train...."

Feel free to do that to me

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

Meet a guy for a social & ended up doing his food shopping with him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you kneed him in the balls on your way out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very long time ago ( in a land far far away )

No sorry wrong story ....

Anyway - I joined a site when I was a bit tipsy so I didn't have a photo or profile text - I was a bit vanilla with all this hook up malarky .. but surprise surprise someone messaged me immediately and being a bit stoopid I invited them over to my friends house where I was house sitting without talking to them on the phone first.

I had about 30 mins to get ready so I ran around showering putting makeup on slutty underwear etc..

He arrived early and I opened the door to find someone that looked like their picture!

I couldn't believe it!

He looked a bit uncomfortable so I offered him a drink and we sat in the kitchen for all of 15 mins and he admitted that he thought he was meeting a man and that women shouldn't meet strangers off the internet!

He made his excuses and left!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first ever meet I had, on previous site, was a chap who had turned up to mine after a few months messaging. My kids were with their dad so I had the house to myself. I've only ever had two meets at mine and both were a disaster to be fair.

He rocks up in joggers and a White tshirt, looking

A bit sporty. We snog and then I throw him down on the sofa and pull his pants/joggers off. I then proceed to give him a BJ. He cums after what feels like seconds. He then says, "I've got to get something from the car, I'll be back now. " Thinking nothing of it, I say "ok". And sit partially clothed on my lounge floor.....waiting and waiting.

20 minutes later I realised he wasn't coming back.

That killed my self esteem for a good few months and then I had decent meets with good men and I never gave a BJ without me getting some ever again.

Live and learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the weirdest meet anyone has had or the strangest thing happen ? "

I met a couple who wanted me to call them mum and dad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the weirdest meet anyone has had or the strangest thing happen ?

I met a couple who wanted me to call them mum and dad"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A very long time ago ( in a land far far away )

No sorry wrong story ....

I had about 30 mins to get ready so I ran around showering putting makeup on slutty underwear etc..

He arrived early and I opened the door to find someone that looked like their picture!

I couldn't believe it!

He made his excuses and left!

That made me giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a meet?

I have done the moving furniture thing but nothing as outrageous as some of these.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday"

Agreed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was this big blonde woman, and five guys including me. We were all naked with her on the living room floor, and her invalid hubby was sat in his armchair watching.

We were taking out time with her pussy, ass, titties and mouth, and she was having a great time. Thing is her hubby wouldn't be quiet for one second, it was like a running commentary.

At one point I was on my knees with my tongue on her clitty and a finger up her bum, when he shouted, "I can see right up your arsehole," at me.

With that all the sexy thoughts I was having just went. I'm not usually sensitive, but this really put me off.

As I was getting dressed I was missing a sock, and the lovely lady opened her legs and invited me to search for it in her interier orifices.

I drove all the way to Bognor for that experience. Still laugh when I think about it to this day.

The lady lost her hubby some years ago and I haven't seen her online since. I guess she doesn't want to do it without him there anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cooked someone breakfast, nude, ate it with her then went to work.

That was hot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A long time ago now.

Meeting a guy who was 10 stone heavier than his photos.

I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I sat and had a drink then made my excuses and left.

I then received a really abusive message asking me why I wasted his time meeting if I wasn't going to fuck him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cooked someone breakfast, nude, ate it with her then went to work.

That was hot! "

Went to *work* or actually went to work?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"He cum within minutes and simultanuously let out a huge fart!

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By *inglehotchickWoman
over a year ago

blackpool

A social at a pub with a couple who had a huge argument. The male hadn't told the female we were meeting. She went ballistic and stormed off. Awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cooked someone breakfast, nude, ate it with her then went to work.

That was hot!

Went to *work* or actually went to work?"

Left her and went to the office!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walking around the ExCel London with vibrating knickers on will take some beating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah some of these made me (mr) laugh.

Good thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Walking around the ExCel London with vibrating knickers on will take some beating

Filth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy who was scared of my cat and jumped on the sofa to escape it. All rather surreal.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Weirdest thing was meeting my Oh on here. We just clicked and spent most of the evening chatting ... and some play, but it was the. First meet I had which wasn't a meet and run ...

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By *reygorCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

have posted to similar topic before .went to house meet ,and where greeted by trekies .the whole of one room was a replica of star ship enterprise .was hard not to laugh but they where proper at the role .we had to leave saying not for us .beam us up scotie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We were going to contribute, but our stories are quite boring compared to what it's in this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WTF??,

wasn't me...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

The one where, completely unscripted, he got d*unk and wanted me to drag him off, beat, piss on and then rape him.

I felt unnerved after that

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Guy who was scared of my cat and jumped on the sofa to escape it. All rather surreal. "

He must have been a bit of a pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Walking around the ExCel London with vibrating knickers on will take some beating

Oooh some lady did that in our local Tesco's and passed out from the pleasure

or it may have been a vibrating egg? It vibrated anyway!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

The one who mysteriously fucked off after 8 mins.

No idea why that happened.

"Gotta get something from the car."

Just went

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

"I have never handed someone my knickers when getting off of a train....

