FabSwingers.com forum: Sofie Ellis Bexter once said.....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There's a murder on the dance floor but you better not kill the groove.

Obviously this is madness gone mad. The police should be called and the area sealed off so the investigation could begin. The music would be stopped for sure.

What other songs contravene health & safety regulations or just plain old common sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firestarter

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good call. I saw the Prodigy at Glastonbury. He was on stage admitting to starting fires. Plenty of Police there. Typically, they did nothing at all.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

Roy Orbison

said in one of his songs...."I drove all night, crept in your room, is that alright? "

No it's not bloody alright Roy, it's a bit creepy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No Roy is the man.

Another song though that is creepy. ...

Jim'll fix it for you...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm shocked by Roy. I expected better from him.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"I'm shocked by Roy. I expected better from him.

I just remembered the next line of the song and it's even more freaky....."Crept in your room, to make love to you, is that alright?"

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

"Roy Orbison

said in one of his songs...."I drove all night, crept in your room, is that alright? "

No it's not bloody alright Roy, it's a bit creepy! "

Cyndi Lauper sang it first.

Which begs the question, if it's a woman, is it as creepy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Roy Orbison

said in one of his songs...."I drove all night, crept in your room, is that alright? "

No it's not bloody alright Roy, it's a bit creepy!

Cyndi Lauper sang it first.

Which begs the question, if it's a woman, is it as creepy? "

Yes it is probably more creepy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm shocked by Roy. I expected better from him.

I just remembered the next line of the song and it's even more freaky....."Crept in your room, to make love to you, is that alright?"

If you've been effected by any of the Orbermeisters lyrics. Feel free to call our help line.

555 555565

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

starship.... we built this city... " we built this city on rock and roll" probably not the best foundations for building a city...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Poodle haired rock mammouth, Robert Plant once claimed that it had been a long time since he'd rock n rolled.

Highly unlikely Robert. Considering you were the lead vocalist of Led Zeppelin at the time.

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

"Poodle haired rock mammouth, Robert Plant once claimed that it had been a long time since he'd rock n rolled.

Highly unlikely Robert. Considering you were the lead vocalist of Led Zeppelin at the time.

I'm a bit concerned about that stairway to heaven as well.. what about the disabled access..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Poodle haired rock mammouth, Robert Plant once claimed that it had been a long time since he'd rock n rolled.

Highly unlikely Robert. Considering you were the lead vocalist of Led Zeppelin at the time.

I'm a bit concerned about that stairway to heaven as well.. what about the disabled access.. "

Well spotted. Many shops, bars and restaurants have no access facilities to aid people with disabilities. You'd expect heaven to be a lot more on the ball.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every breath you take

Every move you make

Every bond you break

Every step you take

I'll be watching you.

Pretty sure Sting would should have some kind of restraining order put over him for this obvious stalking!

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By *tillwaterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

She has a head like a piece of toblerone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shook me all night long.

That could cause quite nasty injuries to the brain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come on Eileen.

Has Eileen given consent? Is she into bukkake?

You need to clear these things up Mr Rowland.

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

She was Just 17

Thats fucking Risky Paul McCartney......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Find me somebody' to love certainly sounds like soliciting and being done in the Queens name as well.

Scandalous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Come on Eileen.

Has Eileen given consent? Is she into bukkake?

You need to clear these things up Mr Rowland. "

Hahaha thats brilliant!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'I shot the Sheriff but I didn't shoot the Deputy' - well Bob either do the job properly or don't agree to first degree murder ffs!!

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

There's a starman waiting in the sky.

I believe this was an ill advised security slip by bowie as world governments and space agencies have kept this information firmly under wraps for fear of world panic.

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Brown sugar how come you taste so good?

Brown sugar just like a young girl should

Other Skin colours are available

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Poodle haired rock mammouth, Robert Plant once claimed that it had been a long time since he'd rock n rolled.

Highly unlikely Robert. Considering you were the lead vocalist of Led Zeppelin at the time.

I'm a bit concerned about that stairway to heaven as well.. what about the disabled access.. "

Ah but I think the remix 'Stannah Stair lift to Heaven' covers the Diversity Act beautifully lol.

