FabSwingers.com forum: Office speak

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Office politics.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing? "

Sorry i'm late, traffic

Wouldn't mind, but it was usually my meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank fuck I've never worked in an office. I lack the diplomacy to listen to buzz word talk and I'd end up calling them all cocks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cow Path - it's not straight forward basically.

Silo thinking.

I dislike all that clap trap to be honest and just raise my eyebrows when they spout it all off.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank fuck I've never worked in an office. I lack the diplomacy to listen to buzz word talk and I'd end up calling them all cocks.

Me neither.

I reckon 5 hours and I'd be hanging out of a window like a dog in a moving car.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing?

Sorry i'm late, traffic

Wouldn't mind, but it was usually my meeting

Slacker!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cow Path - it's not straight forward basically.

Silo thinking.

I dislike all that clap trap to be honest and just raise my eyebrows when they spout it all off.

Sarah "

That's amoosing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing? "

Thinking out of the box.

Ring fencing....

The list is endless....

Drives me mental.

JUST SAY WHAT YOU FUCKING MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing?

Thinking out of the box.

Ring fencing....

The list is endless....

Drives me mental.

JUST SAY WHAT YOU FUCKING MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!"

I want the endless list though.

I'm working on a poem.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

As soon as someone mentioned "PowerPoint" I used to think

oh ffs..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing? "

The one that I really hate is "You're fired!!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing?

The one that I really hate is "You're fired!!""

Bit AMS isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good afternoon ( when you're one minute late)

Stop snoring

WTF are you doing under her desk?

Your fired!

That's all I'm afraid I only have one mornings experience

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good afternoon ( when you're one minute late)

Stop snoring

WTF are you doing under her desk?

Your fired!

That's all I'm afraid I only have one mornings experience"

Him or her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing?

Thinking out of the box.

Ring fencing....

The list is endless....

Drives me mental.

JUST SAY WHAT YOU FUCKING MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!

I want the endless list though.

I'm working on a poem.

That in itself is a good thing to read.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

Can't believe the god awful "Let's run that up the flagpole and see if it flies" hasn't been mentioned yet!!

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

During conference calls we often played wank-word bingo.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can't believe the god awful "Let's run that up the flagpole and see if it flies" hasn't been mentioned yet!!

Mr G"

You're not serious?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"During conference calls we often played wank-word bingo.....

Now that's bingo I'd like to play.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing?

Thinking out of the box.

Ring fencing....

The list is endless....

Drives me mental.

JUST SAY WHAT YOU FUCKING MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!

I want the endless list though.

I'm working on a poem.

That in itself is a good thing to read.

Mwah ya baldy beasht.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's touch base for a second

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chinese walls

Well round this up now and touch base again tomorrow morning

Morning Pitt stop meeting

I work in an office....and I absolutely hate it and most of the people I work with

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By *ife adventurerMan
over a year ago

North Essex

Let's get our ducks in a line

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By *oodlandCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

1. Thought shower - apprently 'brain storming' is offensive with those who has epilepsy.

2. Singing from the same hymn sheet.

3. It's on my radar

4. At the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Let's get our ducks in a line "

Great quack that I'd say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK guys let's take this one offline. (Still don't know what it means)

And by the way, we should sense check this before we go further and make sure it meat stakeholder aspirations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hot chick in accounts. (I've heard that said a few times. )

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Let's touch base for a second"

That sounds very American or am I thinking of baseball?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It needs to be done by end of play today"

I don't work in an effing playground

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK guys let's take this one offline. (Still don't know what it means)

And by the way, we should sense check this before we go further and make sure it meat stakeholder aspirations. "

Meat, steak.

Yum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""It needs to be done by end of play today"

I don't work in an effing playground

Are you suuuuuure?

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"Thank fuck I've never worked in an office. I lack the diplomacy to listen to buzz word talk and I'd end up calling them all cocks.