Oh, I've done that as well. Forgot that one. Bloody hell, I am a public transport liability!"

But first class.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"The one who mysteriously fucked off after 8 mins.

No idea why that happened.

"Gotta get something from the car."

Just went"

Yep, it's happened to me too as well

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"The one who mysteriously fucked off after 8 mins.

No idea why that happened.

"Gotta get something from the car."

Just went

Yep, it's happened to me too as well

*Never* happened to me before or since. Clearly not happy with something but... just vanished...

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"The one who mysteriously fucked off after 8 mins.

No idea why that happened.

"Gotta get something from the car."

Just went

Yep, it's happened to me too as well

Although in my defence, the guy in question did actually stop for about ½ hour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The one who mysteriously fucked off after 8 mins.

No idea why that happened.

"Gotta get something from the car."

Just went

Yep, it's happened to me too as well

Although in my defence, the guy in question did actually stop for about ½ hour

Was he Welsh? Wearing tracksuit bottoms?....

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"The one who mysteriously fucked off after 8 mins.

No idea why that happened.

"Gotta get something from the car."

Just went

Yep, it's happened to me too as well

Although in my defence, the guy in question did actually stop for about ½ hour

Was he Welsh? Wearing tracksuit bottoms?....

He spoke with a peculiar accent, not sure it was Welsh though. As for the tracky bottoms, no, he was suited & booted and had a bit of debonair about him, but as Joe said he just vanished, quite bizarre really, as we seemed to be getting along swimmingly

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I had an hour or so of tears from one celebrity, which killed the sex. Almost breakdown material - not typical of my famous friends and something I've not had any repeat of.

Other than that I had tears from a guy in public who was really nothing like his profile pics and details. He later got angry and accused me of timewasting- which seems a common theme amongst us!

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

There are some classics here that have seriously had me chuckling away...can't even come close to competing with any of those..although star prize goes to the gang bang with the invalid huaband providing commentary...still laughing at that one now.

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday"

Shhhhhh.

First rule of Tea Party.....

*taps nose......

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday

Shhhhhh.

First rule of Tea Party.....

*taps nose......"

It wasn't that weird?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday

Shhhhhh.

First rule of Tea Party.....

*taps nose......

It wasn't that weird?"

The time I went out to a club called The Duck Pond and found a (stunning) man on the dance floor in a dark suit and sunglasses, holding a briefcase and wearing a noose instead of a ties. He was just standing there. Not moving.

Took him home.

That was weird.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday

Shhhhhh.

First rule of Tea Party.....

*taps nose......

It wasn't that weird?"

I'm looking forward to the Manchester one which Mrs SB is organising

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A long time ago now.

Meeting a guy who was 10 stone heavier than his photos.

I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I sat and had a drink then made my excuses and left.

I then received a really abusive message asking me why I wasted his time meeting if I wasn't going to fuck him.

Ahhh them Offaly ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"London Tea Party Social on Saturday

Shhhhhh.

First rule of Tea Party.....

*taps nose......

It wasn't that weird?"

Shhhhhhhhhhhh

*creating an aura of mystery.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met an older gent from my previous profile, he gave me 3 large lovebites !

I was like - what are you ?

12 ?

6 months of abuse i got at work for that.

Total mood killer too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone stole one of my shoes on a meet.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a lady off fab at a bar in hull she met me outside and took me in at first glance it looked like any other bar but upon being introduced to her friends some of whom where butcher than u would expect I realised I was in a gay bar and some of her friends were TVs that looked like bad drag artists hence to say I couldn't compete in the interest department but she said if I had been a no show at least she would of been able to enjoy her night with friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Walking around the ExCel London with vibrating knickers on will take some beating

Oooh some lady did that in our local Tesco's and passed out from the pleasure

or it may have been a vibrating egg? It vibrated anyway!"

Omg noooo, that's hilarious

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By *abes in the woodWoman
over a year ago

wales

I met guy said all he do too me when he turn up he wank over me left mined you travel hour for that soon block him.another guy who fuk me stole my glasses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spent an hour driving to meet a guy who looked nothing like his pics when I got there...I politely accepted a cuppa but explained tactfully that I wasn't feeling it...not sure what put me off the most...the fact that he looked like Cliff Richard with Bugs Bunnys teeth after 40 years of sugar erosion, the dog slime covered sofa, or the three ferocious devil dogs that were trying to break through the door to eat me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone stole one of my shoes on a meet.....

_/"

Meeting one legged women with a shoe fetish again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone stole one of my shoes on a meet.....

Meeting one legged women with a shoe fetish again?"

Hoppit you.....

*apologies, it's all I could muster....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone stole one of my shoes on a meet.....

Meeting one legged women with a shoe fetish again?

Hoppit you.....

*apologies, it's all I could muster....

Feeling lacklustre buster?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone stole one of my shoes on a meet.....

_/"

I bet they sniff it to sleep every night...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone stole one of my shoes on a meet.....

Meeting one legged women with a shoe fetish again?

Hoppit you.....

*apologies, it's all I could muster....

Feeling lacklustre buster? "

I'm all of a fluster......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone stole one of my shoes on a meet.....