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By *layer oneMan
over a year ago

mirfield

Des'ree told me once that he don't want to see a ghost, It's the sight that he fear most but rather have a piece of toast as he Watched the evening news... strange

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By *OOM696969Man
over a year ago

BRIDLINGTON

[Removed by poster at 16/10/16 07:24:00]

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

"Des'ree told me once that he don't want to see a ghost, It's the sight that he fear most but rather have a piece of toast as he Watched the evening news... strange"

I think he was lying when he told you he was des'ree

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

My sex is on fire.

I bloody hope not

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds...

Had the checks been done?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat

I rammed my cock right down its throat

So what, so what

So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well Metallica i'll tell you so What, thats a clear confession of beastity

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By *OOM696969Man
over a year ago

BRIDLINGTON

Up and down the Boulevard..wtf were Journey doing in Hull

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

"I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat

I rammed my cock right down its throat

So what, so what

So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well Metallica i'll tell you so What, thats a clear confession of beastity"

Best not mention last caress, for that register worthy confession then.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

And if a double-decker bus

Crashes into us

To die by your side

Is such a heavenly way to die

You might think that's a good way to go Morrissey, I disagree.

Also who was driving?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Golden brown texture like sun", well Mr Cornwell heroin's bad enough for your health as it is without it being a gas plasma at 5,500C!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do…

Now, if that's not dangerous, I don't know what is. You need to be holding on with both hands, surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

killing me softly with his song - hmmm

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By *ime for me21Man
over a year ago

skeg

"Roy Orbison

said in one of his songs...."I drove all night, crept in your room, is that alright? "

No it's not bloody alright Roy, it's a bit creepy!

Cyndi Lauper sang it first.

Which begs the question, if it's a woman, is it as creepy?

Yes it is probably more creepy."

It was written for Roy orbison and he recorded it first but not realised till he died

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By *tillwaterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"killing me softly with his song - hmmm"

Which was better tho , Roberta flack version or the fugees

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"killing me softly with his song - hmmm

Which was better tho , Roberta flack version or the fugees"

i like roberta flack

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

Tracey Thorn from Everything but the Girl sings "....and I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain" in their smash hit "Miss You".

Deserts don't miss the rain - they are finely tuned, thriving ecosystems that have adapted over time to live with limited waters.

It's always concerned me that Tracey Thorn spends her downtime poncing around deserts throwing masses of water around, endangering their health and well-being in a misguided attempt to be helpful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tracey Thorn from Everything but the Girl sings "....and I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain" in their smash hit "Miss You".

Deserts don't miss the rain - they are finely tuned, thriving ecosystems that have adapted over time to live with limited waters.

It's always concerned me that Tracey Thorn spends her downtime poncing around deserts throwing masses of water around, endangering their health and well-being in a misguided attempt to be helpful."

Pmsl

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

AC/DC sang Run to the Hills!

way to go Mr Johnson! Cause mass panic why don't you!

May be he should have sang, 'run to the hills but try and join an organised fell running event and maybe take an ordnance survey map with you! And don't forget public rights of way!' .....

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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

The whole "catching a grenade " thingy should be looked at

Nothing to do with safety but often wondered how he didnt know if he was "living in a card board box "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat

I rammed my cock right down its throat

So what, so what

So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well Metallica i'll tell you so What, thats a clear confession of beastity

Best not mention last caress, for that register worthy confession then.

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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"AC/DC sang Run to the Hills!

way to go Mr Johnson! Cause mass panic why don't you!

May be he should have sang, 'run to the hills but try and join an organised fell running event and maybe take an ordnance survey map with you! And don't forget public rights of way!' ....."

Thought that was Iron maiden

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By *helonewolfMan
over a year ago

Teesside

"Tracey Thorn from Everything but the Girl sings "....and I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain" in their smash hit "Miss You".

Deserts don't miss the rain - they are finely tuned, thriving ecosystems that have adapted over time to live with limited waters.

It's always concerned me that Tracey Thorn spends her downtime poncing around deserts throwing masses of water around, endangering their health and well-being in a misguided attempt to be helpful."

Hahaha! Someone give this guy a cookie or something! Best response yet

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By *helonewolfMan
over a year ago

Teesside

"AC/DC sang Run to the Hills!

way to go Mr Johnson! Cause mass panic why don't you!

May be he should have sang, 'run to the hills but try and join an organised fell running event and maybe take an ordnance survey map with you! And don't forget public rights of way!' ....."

