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When you have a meet but there not what you hoped for

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We havent had any meets for a while after taking a break. And im (D) planning on having my first meet soon on my own and its something we havent done before as we have only had mmf in the past. Just wondering what people do when they turn up to a meet and they either dont find the person attractive or they dont click for one reason or another. how do you deal with that situation? I would feel pretty uncomfortable turning someone down and wouldnt really know how to say I didnt want to carry on the evening. The meet I have planned doesnt seem to be heading that way though and im excited about it so its not to do with this meet just a question in general xx

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

It's not usual for me to not get on with the person on the social meet, as I get a feeling for them through chatting in here first, and if that goes well, a phone chat next. As far as turning someone down, just say the words. You'll both know it's not going to happen within the first 10 minutes

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I meet socially first if going on my own. If I don't want sex I simply stay have a drink and leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say I find them a nice person, but don't fancy them to sleep with them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x

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By *ureTemptationWoman
over a year ago

Off the grid

This is why I never play on a first meet and always have a social first. Feels like a job interview sometimes. But a sexy one.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x"

Better to upset someone by politely refusing them than to insult them by having sex when you don't find them attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why generally I don't play on a first meet and do socials first, recently I have twice and both times the sex was great but they were both only meant to be socials so them or I could walk away at any time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why it's easier to have a social first ... then if you don't click for whatever reason, it's easier to just walk away

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x

Better to upset someone by politely refusing them than to insult them by having sex when you don't find them attractive."

Oh yes deffinately wouldnt go ahead just because I didnt want to upset someone I just wanted to see how people would handle the situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the other posters, this is why socials are a very good idea.you can get a real feel for a person then and decide if you want to go to the next level

Beard

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

A car meet on a public car park for an initial chat .... make it clear from the start that if either of you dont find the other interesting or attractive ... you just part on good terms ... good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes and like someone said if more happend on a social then its a bonus but if it wasnt right then nothing would be expected. Excited / nervous to be going it alone haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social first. I've had socials where I haven't really wanted a second meet and I had socials where the other person/persons have wanted a second meet. I'd rather that than have a play meet first where you turn up and the spark/attraction isn't there on either side

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x

Better to upset someone by politely refusing them than to insult them by having sex when you don't find them attractive.

Oh yes deffinately wouldnt go ahead just because I didnt want to upset someone I just wanted to see how people would handle the situation. "

I understand. Social only first is how we handle it both parties have a get out clause that way

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x

Better to upset someone by politely refusing them than to insult them by having sex when you don't find them attractive.

Oh yes deffinately wouldnt go ahead just because I didnt want to upset someone I just wanted to see how people would handle the situation.

I understand. Social only first is how we handle it both parties have a get out clause that way "

Yep its common sense really haha I didnt need to ask I should just make sure when im meeting alone I have a social first and if im with W on a meet and I dont like the person he can be the one to break the bad news for me haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I try to just meet socially first. I've met people for a drink or coffee and not ended up taking it further, and it's never been a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only once not had a social first, fortunately it worked out pretty well!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"We havent had any meets for a while after taking a break. And im (D) planning on having my first meet soon on my own and its something we havent done before as we have only had mmf in the past. Just wondering what people do when they turn up to a meet and they either dont find the person attractive or they dont click for one reason or another. how do you deal with that situation? I would feel pretty uncomfortable turning someone down and wouldnt really know how to say I didnt want to carry on the evening. The meet I have planned doesnt seem to be heading that way though and im excited about it so its not to do with this meet just a question in general xx"

Have a social meet first, making it clear there's no "obligation" to play. A picture, telephone conversation can only do so much. Sometimes the chemistry isn't there or they say/do something that sets of red flags/put you off.

I've dodged many a bullet having a social.

Good luck!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I meet socially first if going on my own. If I don't want sex I simply stay have a drink and leave. "

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"This is why I never play on a first meet and always have a social first. Feels like a job interview sometimes. But a sexy one. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for all your advice wish me luck on my solo adventures

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's better to deal with it as quickly as possible - so that someone else isn't building their expectations about what is to come. Just thank them for meeting and state that you're not going to continue with the liaison. It's unreasonable for someone to push you for great details upon your decision but if requested, explain that you're not interested or attracted. If it's uncomfortable then, I'd finish much quicker and leave or ask them to leave. As far as possible I like to retain good positive feelings, whilst telling them to fuck off, if they've deceived me.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

You'll need to update us on how it goes. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's better to deal with it as quickly as possible - so that someone else isn't building their expectations about what is to come. Just thank them for meeting and state that you're not going to continue with the liaison. It's unreasonable for someone to push you for great details upon your decision but if requested, explain that you're not interested or attracted. If it's uncomfortable then, I'd finish much quicker and leave or ask them to leave. As far as possible I like to retain good positive feelings, whilst telling them to fuck off, if they've deceived me."

I could deffo handle myself if things ever turned nasty typical red head and all that but I hopefully will choose my meets well and wouldnt end up with a person who may get a cob on. I would feel worse if they were really nice and i just didnt fancy them byt again a social first seems to solve all these issues. I will let everyone know how i get on cant wait hope its all i want it to be

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By *he Gentleman CallerMan
over a year ago

Southampton

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