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I have a question....

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

So say for example you meet someone in the "scene" and you start seeing them as a bit more than a bloke that you shag and spend huge amounts of time with them...and it comes to a close and said bloke said I'll give you some advice meet someone away from the scene as it's not "healthy"

My question is do you think it's unhealthy to meet someone on the scene rather than meeting say in a pub? Is it not up to them to ensure that a healthy relationship is formed?

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

Only unhealthy if the feelings aren't mutual me thinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. If you want marriage kids etc. Start with the relationship. Swinging may develop or you may not need it at all. X

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Yes. If you want marriage kids etc. Start with the relationship. Swinging may develop or you may not need it at all. X"

I get your point indeedy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes. If you want marriage kids etc. Start with the relationship. Swinging may develop or you may not need it at all. X

I get your point indeedy "

We waited 17 years to make it "official"!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I think we meet people where we meet them. The more we are out and about the more people we meet. If you go to swingers clubs and are on swinger sites you are bound to meet swingers, simple. The truth about your 'hobby' is out there straight away. If you for example did yoga and blogged about yoga then you would meet other people that did yoga.

I guess because swinging is also about the sexual side of things the the conversation about where you both go with it needs to happy quite early on in a relationship. If you met someone that not into swinging, that would also raise its own questions.

So the short answer to your question is... does it matter where you meet someone?! For me no.

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By *tudmcmuffinMan
over a year ago

Swindon

There's plenty of people who have met through this and go on to get married etc.. I think it's more about people who connect on a deeper level than just shagging that makes it work.

The swinging just happens to be a common interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how you spend your social time. Are you more likely to meet someone in the scene easier than in vanilla world?

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Depends on how you spend your social time. Are you more likely to meet someone in the scene easier than in vanilla world?"

In my living room mainly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait there's a scene?!

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales


"Personally I think we meet people where we meet them. The more we are out and about the more people we meet. If you go to swingers clubs and are on swinger sites you are bound to meet swingers, simple. The truth about your 'hobby' is out there straight away. If you for example did yoga and blogged about yoga then you would meet other people that did yoga.

I guess because swinging is also about the sexual side of things the the conversation about where you both go with it needs to happy quite early on in a relationship. If you met someone that not into swinging, that would also raise its own questions.

So the short answer to your question is... does it matter where you meet someone?! For me no. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem I would have with meeting someone on the scene, as you call it, is him assuming we would carry on meeting people. I may not want to, at least not right away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met on here and have been together 3 years. We are very happy, still swing and are strong and comfortable in our relationship. So it can certainly work meeting here.

Poppy

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales


"The problem I would have with meeting someone on the scene, as you call it, is him assuming we would carry on meeting people. I may not want to, at least not right away. "

Talking about what you both want is essential I'd say. I'd want to not meet straight away either as you have to build the relationship and trust. Maybe carry on the social side but no playing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends entirely on what he meant that it's not healthy. What's not healthy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we met, off if here, we were both on here as singles, but we told each other straight away we were and have gone from there. We went to our first club together a week after we met and are now getting married next week

I think it depends on the people involved but there is no reason why meeting people ' on the scene' doesn't work, it has for plenty of people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously ads and I met here but we quickly said to each other we didn't want to swing, I don't think I could be in the relationship if he wanted to and I didn't go be honest but then who knows lol

G x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know my thoughts on this

The guy in question is a total ass who needs a new personality and has no right to tell someone else who to meet.

Anyway netherless I think that if you love the lifestyle here is a great place to meet someone for more, you know enough people that have the marriage and kids from meeting here to know it works. Personally I feel meeting a swinger is better as you don't have that awkward conversation of how many people have you slept with.... And you meet someone who "gets" you.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"My question is do you think it's unhealthy to meet someone on the scene rather than meeting say in a pub? Is it not up to them to ensure that a healthy relationship is formed? "

Is he trying to say that ultimately you will always get burnt on here, as the men are ultimately only looking for nsa sex, while he suspects you quite like the "spending huge amounts of time with him" bit?

If so, I'd say he is belittling your ability to deal with issues as they arise.

Ultimately only you can answer that question though.

Mr ddc

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