Mate that was Maiden! You can't go confusing a classic like that!! Delete your comment immediately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cause you ride on time

'Cause you ride on time, ride on time

'Cause you ride on time

'Cause you ride on time, ride on time

Oh my god luv get the basics right It's RIGHT on time and to repeat it over and over is just sloppy! Sloppy I tell ya!!

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"Tracey Thorn from Everything but the Girl sings "....and I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain" in their smash hit "Miss You".

Deserts don't miss the rain - they are finely tuned, thriving ecosystems that have adapted over time to live with limited waters.

It's always concerned me that Tracey Thorn spends her downtime poncing around deserts throwing masses of water around, endangering their health and well-being in a misguided attempt to be helpful."

Miss Thorn should get together with those Finn brothers, then we could nab them a cart them off to a place of safety 'Always Take the Weather with you?' Its an ecological disaster waiting to happen...

These over=rated and over paid pop stars and pop combos have a lot to answer for!

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"AC/DC sang Run to the Hills!

way to go Mr Johnson! Cause mass panic why don't you!

May be he should have sang, 'run to the hills but try and join an organised fell running event and maybe take an ordnance survey map with you! And don't forget public rights of way!' .....

Mate that was Maiden! You can't go confusing a classic like that!! Delete your comment immediately

Oops! My bad

and I don't even know who Iron Maidens lead singer is! its still irresponsible advice, whoever it was!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wanna lay you down on a bed of roses

(hope you've taken the thorns off)

For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails

(Typical man exaggerating)

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By *taffs_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Bloodsport for all, said Corporal Flash

And shoved me in a room full of C.S. gas

Stuck me in a wet-suit to dry off in the sun

And fed me pet food, Kit-e-kat and Chum".

We'll Corporal flash, if her majesty finds out about these serious acts of cruelty from one who should know better you will get be getting a serious arse kicking.

Fancy feeding them pet food, you really need to give them a nice, nutritious meal to prepare them for the arduous times ahead in battle.

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

Don't let the sun go down on me.

That really is stating the obvious Elton. You'd be frazzled to a crisp if it got to within about 90 million miles of you.

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By *orkDefenderMan
over a year ago

Just East of Wakefield

Bruce Springsteen was 'Racing In The Streets'

Men Without Hats (Aussie Band of late 90s) were certainly HSE confomative, with their 'Safety Dance' single

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Disco Inferno...

Did nobody do a Fire Risk Assessment and Evacuation plan?

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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago

West Kent (near Tonbridge)

"AC/DC sang Run to the Hills!

way to go Mr Johnson! Cause mass panic why don't you!

May be he should have sang, 'run to the hills but try and join an organised fell running event and maybe take an ordnance survey map with you! And don't forget public rights of way!' .....

Mate that was Maiden! You can't go confusing a classic like that!! Delete your comment immediately

Oops! My bad

and I don't even know who Iron Maidens lead singer is! its still irresponsible advice, whoever it was!"

Bruce Dickinson...well for most of the time. They also advocated bringing your daughter to the slaughter, which in my view is highly questionable parenting!

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

"Tracey Thorn from Everything but the Girl sings "....and I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain" in their smash hit "Miss You".

Deserts don't miss the rain - they are finely tuned, thriving ecosystems that have adapted over time to live with limited waters.

It's always concerned me that Tracey Thorn spends her downtime poncing around deserts throwing masses of water around, endangering their health and well-being in a misguided attempt to be helpful.

Hahaha! Someone give this guy a cookie or something! Best response yet

I'll go for the something.

This is slightly off-topic, but it's hard when a song you love has a lyric that drives you mad because it's......bollocks.

There a beautiful old soul tune called Today I Started Loving You Again by the wonderful Betty Swann.

I can't listen to the damn thing because she sings (beautifully):

"I'm right back where I started from

Where I've always been".

Every time I heard it I had an uncontrollable urge to yell "if you're back where you started, you must have left there". arrggghhhh!

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

"Tracey Thorn from Everything but the Girl sings "....and I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain" in their smash hit "Miss You".

Deserts don't miss the rain - they are finely tuned, thriving ecosystems that have adapted over time to live with limited waters.

It's always concerned me that Tracey Thorn spends her downtime poncing around deserts throwing masses of water around, endangering their health and well-being in a misguided attempt to be helpful.

