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When to be harsh?

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By *iver2015 OP   Woman
over a year ago

middlesbrough

I've had men message me and I've been open, honest and respectful when I haven't found someone to my liking. I'm not being rude. We all have types but I've had several people saying they're going to give up on here now or just continuing the messages and winks. I'm polite but to the point and it's pissing me off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its just the desperation gene coming out.

I simply say no, not for me right now. And I have started blocking as the #but why convos do my head in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just block people if they're pestering you, can't see the problem.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If what you're doing on the site isn't making you happy, then change what you're doing. If you don't want to reply to men, just block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give an example of what you would say as a no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find ignoring them n block deleting weekly is working well for me. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had men message me and I've been open, honest and respectful when I haven't found someone to my liking. I'm not being rude. We all have types but I've had several people saying they're going to give up on here now or just continuing the messages and winks. I'm polite but to the point and it's pissing me off. "

Interactions on fab have an element which can cause issues; that element is called "ego"... egos are fragile things (mine was bruised on Friday for example), it is managing egos which is the challenge for both the person sending and the person receiving.

Egos hate choice or to be more succinct egos hate other people's choices if they aren't chosen.... we all take a hit, if we can remain friends with the person after, it is a sign that actually this person isn't so bad; we aren't attracted but we aren't put off...

Everyone on this site has the ability to behave like a kicked puppy (I can be a right shit).. but acceptance is the egos nemesis... if we accept and respect others choices, chances are we will be happier peeps. If those you reject cannot accept your choices, then it is best to block them and move on; let them play out their drama without you...

My friend calls this big boy pants... when you find guys that wear these, fab will be a better place. Good luck.

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By *iver2015 OP   Woman
over a year ago

middlesbrough

I'd say, "thank you for the message but you're not what I'm looking for. Good luck with your search". The other night a guy was was saying how he'll never try again and he's worthless etc. I want to be nice but I also wanted to tell him to just get lost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I reply which is a big if,I say a quick ~" no thank you " & that's where it ends,I don't enter into any further discussions with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd say, "thank you for the message but you're not what I'm looking for. Good luck with your search". The other night a guy was was saying how he'll never try again and he's worthless etc. I want to be nice but I also wanted to tell him to just get lost. "

Just ignore them then. You're not being rude. As others have said they are just playing the 'sympathy fuck' card. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd say, "thank you for the message but you're not what I'm looking for. Good luck with your search". The other night a guy was was saying how he'll never try again and he's worthless etc. I want to be nice but I also wanted to tell him to just get lost. "

I used to say similar then get differing replies, the abusive ones, the why not ones etc so then I just decided to send that message and block, saves any comeback and if you're not interested it filters them (and you) out of any future searches you both do.

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By *iver2015 OP   Woman
over a year ago

middlesbrough


" Just ignore them then. You're not being rude. As others have said they are just playing the 'sympathy fuck' card. x"

Cheers. I'm relatively new in terms of being active on here. I'm not a mug but I don't want to be a dick either. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell them if it's a yes / no / maybe.

And let them know not to try again. Or block if you don't want anymore contact.

How you word your reply is up to you.

'Up yours ugly, not a cat in hells will I fuck you, but I'm willing to shoot the breeze with you anytime!" - This might need some work

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


" Just ignore them then. You're not being rude. As others have said they are just playing the 'sympathy fuck' card. x

Cheers. I'm relatively new in terms of being active on here. I'm not a mug but I don't want to be a dick either. x"

It's a tricky one. But meeting or continuing to talk to someone you really don't want to is totally counter-productive. It's hard when you're naturally a people pleaser, but has to be done. It's the hardest thing about being on here for me but I have learnt that most people just move on and don't care so my attempts at avoiding hurting their feelings just prolongs the issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/ZJSQxbedplM

Sorry couldn't resist... it's too beautiful...

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

I will say

"thank you for the message /compliment

Sorry though you're not for me "

I never used to block however lately I have changed.

It stops the multiple follow ups/abuse and also means months down the line they don't message again.

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By *iver2015 OP   Woman
over a year ago

middlesbrough


" 'Up yours ugly, not a cat in hells will I fuck you, but I'm willing to shoot the breeze with you anytime!" - This might need some work"

Well that's me sorted with my replies! Thank you!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I've had men message me and I've been open, honest and respectful when I haven't found someone to my liking. I'm not being rude. We all have types but I've had several people saying they're going to give up on here now or just continuing the messages and winks. I'm polite but to the point and it's pissing me off.

Interactions on fab have an element which can cause issues; that element is called "ego"... egos are fragile things (mine was bruised on Friday for example), it is managing egos which is the challenge for both the person sending and the person receiving.

Egos hate choice or to be more succinct egos hate other people's choices if they aren't chosen.... we all take a hit, if we can remain friends with the person after, it is a sign that actually this person isn't so bad; we aren't attracted but we aren't put off...

Everyone on this site has the ability to behave like a kicked puppy (I can be a right shit).. but acceptance is the egos nemesis... if we accept and respect others choices, chances are we will be happier peeps. If those you reject cannot accept your choices, then it is best to block them and move on; let them play out their drama without you...

My friend calls this big boy pants... when you find guys that wear these, fab will be a better place. Good luck."

You behave like a little shit? I don't believe it

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

If we say no thanks and someone keeps messaging we block,same if we get no reply or a no thanks.It saves wasting anymore time.

Miss

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


" Just ignore them then. You're not being rude. As others have said they are just playing the 'sympathy fuck' card. x

Cheers. I'm relatively new in terms of being active on here. I'm not a mug but I don't want to be a dick either. x

It's a tricky one. But meeting or continuing to talk to someone you really don't want to is totally counter-productive. It's hard when you're naturally a people pleaser, but has to be done. It's the hardest thing about being on here for me but I have learnt that most people just move on and don't care so my attempts at avoiding hurting their feelings just prolongs the issue."

Totally get the people pleasing comment. That was us, now we don't think twice, we'll be polite but when we have zero interest conversation ceases after the initial politeness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im so much tougher now than i used to be - only really bother to chat with people i want to meet in any scenario - odd exceptions as with most things in life

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