That's my problem. I lack the diplomacy to give a shit. I can't take such bollocks seriously. Anyone using such words automatically becomes a total bell end. So now I find myself surrounded by bell ends!

Whenever I hear phrases like "moving forward", "pop it in an e-mail" or something about "getting your ducks in order", a little part of me dies. I'm so in the wrong job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When people drop buzzwords or phrases into my meetings I put on my confused face and innocently ask them to explain what they mean.

Their expressions are frequently bewilderment.

It's great sport.

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

De Ja moo - same old bullshit

I sit in an office on my own to anything goes

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"Can't believe the god awful "Let's run that up the flagpole and see if it flies" hasn't been mentioned yet!!

Mr G"

Sadly yes!! Was years ago...but nearly fell off my chair when it came out in a meeting...and the person using it wasn't being funny either!!

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Touch Base drives me mad, why not just say catch up, i will catch up with you next week, nobody needs to touch anybodies Base

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Office bitching in the NHS is vile lol

Working with more women who are so bitchy does my nut in and I'm there boss lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds dreadful

I've never done office work but I work around office staff and I work with a few sniffers who want to be in the office....it's hilarious watching them..... like a hamster on a wheel

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

My gut feel is....

Ex boss said this all the time, tosspot of the highest order.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Office bitching in the NHS is vile lol

Working with more women who are so bitchy does my nut in and I'm there boss lmao

Mrsdpt is part of an all female management team and at times it's fucking ridiculous

people at work bitch but this is on a whole new level. Always trying to have one over on someone or get a knife stuck in somewhere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Office bitching in the NHS is vile lol

Working with more women who are so bitchy does my nut in and I'm there boss lmao

Mrsdpt is part of an all female management team and at times it's fucking ridiculous

people at work bitch but this is on a whole new level. Always trying to have one over on someone or get a knife stuck in somewhere. "

Mean girls!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Touch Base drives me mad, why not just say catch up, i will catch up with you next week, nobody needs to touch anybodies Base

Baseball I think.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

It's great at work

Shall we set some time aside to look over these targets and put a plan in place to smash them

Ok guys it's Monday let's have a fun happy week

We need to ensure that productivity and development are being kept at a higher level.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's great at work

Shall we set some time aside to look over these targets and put a plan in place to smash them

Ok guys it's Monday let's have a fun happy week

We need to ensure that productivity and development are being kept at a higher level.

Classic office speak bollocks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's great at work

Shall we set some time aside to look over these targets and put a plan in place to smash them

Ok guys it's Monday let's have a fun happy week

We need to ensure that productivity and development are being kept at a higher level.

Is everyone from Manhattan in your office?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked with a woman who constantly said basically.

Thankfully, I was on my own most of the time and didn't talk to myself.

In my school job it was all acronyms and abbreviations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's put this dog/granny/child to bed.

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Apart from all the bullshit acronyms I have to suffer the business business buzz words are just a way of sugar coating shit..

This is my interpretation of them...

Blue sky thinking - unachievable bollocks

Stove piped - one trick pony

Thinking outside the box - I've fucked up and desperate

Mission critical - I've fucked up and desperate

Put it on the back burner - I can't be arsed to so it now

Park that - I can't be arsed at all!!

Eat the frog - this task will make you sick

Run it up the flag pole - I'm a fuckwit!!

Shit sandwich - Business as usual

Fortunately my office is not very PC, so far today the office expletives have included bollocky bollocks, fuckwit, twat, bellend, fuck shite, cunt and today's best rant;fuck faced cock sucking knob jockey!!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"It's great at work

Shall we set some time aside to look over these targets and put a plan in place to smash them

Ok guys it's Monday let's have a fun happy week

We need to ensure that productivity and development are being kept at a higher level.

Classic office speak bollocks

This is education speak bollocks

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Net net !!!! Accounting speak

Material

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Net net !!!! Accounting speak

Material

Zzzz.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Net net !!!! Accounting speak

Material

Zzzz.

lol I have loads more but then I work for an American company....you get used to it lol

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Mission oriented

Leverage

Resource- maximizing

Enabling

Energized .