These over=rated and over paid pop stars and pop combos have a lot to answer for!

Very true that.

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

"Every breath you take

Every move you make

Every bond you break

Every step you take

I'll be watching you.

Pretty sure Sting would should have some kind of restraining order put over him for this obvious stalking!"

side note to that he followed it up with if you love somebody set them free both songs were for the same person as he realised the every breath song was a tad stalkerish

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

"AC/DC sang Run to the Hills!

way to go Mr Johnson! Cause mass panic why don't you!

May be he should have sang, 'run to the hills but try and join an organised fell running event and maybe take an ordnance survey map with you! And don't forget public rights of way!' ....."

That would be Iron Maiden

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat

I rammed my cock right down its throat

So what, so what

So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well Metallica i'll tell you so What, thats a clear confession of beastity"

Actually, that was by the Anti Nowhere League. I'd get yourself some legal representation immediately as the drummer of Metallica, "Lars", does like taking people to court.

I'm happy to represent you. But. I'm expensive and don't know what I'm doing.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

Yaz sang....."The only way is up, baby! "

No Yaz, it's better when people go down on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bizarre Inc. Playing with knives... come on ffs someones going to get hurt here for sure

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Freddie Mercury said "We will rock you."

Well stoning people is definitely not legal.

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By *ickerish AllsortsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I was always slightly alarmed that Freddy Mercury never faced trial for his claims that he shot a man in the head at point blank range.

It's typical of the justice system today that you can get away with this kind of behaviour if you're a celebrity.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

Dancing on the ceiling, well Lionel have you invented some kind of anti gravity device? Quick patent it and then flog it to NASA you'll be quids in.

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By *ongtalljonMan
over a year ago

North Wales

Walking on Sunshine - is more miraculous than walking on water

You Needed Me - is this the bread bakers anthem?

Zip - A - De - Doodah - I did that once and it really, really hurt. Never going commando again!

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Many people (including Ella Fitzgerald, whose version is my fave) have sung that "there's no love song finer but how strange the change from major to minor" when the chords actually go from minor to major. Which makes it not strange at all, just harmonically and compositionally inaccurate.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

Agadoo do do, push Pineapples up the tree.

Errr, and what purpose does that serve then?

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Dancing on the ceiling, well Lionel have you invented some kind of anti gravity device? Quick patent it and then flog it to NASA you'll be quids in.

I was going with this one (wracked my brains for too long again!)

Me DDC tried it once and put his foot through our bathroom ceiling.

Mrs DDC

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

"There's a murder on the dance floor but you better not kill the groove.

Obviously this is madness gone mad. The police should be called and the area sealed off so the investigation could begin. The music would be stopped for sure.

What other songs contravene health & safety regulations or just plain old common sense?

"Get ya mota runnin'. Get out on the highway".

I'm afraid, Steppenwolf, that you have not been successful at your driving examination this time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Many people (including Ella Fitzgerald, whose version is my fave) have sung that "there's no love song finer but how strange the change from major to minor" when the chords actually go from minor to major. Which makes it not strange at all, just harmonically and compositionally inaccurate."

Well spotted. Perhaps they were deliberately misleading the public to cut down on plagiarism. Either way. A lie is a lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back in 1977 Blondie was very aggressive to another female and released a song about it called "Rip her to shred's" nothing was done about this and she still releases music and tour's to this day

, there's just no justice in the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Roy Orbison

said in one of his songs...."I drove all night, crept in your room, is that alright? "

No it's not bloody alright Roy, it's a bit creepy!

Cyndi Lauper sang it first.

Which begs the question, if it's a woman, is it as creepy? "
depends if she likes to boil rabbits I guess

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By *ostafunMan
over a year ago

near ipswich

annie lennox sang walking on broken glass i think she should have pointed out that you should wear a stout pair of boots for this practice the nhs is under enough pressure as it is without her encouraging people to act in a irresponsable manner.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And no Cliff Richard, We're not all going on a summer holiday as some of us are still recovering from the economic collapse of 2008!

Yeah yeah. We all know you've made a few quid with your pop music. But there's no need to rub it in peoples faces.

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By *ime for me21Man
over a year ago

skeg

Most of the lyrics in mmmm mmmm by the crash test dummies are just plain wrong

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