I bet they sniff it to sleep every night..."

Is that possible?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Met a guy for a social before work, he turned up in a dirty white transit.

All he did was slag off women on the site, calling them all time wasting bitches.

He kept trying to talk me into getting into the back of his van, after I'd already said no. And then repeated myself numerous times that no means no.

I made a quick exit. All I could think of was buffalo bill!

I then had a week of abuse off him for not verifying him.

"Rachel, why won't you verify me you bitch?".

My name isn't even Rachel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Met a guy for a social before work, he turned up in a dirty white transit.

All he did was slag off women on the site, calling them all time wasting bitches.

He kept trying to talk me into getting into the back of his van, after I'd already said no. And then repeated myself numerous times that no means no.

I made a quick exit. All I could think of was buffalo bill!

I then had a week of abuse off him for not verifying him.

"Rachel, why won't you verify me you bitch?".

My name isn't even Rachel

Sounds like a right arseholes lucky escape there then

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

It puts the lotion in the basket

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Not so much weird as innocent. Me I mean.

I met a younger bloke who took a phone call and said , ' Yeah, I've got the Erdinger in the back' ...........

I shit myself all that meet thinking it was a gun .......

He wet himself laughing. when I told him what i'd heard and he told me that Erdinger was beer !

ffs....... im not a beer type of woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Met a guy for a social before work, he turned up in a dirty white transit.

All he did was slag off women on the site, calling them all time wasting bitches.

He kept trying to talk me into getting into the back of his van, after I'd already said no. And then repeated myself numerous times that no means no.

I made a quick exit. All I could think of was buffalo bill!

I then had a week of abuse off him for not verifying him.

"Rachel, why won't you verify me you bitch?".

My name isn't even Rachel

Jesus Rachael that is spooky!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a bloke in a frock .... all my meets are weird..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've mentioned this one before.

A few years ago we met up at this guys house and his FB turned up later and we settled down to play.

He was enjoying himself but she seemed distracted.

The phone rang, which she answered, " Oh!, my house has exploded " she exclaimed and buggered off

We were dead impressed with, what we thought was,her safety word/message.

It later turned out her house had indeed exploded, her kitchen wall ended up in her back garden.

Oo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

xxx and they say romance is dead haha"

He still messages from time to time askim for round 2

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to a couples house for my very first meet - went in and as I did he locked the door behind me and pocketed the key... Hmmm

Sat down and they started quizzing me - she had a bible on the arm of the chair...

They asked about playing but heir questions were really strange... And so, I did what anyone else would do

Asked to go to the toilet - it was a ground floor flat - opened the window and legged it over the fence and away like a long dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To this day I am convinced they were some sort of direct action conversion squad to get the sinners!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saturday day time on FAB get a message of a couple asking if I was free that evening and did I accommodate. I thought I will play this cool as it’s a rare event to receive such correspondence. I replied in the affirmative. Over the next two hours we exchanged messages and pictures which led to a phone call. All was well on a cold Saturday and we arranged to meet at mine at 8pm.

Got out two bottles of a nice Lebanese red and made myself ready. All showered and fresh although I had a little debate on the aftershave as in Old Spice or Brut. In the end put both on and named it Old Brut! Door bell chimed at 8.05 very nice, invited my guests for the evening in and took their coats. It was a bit brass monkeyish outside so I offered drinks but we got straight in to the subject of wine and I opened a bottle. The conversation flowed and we got on very well. The lady asks to use the bathroom and I directed her to the ablutions whilst Eric and I chatted about music. The lady returns in, well not much and was very attractive indeed. She sat next to me and asked if I approved and after choking on the Ch Musar I had to agree.

At this point hubby bottled it and just got up and said he couldn’t do this announcing this was not what he wanted and he was going.What a bummer. I then spent two hours counselling them on the need to be 100% such that you want to invite someone into the intimate part of a relationship. Two hours and two bottles of Ch Musar!!!! It was not a total loss I managed to ease them out of the door in time to watch United on MoTD. Best laid plans of mice and swingers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Saturday day time on FAB get a message of a couple asking if I was free that evening and did I accommodate. I thought I will play this cool as it’s a rare event to receive such correspondence. I replied in the affirmative. Over the next two hours we exchanged messages and pictures which led to a phone call. All was well on a cold Saturday and we arranged to meet at mine at 8pm.

What a great guy you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going into the house of horrors!! Seriously the toilet didn't have a light so I winged it the first time I went, the second time I went that night, I took my phone.... how I didn't fall I'll I don't know. Shit up the was every where!!

Not to mention the brother with brain damage that in my own personal opinion should have been in a home as the mother was sat in her chair and I thought she was dead!! It was like the Texas chainsaw massacre!! (His brother would have been better cared for believe me in a home)

I only stayed because his bedroom was nice (the guy not the brother)..... he asked to see me again, I said no

G x

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

He met my mum and day, best friend and her other half all in one day...it was surreal...I'm shit at time management

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a great guy you are.

One try's Ms Harlot one try's

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"He met my mum and day, best friend and her other half all in one day...it was surreal...I'm shit at time management

Dad not day....and it was our first ever time meeting

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