Re-purpose

Synergise

Inter-mandated

Holistic solution

Impactful

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

People get very *passionate* about things these days, I've noticed.

I'm passionate about resource-maximising the inner mandated office bull shit.

I don't play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deep dive"

"Ping" e.g. "I'll ping you an email" - you wot mate???

"Leverage"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mission oriented

Leverage

Resource- maximizing

Enabling

Energized .

Re-purpose

Synergise

Inter-mandated

Holistic solution

Impactful

Fucking hell Renard.

Say that to my face.

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

I may do sometime...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I may do sometime..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have noticed pretentious yuppy twats using the word cohesion far too much

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

My personal bugbear is 'cascade' since I am always the person asked to 'cascade' the information (or lack of) gleaned from a 4 hour arse numbing training session that has told me nothing I didn't already know just with new terminology and buzzwords involved to the one person in my department that never ever attends them and always gets away with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...gaining traction

workshop sessions

sandpit sessions

hub!!!! Everything is a Hub nowadays.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talking with a fellow fabber this morning about this got me thinking.

Blue sky thinking.

Glass ceiling.

Going forward.

Meetings, rumbling tummies.

Shit coffee.

Gossip.

I've never worked in an office.

I'm imagining.

What other over used phrases, adjectives am I missing? "

Ideation

Huddle

WIP - work in progress, not the fun kind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Deep dive"

"Ping" e.g. "I'll ping you an email" - you wot mate???

"Leverage"

Deep dive boils my piss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moving forward.

SLA's & KPI's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet you all still use them anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call centres are terrible for jargon. Advisers get crap for using jargon with customers but have to put up with it from their managers.

Taking ownership, that's my personal bugbear.

'you need to take ownership of your calls'

'what does that mean exactly?'

'*angry blank face*'

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"I bet you all still use them anyway.

Only with a sarcastic inflection. Although I may start using "let's interface on a basic level" instead of "fancy a fuck?" since that's only ever worked once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"let's interface on a basic level"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love playing social worker bingo....person centred approach, specific care plans, pipelines, outcomes blah blah blah!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My personal bugbear is 'cascade' since I am always the person asked to 'cascade' the information (or lack of) gleaned from a 4 hour arse numbing training session that has told me nothing I didn't already know just with new terminology and buzzwords involved to the one person in my department that never ever attends them and always gets away with it."

Hair or waterfalls should be the only use for cascade.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Moving forward.

SLA's & KPI's"

Huh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Moving forward.

SLA's & KPI's

Huh?"

Service level agreements and key performance indicators.

I want to punch myself just writing that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My "office" speak consists of someone saying "Can you do xxxx for me please" and me saying "ok".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Moving forward.

SLA's & KPI's

Huh?

Service level agreements and key performance indicators.

I want to punch myself just writing that. "

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Holy Mother of God.

I've lived a sheltered life and yes a punch is fairly justified.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Moving forward.

SLA's & KPI's

Huh?

Service level agreements and key performance indicators.

I want to punch myself just writing that. "

Would you like to borrow my hand

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Moving forward.

SLA's & KPI's

Huh?

Service level agreements and key performance indicators.

I want to punch myself just writing that.

Would you like to borrow my hand

That made me laugh.

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

L&D ?

London and Quadrant?

*shrugs*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Moving forward.

SLA's & KPI's

Huh?

Service level agreements and key performance indicators.

I want to punch myself just writing that.

Would you like to borrow my hand

Yes please, but not for the punch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Written warning

Disciplinary

Final warning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

L&D ?

London and Quadrant?

*shrugs*"

Learning and development.

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By *oi_LucyCouple
over a year ago

Barbados

I have a nice office on my own (see pic 13th sept in our profile) so luckily don't have to put up with much bullshit. The rest of my team are remote and great people with no bullshit. I was actually on a video conference call when Vik came to visit me I that pic above.

-Matt

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a nice office on my own (see pic 13th sept in our profile) so luckily don't have to put up with much bullshit. The rest of my team are remote and great people with no bullshit. I was actually on a video conference call when Vik came to visit me I that pic above.

-Matt "

You've just given me a flashback.

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

I always liked 'sharpening the saw'

Add to that:

Swot analysis

Behavioural influences

Calls answered in 3 rings

Robotic scripts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I bet you all still use them anyway.

Yep and I die a little inside.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always liked 'sharpening the saw'

Add to that:

Swot analysis

Behavioural influences

Calls answered in 3 rings

Robotic scripts

So grim.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G"

Is there a performance toolbelt?

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?"

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G"

I need to see it.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G"

I'm disgusted.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

I'm disgusted.

Would offer to contact HR (whatever happened to "Personnel"?) to see if I could pop round and give you a demo....but can't see that conversation going well

Mr G

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By *omt913Man
over a year ago

Leith

KPI

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Car park...

(sheet of paper with things they cant answer at a meeting)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

I'm disgusted.

Would offer to contact HR (whatever happened to "Personnel"?) to see if I could pop round and give you a demo....but can't see that conversation going well

Mr G"

Just make it happen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"KPI

Key performance indicators?

I'm morphing!

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

I'm disgusted.

Would offer to contact HR (whatever happened to "Personnel"?) to see if I could pop round and give you a demo....but can't see that conversation going well

Mr G

Just make it happen.

Yus M'lady!! Will there be anything else M'lady?

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

I'm disgusted.

Would offer to contact HR (whatever happened to "Personnel"?) to see if I could pop round and give you a demo....but can't see that conversation going well

Mr G

Just make it happen.

Yus M'lady!! Will there be anything else M'lady?

Mr G"

Oh so much more.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

I'm disgusted.

Would offer to contact HR (whatever happened to "Personnel"?) to see if I could pop round and give you a demo....but can't see that conversation going well

Mr G

Just make it happen.

Yus M'lady!! Will there be anything else M'lady?

Mr G

Oh so much more.

Sounds...interesting!!

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

I'm disgusted.

Would offer to contact HR (whatever happened to "Personnel"?) to see if I could pop round and give you a demo....but can't see that conversation going well

Mr G

Just make it happen.

Yus M'lady!! Will there be anything else M'lady?

Mr G

Oh so much more.

Sounds...interesting!!

Mr G"

I'd say so.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

I'm disgusted.

Would offer to contact HR (whatever happened to "Personnel"?) to see if I could pop round and give you a demo....but can't see that conversation going well

Mr G

Just make it happen.

Yus M'lady!! Will there be anything else M'lady?

Mr G

Oh so much more.

Sounds...interesting!!

Mr G

I'd say so."

*nods almost imperceptibly in agreement*

Mr G

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

Just trying to find stuff from 7 habits of highly effective people(great book..not!) and I came across this jargon website

Officelife dot com

Just wasted half hour giggling

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just trying to find stuff from 7 habits of highly effective people(great book..not!) and I came across this jargon website

Officelife dot com

Just wasted half hour giggling

Thanks darl.

I'm on it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

I'm disgusted.

Would offer to contact HR (whatever happened to "Personnel"?) to see if I could pop round and give you a demo....but can't see that conversation going well

Mr G

Just make it happen.

Yus M'lady!! Will there be anything else M'lady?

Mr G

Oh so much more.

Sounds...interesting!!

Mr G

I'd say so.

*nods almost imperceptibly in agreement*

Mr G"

Nice.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

"Accountability

K.I.T meetings

Performance reviews

Constructive feedback

Change forums

L&D plans

SMART objectives

Oh we go one better than a Performance Review....we have..wait for it...a Performance Workbench!!

Mr G

Is there a performance toolbelt?

Actually now you come to mention it there might be a Performance Toolkit!!

Mr G

I need to see it.

Now that might fall under the heading of company confidential

Mr G

I'm disgusted.

Would offer to contact HR (whatever happened to "Personnel"?) to see if I could pop round and give you a demo....but can't see that conversation going well

Mr G

Just make it happen.

Yus M'lady!! Will there be anything else M'lady?

Mr G

Oh so much more.

Sounds...interesting!!

Mr G

I'd say so.

*nods almost imperceptibly in agreement*

Mr G

Nice."

So glad you think so

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread has remind me of one of our favourite films, Office Space, might watch it tonight.

https://youtu.be/jsLUidiYm0w

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This thread has remind me of one of our favourite films, Office Space, might watch it tonight.

https://youtu.be/jsLUidiYm0w

Brilliant.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"This thread has remind me of one of our favourite films, Office Space, might watch it tonight.

https://youtu.be/jsLUidiYm0w

I have a regular squeeze who on a recent work away trip collected as many badges and pins as he could. The flair was immense. And also reminded me of that movie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread has remind me of one of our favourite films, Office Space, might watch it tonight.

https://youtu.be/jsLUidiYm0w

I have a regular squeeze who on a recent work away trip collected as many badges and pins as he could. The flair was immense. And also reminded me of that movie.

Did he wear enough flair?

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"This thread has remind me of one of our favourite films, Office Space, might watch it tonight.

https://youtu.be/jsLUidiYm0w

I have a regular squeeze who on a recent work away trip collected as many badges and pins as he could. The flair was immense. And also reminded me of that movie.

Did he wear enough flair? "

So much flair I felt dirty for still wanting to jump his bones the minute he got back. Whilst I urged him to pound me like I was a naughty printer.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"As soon as someone mentioned "PowerPoint" I used to think

oh ffs..

Don't worry, I have a power point presentation about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Onboarding

Makes me want to waterboard the person who says it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Onboarding

Makes me want to waterboard the person who says it"

Feck you resurrecting this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's great that we should all touch base again after the short hiatus. We need some sparkly new ideas from the outside the box under the blue sky. Will ping you all laters peoples.

Wayne Kerr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who the fuck has left the photocopier with a paper jam again!!!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Who the fuck has left the photocopier with a paper jam again!!!'"

People still use those?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Who the fuck has left the photocopier with a paper jam again!!!'

People still use those? "

Where I work is stuck in the 1990's lol.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"Thank fuck I've never worked in an office. I lack the diplomacy to listen to buzz word talk and I'd end up calling them all cocks.

"
this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Touch base

Keep in the loop

Rationalise

Align synergies

Steering committee

Working groups

Agile methadology

SWOT analysis

Core objectives

Greenfield

Tactical approach

Strategic approach

Back of a fag packet

Estimation effort

ROM

SWAG

Headcount

FTE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Touch base

Keep in the loop

Rationalise

Align synergies

Steering committee

Working groups

Agile methadology

SWOT analysis

Core objectives

Greenfield

Tactical approach

Strategic approach

Back of a fag packet

Estimation effort

ROM

SWAG

Headcount

FTE

I got palpitations just reading that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Touch base

Keep in the loop

Rationalise

Align synergies

Steering committee

Working groups

Agile methadology

SWOT analysis

Core objectives

Greenfield

Tactical approach

Strategic approach

Back of a fag packet

Estimation effort

ROM

SWAG

Headcount

FTE

I got palpitations just reading that. "

Hehehe, that,s just a starter for 10

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Back to the well. Wtf it means I have no idea but sounds profund.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Touch base

Keep in the loop

Rationalise

Align synergies

Steering committee

Working groups

Agile methadology

SWOT analysis

Core objectives

Greenfield

Tactical approach

Strategic approach

Back of a fag packet

Estimation effort

ROM

SWAG

Headcount

FTE

Ryan, seriously.

No.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Back to the well. Wtf it means I have no idea but sounds profund."

Drink the water?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's great that we should all touch base again after the short hiatus. We need some sparkly new ideas from the outside the box under the blue sky. Will ping you all laters peoples.

Wayne Kerr"

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Thanks god "Happy bunnies" is no longer used in the office.

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